Chapter Eight: There Goes My Sanity, Pt. 1

As soon as I woke up that morning, I knew something was wrong. I could sense it.

And, in now less than five seconds, I spotted just exactly what it was.

Charlie Weasley was lying beside me.

I let out a scream, and jumped off of the couch and onto the ground. "What the hell!" I screeched at his slowly awakening body.

He blinked at me, and then sleepily rubbed his eyes. He sat up straighter, and I could see he was shirtless. Holy shit. What the hell had happened?

"What…" I rasped, my voice quickly trailing off. Charlie was laughing. Actually, he was giggling. Like a little schoolgirl. I could practically feel steam pouring out of my ears. What was so funny about this

"Tonks…" he started, rolling off of the bed, and sitting down beside me on the floor. I stared blankly at his bare feet. "Nothing happened."

"But…why…" I paused, and felt my heavy head at it pounded with pain. I must have been drinking…

"You…er…" He looked down at me uncertainly before continuing. "You were a little out of sorts. You…kissed me…" Charlie blushed, and I could feel heat rising to my own cheeks. Merlin, I was such an idiot… "And, well, then passed out. I didn't really want to leave you here, so…"

"Argh!" I groaned, and put my head in my hands. "Charlie…I am really, really, really sorry. Really…I just…er…."

I lifted my head from my hands, and my eyes met Charlie's laughing hazel ones. I shot him a sarcastic-annoyed look and he kicked me softly with his toes. I crossed my arms over my chest, and slapped him playfully on the arm. "You loser," I mumbled.

Charlie grinned roguishly, grabbed a pillow, and flung it at my face. I choked down at fit of laughter as I pummeled it back at him, somehow tackling him over in the process. Now, as I lay giggling on top of him, Charlie finally spoke seriously. "Why can't it be like this all time, anymore?"

My brief feelings of happiness faded, and rolled off him onto the ground. "Charlie…" I started, my voice low.

"No, Tonks," he said, half cross, half sad. He peered at me sadly, his huge eyes delivering the perfect pitiful puppy-dog look. "It used to be so wonderful…we'd always do silly stuff…just act like complete fools and have a great time doing it. Now, everything's changed…"

"Charlie, we've had to change. What with the war…" I was trying to be sympathetic to him. Really. He deserved my sympathy. But I really didn't know if I could handle talking about this…it just wasn't the right time.

Charlie shook his head, tousling his red hair messily in front of his face. I felt myself unwillingly smile, and I suddenly realized why he had been such a lady's man in Hogwarts. I saw Charlie's eyes wander down to my lips, and I saw his own smile light up his face. "See? There we go…" he murmured, nodding down at me. "A smile. Your smile." I blushed slightly, and Charlie sighed. "And it's not just that, Tonks. Everybody's changed. But you…you're a different person altogether." My head suddenly felt ten tons heavily, and I wearily lifted a hand to support it. I wish he would stop…"I miss you. We all miss you…"

"Don't you think I know that?" I said sharply, my eyes tearing holes in his. "I know, I've changed, but damn it, I've had to! I can't be the old Tonks anymore, Charlie! She was too naïve, too open, too…easy to hurt…" My eyes watered, and I blinked furiously. Stop it! I'm supposed to be angry…I can't let Charlie see me cry.

And suddenly, I felt a strong pair of arms surround me. Gulping back the heavy lump in my throat, I returned the hug, pulling Charlie close to me. At that moment, I knew I couldn't last longer without this. I needed someone. I needed anyone. I couldn't keep blocking everyone out.

But I couldn't let myself be hurt anymore, either…

"Er –" I abruptly pulled away, and stared down at the ground. "I have to get to work," I half-lied, standing up quickly.

"Tonks…" I ignored his almost pleading voice, and ran for the door. "Tonks! Please…"

Maybe if I could just get away from everything, I wouldn't need anything.

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OK, socks – check. Shirts – check. Coat – damn. I looked wildly around my small room. There was always something…

"Tonks, can I come in?" I heard Ginny's voice call from the other side of the door.

I sighed, and quickly opened the door for her.

"Thanks," she said, giving me a small smile.

We stood, staring in uncomfortable silence, before Ginny suddenly collapsed down in tears on my bed. "I'm sorry!" she wailed, her words muffled from her large sobs. "I-I-I didn't know w-who else t-to c-come to! Her-her-hermione wouldn't understand and-and Mum – Mum w-would just fr-freak out!" She gulped, and set her head down in her hands, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

I blinked. Whoa. I crouched down to her level, and put a gentle hand on her back. "Ginny?"

"I'm pregnant!" she squealed, turning her tear-soaked face toward me, and crossing her hands on her lap. "I-I don't know what to do Tonks, I just don't!"

My mouth nearly fell open in shock. Ginny – who would barely be a legal adult now, was pregnant. "Ah – is it – does – er – Harry?" Was all I could stammer out. I winced internally. I sounded pathetic.

"Yes, it's his," said Ginny quickly, almost impatiently. She looked up at the ceiling, and a final tear streaked down her face. "And no, he doesn't know."

"Are you in contact with him?" I asked quietly, as Ginny hastily rubbed her cheeks dry.

"Er – " Ginny sighed, and bit her lip to prevent it from shaking. "N-not really. Sort of, I mean…I duno where he is…b-but sometimes, he owls me…" Ginny's voice dropped to almost a whisper, "and comes to see me…" Ginny inhaled sharply, and tapped her fingers loudly on the bedpost. "But I can't tell him, Tonks…"

I sighed, "Why not?"

"He's in the midst of a war with V-V-oldemort," her voice dropping dramatically. My eyes opened wide. I had never heard Ginny say his name before. I felt almost embarrassed, suddenly. Here I was, nearly twenty-seven, and I couldn't even bare to think about saying it.

You did, once…after you had heard Remus use it so much…

I icily brushed off my thoughts, and turned my attention back to Ginny. "True, but still…" I looked at her gently. "How can you keep this from him?"

Ginny blinked away a few tears, and stopped her tapping abruptly. "I'll get rid of it," she said finally, and a pained expression came over her face as she spoke.

Suddenly, a resounding BANG interrupted our conversation, and I saw the form of two angry red heads tumble through the now totally dilapidated door.

"I'm going to murder him!" roared Fred, standing up quickly, and glaring at Ginny. "I am going to murder Harry Potter!"

Charlie looked just as livid. "What the hell was he thinking? You're seventeen, Ginny!" Charlie's face reddened a few shades. "I am going to kill Harry Potter!"

Ginny's face had paled a great deal of shades, and she had the expression on her face like she wasn't sure rather she wanted to start crying, or hex her brothers into oblivion.

"Why the hell are you listening in on my conversations?" she whispered dangerously, her flashing. I bit my lip. I guess she decided on anger…

Ginny jumped from the bed, whipped towards her brothers and grabbed the thin red cords still in their ears. She tugged them forcefully out and both men let out a wince of pain. "I am going to murder both of you!"

The men looked, appropriately, scared now. "Ginny," tried Fred, coming closer and trying to rest a gentle hand on her shoulder. She threw it off, and glared at him.

"We only want what's best for you," said Charlie.

"Yes, we always have," added Fred, nodding along.

"And, now look! All our hard work has gone to waste!" said Charlie, his temper flaring once more.

"Because of Harry Bloody Potter!" snarled Fred, clenching his fists.

"It's not Harry's fault!" screeched Ginny, stomping her foot loudly on the ground, once more gathering their bewildered attention. "It was an accident, alright? And stop talking like I'm one of your silly experiments! I am my own person, and I make my own decisions!"

"And look how that's turned out," muttered Fred, arms folded.

"Shut up!" yelped Ginny, her face now as red as her hair. And this time, for once, the men looked slightly apologetic. "I have options, you know!" My breath caught, as I heard her voice begin to break. "I…I can…" Her eyes teared up, and she fled from the room, leaving her brothers to stare in bewilderment at me.

"Tonks…you have got to help her," whispered Charlie.

"We're her brother's…we don't know this…we can't talk to her about this…" Fred added, looking almost mournful.

"She has to talk to Harry," I said finally, after seeing the men might finally be able to contain their tempers.

"Why does he have to know?" snapped Fred quickly.

"For starters, he's the father," I snapped back, becoming suddenly protective of Ginny's feelings. "He has a right, regardless of whatever Ginny decides."

Both their faces fell. "This is such a mess," murmured Charlie, running a hand through his hair, messing it up even more.

Fred looked pensively up at the ceiling, then down at my bed. "Where're you going?"

Charlie and I both blinked at him, surprised by this sudden subject change. "Er – Calais." I answered slowly. "I've been sent back on the mission."

Fred nodded. "Right."

Charlie quickly glanced from me to his brother. "We should probably go," he said to Fred.

"OK," I answered, turning back to my bed. "Wait!" I said suddenly, spinning back to face them. "You…you guys can't tell anyone."

They blinked. "Yeah…OK," said Fred finally, and I knew (though they dreaded to admit it) that it was a painful sacrifice to keep anything from their mother.

Watching them rapidly exit, I sighed, and flopped down on the bed. The fun just keeps coming and coming…

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A/N: Argh! Yes, I'm sorry about the shortness…I have no excuse, except that I had no muse to work with in this chapter. It seems to have left me. Temporarily, I hope. Pt. 2 to this chapter will hopefully be posted soon. Also, after this next chapter or so I will be moving on to basically ALL LUPIN/TONKS WORKING IT OUT/TRYING TO GET ALONG magic. After all, it's not a romance fic for nothing ; ) Oh, and if Charlie seemed a little out of place in the second part of this chapter it's because he…well…is. Originally I had hoped to have George in that sequence…but, well, he IS a little preoccupied at the time, isn't he? ) Please review, my faithful readers!