AUTHORS NOTE:
Hi peoples! Okay, let me tell you something. I actually did not mean to update this at right now. But then I was playing tennis and I had an idea (actually, two ideas) for this story and right now I'm going to post one of the ideas. So, Jamie Love, just letting you know, I was going to update Reality TV: Lower Elements Style before I did this one (either this weekend or next weekend) but, you know, I got side tracked. Sorry! You can read the full list of all of my excuses for not updating… when I update. Yay!
The Sketch Show
Number Four: Love
Police Plaza, Modified Crunchball Courts (Now known as tennis courts)
The Council had decided the Police force needed to become more of a team. You know, fostering trust speeds communication. Standard operating procedure. Unfortunatly, this meant the officers actually had to trust each other. So, they were divided into teams, spent a day and a half practicing trust exercises (it would have been longer, however the exercises came to an abrupt halt when Grub Kelp became so engrossed in examining his nails for imperfections he was crushed by the falling Foaly he was supposed to be catching. Neither of them were seriously hurt.) then had a tennis tornament against the other teams. Which is what they were in the middle of now.
"Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Faustina?" Someone tapped Holly Short on the shoulder. She groaned. And turned around.
"Yeah. Yeah, my name's Faustina, Chix. Get the hell away from me if I'm wrong, but is your name Charles?"
Chix Verbil looked faintly disappointed that Holly had not fallen for his latest attempt to get her to go out with him. "Hey, I'm your next tennis opponent. Wanna play?"
Holly scowled, noting the way he raised his eyebrows when saying the word 'play'. "Let's get this over with. Quickly." She grabbed a racquet. "I'll serve first."
Chix nodded. "Whatever you say, baby."
Holly chose to ignore this remark, on the grounds she would hit the ball as hard as possible towards him.
Holly served, the ball sailing smoothly over the net. Chix hit the ball back and she sprung forward and slammed it into the far corner of the court.
"Yes!" she yelled. "15 – Love."
Chix raised an eyebrow. "Did you just call me love, love?"
Holly frowned. "No!"
"Are you sure? Cos I defiantly heard-"
Holly served again, fast and hard. By the time Chix took his eyes off her, the ball was about to hit him. He sprang back, letting the ball go past.
"30 – Love."
"There!" Chix shouted. "You did it again! You know you love me!"
Holly kicked her racquet impatiently. "I did NOT just call you 'love'."
"You did it again!" Chix teased.
"I did not!"
"Don't hide your true feelings, Holly."
Holly kicked her racquet, angrily. "Just give me the ball," she said through gritted teeth. He did. She served. She won the point.
"40 – Love."
"You did it again!"
"I DID NOT! This is just the way tennis is scored!"
"Oh, yes. In tennis it is necessary to call your opponent 'love' after every point."
"What? It it!"
Chix jerked his head towards the court next to him, where Commander Root and Trouble Kelp were playing tennis. "You don't hear them calling each other 'love'."
"That's because the score is thirty – fourty!"
"Well, our score is fourty – zero!"
"LOVE IS THE WORD FOR ZERO IN TENNIS!" Holly breathed hard through her nose. She needed to get out more – she was getting more like Commander Root each second. And someone else had noticed.
"Calm down, Holly! You're starting to sound like Julius!" It was Foaly, wearing a tennis visor jauntily placed over his foil hat. "I'm collecting the scores. Then I'll put them into a scoring program exclusively designed by yours truly, which will deduce the winner by adding up the scores, finding the-"
"We haven't finished playing yet-"
"Guess what?" Chix leaned closer to Foaly. "Holly is hot for me!"
Foaly smiled. "Wo-o-o-o-h!" (AN: This is a noise my friend makes during movies when people kiss. It is like a wolf whistle.)
"I am not! He just thinks that because the score is 40 – Love."
"Hey! You just called me 'Love'!" It seemed Foaly did not know much about tennis.
"I DID NOT! IT'S JUST THE WAY THE GAME IS SCORED!"
"Whatever. Can you just continue playing. I sort of need to get this score down. Otherwise the program will be unable to calculate the-"
Holly stopped listening. She threw the ball into the air and served. A little bit harder than nescesary. "Game."
Chix lay on his back looking at the celing. It was not the first time he had ended up like this on one of his quests to impress the ladies. Unfortunatly, this did not stop the embarrassment.
As part of the rules of the team competition, the officers played one game against each person from the other teams. Holly was playing against Commander Root. She deeply hoped there would be no confusion over what the score meant. Meanwhile, Chix was playing against Lili Frond. She served. Two faults.
"Love – 15." She said.
Chix looked up hurridly. "Did you just call me 'Love'?"
Lili looked coyly at him. "Maybe I did, " She said, batting her eyelashes.
A few courts away, Holly shuddered. "No, I did not just call you love!" She yelled at Commander Root. Behind him, Foaly giggled. "Suuuure."
AUTHORS NOTE:
I hope that people who do not play tennis get this. You see, instead of scoring 1, 2, 3, etc, tennis is scored by saying: 15, 30, 40, Game. If the other person is on zero and you are on fifteen the score would be: 15 – Love or Love – 15, depending on who was serving. If you get it, YAY! If I have just confused you totally, no matter. Just smile and nod. And don't forget to review! Thanks.
BTW, Some little notes to my totally fabulastic reviewers:
Carmane: Actually, I've never heard of 'Snippets from Potterverse'. Is it good?
Goldie.dk: I am an interesting person. I think.
PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl: I will take that as a compliment. (lol)
Stiggy: Thanks for idea, I may use it (but, as I said before, I have a really weird idea that I may or may not post soon.)
Jamie Love: I will update some time in the next two weeks. (please do not sue me if this approximation is untrue. Lol.)
Also to sergeantstan, Semine Midnight, Lugian-Holly Before Swine and IwuvMyKenshyPoo: Thank you! You guys totally rock! Let us all eat cute little pieces of cheese!
