Disclaimer: If I owned either Xiaolin showdown or Artemis Fowl, I would be making this as a film. But I don't so it has to be a fanfic.

Note: If you don't recognise a Shen Gong Wu it's because it is from another of my fanfics. I like reusing Shen Gong Wu.

Sorry about the wait. Please excuse any mistakes as I've lost my copy of Artemis Fowl.

Artemis Fowl - Xiaolin Style Scene 3

The set design team had outdone themselves. In just one hour, aided heavily by the tunnel armadillo and shard of lightning, they had carved out a huge network of underground tunnels. Even the Author was impressed, something that didn't happen easily.

"Wow!" commended the Author after a long pause, "this is great. How are you holding the ceiling up?"

"Ah…" began one of the set designers but was interrupted by an ominous rumbling sound, "I knew there was something we forgot."

"Oh for goodness sake!" shouted the Author, "GOLDEN TIGER CLAWS!" they all teleported to safety as the tunnel collapsed. Two hours and a lot of yelling later the set design team had carved out a brand new network of tunnels, with ceilings held up by teams of Jackbots.

"Won't people notice the Jackbots?" asked Kosmic.

"Nah," replied the Author, "We'll just edit them out later. Have the Wu been copied with the silver penny? Good! Is everyone in position?" Nobody was. Kimiko was playing video games, Omi was practising combat moves and Jack was refusing to wear the handcuffs unless they had been washed thoroughly first. At least Xiaolin Monkey, a new recruit bought in to play Foaly, was waiting on set.

"DO YOU LOT WANT TO BE FLARGIKED?" roared the Author, causing everyone in the vicinity to jump. A moment later everybody was in position.

"LIGHTS!" yelled the Author, "CAMERA! ACTION!" Dojo ran in front of the camera with his clapperboard as the action started.


Although she had not been awake for long, Kimiko was in a foul mood. She was running late again, and expected a long period of reprimanding off Omi when she arrived at work. Pausing only to grab a smoothie from her fridge and to pull on her uniform, Kimiko hurried out of her house and into the street. As usual there was a lot of traffic, making Kimiko even later for work.

As she arrived at LEP headquarters she saw a handcuffed Jack Spicer being led away by an LEP officer. Jack was in the process of picking the officers pocket. Kimiko gave him a quick jolt with the thorn of thunderbolts and he halted his actions. Kimiko tried to sneak past Omi's office but…

"KIMIKO! Get in here!" Groaning, Kimiko entered Omi's office. Omi was standing behind his desk looking furious.

"What time do you call this Kimiko?" he yelled. Kimiko did not know what he was so bothered about; lots of the male officers had not arrived yet.

"Sorry sir," muttered Kimiko, "the traffic was really bad, four lanes were down and…"

"Don't give me that," interrupted Omi, "You know what the traffic is like, just get up earlier!" Kimiko knew that she should get up earlier, but wouldn't, not until the male officers had to as well.

"I know what you're thinking," stated Omi, "Why am I picking on you. It's because you're a girl!" Kimiko launched herself at Omi, beating him to the ground until…


"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?" Yelled the Author.

"He insul… began Kimiko.

"IT'S IN THE SCRIPT!" screamed the Author.

"Oh," muttered Kimiko lamely, "Erm, sorry Omi." She helped Omi up off the floor.

"Any more of that and I'll replace you!" reprimanded the Author, "Now, ACTION!"


"I know what you're thinking," stated Omi, "Why am I picking on you. It's because you're a girl! You're the test case, you've got to be the best you can be and you're not good enough. I'm transferring you to traffic." Kimiko groaned. Suddenly the phone rang. Omi answered it.

"What now? A troll, where? Damn there are no officers available. Don't worry I'll find one and send them right there," Omi put down the phone and surveyed Kimiko, "It's your lucky day Kimiko. It seems there a rogue troll loose in Italy and you're the only recon officer available. Report to Foaly for weaponry and briefing." Not being able to believe her luck, Kimiko quickly left the room in case Omi change his mind. As she entered Foaly's operations booth she fell about laughing at the sight that met her eyes.


"What is so funny?" Demanded the Author.

"He looks like he's wearing a mangled pantomime horse!" giggled Kimiko, pointing at Xiaolin Monkey.

"He's playing a centaur!" explained the Author, "What else was I supposed to do? Now control yourself." After a while Kimiko eventually stopped laughing. The Author was about to resume shooting when their mobile phone rang. The Author answered it.

"Yes? Oh no! I'll be right there." Said the Author, then they hung up, "Sorry about this but it seems there's a dragon outside demanding to see me. We'll finish this scene later. I'll meet you all back here in an hour."

What does this mysterious dragon want? Will this movie ever get finished? Who is the mysterious Author? Does anyone really care? Some of these questions might get answered in the next instalment of "Artemis Fowl: Xiaolin Style!"