The five of us spend the night at Padmé's home. She and our children talk endlessly over dinner. Padmé seems almost like her old self again when in the presence of her beloved twins; as though the piece of her that has been missing all these years has grown back, leaving her whole once more.
Han and Chewbacca have decided that they will leave in the morning, promising to return in a few days' time, and so have retired early, leaving the four of us alone.
We have adjourned to a large, comfortable sitting room, where Luke and Leia are taking turns asking Padmé questions and telling her stories about their own lives. There is so much to say, so much time to make up for; and the three of them seem bent on cramming it all in this very night. I watch them, listening for the most part. Every so often one of my children asks me a question, or directs a comment my way, as though making sure I know that they are including me in the conversation. And while I appreciate their efforts, I know that it is their mother who has the floor. They have had weeks with me, months even; and my story has been told to both of them. Most of it, at least; but hers is still largely untold, and they seem determined to learn all there is to know of her, even if it means staying up all night to do so.
Finally the conversation begins to wane, as fatigue sets in. I estimate that it is several hours past midnight.
"I think we should all get some sleep," suggests Padmé as she stands up. "I can't believe how late it's become."
Luke and Leia stand up to join her. "I completely lost track of the time," admits Leia. "It seems like just a little while ago that Han said good night to us."
Luke checks his wrist chrono. "Well, it's more like 4 hours ago," he tells his sister.
I stand up at this point. "It has been a long day," I say. "And having had no sleep does tend to catch up with you."
"You didn't sleep last night at all?" asks Luke.
I shake my head, stifling a yawn. "No, not a wink."
"Well let me show you all to your rooms," says Padmé. "It's not exactly palatial, but I think you'll be comfortable here."
Let me show you all to your rooms…obviously I am included in that... though I suppose I can't expect anything different. Even though technically Padmé is my wife, I doubt she would even think of sharing her bed with me. I hold a small yet fervent hope that this will change. Just being around her again has been exhilarating, reawakening in me all those feelings I had learned to repress for so many year when I lived in Darkness as Darth Vader.
We follow Padmé back up the narrow staircase to the second floor. "I'm afraid you two will have to share a room," she tells Luke and I. "There aren't enough extra bedrooms for each of you to have one."
"We don't mind, do we Father?" Luke replies.
"Not at all," I tell him with a smile.
"Good," Padmé says. She opens a door to a small but comfortable looking room. "I hope you sleep well."
"Thank you Mother," says Luke, as he gives her a kiss on the cheek. Padmé smiles at him, and puts her arms around him.
"Good night Luke," she says softly, kissing his cheek. She releases him and for a moment is face to face with me. We look at one another wordlessly, and in her eyes I see a jumble of emotions all vying for supremacy. Is there still a part of her that loves me? I wonder, searching her dark eyes for the Padmé I once knew. She looks away, as though she knows what I am thinking and turns to Leia.
"This way, Leia," she tells our daughter, and walks to the doorway. I follow her with my eyes.
"Good night, Padmé," I call after her. She stops and turns to face me again.
"Goodnight," she replies. "I hope you sleep well," she adds somewhat formally.
I merely smile in response, and then watch as she disappears with Leia down the corridor. I sigh deeply, and turn to see my son flaked out on the bed, his face half hidden by the soft pillow his head is resting on. I smile, amazed at his propensity for falling asleep so quickly. He didn't get that from me… I muse as I pull a blanket up over his shoulders. I watch him sleep for a moment, wishing fervently for an instant that I had been able to do so 20 years ago, when he was a baby; but that chance was lost, and I must put the regret and pain of those lost years behind me. I bend down and kiss my son as he sleeps. "Good night Luke," I tell him softly. "I love you."
I stand up and walk to the other bed, sitting down on the edge of it. Suddenly I am aware of someone watching me, and I look up quickly to see Padmé standing in the doorway. Her face bears an expression of surprise; her eyes seem softer than they were mere minutes ago. Was she there a moment ago to watch me tuck our grown son in and kiss him goodnight? Part of me hopes she was. She says nothing, and then turns and disappears again, leaving me puzzled and yet oddly hopeful by the strange encounter.
I pull off my boots, remove my tunic and lie back on the small bed. Using the Force, I turn off the light, and try my best to sleep. So much has transpired today though; I know it will be a struggle to quiet my mind enough to drift off. I have never been good at meditation, a skill I wish right now that I had mastered. Obi-Wan never had trouble sleeping- no matter where we were, how noisy, how uncomfortable, he could meditate himself into a deep slumber within minutes. Me, I'm a tosser and a turner. Always have been, probably always will be. With a loud sigh I turn onto my side, close my eyes, and hope for the best.
