I lie awake in the dark room, my mind racing. From across the room I can hear Luke's slow, steady breathing as he sleeps. I envy him his ability to fall asleep so easily.

I roll over onto my side, first facing the wall, then after a frustrating few minutes I flop onto my other side. I close my eyes tightly, trying to meditate, calling upon the Force to quiet my over-active brain; but it is no use. I finally get out of the bed, frustration filling me. I grab my cloak from the chair where I carelessly tossed it earlier and quietly leave the room.

The night air is crisp; I am glad of my cloak and pull it closed as the bracing chill hits the bare skin of my arms and upper body. I walk along in bare feet, using the moonlight and the Force to guide my way.

Nocturnal insects chirping and the sound of gentle waves lapping lazily against the shore are the only sounds that greet me as I reach the front of the house. I lean against the railing of the balcony, marveling at the sight of Hannas II's twin moons reflected in the water below me. Moonlight on water, one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen, and one that still manages to take my breath away. For too many years I was unable, or perhaps unwilling, to see beauty in anything; the Darkness blinded me to it. But now I see it everywhere, in the shimmering waters, in the verdant splendor of the forest, the in look of love on my daughter's face when she smiles at me.

I close my eyes, allowing the peace of the moment to wash over me, filling me with a sense of tranquility and well-being. A slight breeze ruffles my hair and I shiver involuntarily. And then I sense a presence nearby…Padmé…

"Can't sleep?"

I turn to look at her, the sight of her face in the moonlight turning my knees to jelly.

"No," I tell her, trying not to notice how enticing she looks in the nightgown that is barely concealed by her dressing gown. Obviously she did not expect to meet anyone out here, for she has not bothered to tie it up, and I am treated to a generous view of her white lacy night gown under it.

"Bad dreams?" she asks, trying to hide the concern in her voice.

"No," I say again, tearing my eyes from her. "Too much on my mind." I tell her.

"Sorry," she replies. "I know what that's like."

I nod. "You know I remember the first time I saw moonlight on water," I remember with a smile. "My first time on Naboo, when I was a boy. Obi-Wan and I walked down to the water's edge after Qui-Gon's funeral. I was spellbound."

Padmé smiles. "I'm sure," she said. "Not a common sight on Tatooine."

"Not at all," I agree. "I recall being terrified at the sight of a waterfall. And the first time I had a bath…"

Padmé laughs, and it is a genuine laugh, one that makes my heart beat just a little faster.

"Padmé," I begin tentatively, turning to her once again. "I…I want to apologize about what happened earlier."

She looks at me out of the corner of her eyes, and then returns her gaze to the lake. I get no response from her, so I press on.

"I was completely out of line," I continue. "And I am sorry. I suppose I'm just clinging desperately to the hope that…well, that there is a chance that you and I can recapture what we had. I know that's unrealistic of me, but..."

"We can never do that, Ani," she tells me sadly. "Both of us have changed, too much has happened to ever have what we had. The innocence of our love was destroyed when you chose Palpatine over me and our children."

"Don't say that, Padmé," I implore her, turning to her. "You don't mean that!"

"Don't I?" she says, turning to look at me. "You have no idea what it's been like for me, Anakin; alone all these years, believing that my beautiful babies were dead..."

"Telling you that wasn't my doing, Padmé," I remind her. "That was Obi-Wan and Yoda. Nor was your seclusion my doing. You chose to hide from me…"

"Of course I hid!" she cries. "The man who I loved was dead, I watched him die right before my very eyes," she continues. "He died when he tried to kill me. He died when he chose to serve that monster Palpatine rather than come away with me and help me raise our child. That was when he died, Anakin that was when the love we shared died."

"Padmé, I know you don't believe it, but everything I did was to save you," I tell her desperately. "I was so anxious to save you from what I believed was certain death, that I was willing to do anything. I know now that I was wrong, that I was a fool to trust Palpatine, and don't think that I haven't regretted the decisions I made. If I could turn the clock back…but I can't. What I did was reprehensible, unconscionable, and you may never forgive me for it; but never, never doubt that I loved you, Padmé; despite everything that I was guilty of, not loving you was never one of them."

She looks up at me, her dark eyes full of anguish. "I didn't say that, Ani," she replies. "It's just that…"

"When I believed I had killed you," I continue, "any trace of Anakin Skywalker that was left in the shattered mess that was left on Mustafar died. You see, even in the Darkness that consumed me, even when the medical droids had turned me into a mechanized cyborg, I still loved you. The first words out of my mouth were to ask about you, and that was when Palpatine told me that I had killed you."

Padmé says nothing, her chest rising and falling quickly as she struggles to master her emotions, to make sense of what I am telling her. "Palpatine told you that…that you killed me?" she asks.

I nod.

"I…I didn't know that…" she replies quietly, averting her eyes once again.

I watch her, seeing the conflicting emotions raging through her.

"I spent 20 years believing I had killed you, Padmé," I tell her, deciding to go on. "The guilt, the remorse, the self hatred all served to intensify the hold the Dark Side had upon my soul. I had nothing to live for, nothing. And then one day everything changed."

She says nothing, but I hear her silent question: What happened?

"I found out that my son was alive," I tell her. "Our son."

"You mean, you thought that the baby…"

"Yes, just as you did, I thought the baby had died, except that I had been responsible for his death as well as yours," I tell her. "When I learned of the existence of Luke Skywalker, I knew that Palpatine had lied to me. That was the moment, that wonderful yet terrible epiphany changed me."

"How?"

"It was a connection with my past, with Anakin Skywalker," I explain. "I had

severed all associations with that man, but here I was faced with the existence of the son of Anakin Skywalker. Luke's existence was the beginning of the end of Darth Vader; when I met him that truly began my rebirth."

Padmé turns away from me as the tears flow freely down her face.

I watch her in silence for a moment, feeling her emotions raging through her as she struggles to come to terms with all that I have said.

"Finding my children, our children after believing they were dead by my hand began the erosion of the hold the Dark Side had on my soul," I tell her softly. "Luke's love for me, despite everything I had done to him and his sister, was what severed it completely. I know that I don't deserve a second chance, Padmé, but he has given it to me, Leia has given it to me. I know I am out of line asking you for one too, but I've got nothing to lose by asking."

She turns to me, but makes no reply.

"I love you, Padmé," I tell her softly. "I have always loved you, since that day in Watto's junk shop all those years ago. You are part of me, Padmé, the best part. And despite your anger, and all the hurt I know I've caused you, I know that you love me too."

She looks up at me, her eyes betraying her feelings. "It's not so easy, Ani," she says softly. "If only it were…"

"Why not?" I ask, grasping onto this glimmer of hope. She loves me…she still loves me! My mind shouts exultantly. "Why can't it, Padmé? We withstood so much, you and me, because of the depth of the love we shared. Can't we get through this too? We have our children now, Padmé! We can finally be a family!"

I stop, watching her for her reaction. The fact that she has not rejected my suggestion outright is a good sign, and I run with it.

"Think of what it would mean to be together, all four of us, as a family," I say, stepping closer to her. "Won't you at least consider it? Please, Angel?"

Finally she turns to me, her dark eyes troubled, glistening in the bright light of the twin moons.

"I want that more than anything, Ani," she tells me. "But I'm afraid. You once told me that we would be destroyed if we gave in to the love we felt for one another, and you were right. As much as I loved you, as much as I still do love you, I'm too afraid to go through that again. I can't tell you how many nights I spent crying myself hoarse from missing you, Anakin! How many nights I saw those yellow Sith eyes boring into me as I felt the grip of your fingers on my throat. I told you that I forgave you for that, and I have; but I will never be able to get the images of that horrible moment out of my mind completely. I'm just so afraid, Anakin, so afraid that if I give in, if I let myself love you again, that history will repeat itself. I won't go through that again. I can't…" she looks away from me, tremendous sorrow crushing her spirit.

I close my eyes as the tears fill them. What else can I say? I have laid down my heart at her feet, and she is too afraid to accept it. Afraid of me…the self-loathing that had become such a part of me rears its ugly head again, and I am sickened by the guilt and remorse that well up within me. How could I destroy this beautiful creature who wanted nothing more than to love me? How could I hurt her to the extent that she is afraid to love? But she does love me…that is the hope I must cling to. Perhaps I must heed my son's words, and be patient. Patience has never been one of my strengths. But if I am ever to win her back, that is what I need in copious amounts.

"I'm so sorry, Padmé," I tell her softly. "I…I wish I knew what else I could say..."

"There's nothing to say, Ani," she says at last, turning to me. "It's all been said, and this is where we are. I'm sorry, but I just don't have anything left to give you. I hope you can understand."

Understand? All I understand is that she loves me…she loves me but is afraid of me… Padmé Naberrie has never been afraid of anything for as long as I've known her, not the Trade Federation, nor the mysterious assassins trying to kill her, nor even the fearsome nexu who she faced in the arena on Geonosis; but now she is afraid of me. Of me…

"I will try to understand," I tell her at last. "Even if I don't, I will respect your wishes, Padmé. You needn't worry about that."

"Thank you, Anakin," she says, giving me a sad little smile. "I'm going back inside now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I return, watching her as she retreats into her bedroom again. Once she is gone I turn away, my vision blurred with the hot tears that fill them. I feel like my insides are being twisted by some giant hand, my heart being slowly crushed to pulp. Yet, deep inside a small ember of hope still burns. She loves me…she loves me… I tell myself over and over, those three precious words keeping my hopes afloat, and giving me the strength to keep fighting.

"You will be mine again, Angel," I say softly. "Only you just don't know it yet."