Title: Two Hundred Too Many

Spoilers: "200" (Season 10)


"YOU HAVE TO FIX IT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN'T !" Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell stood in the briefing room, staring daggers at Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter.

"I'm sorry, Colonel; there's nothing I can do until SG5 returns with the necessary parts I need to fix the Stargate. You're just going to have to wait a few weeks."

" 'a few weeks!' But the 200th trip through that Stargate is scheduled for—" he looked down at his watch, "SEVEN MINUTES AGO!"

"You heard the Colonel, Mitchell," General Landry stated firmly. "Your trip has merely been postponed. And you can think of the coming weeks as a time to catch up on some paperwork," he hinted, not so subtly.

"Yeah, more like football…" Cameron sat, sulking.

"Dismissed," called Landry, ignoring Mitchell's comment.

"Really, Cameron. I'm sorry," Carter apologized again once Landry had retreated into his office.

"Easy for you to say… you weren't even going to come!" he continued to sulk.

"Aw come on, I have plans this weekend… "

"OoOoOOoh, Sam's got pla-a-ans…!" Daniel teased.

She tried but failed miserably to repress a smile, "Well now we can all have a nice, relaxing weekend; we deserve a break! I mean with the Or—"

"I just got a call from the Pentagon!" General Landry suddenly came into the room where SG1 was still sitting, blushing, or otherwise sulking…

"They had the parts Fed-Exed and we can leave in the morning?" Mitchell suggested hopefully.

"No." Landry rolled his eyes. "You have an assignment."

"Assignment?" Vala spoke for the first time.

"Yes, an assignment. A few years ago, the alien Martin Lloyd decided to produce a television show based on his sub-conscious knowledge of the Stargate program."

"Goodbye weekend…" Carter put her head in her hands.

"Ooooh no…" Daniel Jackson started banging his head on the briefing room table.

"Oooh yes, Doctor Jackson. Wormhole X-treme is back and as unflattering as ever… In feature-film length."

"You can't be serious."

"I wish I wasn't, Colonel Carter. However, Mr. Lloyd has enlisted our help in the project as Air Force consultants and the Pentagon feels this would be a chance to get a good cover story public."

"Um…Is it really necessary that all of us be involved? I mean–"

"Sorry Colonel, but I have my orders and you have yours. The Pentagon insists the writing be done as soon as possible."

"Writing?" they all asked simultaneously.

"Oh yes… writing..."


TO BE CONTINUED! D