My earliest memories are of being beaten by the minions of Gardula the Hutt, my owner. I had broken something, accidentally of course, and she was enraged by my clumsiness. I was 3…I remember my mother holding me all night, doing her best to comfort me…

My mother…the harshness of my childhood didn't seem quite so bad because of her. I don't know if she had been a slave all her life, she never wanted to talk about her life before I was born. I only know that she existed for me, dedicating her life solely to my well being. I remember the day I left Tatooine with Qui-Gon Jinn; how stoic she was. I was everything to her, and yet she willingly gave me up so that I might realize my dream of becoming a Jedi. There was never a time when she put herself before me, and in the end, it was only the sight of my face that allowed her to know peace in her death…

"You look so handsome. My son...my grown-up son. I'm so proud ofyou, Annie... so proud... I missed you so much... I love..."

I drift into semi-consciousness, open my eyes. My son is at my side, his face strained with worry and fear. He is talking to the medical droids, I cannot hear what they are saying…I close my eyes and surrender once again to the weakness that floods my body…

Life as the slave of Watto was not so bad. I had always been fascinated by mechanical gadgets, so being the slave boy to a junk dealer had its upside. I think it was my ability to fix just about anything saved my life more than once. The tight fisted Toydarian had a nasty temper, and the only thing he seemed to love was money. Yet, working in his junk shop was a lot of fun for me, surrounded by mechanical gadgets, always something to be fixed. The days passed pretty quickly. And then there was the day that an angel walked into the shop…my Angel…

"Are you an angel?"

"What"?

"An angel. I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the Moons of Iego I think. They are the most beautiful creatures in the universe."

"You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?"

Ten years without seeing her, yet not a day went by without the vision of her face in my mind, the sound of her voice in my ears.

"Ani? My but you've grown!"

"So have you…more beautiful that is…"

Spending time with her, alone on Naboo for all those weeks was sweet torture. Just being in her presence made my heart race, my senses come alive. We fell in love on Naboo…or perhaps it was there that we finally admitted to our feelings. We tried to fight them, but it was no use. There was a bond there that was unmistakable, undeniable and we had no choice but to surrender to it. So on one warm evening we were married in a secret ceremony, with only 2 droids as our witnesses. It was the happiest moment of my life…

"Father, Father can you hear me?"

I open my eyes. I try to speak, but am unable to. I nod weakly.

"Father the medics want to try to help you," explains Luke as he takes my hand. "They say you might not survive the surgery though," he adds, his eyes reflecting his feelings. "I want you to know that before they try. There really isn't any choice, father…you…you won't survive much longer if we don't do something."

I squeeze Luke's hand, telling him silently that I understand. I don't expect to live much longer...didn't really expect I'd live this long…but I sense his need to try to save me. I close my eyes again and drift off once again.

I am on Naboo again, in a field of wild flowers, with Padmé. We are sitting amid the tall grass, the hot sun beating down on us over head. In the distance is the sound of the water rushing over a cliff into the river below. Yet of these things I am oblivious, for the vision of her face is all that I see. She is my world, my universe... The tendrils of her hair blow about her face in the gentle breeze, her smile brighter then the sun high above us. My heart aches with love for her…yet I cannot have her…it is forbidden for me to love her…and yet I do love her! She laughs at me as I try to ride on one of the beasts grazing in the nearby meadow…I think it was called a shaak…I am successful at first, but the beast is stronger than I had anticipated, and it throws me off and runs off. I lie on the ground, weak with laughter, as she runs over, calling my name. She thinks I am hurt, and when she finds me laughing, she smiles with relief and hits me. I grab her wrists, and we roll in the grass, laughing, our bodies close...

Such happiness…such innocence…how was it all destroyed? Infected...that is what happened...infected with the cancer that is the Dark Side….what might have been is what tortures me now, what could have been had I not been too weak to resist the lure of the Darkness…

I see my wife, rocking our baby to sleep, her face serene, and her voice melodic and gentle as she sings to the infant. I watch, mesmerized by the scene…suddenly there is a cry from the bassinet, and she looks up at me.

"Will you pick her up, Ani?" she asks.

I nod, and walk over to the bassinet. I pick up my daughter, Leia, and hold her close, speaking to her in soothing tones. Padmé watches me, a smile on her face. Soon both of our infants are asleep, and we lay them side by side in their bassinets. I put my arm around my wife as we watch our sleeping children, utterly happy.

But that isn't the way things happened…that isn't they way your life turned out…you destroyed her, the best thing in your life, you destroyed her and her love for you…the only woman who could love you and you killed her… "It seems in your anger, you killed her…"

The agony is immeasurable, crippling….how could I have done it? How could I have turned against her the way I did? She was the only good thing in my life, the only person who could keep me from becoming …the thing that I became…oh Padmé …my beautiful Padmé …I lost my soul when I lost you…

I can feel myself drifting…perhaps towards death this time…unable to stop the motion that carries me forward, helpless to fight it, not even certain I would if I could…