Morning arrives all too quickly. I awake to find that I am the last one asleep, again, for the room is empty besides me. Climbing down from the bed I stretch, feeling the tension in my back and shoulders ease a little in the process. The door slides open to reveal Luke and Leia.
"Good morning," I say as they enter the room. "How late is it anyway?"
"Not that late," Luke assures me. "Leia told me you were up in the night, so we figured you could use the sleep."
"Where is your mother?" I ask them.
"She's getting dressed," answers Leia. "I think she's pretty upset, actually. That must have been a terrible nightmare last night."
I frown as images from my wife's dream flash through my mind. Is that the fear that keeps her from opening her heart to me again? Are the scars inflicted by Darth Vader so deep that they will never heal completely?
"It was," I tell her. "Believe me."
"She told you about it?" asks Luke.
"No, she didn't need to. Her mind projected it while she slept; she and I have always had a connection, you see."
"You mean you saw what she was dreaming?" Leia asks in amazement.
"Yes, I did," I tell her. "My own sleep was disrupted by her dream, so strong were the images and the emotions that she was experiencing."
"It was about you, wasn't it?" Luke asks.
I look at my son, and nod. "Yes, it was. But it wasn't Anakin Skywalker she saw, it was Darth Vader."
"I'm not surprised she would have such a dream after seeing you in that suit yesterday," Leia observes. "It must have been horrible for her. Luke and I had seen you before, and it was hard enough for us; but Mother has never seen you like that, not in person at any rate."
"You're right," I agree. "It must have been very difficult for her." I sigh. "I wish there was another option. I feel like your mother is finally starting to open up to me again; I just hope this doesn't negate all the progress we've made."
"It won't," Luke declares. "Her feelings for you are very strong, Father. Anyone can see how much she adores you."
I smile. "Well son, there's never been an issue of love between us; quite the opposite. The question is can she put the past behind her? I honestly don't know at this point, to tell you the truth."
"Give her time," Leia tells me. "I agree with Luke. She loves you deeply, there's no question. I mean, she's here, right?"
"Yes, that is true," I concur. "How did you convince her to come with you? When I left she seemed adamant about remaining on Hannas II. What changed her mind?"
"Your crazy stunt changed her mind," Luke says with a smile. "When she found out that you had left without Leia and me, she knew that you were up to something. I guess she knows you pretty well."
I laugh. "That she does. Are you saying that she came here to try and stop me?"
"No, I don't think that was her thinking," Luke continues, looking at his sister for confirmation. "I think she just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Yes, that was my feeling too," agrees Leia. "It was as though she …changed gears when she heard that you had left like you did. She became so ..decisive, so much stronger than I'd seen her until that moment. I think in that moment we were seeing the old Padmé Skywalker."
I nod. "I'm seeing glimpses of her too," I tell them. "Slowly but surely, she is returning to us."
"I guess in a way she is experiencing a rebirth just as you are," observes Luke.
"I think so too, Luke," I tell him. "And it is wonderful to see. I only hope that the impending separation between us isn't long…" I stop as Padmé appears in the doorway.
"Good morning," I say to her with a smile.
She returns my smile as she enters the small room. "Good morning," she returns. "Did you enjoy your sleep?"
I nod. "Yes, thanks."
I watch her as she busies herself, knowing that she is ill at ease with what the day will bring. Or is it our moment of closeness last night that has her feeling this way? Does she regret the tender words we exchanged?
"Lando has arranged for us to have some breakfast before…well, before you leave, Father," Luke says.
"I'm not sure I'll be able to eat anything," mutters Leia.
I walk over to her and lift her chin with my finger so that she's looking me in the eye. "Of course you will," I tell her. "We all will. This is not the end, Leia, this day is a beginning. I swear to all of you that the Empire will cease to exist, its power exterminated. I will see to it personally, and who better to undo the Empire than the very person who had a hand in creating it in the first place? So please, no sad faces. We all have our part to play in this; mine just happens to require a more elaborate costume than any else's." I smile, trying to lighten the somber mood that has fallen over my family.
Leia finally cracks a smile, though it never does manage to reach her eyes. I pull her close, and hold her for a moment, reassuring her silently that we will get through this.
"I guess I'd better get dressed," I say, releasing Leia. "It's getting late."
"We packed a bag for you, since you left without taking anything with you," Padmé tells me as she hands me a small duffle bag. "What did Obi-Wan always say about you? 'Always on the move."
I laugh as I take the bag from her. "One of many things my former master used to say about me," I quip. "Thank you," I tell her. "That was very thoughtful of you."
"Well we couldn't have you bringing down the Empire without a change of shorts now, could we?" jokes Luke.
We all laugh, and the moment serves to break the tension that is almost tangible among us.
"True enough," I say. "Well I'll be quick. Meet you in a few minutes."
I leave my family and head for the 'fresher down the corridor. I am met halfway there by Lando Calrissian. His dark eyes are troubled, and his brow furrowed with concern.
"What's wrong?" I ask him.
"I still can't reach Mon Mothma, Ackbar or any of the others on Coruscant," he tells me. "Something is definitely going on there, Anakin. You were right. I just hope they're okay."
I frown, nodding my head thoughtfully. "I hope so too. Time is of the essence now. We have to move fast if we are to prevent all out war from starting."
"War?" Calrissian echoes. "Are you kidding me?"
"No, I'm not," I reply. "Did you really think the Empire would roll over and die with the end of Palpatine? The Imperial ranks are full of ambitious men who care about nothing but power and wealth. They are not about to relinquish that simply because the Alliance has decided that galactic peace is the way of the future. They will fight to the last man to preserve what they have, no matter how many innocents they have to kill in the process. Chaos is a very dangerous thing, Lando. Very dangerous."
"You'd know better than anyone what the Empire is capable of," he observes. "I only wish we had you with us, Anakin. But I understand why you feel compelled to do this."
"I can assure you that I don't like it," I tell him, anxious to be on my way. "I would much rather be with my family on some quiet, peaceful planet somewhere; but until there is peace in the galaxy, I have no choice. My children and my wife will be invaluable to you though; I'm sure you will find their contributions will be tremendous."
"No doubt of that," he concurs. "I won't hold you up any longer," he says, seeing that I m still in my sleeping pants. "Breakfast is on its way. I'll talk to you then."
"Good," I say. "Until later then."
Time seems to be racing, hurtling me forward to the moment I have been anticipating and yet also dreading. Before I know it, I am again standing in the black suit, staring at myself in the mirror. This is it, the moment of truth, the moment when I will either lose my nerve or forge onward to embrace my destiny. There is so much at stake, and I know that the future of the galaxy is on my shoulders. This is my chance to atone for the sins of my past, and I have to grab it with both hands. With a sigh I leave the 'fresher, the cumbersome armor weighing heavily on me as heavily as the gravity of the moment. My family is with me; I know that this is as difficult for them as it is for me, perhaps moreseo. Despite their trust and love, I know that each one of them is afraid deep down inside that I will slip into the Darkness once again and this makes me more determined than ever to prove myself.
"Well, I guess the big moment is here," I say, my eyes drawn to the heavy mask and helmet that await me.
"Have a seat, Anakin," Kenda instructs me. Her demeanor has changed drastically from the previous day; is it is the gravity of the situation that has subdued her? Or does she share the same fears that my family has?
"Darth Vader will not win this time," I tell them all, reading in their eyes the unspoken fears. "I swear to each of you, that though I may don this mask and armor, the Sith shall not take me from you. On my life I swear it."
Leia comes to me and without a word wraps her arms around me. I know she is doing her best to control her emotions, as are we all. Luke puts his hand on his sister's shoulder and looks up at me, his eyes shining with the tears that he is fighting to keep at bay. "This will all be over soon," he tells me. "I know it. I have complete faith in you, Father…Dad. I know that you are the Chosen One, and that you will destroy the Empire."
I smile at my son, the pride I feel for him in equal measure to the love I bear him. "I can't do it alone," I tell him. "I will need you to do your part as well, Luke. And I know you will. Your part in this is tremendously important as well, son, just as Leia's and yours, Padmé," I say, looking up at her. "The Alliance will need your leadership to see them through this."
Padmé merely nods, too emotional to reply.
"Well, I can't put this off any longer," I say, releasing my daughter. "Let's get on with it."
I sit down and take a deep breath, preparing myself for the dreaded moment.
"Before I do this," Kenda says while holding the mask in her hands, "I just want to let you know what tremendous respect and admiration I have for you for doing this, Anakin," she says. "You are a brave and honorable man, and the Alliance is lucky to have you on our side."
I smile at her, warmed by her unexpected words of praise. "Thank you, Kenda," I tell her. "I wouldn't have been able to do this without your help, though; you have been invaluable to me in this, and I thank you."
She shrugs somewhat self-consciously. "We all do what we can, Anakin," she says. "My part is less significant than yours, but I'm proud to do it." She looks down at the mask in her hands. "Are you ready?"
I look down at the mask and nod. "Yes, I suppose I am," I say. I look one more time at each of my children, and then at my wife. How long will it be before I see them again? May Destiny grant that I do see them again…
Kenda brings the mask forward and prepares to place it over my face, when
Padmé speaks up. "Stop!" she says. "Before you do this, there is something I need to do." Kenda looks at me, puzzled, but moves away as Padmé steps over to me. She stands in front of me, and for a moment, our eyes merely gaze at one another. Then, to my utter surprise, she takes my face in her hands and brings her mouth to mine. I am stunned for a moment, but recover quickly, pulling her close to me, responding to her kiss. I had almost forgotten the sweetness of her beautiful mouth, the way she can make my blood race merely with a kiss such as this one. But it ends, all too quickly, and I find myself looking at her as she holds my face in her hands. "I love you," she says softly. I smile, elated by her declaration. There has not been a doubt in my mind of her feelings, but to hear her voice them means more to me than I can say.
"I love you too, Padmé," I tell her. "Don't ever forget that, my angel."
She nods, as the tears fill her eyes. Reluctantly she releases me, and steps back. Our eyes never leave one another's until the mask is placed over my face. Within moments the dreadful hiss of the breath mask sounds in the room, silencing everyone with a terrible sense of anxiety. The mask completes the transformation, and, once again, I find myself trapped within the black nightmare that supported my life for more than 20 years.
I stand up and look at each of my children. Their reactions this time are calmer, and I am grateful for that. They know it is me, they know that the appearance of Darth Vader is merely that, an appearance. Next I look back to Padmé. I walk over to her and put my hands on her shoulders.
"I will be back, Padmé," I tell her, hating the mechanical sound of my voice that prevents me from speaking to my wife with the tenderness I want to impart to her.
She smiles up at me, and reaches up with her hand to tentatively touch the side of my mask. I know the intent of the gesture, despite the strangeness of it under the present circumstances. "I know you will, Ani," she says.
Lando Calrissian enters the room at this point. "All set, Anakin?"
I tear my eyes away from my wife to look at him. "Yes, I am." I release Padmé and walk to the door to meet Calrissian. I turn back to my family one last time.
"May the Force be with you, Father," Luke says as he puts his arm around his sister.
"And with you as well," I tell him. And before I lose my nerve, I turn away and walk out the door.
