an: i'm always thinking about this! haven't given up on this, no writer's block or anything, I just had other prompts I had to clear out first, sort of going in the order of requests and my life outside of writing. plus i made an ao3 and i'm still in the process of deciding which fictions to move over there as well and i think this will be one of them. no worries though, i'll still be updating Less Awake on here first! i appreciate the love and support and as always, tips are much appreciated if you can. my kofi link is in my bio. hope you enjoy, so excited to share!!!
The next morning when he awoke, he felt heavier, tired, hungry- no, starved. Like he'd swam across the Atlantic in the middle of the summer. It took everything in him to shift one leg and then the other to rest on the side of the bed. His sensory perception seemed faint in the slightest, the same way the whole world dimmed a bit after he drank too much whiskey.
However dull his sense of smell was, he could still detect Bonnie's essence in his sheets and in the air, undeniably lingering as if she were still there with her legs behind her ears, getting fucked so thoroughly that she left tears on his shoulder.
Too tight, way too hot, and far too wet.
"Ah," he brought his fingers to his gums and groaned at the ache there.
Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie. Forever haunting him, a ghost with a pulse. Possessing the face of an angel gone rogue…where had she run off to?
How badly he wanted to sink his teeth into her, tear her pretty flesh just to see if her blood was still red and sweet and something like heaven.
That same angel face, serpent eyes, scrunched up like linen, full of satisfaction, asking him how many orgasms was he going to pump out of her? Asking him if he was digging a grave inside of her…asking him how good it felt to surrender.
Last night he stretched her all the way out and she milked every last drop out of him yet his erection was staring back at him now, running on will alone.
His gums throbbed.
Damon desired his teeth in her skin, but he was scared the minute he bowed his head and bit down, he'd only receive a mouthful of pillow because he was the last person on earth who deserved to have Bonnie begging him to fuck her senseless.
He was scared that if he broke the moment, she'd come to her senses, laugh at him or kill him or abracadabra herself right out of his bed.
He just did what was begged of him, he did it harder, faster, and when he woke up in the middle of the night with her mouth wrapped around his other head again, he made her ride it forwards and backwards until she cried out,
"Oh my fucking god, I want to have your babies!"
So he fucked her from behind because he was curious about her back arch and he had an urge to see her in every position possible. He kept a grip on her neck while he whispered in her ear that she'd never ever feel like this again unless he wanted her to.
"Oh,"
That she'd die before she felt this type of satisfaction.
"Mmhmm!"
That he'd rip anyone that came close to her in shreds.
"Yes, please, Damon,"
And then he held her waist and drilled into her until her voice turned gravelly.
Last night, she milked every last drop out of him and he swore to god he didn't even blink once.
.
"Sounds like you had quite the night." The Caroline-infected part of Stefan was rearing its ugly head early.
Damon was traipsing through the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of whiskey, to knock off or deepen his morning fog, he didn't know. Stefan was doing his usual: intruding.
"Why am I not surprised you were eavesdropping?"
"Eavesdropping? You're telling me you have no idea how loud you were?" Damon shrugged his shoulders. "I thought Bonnie was screaming for her life."
He stared into the distance tenderly. "She was."
"Wow," and then came the infamous brood, "there was always something between you two but-"
"-Here we go-"
"what about Elena?" Stefan asked it gently, like he was forcing his own hand bringing up the obvious though it wasn't like she was waking up tomorrow or the next five years, for that matter.
What about Elena?
Truthfully, Damon hadn't really thought about that; it was hard getting his mind to think of anything else besides Bonnie, pun intended though he did feel guilt now…somewhat.
It was only a matter of time. If anyone outlined his past steps and predicted his next, it made perfect sense. Thinking on it, it wouldn't be shocking if the Scooby Doo Gang placed bets on when he turned to his bestie for sexual healing; Damon had a hard time believing this would blindside anyone.
Bonnie was the perfect friend.
Bonnie was perfect.
She tugged at his heartstrings the same way Elena had and that scared him. Something had to be done about that so he decided to shelve her early, far out of his reach because she was too perfect for anyone, especially him, to have. He thought doe eyes and a kissable pout would be his end-all, but then he was on his tiptoes with outstretched hands, struggling to knock that Bon Bon shelf down.
That was Damon Salvatore, always reaching for the things just beyond his fingertips.
What he felt was something like a twinge of guilt because he had already felt overwhelming guilt the first time his eyes dropped to Bonnie's lips when they argued, or when he wanted to tear her apart in the prison world, and when he snuck into her dreams, fixed her pancakes, daydreamed about eating her, got jealous of any man that showed her interest, the list went on and on and on…
And Stefan was sitting there expectantly, probably half happy that the woman Damon wanted the most-the woman he took from his own brother- he had also cheated on with her best friend. His stupid baby brother probably knew all along that'd he'd ruin the relationship he tried so hard to steal, then ruin her soon after, but sadly his main regret was perhaps wishing he hadn't found Elena first.
Bonnie who had wandered into the woods, complaining about life and the complications of having a boring boyfriend. No, she would be chatting about her crazy grams who told her things out of a fairytale, things of magic and witches and Hogwarts Academy. The same Bonnie Bennett who bubbled with personality like the brightest champagne. What a little bird she was back then; flitting around, zestful and chipper. If the witch had met Damon first, what would've happened?
Stefan cleared his throat, clearing Damon's mind in the process so he could stop thinking about what if and focus on what was.
"I don't know. You think Elena'll be mad at Bonnie even when she's dead and gone?"
Stefan's eyebrows straightened and his voice took on an even tone. "I wasn't thinking about the friendship between Elena and Bonnie, I was thinking about the relationship between you and Elena. She'll be devastated." He clarified.
"And probably angry, hell, she might hate me forever but guess what, I fucked up. She's used to that. Everyone is accustomed to Damon the Fuck-Up. It comes with the territory."
Stefan just shook his head.
"I think you're in over your head, Damon. We can both agree Bonnie is different from how she used to be."
"Different from what she used to be, that's for sure."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I don't wanna put another wrinkle on your forehead, brother. Just know that contrary to what you have going on in that enlarged skull of yours, I'm helping a friend out. Speaking of, where is Bon Bon?"
But Stefan's eyebrows were already drawing nearer and he looked at Damon, then looked harder, gave him a very thorough search from head to toe and narrowed his eyes.
Quizzically he gestured, "What's that?"
There were little crescent nail marks on his arm that was peeping out from under the sleeve of his t-shirt. A sign of Bonnie playing rough. Deep and dark purple, not a trace of healing.
"Why are you bruised?"
"God, you are such a buzzkill. I'm hungry, I'm healing a little bit slower because I haven't eaten yet, mom."
"You are insufferable."
"Now you're really starting to sound like Lily."
"Still- it should've healed by now."
"Stefan," Damon outstretched his arms dismissively, " I beg of you, go worry about something else."
Before Stefan could say more, the lilting conversation of Caroline and Bonnie came tumbling in through the front door. Damon examined as Stefan's expression turned to polite yet guarded, the grass green of his eyes turned steel grey and his lips upturned in a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes when the two entered the kitchen.
Bonnie was the picture of supreme femininity and sex appeal, sporting an afterglow that would make the stars jealous. He successfully willed his eyes not to get all veiny and encouraged his stomach not to growl.
Caroline, well Caroline looked sort of pissed once she spotted Stefan. As if he didn't live here.
"Hi Bonnie, Caroline." He clipped out, ever the gentleman. Damon rolled his eyes.
"Stefan." Caroline replied.
There was tension present, and not the usual sexual tension between Damon and Bonnie. It was just plain old, un-fun, un-sexy tension that made everyone in the room want to run. Steroline dread.
"Can the side characters please exit stage left?" Damon asked, clasping his hands together with his squint pointedly fixed at Blondie and Hero Hair. "The main characters have something they would like to discuss."
Vampire Barbie grimaced and told Bonnie, "I'll wait for you in the car,"
Stefan all but disappeared.
Alone again, Bonnie gave him a very curt, very polite smile. "What's up?" She asked.
What's up?
What's up?
Maybe the fact that I can't get you out of my mind, my sheets are still clinging to your scent, and every bone in my body is tender with the need to gnaw on your skin until I draw blood, and guess what? I won't stop there.
Instead he narrowed his eyes like he knew something she didn't, "You're testing me, aren't you?"
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is we have a-" he looked up searchingly for the perfect words, "-we have a fucking mind blowing night. And early morning, for that matter, but I wake up to be wrapped in sheets. Not to our legs entangled, or the ends of your hair on my pillow…" Damon halted himself out of fear from sounding too much like a hopeless romantic. "We should at least chat about what happened, right?"
"Oh, right! You mean that." She took the second shot he poured for himself and downed it quickly. "It was crazy and fun. Thank you so much!" Bonnie looked at the time and frowned. "I'm gonna…" She started to run-walk out of the house towards the door gesturing something like Caroline would kill her if she kept her waiting any longer but before she reached the door, she jogged back up to him. "For good luck." She took a swig of whiskey from the bottle, gave him a friendly little pat-on-the-back hug and left for good.
.
"Elena, I fucked up. Big time."
Damon was visiting again, a weight on his back, a scar on his heart, guilt like dumbbells on his brain, it was bad. He was finally feeling that all-encompassing guilt.
And Elena was the exact opposite, as pretty and undisturbed as the red roses that never die. He needed to be here, if anything to release the pressure he felt that he did do something very stupid and very wrong and possibly unforgivable. How simple it would be to confess now, while her ears were hearing but not listening.
He took his time to pace around the room, gathering thoughts at every corner. He would open his mouth to speak, then deciding against it, open his mouth again to confess then close it. His words were branding together like a swarm of bees, prickling the inside of his throat until it swelled with all of the things that he needed to say.
"Put your fucking big boy pants on," he told himself.
And then it tumbled out.
"I fucked Bonnie Bennett, my best friend, and yes everyone says that friends shouldn't fuck and that's cool or whatever, but I did. She said she needed me, that she was hungry so I'd like to think that I did it for all the right reasons but it was too too good, like you and me sneaking behind Stefan's back, like you and me before all of the problems and disagreements. I feel like shit, like I've failed you because Bon Bon is like a sister to you, or better than that, she was the only best friend you've ever known. Even I know you and Caroline had a rocky start. And technically I fu- ugh actually that's too awful to think about. The thing is, I messed up. Again. And I know you said that you only wanted me to live my life but god, I kinda know that you didn't mean it like this."
Elena made no sudden movements, or crude gestures, no tears out of molasses brown eyes, she didn't yell at him or hate him, or do the most Elena thing of all- forgive him- she just rested.
Closed, eyes, steady breath, he envied the peace running free in her mind.
.
"It smells so good in here,"
Bonnie was helping set the table while Stefan cooked vesuvio, a pasta, he claimed, that was bursting with enough flavors, it was named after a volcano.
He had decided to invite Matt and Alaric over since Bonnie insisted that she needed to know more about what was happening in everyone's lives during her absence. The invitation was extended to Caroline, who declined to no one's surprise.
Whatever the two had going on, not even Caroline wished to dig deep into which was shocking for Bonnie since she never withheld information from her ever. She'd only said,
"Trouble in paradise, it comes with the territory,"
And that, Bonnie Bennett could absolutely agree with.
Stefan didn't reveal much either, but that was him on a normal day, though she could feel his reservations towards her, naturally, because he was a highly analytical person and she was in here getting mixy with Damon not even twenty-four hours ago. She knew how that made her look...like she was causing trouble.
Bonnie didn't want to ruffle any feathers too soon or too much so she decided to reestablish a general trust.
"Can I do the honors?" She asked a big spoon already in hand as she hovered over the sauce pot.
"Fine by me," he blushed ever so slightly.
"Perfect."
Nice to know that the flirting she did yesterday didn't go to waste. Plus she was thankful for the new glow Damon so graciously bestowed upon her. His power was all throughout her, she had never experienced this sort of satisfaction and that nagging hunger that always trailed after her was sated, but why did that make her want Damon even more?
Down, girl.
It was better to not have Stefan catching a whiff of her arousal, he had already heard enough last night, and as Damon still wasn't back from, what Bonnie guessed, was repenting his sins, she had no one to play with.
Also, it was important that she pull away from him, to keep him on his toes. Fill him up with attention and gratification and then leave him high and dry. Starve him, make him feel crazy, it was better that way.
When she snuck another taste of the pasta sauce, she mumbled a "yum," but her mind was on glacier blue eyes and raven hair.
.
Damon finally returned to the manor after dreadfully boring conversation from Matt and dad chats with Alaric that were actually cute and endearing. Stefan put in his two cents every now and again before quickly turning into a hawk when Bonnie's eyes flitted to his brother.
"What is happening here?" Damon asked, confusion and disgust all over his face.
"I needed an excuse for Stefan to fix dinner again." Bonnie smiled.
"And you had to invite Matt?" Matt promptly sucked his teeth. "This is my own house and I wasn't invited?"
Alaric chimed in, "We knew you had to come home sooner or later."
"Yeah. Anyway, why are you so grumpy?"
But she knew why. It was because she brushed him off earlier, made him feel like he was pining after her just to stir up the pot. Made him feel like he was nothing more than a lost puppy following her around. Made him feel like what they were supposed to be.. friends. Bonnie wanted to ask him how it felt to be on the other side of the cat and mouse games.
Poor Jerry, Tom is coming to get you.
Damon didn't bother to answer, just left for a minute and re-emerged with a bottle of whiskey.
"Pour me up," Alaric slapped his tumbler down.
"Me too. One for the road." Matt looked on with muted disdain.
"The officer drinks and drives? I think I might hate you a little less."
Stefan brushed off the chance to drink, still observing every interaction between Bonnie and Damon.
"I'll take the bottle,"
"We should cheers,"
"To friendship." Bonnie suggested, looking at Damon pointedly.
"To friendship," they concurred, glasses clinking in solidarity.
Damon's eyes never left Bonnie's.
.
After the dinner party ended, Bonnie offered to clean the dishes with an ulterior motive of being alone with Damon. It was easier said than done since Stefan claimed that guests shouldn't have to lift a finger, and while she believed that was true, she was smart enough to realize that Stefan needed some more intel.
To his dismay, Bonnie stood firm.
"Damon will help me. The cook shouldn't have to clean." And with her glowing the way she was, it was hard not to fall for her charm though Stefan was a pretty strong contender.
Immediately, she turned on the faucet as a precaution when he left.
"Are you mad at me?" Bonnie asked innocently, looking up at Damon through her lashes, and tiptoeing towards him.
"Bonnie," Damon warned lowly as her hands rubbed up the neckline of his shirt.
"You're my bestie, you can't be mad at me." She frowned, tiptoeing up again to place a chaste kiss to his lips.
"Is this fun for you?"
"It's supposed to be fun for us, but you don't wanna play with me." She brought him closer and whispered in his ear, "Play with me, please."
She saw the veins stretch out from under his eyes at the inflection of her voice.
"Bonnie."
"You're hungry, that's why you're so rude." She watched his mouth before placing her thumbs inside to feel for his fangs. The sharpness almost sliced clean through. She bit her lip at the thought of him sucking on her neck, haziness growing in her gaze before stating,"You can bite me if you want."
"Stop it."
"What?" The press of her body against his was heavier. "I want you to bite me."
"This isn't some game, Bonnie. I'm not a toy."
She smiled wide. "You're way better than a toy." The playfulness drained from her tone as she put a little space in between them. "I'm not doing this because I'm sick and twisted. I want to help my best friend, Damon." Her words were dripping with sincerity, if her expression wasn't so suggestive he'd have believed her. "Can I do that?"
Damon shut his eyes to block her out, to take a deep breath and stop letting her voice interrupt his rational thoughts.
Biting her was dangerous. He couldn't guarantee he'd have control. He'd never forgive himself if he hurt her- but deeper than her voice penetrating his train of thought was the smell of her blood. When he opened his eyes again, his sight darkened, and a thin line of red trailed down from her neck.
Bonnie had the knife she'd pricked her neck with directly below his chin. "Lick it." She encouraged.
He was going to blackout if he didn't hold on to his restraint. She made no effort to move the knife closer or away, just kept it fixed for him to make a decision.
"Look, Damon, you're in control. You'll know when to stop."
He wanted to swallow that knife like he was apart of the circus. Another red trail rushed down the side of her neck, Damon was sweating.
"Oops.." the tip of the knife slid against his lips, smearing them red; he was strong but not that strong. Damon's teeth scraped against his lips to savor the flavor, reeling at the power there, the magic intertwined.
She watched him get high off of that tiny taste with black spots of lust breaking her vision before he snatched the knife from her grasp to get every last drop. Damon looked like the closest thing to a monster she had ever seen, fangs bared, eyes void, restraint hanging by a thread. Bonnie should've felt scared, or better yet, ran off, but the yearning for him was so strong, she couldn't use her legs.
"I am going to devour you."
She really hoped so.
