A/N: Another Chapter. Happy reading and enjoy. Hope to read what you think in your reviews.

Chapter 15

Sophomore Year (Alabama)

Liv couldn't believe it. Her friend and roommate Jaz wasn't coming back to Alabama. It was a sad reason why and all Liv could do was support her decision. Her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and Jaz didn't want to be away from her.

"The softball team isn't going to be the same without you here Jazzy, and I'm going to be so lonely."

Always trying to make Olivia laugh, Jaz said "Well at least you have a room now all to yourself on campus. Don't be a dud, invite some guys over, you know, you won't be as lonely as you think."

"Shut up." Liv laughed. "Anyway, you know I'm not like that."

"I know enough to recognize you have been in love with someone ever since you came to Alabama, and I'm going to tell you not to let it get to where you lose him. I know you don't talk about it, but I could tell in your eyes Liv."

Liv took a deep breath. Some days it was harder than others to hide the face how much her heart ached to be with Fitz. "There is someone back home, well, he's not home, he's away too, but it's over. It's been over for a while now, so even though I may still think of him, nothing will ever come of it."

"Well, you'll be alone now in a room all to yourself. It wouldn't hurt to write him a few letters, let him know you still think of him from time to time, or all the time, anyway." Jaz reminded her.

"That obvious?" Liv questioned.

"Look, girl, you just do you. You are a hell of a softball player. I will be cheering you on and when Bama gets to the College world series because of you I'll be the loudest screaming "Roll Tide." Jaz laughed.

Liv's laughter suddenly became tears. She knew now how Quinn must have felt when she left New Jersey without warning. "Jazzy, I'm going to miss you so much. All of our late night talks, our dumb games, and racing in the outfield."

"I'm only a phone call away, ok. We can still have our late night talks. Besides it never was a race, you left me in the dust all the time." Liv heard Jaz's mom call to her. "Look, Liv, I have to go. Don't be a stranger, ok. I am serious too, write what's his name a letter, it can't hurt. Even if you don't mail it, one day you can read it and remember how you felt at one point in your life. Talk soon."

The phone line grew silent, and Liv sat now in her room. Because they were assigned early due to being on the softball team, Liv would be alone for the semester. Jaz quit after the rooms were assigned. Liv was excited and sad about being by herself. More time to do her work without interruption, but more time to think about Fitz, and only Fitz.

Jaz was right, she should write him a letter. She stared at her notebook sitting on her desk. She opened it to a crisp, blank page. What should I begin with? So, Fitz, how is the war going oversees? Thanks for protecting our country while I'm still bitter about you telling Simon you took my virginity away.

She put the pen down and wrote nothing. After three damn years, she still had too much anger in her. Was it anger or was it heartbreak? Either way it was better she didn't write something. She may write something terrible, tuck it away and forget she wrote it.

What would happen if she came across it ten years from now? It would only ruin the life she may be living by then. Thank goodness her phone rang at that moment. She forgot about writing her feelings of Fitz while she took call from her mother. She had to tell her about Jaz.


Present Day

Liv drove Fitz to the airport. Her mom and dad stayed behind so Fitz and Liv could have the time to say their good byes. Liv knew she would be a crying mess, but for now she wanted to strong for Fitz. It was only going to be a week or two before she saw him again, not ten years.

They gave themselves two extra hours when they left her parents. They stopped for some lunch and took a walk on the beach together. Liv's baby bump was growing, and she was wearing one of Fitz's NAVY shirts. They would be better than maternity clothes, she told him.

They sat in the sand, in a secluded section of the beach and watched as the waves rolled in. She turned to face him, her hair blowing just a bit from the breeze. They just looked silently at each other. Fitz smiled at her. He raised her ring finger and rubbed her engagement ring.

"I'm going to miss you, Fitz." Her head fell to his shoulder. "I don't want to do this alone."

"Hey." He wrapped his arms around her. "You're not going to be alone. Your parents are there and once the ultrasound is finished, you'll be with me on base. I'll never let you be alone. You know that right."

She shook her head, not leaving his shoulder, just loving the feel of his arms around her. He must have felt the wet on his neck from her tears. He pulled her back and looked at her, his eyes trying to be encouraging, but just as sad as hers.

Her lips connected with him and with the backdrop of echoes from the waves, the two lovers kissed on the beach, and Liv wanted this moment to freeze in time. Disappointed when it did stop, and not wanting to look at him because of her sadness, Fitz continued to kiss her neck.

Liv's sadness turned to a smile when Fitz rolled her (well really his) shirt up just above the baby bump. She placed her hands on his head, rubbing his curls affectionately. He kissed gentle kisses on her stomach.

"Hey you two. Be nice to mommy while I'm working alright. She'll be back with me soon. Oh and." Liv had to laugh because he cupped his hand like he was telling them a secret and whispered something Liv couldn't hear.

Then Fitz put his ear to her belly as if he was waiting for a response. He put another kiss on her bump and pulled her shirt back over it as he stood up. He took her in his arms, kissed her head, and turned so they would walk towards the car.

After another kissing session in the car, one that took every ounce of Liv's self control not to take him right there in the car, they finally had to say good bye for now. Liv closed her eyes as he hugged her close.

"Promise me you'll read the notebook while we're apart Livvie."

She nodded. "I promise." She looked down, not being able to watch him leave the car.

"Two days for the ultrasound, two days for the results, and three days after that, then we'll be in Nevada together." Fitz kissed her forehead and left before it got any worse for her.


Operation Enduring Freedom (Fitz's second year)

Two long grueling years in the Afghan desert. It was beginning to take its toll on Fitz both emotionally and physically. His body needed a break, and he wasn't going to hesitate to tell his Admiral before it got worse.

Fitz arrived at the Admiral's barracks on base ready to tell him as much as he wanted to stay, he would need a bit of a vacation, something to get his body back to form. Before he could even speak the Admiral called him in the office.

"Fitz, your training at Top Gun, your leadership in the air, and your knowledge of the fighter jets has far surpassed my original expectations of you. How does a month break sound? I am going to recommend to the Pentagon to grant you the break and then go to an allied country."

Fitz's shoulders fell in relief. "Thank you, Sir, yes, that sounds great and thank you for the kind words. Serving here, under your command has been the greatest honor of my life." Fitz smiled.

"Despite your sadness, Lieutenant, you have demonstrated what a true Navy pilot should be. Your dedication is so noted. Now whomever it is you're missing back home; I hope you get to spend some time with her." The Admiral nodded, dismissing Fitz.

"Sir?" Fitz said as a clear question. "I'm not sure what…."

"Fitz, come on now, your eyes tell the story. There's a blank space in them. You're missing someone, and whether that someone is in your life or not, you need to be honest with yourself. Have you written at all?"

"Yes, sir, when I was in the infirmary. I filled up a whole notebook." Fitz laughed.

"Then make sure she sees that notebook one day. She has a right to know how you were feeling, even if it doesn't work out between the two of you. Now like I said, go get some rest. We'll be in touch. Give my best to your father."

"Yes sir, will do and thank you."

All packed up, waiting for his transport, Fitz held on to the notebook. He skimmed through the pages, not reading them, just passing through them. Would she ever get to read all these words? He took a deep sigh. He didn't ever think he would be over her, and the words in here proved that.

Just before he entered his father's car for the ride home to Santa Barbara for a month, he made a wish out loud. "One day, my Livvie, I am sure you will read my words, know that I never stopped or will ever stop loving you, and hope that you can forgive me." He tucked his notebook away in a big manilla envelope where it would stay until Olivia could one day open it.


Present Day

Liv sat on the bed in Fitz's childhood bedroom. She said her good night to her parents an hour ago. After a long, hot shower and a quick phone call to Fitz, she held the same envelope in her hands that Fitz held the day he returned years ago with his father.

She rubbed the front of the envelope. It was addressed to Gerry, Fitz brought it with him over to Germany, and after he met Lillian, he thought it best to mail it to his father. His father kept it in a bottom drawer next to Fitz's bed.

Fitz had admitted to Liv he didn't ever feel the way towards Lillian the way he felt about her, but he didn't want Lillian to find something so personal and close to his heart. For those reasons, he sent the book back.

Now, Liv had it in her possession and she took it out of the envelope. It was just a composition notebook, nothing spectacular to look at until she opened the cover. She had engraved the look of Fitz's handwriting in her mind.

Ever since the night he wrote his phone number in her notebook and the small note about the weekend, that dreadful, most beautiful weekend, Liv remembered his handwriting. She could tell you the way he dotted his letter I's and how he crossed his t's. He had drawn a small heart and that was the only drawing she saw of his, until now.

When the picture hit her eyes, they filled with tears. He had drawn a big heart and inside the heart around the name "Livvie" there was roses. Some were drawn as single roses, some were drawn as a small bouquet, but they were beautiful.

Her name was in the center and around the two letter I's in Livvie were hearts not dots. Liv rubbed her hand over the page and thought of him in a hospital naval bed making such a beautiful picture. She turned the page with a deep breath.

His first entry was his first night after he woke up from being out for five days with the concussion. If the rest of his entries were anything like this one, Liv didn't think she'd make it to the middle without having a crying breakdown.

He didn't even have to go beyond the first two pages for her realize he never did stop loving her as much as she never stopped loving him. She put her hand over her mouth as she read the first entry.

Livvie:

My sweet Livvie. Please forgive the handwriting being a bit wobbly. I was shot down in the plane, then as luck would have it, I was shot in the shoulder and hit my head on a rock. I am just coming out of concussion protocol.

I look to my right at the empty chair, and I imagine you sitting there. Your beautiful brown eyes smiling at me, telling me I'll be alright. I know I'll be fine but hearing the words from your lips would make any pain I have go away.

I miss you so much Livvie, my heart wants to burst out of my chest when I think of you. There aren't enough ways to say I'm sorry in the world to make it seem true to you, I'm sure. It's been three long years since I last saw your face and I still remember it as if I'd seen it a minute ago.

I've heard about your success in softball in Alabama. I talk to Mason when I can, and I always ask about you. I have him checking stats online. I am so proud of the athlete you've become and will continue to be through your college career.

It's getting late now, or I'm getting sleepy, I'm not sure which one it is. It's always hot here in the desert so it always feels like daytime. Writing these words made me feel better. One day I hope you get to read them.

I love you Livvie, today and for always. If by chance you ever do get to read these words, please know that I've never stopped loving you. Those two nights will always be the best nights of my life, unless of course we meet again, and I have my life with you.

Signing off for now. All my love. (With a small heart)

Fitz.

Liv picked up the pages of the notebook. She flipped through the pages. Each one of them were filled with his handwriting. She would never get through all of it, or would she? She rubbed the tear getting ready to fall and closed the notebook.

Placing it under the pillow next to her, she thought of him lying in that bed, sitting upright and writing while he was injured. She rubbed her stomach. "You have quite the daddy, boys. I hope you grow up to be just like him. "

With her hand on her stomach and her other hand around his sweatshirt for his smell, Liv fell asleep thinking of his loving words and when she would be in his arms again.

Sophomore college season (Alabama)

"Over again, a hundred times." Jaz laughed. "Girl, you ate that up!"

Liv laughed with her. "You're crazy, stop watching it." Liv was watching too, a bit more than a hundred times. "It was good though; I have to admit."

"Top ten on ESPN, good? Girl give yourself the credit you deserve, that was freaking spectacular."

Liv looked at the television as she pushed play. She was on the television at number 3 on the ESPN top ten plays for the day.

"Number 3 Alabama softball sensation Olivia Pope, with the leap, the catch, and the snap throw to first all the way from third base to double up LSU's Lindsey Egan. Wow! Another look in slow motion folks. That leap took her in the air. Olivia Pope, one to watch."

"I hear you playing it in the background Liv, you go, watch it all night." Jaz laughed.

"How's your mom doing?"

"She's responding to the chemo. It's looking good. I'm glad I stayed with her. That chemo is no joke, it makes her so sick sometimes. I just feel better being with her."

"Good to hear. My mom is calling, let me take the call. Chat soon, Jaz."


"Did you see it?" Liv almost screamed into the phone.

"Well, hello to you also baby girl. See what?" Maya asked.

"Mom, do you not watch ESPN?"

"Only when your father is home. He is working a double tonight. He won't be in until the morning. Why, what did I miss?"

"Mom! Come on! I left you a message to watch."

Maya began laughing. "Of course, I watched it, and I recorded it, and I watched it again, and again, oh, and again. Where did you learn to jump like that, you were in the air!"

Liv giggled. "Right! It was just instinct and then I saw the movement from first, and I knew I had her nailed."

"That was a perfect strike to first base. I am so proud of you Olivia. You are doing your thing down there."

"You think he saw it?" Liv whispered.

Maya took a breath. "Being honest with you, no, I don't think he saw it. If he's overseas like you said, I doubt he saw it. He's doing much more than…" She stopped. She didn't want to sadden her daughter in such a happy moment.

"Worrying about me playing softball." Liv finished it for her. "He'll see it one day, I hope. Maybe…" She stopped. "Anyway, is dad really working a double."

"If Fitz has contact with anyone here in the states, Liv, I am sure he will hear about it, maybe not see it, but hear about it. Yes, your father is working a double, he hasn't seen it yet, but everyone is telling him about it. He won't watch it until he gets home."

"When he gets home, tell him I love him. Tell him to text me when he is awake tomorrow so I can call him. Love you mom." She hung up.

Watching the play one more time before falling asleep, Liv hoped Fitz got to see this one day. This was the most exciting play she's had in softball since she began playing at the age of 8. Liv clicked off the television.

She didn't have any notes, she could never bring herself to write her feelings, but she had videos, playbacks of her playing days, and maybe one day she could sit in the comfort of his arms and watch the plays together. Every game, every play, she thought of him, he had to know this.


Present day

"I read the first entry and I had to put it down. After seeing the drawing on the first page, I am surprised I even made it to the first entry. Fitz, it's beautiful."

She heard him smile. "You're beautiful. It's just the first entry, read some more of my heart, will you."

"I will, I can't wait to, but right now, I am just about to go in. My parents are here." Eli patted her knee and winked at her.

"Call me as soon as you're done. If I don't answer, leave a message, ok."

"I will. I love you."

"Love you more, Livvie. Say hi to the boys for me."

She looked at her mom. "He calls them "the boys", how cute is that." Liv rubbed her stomach as the tech called her in.

Maya sat on the side of Liv, able to look at the monitor. Her hand was holding her daughter's, and she could feel how nervous Liv was. "Calm down baby, you don't want any added stress on the babies."

Eli sat at the end of the bed. "Your mother is right. The babies will react how you react, just close your eyes and remain calm, think of something that calms you, maybe the ball rolling at you top speed at third base."

Liv smiled, "Always about softball, huh dad."

The sound echoing now in the room had them all looking at the monitor. Two heartbeats squishing from the monitor. The tech was focused, and the colors were around the heart as she snapped pictures.

"We take pictures of the heart, just to make sure it's developing ok, that there are no complications or abnormalities." She didn't take her focus off what she was doing, just kept rubbing the gel around Liv's belly.

"You have two heartbeats, as you know, so the ultrasound may seem a bit lengthy, let me know if you need a break."

Liv nodded but was staring at the monitor with her parents. "Look at them baby." Maya said. "Two little heads, two little bodies."

Liv looked away. As much as she appreciated her parent's being here, she was being selfish. She wanted Fitz here. Liv closed her eyes. The shadows of the babies in her sight, and it calmed her down. She heard the swishing around, continued to hear the heartbeats, and waited for it to be over.

"Okay Ms. Pope, all finished. Here's some pictures." She handed Liv a sleeve from the machine. "These will be sent over to the doctor and you should get a follow up call in two days. Stay well."

Liv snapped a picture of the sleeve of pictures and immediately sent it to Fitz before she even got cleaned up and dressed.

"The ultrasound was focused on their heart and kidneys. Apparently, they start developing their kidneys now." Liv was explaining it to Fitz. "I should have the results in two days, and then."

"Then, it's two days closer to be together."

"Did you get my package?" Liv asked

"Just came today, what's that about?"

"No peeking, just wait until I get there."

"Are they videos of you naked? That smooth brown skin that I love so much?"

"You are shameless Mister. The heartbeat of both your boys sounded strong. I can't wait to meet them Fitz. I know we have a long way to go."

"Me either, but first, I need to see you. I have to go. I love you, Livvie. Tell my boys, daddy says hey."

Liv knew exactly where all the videos were stored in her apartment. Bess was able to get there, send the envelope directly to Fitz, where they would stay until they could watch it together.

As a thank you to Bess, she sent over a picture of the twins from the ultrasound. "Did you get the pic, Bess?"

"I already have it in a frame on my desk. I am so happy for you. When are you virtually coming back?"

"I'll start up again on Monday. I will be in Nevada then, on base with Fitz. It's been a crazy few weeks here. Thanks again for sending the envelope."

"You got it, Liv, I'll see you Monday. Take it easy."


On speaker phone with the doctor so her parents could hear, Liv was given the clear to travel and to follow up with the doctor in Nevada in two weeks. She had to continue taking the vitamins and call with any problems.

The twins were looking good, developing just fine. "Their muscles and bones are developed enough where they will move around. You should begin feeling movement, if you haven't already. They're about the size of a peach. Make sure you exercise, try slow walking for 30 minutes a day. Take it easy Ms. Pope."

Maya and Eli hugged her and took her already packed bag to the airport. The original plan was for them to leave first, but Olivia couldn't wait another minute to be away from Fitz, so off she was going, leaving her parents to the staff at Fitz's home.

"We'll see you in about a month." Eli hugged her. "Stay out of the hospital, you hear me."

"I hear you."

Maya hugged her. "Your dreams are coming true." She whispered in her ear. "Everything you wished for Fitz is reality. Embrace it baby girl. I am so proud of you, and I love you with all my heart."


Just before the plane took its descent to land, Liv read the last words of Fitz's notebook.

"You, Liv, are the personification of beauty. Your face, the thought of your touch, the love I know you still have for me, that's what gets me through these dark days. If ever our dram of having a family can come true, then I will forever count my blessings. I love you and will always love you."

The notebook came to an end. He didn't have room to sign it, Liv noticed, and she tried to stop the tears, but she couldn't. These were his thoughts, alone in an infirmary, in a desert at war. His thoughts of her, and he was right, he knew she still loved him.

She tucked the notebook in her bag, and he was waiting for her, as she exited the plane. Being a pilot had its perks, and him being there to greet her right off the plane was one of them.

He took one look at her. "Liv you've been…."

Her lips overtook his words as she just kissed him, people walking around them. She continued to cry feeling the words going through her thoughts, and she rested her head on his chest. "I missed you so much."


Naval apartment (Nevada)

It was a small, one bedroom apartment. It had just the right coziness for them. The sounds of planes in the background didn't phase them at all. Before the bags even hit the floor, Liv had her clothes off and was pushing Fitz down to the bed.

She couldn't wait another minute to feel his skin and to have him in her. She pulled his shirt off and as he landed on his back, he couldn't hide the erection now pushing out of his pants. Liv straddled him, pinning his hands next to his head, and kissed down his chest.

Pulling his pants off, she let one of his hands go and began stroking his rock hard erection as she kissed all around it. His free hand rubbing her shoulder as he moaned in pure delight. She kissed back up his chest to his lips, where he broke his other hand free and rubbed her back up and down.

Liv pulled at his dick and guided it right to her entry. Without any problem, he slid into her and the feel of him after so long without him brought her head down in weakness with a moan of passion. She bit his earlobe as she whispered "yes" kissing his neck.

Both his hands on her hips, guiding her, he couldn't take it anymore, and he rolled her carefully around. He pumped slowly into her, able to watch her as she rubbed his chest and closed her eyes. He leaned down into her ear now.

"I love you." He whispered. "So much." His rhythm became faster, a bit harder, he no longer was afraid of the pregnancy, and he saw her body arch. His arm went under her back, and he watched as she trembled in climax, it being the sexiest thing he had seen.

As her body rested down, breathing heavily, his lips engulfed hers, and he continued to pump into her. With just enough strength in her, she pushed him back, so she was on top, and fell weakly again into his chest, gliding her bottom on his still hard erection.

"Fitz, please." She sat up, rubbing her breasts, and as he pulled her down into another kiss, she felt her second orgasm overtake her body, with him grunting his way to his climax. Their bodies spent, exhausted, Liv didn't budge from on top of him.

He rubbed her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder. As they lay in silence, just coming down from their explosions, Fitz felt on the outside, the same thing Liv felt on the inside.

"Livvie, was that?"

She picked her head up, smiling. She shook her head in happiness. "Your boys, kicking their mommy and daddy. I've been feeling some movement for a few days now. I wanted to surprise you, but they couldn't wait."

Liv rolled on to her back, and with Fitz's ear on her belly, she whispered, "we'll watch what I sent you tomorrow. Now, feel your boys kick you." She smiled.

She fell asleep right after those words. Fitz, knowing Liv was asleep, smiled at her belly. "I've waited ten years for you, my boys. I can't wait to meet you and for you to see how beautiful your mommy is." Fitz rested his head on the pillow and just stared at his Livvie sleeping so soundly.

He fell asleep soon after. Liv's baby bump touching Fitz's stomach, as his hand rested around on her back. Soon to be a family of four, soon to be telling the stories of their never ending love to their twin boys, but for now, in each other's arms they would sleep for the night.