Chapter 6

«A friend. An ally. An equal. A sister. »


For the next few days, Mrs Weasley opened the window early each morning to let a big owl in.

The majestic black owl solemnly tapped its beak on the windowpane before flying above the table with a cluster of tiny pouches attached to its feet. When Mrs Weasley carefully detached the sachets, small full vials rattled against one another and the black owl flew away, getting from Hedwig an aggressive hoot. To Harry's dread, the vials were accompanied with parchments covered by a large and sharp handwriting, from which he immediately recognized its Ts and Ds, having seen them a couple of times on his essays.

Remus Lupin, who seemed to have established his quarters at the Burrow, and Mrs Weasley intently read Severus Snape's parchments, their faces contracted in a resolute expression. Harry felt uneasy that they were carefully following the potions' master orders. Harry hated the idea that Snape was needed for anything that was related to his friend's health.

One of those mornings, as Harry and Ron were eating a late breakfast and were casting quizzical looks at the small army of repugnant potions in front of Hermione, Mrs Weasley placed on the table another foul smelling cup of a brownish green brew that made Harry gag from inhaling the bitter smell.

«They must taste awfully bad, » he said with sympathy to Hermione, who was gulping them, almost unblinking. She shrugged before she drank the last one, «It's not as bad at it looks. At least I feel better after drinking them. » Ron quickly glanced at Harry and he could see that his friend was not buying into this.

The dark circles around her eyes were fading, but it seemed to Harry that Hermione's eyes were permanently glistening with a feverish glow. While spreading pumpkin preserves on his toast, Harry wondered, «What are they exactly?» Hermione lowered the cup and lectured, sounding almost doctoral, as she was pointing the small vials, «SoulResting potion. Serenity potion. Containing potion… These are all potions that will contribute to resorb the hex.»

She shivered and whispered, when Mrs Weasley turned her back to them, «Whatever you may think, Harry, Snape is a very skillful potion master. I've done researches in Mr Weasley's old books and some of those potions are borderline dark magic philtres. I'm not sure that even Madam Pomfrey would go into that.»

To this admission, Harry whispered back, his eyes almost rolling out of their sockets, «Dark magic, Hermione…what's going on with you? How can you drink those?» She glanced quickly at Mrs Weasley and she sternly murmured, «We can trust Snape for being knowledgeable on dark magic and what may heal it, I guess.»

Ron grumbled, as he was drinking a cup of tea, «How can you be sure he's not poisoning you?» His intervention was followed by a somewhat hollow sound: Mrs Weasley gave him a smack behind the head and she indignantly spurted, «Ronald Weasley! You should be happy that we know a potion master that is able to brew those potions for Hermione!» But Harry and Ron's intractable expressions led Mrs Weasley to look down and she said with a falsely cheerful voice,« It's only for now, dear. Only for now. We have to wait.»

Ron had his eyes on his eggs but it seemed to Harry that he was trying to conceal his anger as he asked back, with a demanding inflexion, «What are we waiting for?» Mrs Weasley looked a bit surprise when Ron, his cheeks slightly blushing, shouted out, «I mean, for whom do we have to wait for? This…Are we waiting for this…this Auror?»

Mrs Weasley dropped her pan in a loud rumble and Harry could see her eyes making a determined statement as she firmly said, «I know you're worried for Hermione, dear,» Ron blushed furiously, « but you have to trust your father on this. He really wantsus to be safe. We have to wait. »

After a few days of Snape's potions regimen, Hermione reported that the nightmares were fading. Although he felt frustrated and suspicious to see that Hermione's road to wellness was consequential to Snape's skills, Harry was relieved to see that she started to act like her old self again. She spent an enormous time by herself reading books that should have been thrown away, in Harry's opinion, because they were falling apart - «You don't just throw away books, Harry,» she said with a fierce glimpse in her eye, as he was teasing her - and she spent an irritating amount of time with Ginny, whispering and laughing. Harry had to admit to himself he had never been happier to see her bicker with Ron again.

One afternoon, having foolishly accepted to get trashed by Ron at Wizards chess, Hermione had to face with a tight lip his newfound resolution to work on his competitive side. Harry stifled a snort as Ron loudly exclaimed himself, «Blimey, this brain of yours is definitely not wired for this!» whenever she lost a piece to him. Hermione, after a while, looked at him and calmly retorted, «Maybe we'll talk about my brain when yours will be able to proceed how ridiculous you are, Ron,» as she left the chessboard, the game unfinished. Ron looked at Harry, shrugging and lifting his hands to the sky, sending a clear non-verbal message to him that meant what have I done, mate?

Ron, you're so bad at this. It's appalling. The problem is, I don't think I'm much better than you are.

This was starting to deeply annoy Harry: Ginny smiled at him, small talked with him, but he was waiting to see something in her eye, a sparkle, an invitation that could mean they could talk or something. Harry was writing scenarios in his head: maybe she was waiting to confess - that thought got him red-faced when she passed him the turnips - but Ginny,

If she is the forward and courageous girl she's rumoured to be

would have to give him at least an explanation for that kiss. Harry was mentally rehearsing faces and answers as he was looking at her at supper, trying to anticipate what he would do when her declaration would inevitably happen.

Wow, Ginny, I had no idea – no, I can't act

So you're attracted to me? I'm touched – nah, too emotive for a bloke

Don't blush Ginny, I think you're lovely – chivalrous…Not bad at all, Potter

The problem was that she did not look at all attracted to him anymore and when she turned to him at the dinner table, it was to bluntly say, «You got spinach on your teeth, Harry.»

A week and a half after, on a stormy afternoon, Harry was walking alone in circles in Ron's room trying to make sense of what followed the event he secretly had called the Incident.

Did she hate the kiss?

Could I have really bad breath?

What have I done?

A door opened in the corridor and Harry heard Hermione's voice sighing as a mattress creaked. He slowly approached the girls' room and peeked in: Hermione was lying on her back, absent-mindedly stroking her stomach and she was reading a book. Harry knocked on the door and she sat up, «Yes?»

Harry pushed the door open and saw all the opened books on the floor. He noted that Hermione looked ill at ease.

Harry took a few steps in the bleak room and then it hit him in the face: in all his Ginny-obsessed reflections of the last days, he had listened to Hermione but did not really get a good look at her. She looked terrible. Her usually invasive bushy hair was flat on her head and her eyes looked almost bulging. He swallowed and hesitantly said, «How are you, Hermione?»

Hermione drew her hair from her face in a loose bun and gave him a twisted smile. Harry forgot all about Ginny: Hermione was not well, even if she was sleeping better now and it came to Harry's mind that whatever she had been saying for the last days were lies he had been too happy to swallow. Her arms looked too thin, her face too gaunt, even if her eyes radiated intelligence as usual. A mix of concern and anger crept in his stomach: he bravely smiled back.

If I look assured, maybe she'll stop fearing for me and those awful dreams will stop.

Hermione closed her book and answered, «I'm resting, that's all. All those potions are making me a bit sleepy.» Harry slowly sat on the bed at her feet and looked at her without saying a word. Hermione looked reflective as her brown eyes dived in his and she gently assured him, «I'm okay, Harry. I really am.» The coldness of his voice surprised him, «Yes, I'm sure you are. »

Hermione seemed to be fighting against herself; she suddenly moved near him. She hesitantly said, «Now, I know what you are thinking…» She was looking for her words but Harry did not give her a chance to find them, as he flatly said, « Don't bother. I can tell what you're thinking, though. You're thinking that it is better to conceal the truth than to be honest with your friends.»

Hermione's resolution weakened and her voice carried a desperate accent, «Harry, I don't want you to be worried about this. I am in good hands. Really. Everything is going to be just fine. One cannot die from this kind of spell, and Snape's potions are…» Harry let go a sarcastic laugh that covered his worry, «You don't want me to worry about this. Hermione, you look awful. You scream in pain in your dreams...» Hermione interrupted him and muttered, «Not anymore, Harry.»

Hermione's answer made Harry jolt and he angrily snapped back, « Well, I have the right to worry, Hermione. Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? You told Ron, and he had to tell me everything.» Hermione was clearly taken aback by his outburst and she opened her mouth to say something, but Harry continued with fury in his voice, a fury against a lot of issues, a fury that was brewing for months now and that had finally found the perfect occasion to blow up, « Hermione, I've lost so many people… Everything is being concealed from me. Dumbledore hid uttermost important facts that he did not dare to tell me, you did not care to share your condition with me…ENOUGH! I don't want to be kept in the dark anymore! » Harry took a breath and continued, his voice a bit calmer, « If my friends, my best friends do not feel I can take this, what trust can I have in them?»

Harry got on his feet and stepped on a book, almost falling down on his face. He was going to flee the room, furious against Hermione and against himself from shouting, but Hermione took his arm in an authoritative manner. When he looked at her face, Harry saw something of the shut-up-and-listen-to-me Hermione that made his anger evaporate at once.

She dryly shot back, «Overly dramatic does not work for you, Harry. You're not the poor little misunderstood thing you would like to be right now. I know you've lost a lot, more than me, more than Ron, more than anybody in the whole wizarding world…»

Hermione took a deep breath and grasped Harry's arm harder as she said, « Some people are sincerely attached to you, Harry. People want to keep you alive and protect you. Good Godric!» Hermione shook his arm harder as she cried out, «Don't you see that the contamination spell is nothing? You see me as this…traitor friend», Hermione snorted, «that is suffering because of you. You must realize that this is bound to happen because I'm ready to get hex if it means that I'm helping you to do what you have to do. I've chosen to fight with you! What do I have to do to make this enter your thick head?»

Hermione defiantly crossed her arms and Harry sharply took in a breath as she murmured, in a soft and broken voice, «You can choose your family, Harry. Accept that I am what I am.» Hermione fixed her brown eyes in his. «A friend. An ally. An equal. A sister. I did not tell you about the spell because you had enough on your mind. So hex me.»

Silence spread its dark wings into the room, as the rumble of the thunder could be heard outside. Harry closed his eyes and his head tilted forward. It was difficult to admit it, but she was right. He could not be held responsible of all the choices people were making. He could try to convinced them, maybe, to change their minds, but he knew he could not do a thing about keeping Hermione and Ron away from him.

When he opened his eyes, Hermione was still standing, and he could see the corners of her lips twitching.

Why is this so hard to say?

He berated himself to say quietly, «I do - » Harry hesitated, « care a great deal about you, Hermione. I'm really worried about seeing you like this.»

Hermione softly answered back, «Well, I do love you too, Harry, but I felt that you had mourning to do this summer, not worrying about a hex that is going to be cured soon.» They stood face to face in silence, looking at each other and Hermione's faith in her healing brought warmth to him. Hermione clutched her hands while saying, «You know what? They told me I was very strong to have resisted so long to the hidden spell. They usually take a few days to come out. Tonks even told me that it is sad that the Paxlumina could not be self administrated, because she thought I could do it.»

Harry nodded and Hermione murmured, «I can fight, you know. I can defend myself. If not, I'll learn too.» Her bun untied itself and her hair fell on her shoulders as another voice gravely pledged, « Me too, Harry.» The floor creaked and Ron entered the room; he sat on Ginny's bed and they all looked at each other, a little awkward. Something did a somersault in Harry's stomach as the rain started tapping against the window.

My family

Hermione sat beside Ron and broke the silence, «This being cleared now, I do think we have much better to do that to put our friendship to the test. Don't you think there is a suspicious silence around this Auror?» Ron rubbed his eyes and he bitterly said, « I wouldn't say silence, Hermione. Mum and Dad are fighting real loud about it right now.»

Harry learned at that moment that Molly and Arthur Weasley had been quarrelling behind closed doors since Tonks talked about her colleague that could be of some help with Hermione's condition. Ron stretched andtousled his hair with his hand as he carried on the conversation, « We didn't even need the Extendable Ears to hear what they were saying. I never heard Dad angry like that. Mum said she really wants this Auror to come home to help you, Hermione. She told Dad that Moody or Tonks could reach her in an hour. Dad is against it for now, he says. He says it's not safe and that Snape's potions are helping you for the moment.»

Hermione bit her lip and frowned, «Ron, you said your father was convinced it's not safe…Do you know if he's talking about the Burrow or about this Auror?» Ron gave a regretful look, «Not clear. Dad said the Order of the Phoenix must reunite before taking any decisions. He said that Lupin was on his side and that Professor Dumbledore would have to agree on this. He also said…» Ron stopped and looked at Harry with a wince. « He had really harsh words for Tonks. He said that her frequentations are not always clear. Well, he said that in another way, but I'lljump overfrom the swearing part.»

Harry scratched his cheek and took the time to think. «Isn't a little late to ponder on Tonks' loyalties? She fought with all of us in the Department of Mysteries. She's a member of the Order. She has taken a severe hex: I guess she showed what side she's on.» Ron looked profoundly embarrassed as he stuttered, « I'm...I'm so sorry to say that, Harry, but Dad said she's parent with the Blacks. Her family was born on the wrong side of the fence, if you know what I mean.»

Harry forcefully shook his head, refusing to doubt Tonks' integrity for another second, «It doesn't make sense, Ron. Tonks' colleague hunts down dark wizards as she does. She must be okay.»

Hermione raised a hand to draw attention and Harry could read in her face her Miss-Know-it-all expression that usually preceded a lecture, « Harry, you're being unbelievably naive about this. In this book,» shepulled a book, titled «Comparative History of Defense against the Dark Arts and Evolution of Dark Magic», from the pile at her feet,« it is stated that spies have been trying to invade the Ministry since the end of the First War. The Aurors' recruitment is quite difficult, because being able to hunt down dark wizards implies that good Aurors have a shadow in them. An Auror must understand and predict what Dark magic adepts are going to do. The Aurors that are hired usually have a dark side to them. And some of them have a darker side than others. I think your father is being prudent, Ron.»

Ron murmured, looking at his hands, «All the Aurors I know are weirdoes…taking exception to Kingsley Shacklebolt. Hermione, what you're saying there is dark and darker. Who can we trust, then?»

They thought about this in silence and Harry soon realized how close Ron and Hermione were sitting, their arms almost touching. Harry caught something in Hermione's eye as she looked at Ron.

Harry hastily said, « Well, I'll go check on this in your father's library,» and he turned away to hurry out of the room as Ron was dumbstruck, «What?» Harry smirked as he closed the room behind him and he listened for a second to the rain that was pouring hard on the roof.

Going back to the boys' room, he heard a «Psst!» followed by a hand firmly grabbing his belt from behind. Too surprised to resist, Harry saw the door of the broom closet close on him and for a moment, he could not see a thing.


To be continued…