Song lyrics are from All about loving you by Bon Jovi

Minor Spoilers for: Rose, the Satan Pit

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Soul Searching

Chapter Three

Every time I look at you, baby,
I see something new

The Doctor felt Rose's soft fingers against his lips and everything inside him tightened. Did she know what he was going to say? Did she not want to hear it? Or did she want to say it first? The Doctor held his breath trying to prevent himself from speaking, he had been so ready to tell her, so ready to say those three words, but she had stopped him. He felt as though he was standing at the edge of a cliff and each second was an hour and each hour was a day, time had literally stopped and there was nothing he could do but wait. Her eyes locked with his and they remained that way for a moment.

'I know' she finally said. The Doctor froze; did she know that he loved her? Did she know every single emotion that was running through his body and soul in this very moment? Did she know the feeling he got every time she smiled at him, the tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach every time she grabbed his hand?

That takes me higher than before
and makes me want you more

Her soft smile answered all of his questions, every single one of them. How could he have been so stupid to doubt her, to doubt his love for her, doubt her love for him?

'Oh, Rose' he whispered as he gazed into her eyes drowning in the love he saw in them. He gently placed a hand on each side of her cheek and used his thumbs to trace her cheek bones. She looked at the floor for a moment then raised her lashes to meet his unwavering gaze, her lips parted and she began to chew on the bottom of her lip.

'Doctor' she whispered back. They both had so much to say to each other but neither of them could find the words to say. The Doctor took a small step towards her, she had risen from the sofa now and stood directly in front of him, she could feel his warm breath on her face. She took a deep breath in and lost herself in the intensity of his deep brown eyes. The Doctor gently pressed his lips against hers, both of them were holding back – testing the waters. They stayed this ways for a moment then they lost themselves in the kiss that was becoming very passionate very quickly, both of them fulfilling their desires in this one moment.

I don't wanna sleep tonight;
dreaming's just a waste of time

'Rose' the Doctor gently moaned against Rose's lips, then they broke away from one another. Their forehead gently rested against each other as they both gathered their bearings. Neither of them could describe the feeling that happens when a dream becomes a reality, Rose knew that she no longer had to kiss the Doctor in her dreams – she could have him in reality, and in her opinion reality was a lot better. Their noses were touching and the Doctor let out a satisfied sigh, now was the moment

'Rose, I love you' he whispered for hear ears to hear only. She paused for a moment unsure of whether he had said it or she had imagined it.

'What?' she squeaked

'I said I love you' The Doctor replied slowly. He watched her eyes unsure of what she was thinking. Her eyes were unreadable and the Doctor panicked, he was so sure she had felt the same, was this not what she wanted to hear? Not what she wanted to know? If she didn't love him then how could she respond to his kiss like that? She closed her eyes and he had absolutely no idea what she was thinking or how she was feeling.

When I look at what my life's been coming to
I'm all about loving you

Rose squeezed her eyes shut; she couldn't have heard him wrong – not twice. It had to be true, he had to love her. It was as though everything had frozen, all of time, space and matter, she stood frozen to the spot afraid that if she moved the moment would shatter and they would return to the uncomfortable silences. She took a deep breath in and slowly opened her eyelids, she could see the Doctors smile had faded and his face was a mixture of anticipation and fear. She smiled at him, a slow warm smile, and then she put her hand on his face, her fingers gently scraping his cheek, savouring the texture under her skin. She locked her eyes with him then spoke

'Oh Doctor' she whispered. She lent her forehead against his and gazed into his eyes, she traced her finger along his lips

'Don't look so worried' she gently teased. Then she pressed a small kiss to him mouth.

'I love you to' she whispered watching his eyes as she said it. His eyes lit up and began to sparkle again. His eyes were so intense, she could drown in them, but she just carried on looking beginning to blush under his gaze. He had looked at her like this before, he always snuck a peak at her, but she would always catch him and he would break the look, this was the first time she had looked him in the eye like this. The first time he hadn't broken the look, but deepened it.

'That's the best thing I've heard in a long time. A very long time' he whispered, both of them fearing to speak above the level of whispers in case they broke the atmosphere – lost in the moment. They stared at each other this way for a moment, then the Doctor moved forward.

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues

The Doctors' lips met Roses', the kiss started sweet and soft, full of sentiment but it was quickly becoming passionate. The Doctor had lived for nine hundred years, which was millions of places, billions of memories, trillions of emotions but nothing in his entire life had felt as good as this moment. In this moment where he had Rose's lips pressed against his, this moment where he pulled her close and she grabbed fistfuls of his hair, this moment where he could finally caress her face without fear of consequences or explanations. He'd spent so long running from things, from people, from truths, from emotions, he had made sure he was alone and lived in his world of darkness and death. That was of course, until he met Rose Tyler. He had seen something in that moment he first met her, something special. That's why he asked her twice, he'd asked her to come travelling with him and she stood there with Mickey clinging to her and shook her head, he had thought fine, he didn't care and started to leave. Then he saw her swinging from a rope, flying through the air trying to save him – a man she barley knew- she was that willing to give her life for his. He'd seen it in her eyes and her eyes haunted him, which was why he went back, why he asked her that second time with all the hope in the universe on that question. But she'd said yes, she'd agreed to come with him and everything from that moment was building up to this one. The moment where he could finally kiss her and have her kissing him back with the same love and the same passion fuelling the kiss.

We've been to hell and back again
Through it all you're always my best friend

They had been to hell, he had floated directly above hell and even then there was one thing running through his mind: Rose. He had almost said it then, almost said it to a complete stranger asking her to tell Rose for him, but then he knew. That was the moment he began to believe Rose might love him back. 'Tell her… tell her I…. ah, she knows', how could she not? How could she not know he loved her when every look he gave her said it, every word he spoke was smothered in it, when every hug they had he could feel it setting his blood on fire. But now he knew that every moment he had felt their love so did she, every time he longed to hold her she longed to be held, he now knew that his Rose loved him.

For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do
Tonight I'm gonna find a way

The Doctor stopped kissing Rose and let her forehead rest against his cheek. They were both breathing heavily now, both thinking the same thoughts. Rose looked into the Doctors eyes – a knowing glance. He took her hand a paused – a silent question. She raised their entwined hands and kissed each of his fingers, her eyes met his for a brief moment then she kissed him gently on his mouth, his question had been answered. They grinned at each other both knowing what was going to come and the Doctor slowly began to walk down the Tardis corridors, to a bedroom Rose never knew existed, to fill an empty room with emotion and love. He took her to his bedroom and opened the door, all the darkness that haunted his life escaped as the door opened and Rose stepped in, she lit up his room, his life, his heart and his world.

You can take this world away
You're everything I am
Just read the lines upon my face
I'm all about lovin' you

Rose kissed the Doctor filling his hearts with life and love, at the same time taking away the gloom and despair of his old life. For they could now start a new life – together.


Alrighty then... any thoughts? Hope you like because there's more to come ...