August 30th, 2001
Dear Diary,
Can the days be any longer! Each day is becoming a century in my mind. I can't find solace in anything… I've gone from punching my pillow to slicing my wrists… nothing works. It only leaves me crying and completely frustrated. Even the beautiful ocean breeze does nothing for my anymore.
I have become distant from everyone around me. I cry in the mornings and at night, the times I miss him the most- when he visits me for brief amounts of time in my mind. My parents are starting to worry that I am sick and they are getting every doctor available on the island. I guess they are trying to get me pills now, so I can sleep through the nights instead of waking up screaming. No one understands. Everyone at school thinks I'm crazy and I am constantly being ridiculed for all my beliefs. Sometimes I wonder if I really am crazy… but then my mind thinks again of him and I know I can't be. Everyone in my life is giving up on me… but I know I can't give up on myself… I have to keep going. I know now that I love for him. All these horrible memories will serve as sweet discourses for the times to come.
