Dinner that evening is, for me, an awkward, protracted event. I can see that my wife has spent a great deal of time crying, for her eyes show it, and I can feel it in her mood, hear it in her voice. However, being the strong woman I have always known her to be, she puts on a brave face for the sake of our children. To their credit, they carry the conversation, dancing around the issues that are on all our minds. I am grateful to both of them for their sensitivity, as, I am sure, their mother is.
Padmé speaks very little during the meal, and avoids eye contact with me completely. I curse myself yet again for my clumsy and ill-timed overture in the bathroom earlier, vowing to not make such an ass of myself again.
"I heard from Mon Mothma earlier," Luke tells Leia. "It looks like her suspicions about the Empire were right."
Padmé speaks up. "What suspicions, Luke?"
"There have been rumors of a massive Imperial invasion preparing to strike Coruscant," explains Leia. "They know that the Alliance has set up shop there, with the hopes of using it as a capital of what we hope will become the New Republic. We have a long way to go, however."
"How big is this invasion force?" asks Padmé.
"Well that's what we're not so sure of," replies Luke. "Imperial intelligence has been very sketchy since the death of the Emperor; we don't know what is fed to us or what is real." He looks at me. "You could really help the Alliance with that, Father."
Padmé looks at me, the look in her eyes a mixture of surprise and something I'm unable to discern. Pride? Perhaps…
"I would be happy to help, Luke," I tell him. "As I told your superiors. I have a good idea about the dispersal of the Imperial troop strengths; but remember that it has been many months since I was Darth Vader. My information is probably outdated by now."
"But you must have access codes," suggests Padmé. I turn to her, my eyebrows slightly raised at her sudden interest. "You must have access to information at the highest levels, Anakin. All you would need is a linkup to the Imperial database."
I nod thoughtfully. "Yes, that is true," I concur. "Perhaps on Coruscant," I say tentatively.
"Coruscant served as the Imperial capital," agrees Leia. "So it would make sense that you could…"
"You're going back to Coruscant then?" Padmé interjects.
I look at my wife. Do you want me to go? I ask her wordlessly. Her eyes register that she has heard my question, and reflect the confusion that it heralds. She does not know anymore what she wants, that much is certain.
"I may have no choice, Padmé," I tell her. "If the Imperial threat is a real one, then the Alliance needs me. I made a promise to help them in any way I could, and I mean to keep that promise."
Leia raches over and puts her hand on mine. "You are an honorable man, Father," she says, pride shining in her dark eyes. "But you're not going alone."
"No," agrees Luke. "We will go with you, Father. The Alliance will need all of us."
I nod, and look back at Padmé. "Come with us," I blurt out, not thinking for a moment about what I am saying.
Her eyes widen in surprise at my suggestion.
"Yes, Mother," Leia jumps in. "Come with us! We don't want to be parted from you so soon after finding you after all this time. Besides, you were once a senator, a queen! Your political acumen would be welcome in the formation of the New Republic!"
Padmé is too surprised to respond, but I can sense that Leia's words have excited her. My wife was always at home in the political arena, and was an excellent leader, an astute politician. Surely she would love the chance to resume that life.
"Yes, Padmé," I say. "Come with us. You have been alone too long. The danger is over now; you are safe to come out of hiding. Won't you at least consider it?"
Padmé looks at each of us in turn, and I recognize by the set of her chin, by the look in her eyes that she is weighing her options. I will her to look at me, pleading with her silently not to be parted from me again, even for just a short march of days.
I can't bear the thought of you being apart from me again…please come with us...come with me..
"I will have to think about it," Padmé says at last, tearing her eyes away from mine and looking down at her plate. "Leaving here…I can't quite imagine it, to tell you the truth. It's been so long. I have to admit that the thought of returning to Coruscant, to the galaxy, is frightening to me. I've spent so long trying to remain hidden; the thought of leaving that seclusion is unnerving. I've become accustomed to the security it has afforded me."
I can feel the disappointment that fills my children, and share in it. Yet she did say she'd consider it, so I suppose that's better than her saying no out right.
"We understand, Mother," Luke says at last, his regret evident in his voice. "Only know that your experience could make a real difference, and I know how much that has always meant to you."
Padmé smiles at our son, her pride and love for him filling her eyes. "You're right, Luke," she replies softly. "It has. But I'm not the same woman I was all those years ago…time has a way of changing a person. Time and…circumstances." She stands up, her emotions brimming to the surface once again. "I'm sorry," she said, addressing us all. "Please, please excuse me…I'm going to retire. It's been a long day."
"Goodnight Mother," Luke replies, standing up, followed by Leia and me. Our children kiss her goodnight as I stand by and watch. And then she leaves us, confused yet hopeful.
"She will come around," I decide as we resume our seats. "Your mother has never been able to ignore a challenge."
Luke gives his twin a knowing look. "Sound familiar," he remarks.
Leia smiles back at him. "Yes, doesn't it though?"
