Chapter Two: When Heaven Falls Into Hell

I warily stood on the doorstep of my late cousin's mansion, my lanky hair tied back into a lazy French braid. Not even bothering to knock, I turned the doorknob. It was, of course, open. No one ever seemed to lock it anymore.

The place seemed deserted. I was tempted to call out for someone, but I restrained from it. I was probably just early, or very late.

Carefully, I rounded a corner. Though we had cleared out most of the dark creatures and curses years ago, there always seemed to be an unpleasant surprise waiting for you somewhere.

Inexplicably, as I turned the corner, I faced nothing. Just an empty kitchen. Looking around carefully, I sat down, feeling a strange sense of accomplishment to be the first there.

I examined the table in front of me drearily. It was quite dirty, really. Silently, I drew tiny pictures in the dust, eventually signing my name with a big 'NT'.

I heard ruffling noises beside me, and turned. People were coming. No voices, though. So, I was guessing, that there only one person.

As they turned the corner, and our eyes met, my blood ran cold. I suddenly remembered why I was never early to Order meetings. Standing a few feet away from me, frozen in his tracks, was Remus Lupin.

It was if both of our mouths had been glued shut, and our minds destroyed. We just stared at each other, unsure of what to do. My insides were churning horribly and I felt suddenly sick. Merlin, why did it have to be him?

He looked a lot paler then the last time I saw him, and his once clean-shaven face had been taken over by outrageous stubble – which really didn't suit him. His eyes were dark, hurt, and looked a bit frightened, even. I felt a wave of depression suddenly pass over me. Imagine a werewolf being afraid of a depressed twenty-six year old metamorphmagus. Words stung the back of my throat, but I ignored them.

It seemed Lupin came to his senses first. He blinked, looked down, and opened his mouth, though not saying anything. I drew in a fast breath and looked downwards also. This was what had become of a great friendship, a great…

Chattering voices from down the hall stopped my thoughts in their tracks. Lupin quickly moved to a seat as far away from me as possible, and continued to look down, seemingly absorbed, at his shoes.

Hestia Jones and Charlie Weasley greeted us with a tiny smile. They walked silently over to two empty seats. Charlie, always the gentleman, helped Hestia gracefully into her seat.

She smiled and gave him a loving kiss. I stiffened, and I could sense Lupin doing the same. Hestia and Charlie had been dating steadily for the past year, and now have just announced they're engaged. Of course, everyone is absolutely ecstatic for them. I just hope it doesn't turn out the same way as me.

Quite rapidly after Charlie and Hestia's arrival, everyone started to show up, Molly and Arthur surprisingly last.

"Sorry we're late," said Molly tiredly, absently fluffing up her greying hair.

McGonagall looked at her somewhat sternly, but turned to the rest of us. "Now that we are all here, I will officially begin this meeting. First order of business," McGonagall cleared her throat professionally, "is the new mission I have assigned a few of our members."

A few. I had forgotten two other members would accompany me.

"I have assigned," Minerva began again, for no for apparent reason, "three of our members to go and check out a small village in Calais for Dementors. They are supposedly breeding, and action needs to be taken quickly. I have assigned Nymphadora, Hestia and Remus to the case."

My eyes widened with shock, and in my subconscious I could feel dozens of eyes flipping back between Lupin and me.

No, I thought, my body freezing over. No, no, no, no. This cannot be happening. I can't go on a mission with Remus. No, no, no, no. I have to be dreaming. I have to be dreaming. Or, better yet, I'm dead and am just having some weird recollection moment. Please say I'm dead. Please.

Unfortunately, as I pinched myself silently under the table, I miserably concluded that I was neither dead nor dreaming.

Lupin gave a strangled sort of cough from my left, and I could feel him looking at me, though only from the corners of his eyes. This was hurting him as much as it was me, I could tell.

But it shouldn't, I thought suddenly. This was all his fault. He created this.

I groaned inwardly, and turned to McGonagall, who – totally and painfully oblivious – was still going on about this mission.

"So, I think there is nothing really more to say," Minerva said, stifling a yawn, and straightening her huge glasses lazily. "Does anyone have anything else to put forth?"

Yes! My body screeched. Get me off of this mission! I can't do this! Don't make me, please…

But I said nothing, and my expression remained nonchalant.

Everyone else remained silent also, abiding by the rule that if I didn't say anything, they wouldn't either.

"Meeting adjourned," said McGonagall quietly, getting up.

I got up as quickly as I could, not wanting to look anyone in the eye. I quickly ran into the sitting room, waiting for everyone to exit.

After about ten minutes of waiting, I slowly opened the door and slipped out. Luckily, as I checked the kitchen, Molly was still there, along with Arthur, Ginny, Charlie and Fred.

"Hello," I said quietly, stepping into the room and taking a seat at the dirty table.

"Hello," replied Molly, Arthur, Ginny and Charlie in unison.

Fred said nothing for a moment, before lifting his solemn face and managing a half smile. "Hi, Tonks."

I nodded slightly. "Is George any better?" I asked, my voice low.

The whole family stiffened. "No," answered Ginny, her voice surprisingly strong. "He…he's still in a coma."

I nodded again, inhaling slowly. George had been fighting a Death Eater about a year ago, when a near-lethal blast from behind knocked him out. And he's been just like that for a year. Alive…but eternally unconscious.

I stole a glance at Fred, whose body had tightened and his eyes had glazed over at the mere mention of his brother. George's accident had really changed him. He was still Fred…but much, much more serious. McGonagall, now, was closer to being the comical relief than Fred.

"There's still no sign of Bill, either," added Charlie, bringing me out my thoughts. "Ginny and me have searched everywhere."

Ginny nodded in agreement, her green eyes gleaming with tears. She had quit school to join the Order full time, mostly to search for her mysteriously missing brother, much to Molly's disagreement. But still, she was seventeen and Molly didn't have the will to argue any further.

I was tempted to ask about news from Harry, Hermione and Ron, but I decided not to. If there were any news, Molly would have brought it up at the meeting. Though, we weren't really even sure what they were doing. Ginny seemed to have a vague idea, but she refused to talk about it. All we knew was that, from their letters, they were safe and looking for something 'important'.

I glanced up at Molly, and noticed she was looking at me in that unbearably kind, motherly sort of way. I gave her an unconvincing 'I'm fine' nod and Molly frowned, lining her features even more.

"Can I speak to you – alone – for a moment?" she asked quietly.

I looked right at her, and knew immediately what was coming. Eventually, though, I nodded. I couldn't win against Molly.

We stood up, and entered the sitting room I had previously waited in.

Molly shut the door firmly behind us. She turned to me, her face grim.

"Tonks, dear, no one would blame you if you decided to…not take part in this mission. You don't have to do this."

Sustaining a shiver, I shook my head. "Molly…much as I'd…like to, I can't. I have a duty to the Order."

Inside, I was screaming at myself. Look, you had a chance to get out of this! Why didn't you take it? What is wrong with you?

I shook my head again, this time to free my mind of its thoughts.

Molly sighed, and rubbed her tired eyes. "OK. It's just a few days. Just…be careful, dear."

I glanced up, surprised. "Be careful?" I questioned quietly.

Molly looked at me, her eyes sharp. "I don't want you to be hurt again."

As Molly left the room, I wondered for a moment about her words. The way she said it just seemed so…accusing. Lupin hadn't purposely hurt me, had me?

Stop being on his side, I quickly told myself, lying down flat on the sofa. He doesn't deserve you on his side.

I sighed and let my hair out of the French braid it had been restrained in. Absently, I fought out the knots with my fingers, making it a bit more presentable.

As a familiar image of a pink, spiky haired metamorphmagus popped into my mind, I glanced in a mirror a few feet ahead of me. I inhaled a sharp breath and looked down at my pale, thin fingers, ignoring the tears hammering at the back of my eyes.

Taking one last look at mirror, I sighed, and scrunched up my face in concentration. Gingerly, I lifted one hand to my hair.

It was perfectly short and spiky.

I looked daringly in the mirror and gasped. My hair was indeed short, spiky, and bubblegum pink.

"Oh, Merlin," I whispered, my eyes wide. I looked so much…younger like this. More, bubbly, excited…happy.

A loud knock at the door startled me to my feet. Before anyone could come in, I quickly changed back to my, sad, lanky-haired self.

"Yes?" I squeaked.

The door opened a crack and Molly's head popped out. "I was just wondering if you'd like to have dinner at the Burrow."

Letting my eyes flicker to the mirror one last time, I nodded and followed her out the door.

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"Pass the potatoes, Fred," said Ginny loudly, his green eyes shining with annoyance. When their was no reply, her face began to steadily turn about as red as her hair. "Fred! Pass the bloody potatoes already!"

Fred's head lifted, and his eyes met Ginny's. "What?"

Ginny groaned, and like her face fall onto her plate.

"Ginny!" exclaimed Molly. "Do not use that foul word in front of me, and do not put your face in your food!"

Ginny lifted her head, a few pieces of food still sticking to it. She wiped off impatiently and scowled. "Then tell Fred to clean out his ears and return to reality!"

Molly sighed, and looked over exhaustedly to her son. "Fred, please give Ginny the potatoes."

Fred looked blankly between the both of them, and then slowly handed the bowl of potatoes to Ginny.

I remained silent through everything, observing with no excitement whatsoever of the Weasleys' family dramas.

Soundlessly, I looked down at my plate of food and began to slowly separate them onto different parts of the plate. Potatoes – far right. Steamed carrots – far left. Roast beef – center.

"Tonks, so, what's really up with your mission?" asked Ginny, leaning forward with interest. "It has to be harder than it seems, right? I mean, you're an Auror, you usually get the difficult missions, not the routine ones."

You can hardly call this routine, I thought bitterly.

"I don't know much," I murmured, still looking down at my plate. "McGonagall told me basically the same thing as you."

"Oh," said Ginny, hiding the disappointment in voice well. "Well, I'm done. I'll do the dishes. Tonks, wanna help?"

I glanced up, and shrugged. I stood up and followed her with my practically uneaten plate in hand.

But as soon as Ginny dumped her plate in the sink, she turned to me. "So, you and Remus on a mission together?"

I groaned inwardly, and ignored the tingling feeling I got whenever anyone brought him up. "Yes," I said, looking around the small kitchen.

"And?"

"Nothing," I said, my voice heavy, and possibly…disappointed? I let out an audible sigh, and suddenly felt irritable. It doesn't matter if I was actually disappointed or not. I swore to myself that I would never again get that close to the man, no excuses.

Ginny gave me a skeptical look, but got back to washing the dishes.

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