Sacrifice
I apologize for the relative lateness of this chapter, but among things I will discuss later, I caught a nasty cold and that pretty much drained all my energy and desire to write. It's not much of an excuse, I guess, but when all you want to do is sleep… writing isn't really that easy.
Anyhow, as I promised in the end author notes for the last chapter, from here on the storyline is going to kick in. When I first started the story, I didn't really think it would be long or particularly deep, but once I started to think things through a little bit more, I realized that there is a lot of stuff that can and perhaps needs to be written for this situation. I doubt I'll manage to touch on all of it, but just realizing this made me know that the tone of everything from here on might change dramatically.
So to be frank, I'm fairly doubtful that the rest of the story will be nearly as fluffy and humorous as the last chapter. I'm going to try to keep the tone more light, but it's bound to get more dark when Kurogane's mental conflict really starts to kick in, as well as the reactions of the other characters. I'm not going to go out of my way to make it more funny, but I'm going to try to make this not too dark and angsty either. That doesn't really seem to fit the tone of the series.
Basically, now you know that I have no idea what I'm doing. :p
Anyhow, in other news, the thank you's have been moved to the end of the chapter (because they're so bloody long), but here I must thank the benevolent beta-reader, whom without I can never get very far. Thank you, Cairnsy-san, for suffering through my madness! Everyone, please give her much love and adoration because if she wasn't there, you'd be reading… well, let's not get into that. :D
He had not been very pleased by the time he and Fai had made their way back to the others, but at least there had been no awkward questions asked. Most likely, this was due to the fact that before Syaoran could even open his mouth – as he was very clearly intending to do – Mokona chose to open his mouth, and next thing he knew, they were all hurtling through black emptiness. The dark warrior could barely make the outline of the others as the wind rushed past them, but he knew without a doubt that Fai was close on hand, probably grinning from this almost exhilarating ride. (1)
With that mental image in mind, he couldn't help but grin slightly himself – the same, wolfish smile from just that night. Leave it to Fai to try and find something amusing within this blindness; personally, Kurogane hated the transitions between the worlds, as he never knew what to expect in the next one. He never let his anxiety show up on his face, but it was still there, and it certainly made these moments a little less amusing.
But if he managed to hide all his emotions from the others, perhaps it was not such a far leap that Fai could hide his own anxieties with a grin.
The epiphany was, however, sadly lost when Kurogane suddenly found himself in the middle of an empty sky. The last thing he saw before he made the final plunge was a castle that looked like one he had seen before, and a certain blond yelling his name.
Kurogane woke up with a headache painful enough to drop a large elephant, immediately bringing back some pleasant memories of what had happened only… well, sometime before. He couldn't quite remember, as thinking was particularly hard when it felt like there was somebody beating your head repeatedly. As thinking was already difficult enough, he found it impossible to move as he simply lay on his back and stared up at an ornate ceiling that seemed oddly familiar. Before he could place it though, an equally familiar face suddenly blocked his view with an obnoxiously large smile.
"Morning, Kuro-tan!" Fai sang much too loudly, causing his head to ring. He winced, but it was ignored as the idiot continued to speak loudly. "Well, technically it is no longer morning since you have been sleeping ever since we got to this world. It's already afternoon, actually, but that's okay. How are you feeling?"
He grunted. "Like I'm going to die." And the cheery voice was certainly not helping matters. "Why does my head hurt so much?"
"Because your head is heavy."
He glared, a level three glare – five being the highest in intensity, anger, and disgust – or at least he attempted to do so through the ringing in his head. "What the hell does that have anything to do with it?"
"Well, if your head is going to be so heavy, Kuro-pipi, you're bound to land on it sooner or later when Mokona spits you out of his mouth," Fai explained in a voice that was much too logical for the words that were being spoken. "Probably it's because of all that head armor. Honestly, you should really get something for the top of your head if it's going to weigh you down like that."
"That isn't funny," he snarled, but Fai didn't appear to be listening anymore as he just continued to talk as if there was no tomorrow.
"We were pretty worried there when you wouldn't wake up. None of us could figure out why you got dropped from so high when the rest of us turned out fine, but it looks like you'll be okay. Although you did hit your head pretty hard, so you didn't get to meet those rude men holding swords at us and yelling about how we were probably the latest wave of assassins to be sent after the princess. You missed a pretty good fight then, Kuro-rin, but then again, it's probably better that you didn't because then you would have attacked all of them, and that wouldn't have looked very good when this nice woman came out and told them to stop since we don't really look like assassins. Well, maybe you do with your scary face, but since you were unconscious you weren't able to… see? You're glaring at me like that right now."
He was glaring. But then again, he was always glaring if what everyone else said was anything to judge by, and that was just something that the blond was going to have to get used to if they wanted to continue on like this. He was still hoping that they would be able to sit down and talk for a moment, especially after last night's incident and the hectic events of the morning, but he still needed to know what was happening now. There were too many gaps in the story that Fai was telling, and he had to understand the situation on hand before he could do anything else.
"Just… tell me what… happened," he muttered after a moment. Fai actually looked ready to stick his tongue out at him in a true sign of adult maturity, but somehow the mage managed to not do so. Which was probably a really good thing because despite the splitting headache that he was suffering through, he still had enough presence of mind to come up with some very dirty comments that he doubted anyone would appreciate.
"That's what I was doing until you interrupted me," the blond pointed out, trying to sound disgruntled but failing at that. Kurogane wasn't sure whether he wanted to smile slightly at the mage's antics or to change his mind about moving and do something he might regret – say, strangle the man – Fai continued brightly, "Well, after we were let into the castle, she told us to leave you in this room while she went to go speak to the princess. The others went with her to explain what was going on, and I would have gone with them but we all knew how you tend to get when you don't know what's going on. Personally, considering how expensive everything looks here, I didn't think it was a good idea to leave you alone… we really don't have enough money to pay for everything you're bound to damage, and even Sakura-chan can't manage to win all of that in such a short amount of time."
He wasn't sure if the headache was shortening his temper, or if it was just Fai. Possibly it was the combination of both, but he had a feeling that it was probably Fai, especially after his snarl of "What are you trying to say!" just made his head start ringing like mad. Fai looked incredibly amused by the grimace of pain on his face, and the blond reached over to pet him on the shoulder in what might have been a comforting gesture if it wasn't for that expression.
"You really shouldn't push yourself, Kuro-bun. Like I said before, you landed pretty hard on your head, and it's bound to hurt for a little longer. But don't worry – Souma-san said you'd probably be fine, since your head is already as hard as a rock."
He blinked at the person he had been stupid enough to fall in love with as he repeated slowly, "Sou… ma?"
He knew a Souma. But he had already met another Souma in that strange virtual reality world, and in doing so he had ended up dropping Fai in his surprise – something that he still had yet to live down, as the mage seemed to take particular pleasure out of reminding him about that completely insignificant detail. But the point was that they were bound to meet another Souma sooner or later, and the chance that it was the woman that he had come to know and somewhat trust was relatively low. He knew that, and yet he couldn't help but feel a slight jolt in the gut, as if perhaps this was finally the place he had been trying to reach all this time.
If Fai noticed his hesitation, the wizard certainly made no indication of it was he smiled widely and nodded, "Yes, Souma-san. She said she would come by later to check on you. Actually, I told her that I would get her when you chose to grace us with your sunny presence, and since you are awake and coherent enough to be glaring at me, then I should probably go get–"
Fai made a movement as if to get up, but before he could do so Kurogane's hand reached out to grab the thin wrist. The blond didn't look very surprised by the movement, although that lack of surprise was not enough to hide the small flinch from the action. Perhaps he was not surprised, but he was certainly not pleased by the motion. The ninja ignored that though, filing it away for later as he simply used the mage as a support so that he could sit up and get a better view of his surroundings. Through his swimming vision, he could see the familiar furnishings and tapestries that seemed to make his stomach drop, the physical objects that he had become so used to suddenly there again, their implications so overwhelming that it was just starting to make his head hurt even more, if that was even possible.
And beyond all of that, there was Fai's smile – one so empty that it was perhaps worse than the mysterious smile the mage wore whenever he asked about the blond's past – but he could not bring himself to say anything as he continued to stare at everything around him.
He remembered this place. He remembered every detail, and all the events that had taken place here. It was, after all, the place that he had been trying to get back to ever since this journey had started, and the place that he had unconsciously hoped for every time they had landed in a different world.
There had been a time when perhaps, he was starting to give up hope that he would ever return here. So many worlds they had visited, all so different from his, and they seemed positively endless as the hunt for Sakura's feathers continued. And slowly – subtly – they had begun to push his world out of his memory until they were the only ones he remembered… until the only memories he could bring back so clearly were the strange people they had met, and that silly, fake smile that he had promised himself he would change.
But to suddenly be back here now, among these well-known trappings that he had daydreamed about for so long, was strange to say the least.
It was strange, perhaps, because there was someone who was out of place, someone who did not really belong here.
… Fai. Fai, the person he could just barely admit to loving, was the one who was out of place. All those other worlds they had visited – none of them had really been his. But here, in a world where there had never been the blond, it was almost hard for him to accept that the wizard was here too, as if it was some type of strange intrusion into his personal life.
Except that shouldn't make sense because Fai was a part of his life now, a component that he would feel equally strange without. And yet these feelings of the two parts of him that until now had remained separate finally coming together; they did not come together smoothly as much as clash, as if they could no longer coexist with one another.
He didn't know what to make of that, although he knew that he did not like it.
Kurogane's grip on Fai's wrist had grown slack, and as the mage got up, he had the audacity to grin. It didn't erase the bags around the soft blue eyes, or the tired countenance, and served only to make him look quite… sad, and perhaps almost pitiful.
"I'll go get Souma-san, as she looked like she would be rather short-tempered with me if I kept you two apart any longer. And then someone should probably inform Daidouji-hime (2) that you are well – I heard that she was really quite worried about you for a moment there, although it's hard to tell because she was fawning all over Sakura-chan."
He didn't move as Fai walked away, and it was only when the mage was almost out the door that he finally found his voice again.
"… oy."
Fai paused for a moment, and before he could really say all the things that needed to be said, the mage interrupted him, never even turning around to face him even with those next few words.
"You're in your original place, aren't you? That's what you wanted from the very beginning."
Yes. Yes, he found himself nodding almost mechanically, because now he was back to where he had started… back where he belonged. He doubted it was something Fai would understand, especially since the wizard obviously didn't have enough attachment to the place where he had come from if he had been able to give it up so easily.
He regretted those words the moment he thought them. Even if they had begun to develop a relationship, at the moment it was tentative at best and he knew little about the mage. He didn't have any right to go about thinking about him in such a manner, especially since Fai had made it perfectly clear that even though he had left, someone he was trying to get away from might just go on after him…
But still, how could he just give his world up like that? Didn't it mean more to him, or was the concept of an original place just a piece of land that meant nothing more than just that?
It was just one of the areas they differed in, one of the many areas.
Apparently Fai had decided that nothing more was going to be – or perhaps needed to be – said because the blond had already turned and walked away. He could hear the mage's light footsteps echoing down the hallway, but all too soon they had faded away into nothing.
"So it really is you." (3)
She sounded almost disgruntled, but he knew she didn't really mean it. Sure, maybe she was always yelling at him to be more polite and respectful towards the princess, but when they were alone, she wasn't nearly as strict as she tried to be when they were in public. It was something he had always complained about, but it never seemed to change anything, much to his annoyance.
He rewarded her with a grunt, "Nice to see you too, Souma."
"Nobody thought you would ever be back, you know."
He smirked slightly at the statement, trying not to reveal that he had started to share those same concerns only a few days ago. "Well, you know me. I never was one for letting other people's expectations get the better of me." He raised an eyebrow and gave her a cursory inspection, as if unconcerned by the fact that it really was her, and not some… other copy. "That includes you, as you already know."
"I do. Who better than me?" A pause as they looked at each other, and he was reminded of the first time they had met. It hadn't been a very good introductory meeting, and their relationship had been rocky for quite a while. It was a wonder that they had been able to stand each other long enough to reach an understanding, let alone to become as close as they were now. But they had managed it, perhaps in the same way Fai had managed to worm into his life despite his very best attempts not to let the mage affect him.
Finally, growing weary of the silence, she continued hesitantly, as if unsure of what to talk about now that they were finally face to face again, "Your friends have been telling Daidouji-hime and me about your journey."
"They're not friends." The words came out so automatically, although a small part of him flinched at that. But returning here, he couldn't help but remember that this was a place where people were a weakness because they could disappear, and you'd find a part of yourself disappearing along with them. He'd never had that worry in any of the other worlds, but here that lesson had been ground into him one too many times, and he felt almost reluctant to admit that those people he traveled with had become closer than he would allow most people to be, despite his very best intentions.
"Ah, that's true." She smiled mischievously, as if enjoying a private joke at his expense. "They're your companions now, aren't they? Or the cause that Daidouji-hime wanted you to find for yourself."
He growled softly, but that didn't stop her from continuing with slightly twinkling eyes, "And perhaps they are a bit more than that, hmm? Especially if one was to take into consideration the way that golden-haired one(4) was hovering over you… he's a bit strange, isn't he?"
"A bit?" he ground out. He couldn't help but admire how she had quickly transitioned from one topic to another, but it annoyed him nevertheless. Still, his raging headache prevented him from getting up to hurt her, as any attempt to stand would have to be done slowly and carefully, something that most certainly would have betrayed his weakness. Remaining seated, at least, could give off an air of grumpish willfulness, although he wasn't quite sure why he was not willing to admit to her his own mortality. She had been one of the few people he had trusted in this world and the next, but still that was nowhere near enough to warrant him exposing everything about himself to her.
Which really made his inner voice wonder how he could ever expect Fai to do the same for him.
"Well, I never really thought he would be your type…" Souma paused, and he rolled his eyes. He had never really imagined the female warrior to be interested in his love life – especially since he had never had anything that came remotely close to such a thing the last time he was here – but he supposed that Tomoyo might be a negative influence on Souma's rational behavior, considering how the princess was a conniving matchmaker who would do everything in her power to forward a relationship. But then when she looked at him, a thoughtful expression on her face… the same exact expression Tomoyo had when she had sent him on that bloody trip in the first place, he knew that he was doomed and that he should probably look into an escape plan before the hour was through. "Do you feel the same way for him?"
He eyed her, as if fully expecting her to break into the 'ohohoho' cackle that Tomoyo practiced with ease. He wouldn't have been that surprised, but it wouldn't stop him from trying to hide under the blankets anyway. Anyhow, even though their relationship was pretty much out in the open with Syaoran, Sakura, and that stupid white manju bun, it didn't mean he wanted the others to know it too. Not if he could help it, anyway. "What makes you think he feels anything for me, anyway?"
"Come on, Kurogane. It was kind of obvious," she grinned slightly. "I mean, after all, he has been watching you for over a day now… you hit your head pretty hard, you know." As if to emphasize the point, she reached over to touch the nasty bruise on his head. "Kami (5), that doesn't look good."
"Don't touch me," he snarled as he swatted her hand away before narrowing his eyes slightly in order to get a better look at her. "And what do you mean a day? We've only been here for a couple of days."
It wasn't supposed to be a statement open to interpretation, but she raised an eyebrow in response to his presumptions. "Is that what he told you? You really shouldn't believe everything people say, especially when someone smiles like that. Isn't that what you used to tell me all the time?"
The slight jab made him growl, but it was really just an excuse to give him a moment to digest that piece of information. After a moment, he just continued to stare at her and asked flatly, as if to make sure that she wasn't joking, "A day."
"One day. More, since technically it was yesterday morning that you guys appeared on our doorstep. Caused a bit of a shock to the guards, you do realize."
"A day," he repeated again.
She smiled slightly, "Did the fall make you go deaf, Kurogane? Or do you just not want to believe what is right in front of you?"
He chose not to reply to that, instead trying to think through the situation. He supposed he shouldn't be that surprised with the omission of the truth, especially coming from Fai, but this wasn't exactly the type of thing people preferred to lie about. It was just odd, no matter how he tried to look at it, and trying to figure it all out just made his head hurt even more. After a moment, he groaned and fell back, muttering, "I'm never going to understand that guy."
She sat down next to him, smiling slightly, "Like I said, he's a bit strange." A pause. "I like him though."
"I thought you said he spent the entire day here," he accused, feeling a bit more annoyed than he probably should have. If that was true, then she wouldn't have had any opportunity to speak to him, and if it wasn't, then it meant that there was another lie he was going to have to deal with. He didn't like it when people lied, although some would say that avoiding the truth wasn't technically a lie. He didn't care – whether it was an outright lie or lying by omission, it wasn't true and he didn't have the patience to deal with it. He wanted reality, without all those little games that the nobles liked to play. It was tiring and took valuable time, time that could cost somebody a life. He'd seen it before one too many times, and he never wanted to see it again.
"I did." She smiled, "And that's what I like about him."
He didn't have any response to that. Which, he later concluded, was probably for the best because before he could blink, he could hear a dreaded voice singing from the distance, "Kuro-wan!"
"Don't call me that!" he roared automatically, but it was lost when Fai shot out of the hallway to attach himself to the warrior like a deranged vampire intent on hugging him to death during the blood sucking. And even above the mage's contented purring, he could hear the distinct sound of an attempt at laughter being stifled, something that made Souma sound like she was choking.
"Did you miss me?" The cheerful question was accompanied by a round of affectionate face nuzzling, and he could feel a distinct vein throb developing on his forehead. One never would have guessed that the blond had walked out on him a mere hour ago, but then again, he supposed no one could even attempt to think that there were problems under that cheerful exterior.
"You're the one who walked out on me," he reminded, but if he was expecting some apology, he was sorely disappointed when Fai just seemed to tighten his grip. Before he could blink, he found himself toppling over when the mage happily decided to wrap those too long legs around his torso too, causing him to lose his balance and fall over into a messy heap.
"But I had to get food for the invalid!"
Souma was outright laughing now, not even attempting to hide it.
"I am not an invalid!"
"Yes you are! You're my own special patient!" As if to emphasize the point, Fai untangled his arms just long enough to come back with a plate of food from only god knows where. "See? You need to eat if you're going to keep up your strength… who's going to chase me around with your big, bad sword if you don't?"
Speaking of which, he wondered where his sword was. (6) He really needed it right now to kill some people, curse or no curse. But when he opened his mouth to ask – or really, demand – Fai just took the opportunity to stick something in his mouth, nearly causing him to choke.
Ignoring the coughing fit he had just given his somewhat boyfriend, Fai peered curiously down at the food while using the chopsticks to stab at another piece of fish. "I wonder why so many countries use these things… they're not exactly the easiest things to eat with (7), don't you think?"
"Idiot! You nearly killed me and all you can think about are chopsticks!"
"Don't be silly, Kuro-poppo! It will take a lot more than that to kill you, I'm sure! But now be a good boy and eat this, or I'll tell Daidouji-hime about that time you dropped me on my head in Outo country." (8)
He opened his mouth to protest. "I didn't do it on-" But before he could finish the last word, Fai had shoved a vegetable into his mouth whilst singing, "Eat up, eat up!"
"Get away from me!" he yelled through the food.
"Don't talk with your mouth full. It's rude!"
Headache or no, love interest or not, he was not about to let Fai get away with that. But when he tried to crawl away to grab at something hard and death-inducing, he discovered that it was rather difficult to move when there was a certain mage wrapped around him like a demented octopus.
There was a short laugh, and a new voice called out, "Oh, you've already started without us?"
The octopus waved an evil tentacle, "Hai, Daidouji-hime!"
Kurogane let out a groan. As if it wasn't already embarrassing enough to let the princess see him without his usual armor and weaponry – especially after their last encounter – now he had this… this… idiot wrapped around him obsessively. One would think that Fai was worried about him disappearing or something….
Or something.
"Kurogane-san, are you okay?" Sakura rushed into the room to kneel down next to him, setting down her tray of food in order to try to help him back into a sitting position. The kid quickly joined her, and together they managed to somehow lug the warrior upright, Fai or no Fai.
"We're sorry we didn't come to see you earlier… we were explaining to Daidouji-hime everything, and then…" Syaoran started, but Kurogane waved him quiet.
"It would have been pointless to see somebody who wasn't awake, right?"
He had not meant for it to be rude, but it came out that way regardless. And he wasn't trying to be rude either – it was just that… he was finding it difficult to figure everything out. He wanted to be left alone, to contemplate this mess or perhaps to speak to Tomoyo about why she had done any of this, and why she just walked in here with the others like it was the most natural thing in the world. His princess had always been a strange person, but the way she manipulated everything around her was amazing, and it frustrated him that even now, she had come in at the exact moment when he could do nothing to… say something to her, at the very least. Except he wasn't really sure what he would want to say to her, or if he wanted to say anything at all. It was hard for him to figure out exactly how he would have reacted in any other situation, rather than being distracted by the others as he was now.
Although he supposed that it might have been for the better. Princess or not, he had sent her on this journey and inadvertently exposed him to somebody he would never had contact with otherwise, and that warranted a severe beating.
Both of their younger companions looked slightly taken aback by that statement, but Syaoran finally nodded in agreement as the two took their respective trays and got into a more comfortable position. Before anyone could protest, Tomoyo joined them, seating herself down next to Sakura, a large smile decorating her face as if challenging anyone to object to her decision. Souma looked slightly put out although she didn't say anything, but she did give a visible wince when Mokona jumped into Tomoyo's lap.
"I'm glad you are back, Kurogane." Tomoyo was giving him a calculating look, one that he did not like, although he did give a sigh of relief when Fai finally unattached himself in order to sit on the rumpled futon. "I thought we would celebrate your return by having dinner together."
"You're the one who sent me off in the first place."
"Kurogane!" Souma barked. "Don't say that type of thing to the princess!"
He rolled his eyes, "Doesn't change the facts, Souma."
"Kurogane!"
"It's fine, Souma," Tomoyo cut in quickly. "Kurogane is obviously still recovering, and so his temper is bound to be a little short."
"Recovering!"
"I told you you're an invalid…."
"I am not an invalid!"
"Patience, Kuro-pi." And again, before there could be any response to that, Fai shoved some more food into his mouth, leaving him to chew as the blond turned to the others. "Daidouji-hime, Sakura-chan tells me that you wanted her to do some modeling for you?"
"Oh yes!" One princess was visibly sparkling now, while the other just flushed pink from embarrassment. "Sakura-chan is so cute, and I would love to try some of my designs on her. It's been so long since someone as cute as her came along, and I want to take advantage of this situation. Plus we will have to call in the painters and make sure that we commemorate these moments, and of course I would like to have Sakura-chan involved in all of them!"
He could feel a distinct vein throb developing. Tomoyo always did have a strange interest in design, especially for a princess who was usually considered too high class to be doing such things, and that was one of the many things he sincerely wished would go away. Too often he had been the victim of her… skewed fashion sense, and rarely did that come out with pleasant results.
"Tomoyo-chan…" Sakura laughed nervously as she glanced at the others worriedly. "Really, you don't have to–"
"But I want to! You're Sakura-chan!" (9)
Kurogane opened his mouth, not exactly sure of what he was going to say but certain that he would figure something out soon, but Fai just casually shut him up by sticking something else into his mouth. And that was how it ended up going for the rest of the night – he wasn't quite sure how the mage could predict every time he tried to say something, but he did, and the ninja didn't manage to get another word in edgewise for the duration of the conversation.
Looking at Fai and that smile, he never would have thought anything of it as they all watched Tomoyo fawn over Sakura, much to the brunette's embarrassment and Syaoran's dismay. But those eyes didn't contain the same goofiness as the smile… instead, they seemed distant, as if he was thinking about something that he was trying to keep to himself.
Kurogane certainly didn't think that should have been an excuse for shutting him up, and he had a feeling that it wasn't. There was something else going on here, something that the blond didn't want to talk about just yet. And obviously, anything he had to say would just interfere with the thought process.
If anyone else noticed the strange silence, they didn't say anything. Probably they were too wrapped up in Tomoyo's antics, although he knew that Souma was more perceptive than that, and not to mention Tomoyo herself. Syaoran too, and most likely the white puffball (much to his annoyance). Only Sakura would not notice, and even that wasn't certain – despite her loss of memories, the sweet brunette continued to be oddly perceptive on matters such as this. (10)
He frowned as they began to clean up the dishes, although he was more than a little relieved that Fai didn't have anything else to shut him up. And he wasn't surprised to see Tomoyo watching him, the only other person not tidying up as Souma had volunteered to take the princess's empty plates to the servants rather than letting her do it herself.
"Welcome home, Kurogane." Her words were quiet and obviously meant only for him. He grunted.
"No thanks to you."
"It was time. And as you can see, castle Shirasaji is still standing; we were fine."
"That's not the point."
"Silly Kurogane." He glared at her, but she ignored it, instead standing up. The rustle of fabric barely allowed him to hear her next words, and he later wondered if that had been the point.
"But will the others be fine without you?"
He found himself up and out of the room as soon as he felt comfortable walking. The guards all backed away from him when he approached them, but he didn't care as he boldly walked up to each and every one of them, demanding to know where the others were. Most of them had no idea, and the few that did couldn't tell him which room Fai was in. That was something he had to know, as it wouldn't exactly be appropriate for him to go barging into… say, Sakura's room. Souma would really hurt him then, and Syaoran too no doubt.
And probably Fai, Mokona, Yuuko, and the rest of the crazy people who had met Sakura. She had that effect on people, and it was something Fai might have had if he wasn't so laden with secrets.
Of course, that wasn't the point right now. He had to find Fai, after all.
A servant finally managed to tell him which room the mage was situated in, and he listened with half an ear as she gushed over how pretty his hair was. Fai would have liked to hear that, but Kurogane just found it rather ridiculous and he let her know that with a curt thanks and a quick departure. It was already growing late, and the blond slept like a rock. He also tended to be completely incoherent when one tried to talk to him before he was fully awake, and the ninja couldn't exactly have that when he needed to have a grownup conversation with his… lover.
The door was not locked, as Fai was nowhere near as touchy as Kurogane was. The room was already dark, but he didn't need to concentrate too hard to figure out where the mage was, drawn by the sound of soft breathing. He made his way over to where the futon was and after a split-second hesitation, sat down next to him.
"… you better not be wearing your armor…" Fai slurred slightly, turning around to look at him. He couldn't see, but he could just imagine those large blue eyes blinking slowly, although he was surprised that the mage had woken up. Usually the blond could sleep through everything, but apparently tonight was going to be a different story.
"I'm not." Kurogane couldn't help but feel slightly pleased when Fai laid one warm hand on his hand, although that did not deter him. "We need to talk."
"We do," Fai yawned. "How on earth do you manage to sleep on the floor?"
"Huh?"
"These futons aren't really enough… the floor is hard. I couldn't sleep last time when we were in Hanshin, but I seem to recall that you managed it…?"
He shrugged, slightly annoyed at the pointless questions, "It's just something you get used to. I've slept on the floor for all of my life, you know."
"Well, I haven't." He could hear the mock-pout, although it was a sleepy one. That made him smirk slightly, as a sleepy mock-pout was certainly an amusing sight.
Then Kurogane shook his head, just knowing that there was no way they would be able to have a coherent conversation now. But maybe he had already known that when he first started his search because he didn't feel all too disappointed by that fact. Instead, he felt almost… relieved that it could be put off until the next day, although he was pretty sure that wasn't the reaction he was supposed to be having.
But then again, 'supposed to' had died out a long time ago.
Sighing, the ninja surrendered to his emotions and gently shoved at his lover, "Move over."
"Nyaan?" Fai asked, although he immediately obeyed, scooting over so that there was enough room for the ninja to sleep next to him. And as soon as that was done, Kurogane lay himself down, grabbing the blankets and covering himself up without even a word of thanks.
For a moment, they lay there, Fai's hand still resting in his as they slowly adjusted to the other's presence.
"But Kuro-tan, it's still uncomfortable."
He grunted, not even cracking open an eye to look at Fai – or in the mage's general direction, anyway. "Just shut up and go to sleep."
"You're so mean."
Commentary:
(1) Well, Fai always looks like he's having a lot more fun than the others whenever they're dumped into the next world, although that might be attributed to the idea that he's one world farther from Ashura-ou. But still, he always does look like he's just gotten off a roller coaster while the others are just pretty dazed, and it amuses me greatly (well, a lot of things amuse me, but anyway).
(2) As most of you know, Tomoyo's last name in Cardcaptor Sakura is Daidouji. As I'm really rather uncreative, I'm just going to use that for her last name in this world as well.
(3) I know nothing about Souma, beyond what is shown of her in Tsubasa. I apologize for completely screwing with her personality, but while that annoys me a lot, I've spent a horrid amount of time kicking myself for it. That's something that I can't really afford, especially since it's so completely pointless, and so I apologize and that is that.
(4) I doubt they had any blonds back in Japan, so I figure that Fai would be a bit of a… oddity, there. And going from the theory that they've never seen a blond before, I doubt they'd have a word for it. :)
(5) Kami – god. Or hair. Or paper. But yeah. God.
(6) And no not that one!
(7) Reason number 59 that we love Fai – when he's eating, I know I'm not the only person who doesn't use chopsticks. XP
(8) Volumes… five through seven, I think, took place in a world called Outo. Fai injures his foot and Kurogane has to carry him back, but ends up dropping the poor guy when he gets surprised. (innocent giggle)
(9) For the fans of CCS, this doesn't really need much explanation, but for those who aren't, Tomoyo and Sakura were best friends in Cardcaptor Sakura. In fact, Tomoyo seems to have more than just friendly feelings for Sakura, although she always just says that she wants Sakura to be happy with the person she loves, even if that person isn't her. Throughout the series, Sakura also ends up being Tomoyo's model – Tomoyo designs all her card capturing outfits, and loves to videotape her when she's in action. I wanted to bring some of that relationship into this, although it's probably unexpected to those who haven't read CCS. Also, in addition to that, I'm letting Sakura call Tomoyo by first name and –chan, probably because Tomoyo insisted and technically, as they are both princesses, Sakura is probably the only person who would be allowed to be that casual, although it's still a bit of a stretch.
(10) You can argue with me that Sakura isn't really that perceptive, especially since she can't figure out how Syaoran loves her until he tells her in CCS. But I say she is. I don't think she always understands it, but she did figure out who Yukito was in love with when he rejected her, and she sensed how much Yue cared for Clow despite the fact that Mr. Angel is rather lacking in the emotion department (and manners too).
And in the next chapter, the search for the feather begins, and Kuro-pipi asks finally manages to pin (no, not literally, although now the thought is tempting… pin down and ravish! Kyah! Let me swoon from the mental image!) Fai down long enough to have the grown up conversation. Several of them even, perhaps!
In the not so incredibly random portion of the notes, I don't know how long it will take for me to write the next chapter. For the next three weeks, I have midterms and essays due, and I think spring break starts shortly after. Usually this isn't much of a concern writing-wise (as I can always stick it in somehow… don't ask me how!), but I do have two essays and a midterm in one week (my teachers hate me! Weep!), so yes. No idea whatsoever when the next chapter is coming out. Pretty much the only thing I'm somewhat certain about is that Fai might be the narrator this time (see how certain I am?).
In the incredibly random portion of the notes, for those of you who have seen the scans for chapter 61, Fai-san sparkles when he's shooting arrows. It is so incredibly sexy. :D
For those of you who have had the misfortune of suffering through my Yu-gi-oh! stories, what comes now if my infamous thank you section that can become very long and incredibly boring. This time, this has both reviewers and those who reviewed through the Kuro x Fai community. Thank you to all, and I apologize for the length of this bloody thing!
Sozuki – Well, actually this collection is a little bigger than I had expected (or smaller, until I realized that Tsubasa doesn't even have its own section), and there are truly some great fics in here. :p I'm just happy to contribute a little, especially since this is such a fluff-worthy coupling that's still filled with lots and lots of angst. All covered up by banter. What better relationship is there? Besides, unlike most couplings, I don't have to spend page after page after page explaining why I think they go well together. They do go well together, end of story, and let's now all go get drunk:D
Sailor Comet – Didn't you know that Fai has a magical power of… switching places? He wanted to be seme, damn it! Screw the height rule! (Sorry… I finally read your icon and practically keeled over laughing… never a good thing to do when your roommates are in your room, I think.) But otherwise, yeah… that is a bit of a mix-up. I'm surprised it didn't get caught by… somebody. Maybe he got… shoved away. Yes. And I'm sending the seals of death after you still. Bwaha!
Somnorexic – Well, first you take a couple of hallucinogens and then start concentrating very hard on it, and then you write it down, turn it into a fanfic, and spread the love around! Until you get arrested, that is, so probably not a good idea to try that. ;p But to really answer your question, I have no idea. I'm usually a 'Can I see the character doing that?' but this time, it was more of a matter of, 'Can I see this happening in the series?' because in the end, it really involved three characters rather than two. The Kurogane x Fai stuff was a cakewalk compared to Mokona's little observations, but I'm glad that it all worked out in the end. :)
Etrangere – It was, wasn't it? Not our fault, of course, that Kuro-tan and Fai are just so easily… let's stick them together and traumatize everyone else:D
tenshiforgotten – Thankies! Gyah, sorry I don't have more to say. Brain is totally non-functioning right now (but that's nothing new!).
s n u c k – Well, I hope I can manage to keep them in-character for the rest of the story. I was somewhat worried that Kuro-tan would get a tad out of character during his little introspection part, but apparently it worked out for the better so I'm glad. :D
KakashiLvr –Soft? Maybe Fai's a bit soft, but with his armor, I imagine that Kuro-tan's as hard (and hard-headed) as the crab he was fighting against. XP
Tokki-tsu – Well, I'm expecting it sooner or later at least. Although I doubt CLAMP is going to listen to me about that… but it would be nice if it happens, right? Let us start a letter-writing campaign:D
Ali-san – Ali-san-san! XD Sorry… it's a bit of a joke. I had a friend who's penname was Neko-chan, and people would call her Neko-chan-sama. I called her Neko-chan-chan (before I added a –baka there), but there you go! I'm obviously not a very kind person. :p Anyhow, I was surprised nobody had ever written about this idea. The idea that the group would end up in their former worlds is hinted at in the beginning, and there's so much you can write about for them when it does happen. :D But yes, that babble was pointless. Thank you for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and hope sincerely that you enjoy the rest. :)
StormySkys – It's a very addicting couple, both to read and write. X.x And I'm supposed to be studying! But anyhow, glad you enjoyed:D
sugahcat – I'm beginning to think that everyone's come up with this idea sooner or later… and I'm surprised I ended up being the one to write it first considering I just got into this fandom relatively late. Like… December. Against my will too. (grin) I just hope I do it justice, so thanks for giving me a chance:3
Sarehptar – Well, sadly it's no longer going to be a half. More like… ninety percent of the story length. X.x;; I really should have attempted to organize this story a little better because I think people were expecting something more quick, and now I'm just dragging it on even longer. Hopefully no one gets too annoyed. And glad you like the link:D I know I nearly burst into tears of joy when I found it… :P
Animegoil – Well, I think the character issues started popping up a lot more in this chapter, as it's just a part of them that has to be dealt with in any relationship. Since the first chapter was mainly fluff I thought it would be best to just focus on that more, but as the storyline actually starts it needs to come out a bit. Sorry about that!
maboroshi hime – Fai's a bit of a brat, huh? Poor Kuro-tan… I'm not sure how he's going to manage dealing with the little wisecrack.
Ranma Higurashi – Kyah! I'll do my best!
Double – That's because when you try to make him cute, he attempts to eat you. (Shiver!)
Turntable Aurora – More has been written:D
deathzero5 – This coupling just works so well for fluff, don't you think? It's just so natural that it's like, 'whee!' Easy to extend upon what is already in the manga, and maybe that's what makes it so much easier (and so much cuter!).
dcstolstice – And of course, we know Kuro-tan's opinion doesn't matter nearly as much as Fai's, as Fai is the one who pulls the strings. ;p
Thanks everyone!
PM (2-22-05)
