CHAPTER 69
I rise early, anxious to be off, anxious to see my family. I collect Han from his accommodations, and he seems as anxious as me to leave. Having made arrangements for our departure the previous evening, we are soon under way.
I am pleased to see that my orders have been followed, and we are no longer in the Coruscant System. Judging by the stars we are not far, however; no doubt Kastellan and his comrades on the other two destroyers are still trying to determine the best place to meet up with the rest of the remaining fleet. Good luck with that, I think, only too anxious to leave the onerous task to them. I have more important matters to attend to.
"So where is Chewbacca?" I ask Han as we leave the hangar bay of the Intimidator.
"I dropped him off on Kashyyk after I left Hannas II," he explains. "He hadn't seen his family in a while, and wanted to visit them."
"He's probably worried that he hasn't heard from you," I observe. "He's very loyal to you."
Han nods. "Yeah, he is," he agrees. "You know what Leia called him the first time she saw him?" he asks with a grin.
"What did she call him?" I ask.
"A walking carpet," Han replies with a grin. "Man, that first time I met her I wasn't sure if I liked her or wanted to kill her. She sure has a way of infuriating a person."
I laugh. "Yes, I've noticed that about her," I reply. "I have to take responsibility for that particular personality trait. I've been known to infuriate a person or two in my time."
It is Han's turn to laugh this time. "Yeah, I can imagine. So how did it go? You obviously got them to lift the blockade; did you have to throw your weight around to make it happen?"
I shrug. "Well, maybe just a little," I tell him. "But I think things are under control now."
"I hope so," Han replies. "After getting into that get up again, I'd hate to think it was all for nothing."
"Yeah, me too," I mutter. "Speaking of which," I remove the helmet and set it on the floor of the shuttle and then reach behind me to remove the mask.
"That's better," I say, running my hands through my hair.
"Leia told me that you could have had surgery years ago and that you didn't need to live in that suit all that time," Hans says. "Is that true?"
"I think so, yes," I reply. "The medical technology that saved my life after the death of the Emperor is much like the technology that creates clones, and that has existed for more than 20 years."
"So Palpatine just wanted to keep you like that? Half machine?"
I nod. "Yes, that's probably exactly it," I concur. "I guess it made me more intimidating."
"No kidding," he mutters. "You'd think he'd have just cloned you, if the technology existed. I mean, they were cranking out clones by then, right?"
"Yes, that was when it all started," I reply. "The Clone Wars started 2 years before I became Darth Vader."
"Too bad those things don't have an off switch," he observes dryly.
I smile. "Yeah…"
"So where to, my Lord?" Han asks, checking the navi-computer.
"When I left them, they were still in the Modelle sector," I reply. "Perhaps we should try to raise them to make sure they're still there. I know Leia is quite anxious to hear from you," I add with a smile.
Han nods, smiling back. "Yeah, I'm sure." He activates the comm., and enters the code which I recognize as being that of my daughter's personal comlink. "Solo to her royal highnessness," he begins, and I laugh at his impudence "Come in your highnessness."
"Han!"
"Guess she heard me," he says to me with a grin.
"I guess so," I concur.
"Han are you alright? Where are you? Is my father there? Is he alright?"
"Whoa, slow down sweetheart! We're both here, we're both fine, and we're on our way to see you. Send us your coordinates."
"You're coming here?" she asks the surprise and delight evident in her voice. "How did you get off of Coruscant?"
"Your dad," replies Han. "Handy guy to have around."
I hear Leia's laughter through the comm., and I smile at the sound of it.
"Are you there, Dad?"
"Yes, Leia," I reply. "I'm here. It's good to here your voice."
"Yours too. We've all been so worried about you! Thank you, Dad…thank you for finding Han."
I smile. "I promised you I would, didn't I?" I ask her. "I'd never promise my little girl something I couldn't do."
"I know, but thank you anyway. I'm transmitting the coordinates right now."
"Got 'em," replies Han. "We'll be there in….26 hours by my reckoning."
"I can't wait to see you," Leia replies. "Both of you."
"We'll see you soon, sweetheart," Han replies. "Solo out."
He enters the coordinates into the navi computer and looks over at me. "All set?"
I check the hyper drive read out. "All set," I reply. "Here we go."
I can feel the tension in my body drain away as we draw closer to the Rebel fleet. It is as though the very proximity to the Imperial influence is hazardous, like the poisonous fumes of Mustafar. Leaving the Imperial fleet is like breathing fresh clean air after suffocating in filth and pestilence.
Leia has obviously alerted the fleet to our approach, for we encounter no resistance despite the fact that we are arriving in an Imperial vessel. The hangar door opens to receive us as our ship is detected, and Han skillfully directs the vessel into the waiting bay.
"Well done," I tell him as I stand up.
"It was nothing," he replies, standing as well. "Could do it in my sleep."
I smile. "I know what you mean."
"Something tells me you were a real hot shot pilot in your day, Anakin," he says as we prepare to disembark.
I lift an eyebrow. "In my day?" I repeat. "What am I, an archaeological artifact?"
Han laughs. "No, of course not. I didn't' mean that..."
"I'll show you a trick or two one of these days, Solo," I tell him affably.
Han grins. "I think I'd enjoy that."
As the ramp descends, we see Leia, Luke and Padmé waiting for us. Leia's face lights up upon seeing her betrothed, and she runs to meet him. They meet in a tight embrace, reminiscent of similar moments I have shared with my own beloved. Luke comes over to greet Han as well, and the two friends embrace warmly.
I turn to see Padmé, her serene face radiant with a smile that sends a thrill down to my very toes. I walk over to her, trying to hold back from running, hoping that the feelings I sensed in her mere days ago have not waned in my absence.
"Hello Padmé," I say with a smile. "It's good to see you."
"It's good to see you too, Ani," she replies. "We've all been so concerned."
Our brief moment alone is interrupted by our children, who both come at me with enormous hugs.
"I've only been gone two days," I tease them.
"It seems longer knowing where you were," Luke replies. "It's good to have you back with us, Dad."
I smile at my son. "Thanks, Luke. It's good to be back."
The five of us leave the hangar, my children bombarding Han with questions, Padmé walking along beside me. I tentatively reach down for her hand, and am delighted to feel her grasp in mine.
"There's so much I need to tell you," I say to her. "Things are certainly more complicated than I had believed."
She nods in understanding. "What of the blockade? Were you able to do anything about that?"
I nod. "Yes, the blockade has been lifted. Coruscant is free."
"That's wonderful, Ani!" she replies, looking up at me with a smile.
My heart fills at the sight of it, the look in her eyes, and the warm emotions I feel from her. For a moment our eyes lock, the feelings that I had believed were extinguished long ago starting to smolder up between us. I know that she feels it too, for her cheeks redden slightly, and she looks away.
"You must be anxious to get out of that awful suit," she says. "It must be terrible having to wear it again. How did you manage to convince them that you are Vader?"
I shrug. "Well, I wasn't there that long," I remind her. "Although I did have some rather intense moments in my short time there."
"Intense?" she asks. "What exactly does that mean?"
"Let's just say that my acting abilities have already been put to the test," I tell her.
"Oh Ani, I do not like the sound of that," she replies, a crease forming on her brow.
"Relax," I assure her, bringing her hand to my mouth and planting a quick kiss on it. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."
Padmé sighs. "How many times have I heard that before?"
I laugh. "Quite a few I'd wager. What has been happening here?"
"Not a lot," she tells me. "We've all been waiting to hear from you, Anakin, to learn what you have found out."
"Well I will fill you all in once I get out of this damnable suit," I tell her. "The thought of a nice hot shower is very appealing right now as well."
She smiles. "Yes, I'm sure. You can use the 'fresher in my quarters, I'll show you the way."
Arranging to meet up with the others shortly, I walk away with Padmé towards the crew quarters.
"Lando arranged some nicer quarters," she tells me. "It's not exactly luxurious, but it's nice to have a little more privacy."
"Yes, I'm sure," I agree.
We reach her quarters, and enter the small room. There is a small bed, a table and chair, with an adjoining 'fresher.
"They must know you were once a queen, otherwise they'd not be spoiling you with such luxury," I tease her.
Padmé laughs. "Yes, I feel like I'm back in the palace on Naboo." She stops, and I see a look of sadness pass through her eyes.
"You miss Naboo, don't you?" I ask her softly.
She looks up at me and nods. "Yes, I'd love to go back there some day. I'd love to see my family there…it's been so long."
I take her hand and smile at her. "You will, Padmé, we will go there together. Once all this is behind us, we will have a whole life time to spend there if you wish."
"I would like that very much," she replies with a smile. "I only hope that this masquerade doesn't have to go on for too long. Every day you have to wear that suit, every moment you are pretending to be that monster…" she stops as the emotions fill her.
I take her by the shoulders. "Padmé, it will not last much longer, I promise you. I have learned something that will enable me to end the civil conflict sooner than I had ever imagined. It's just that…I'm not sure I can do it," I tell her as I walk over to the small chair. I sit down heavily on it, the weight of the armor as oppressive as the pressures that I feel.
Padmé walks over to me, a look of concern on her face. "What do you mean, Ani?" she asks. "What did you learn?"
I look up at her as I unclasp the heavy chain holding the cape in place. "I found Palpatine's last will and testament," I tell her.
She moves to help me with the shoulder armor. "Oh?" she asks. "How did you come across that?"
"I went to his apartment on Coruscant," I tell her. "It was hidden there; no one had thought to look for it I guess."
"And? What did it say?" she asks as she helps me lift the armor away from my shoulders.
"He named me as his heir and successor, Padmé," I tell her. "Me."
She frowns. "You? Or Darth Vader?"
"Well, Darth Vader of course," I reply. "Can you believe it?"
"Yes, I can believe it," she says quietly. "Who else would he name? You were all the man had in the galaxy, as ironic as that is to say."
I nod as I proceed to remove the heavy gauntlets and gloves. "I suppose so," I reflect. "But what am I supposed to do? On the one hand, if I accept this, it will put me in a position to end the war, to put a stop to the conflict that has plagued the galaxy for over 20 years now."
"But?" she asks, helping me remove the second glove.
"But what if that much power is too much?" I continue, looking up at her, searching in her eyes for the answers I need. "What if I'm not strong enough to resist the temptation of that much power, Padmé? What if it destroys me all over again?"
Padmé as silent as she takes the gloves from me and places them on the table. "That is something only you can answer, Anakin," she replies at last. "You must search within yourself for the answers, for only you know what you are capable of, only you know how much you can withstand."
I reach to her and turn her around to face me. "Help me, Padmé," I implore her softly. "Help me make the right decision! I'm so afraid of making the wrong one; I would rather go through the fires of Mustafar all over again before I did anything to hurt you or our children again!"
Padmé's eyes moisten at my words, and she places a hand on my face. "You won't hurt us, Anakin," she tells me with a soft smile. "I know that now. You are not the same man you were 22 years ago, not subject to the same temptations, the same weaknesses. The trials you have suffered because of your fall have taught you well, and I sincerely doubt you will fall victim to the darkness again."
"If only I could be sure," I tell her, looking down. "If only I knew that I could do this without compromising who I am, I would do it in a heartbeat. Think of it, Padmé; I could call a truce, dismantle the imperial fleet, put our children and their allies in positions of power, put an end to the exploitation and misery of the thousands of worlds who are still under the thumb of the Empire…and then, once it was all accomplished, relinquish the power, make the office of emperor obsolete forever."
Padmé smiles. "That sounds wonderful," she says. "Like a dream come true. But you and I both know that dreams seldom turn out the way we expect them too."
I sigh, and run my hand over my face in a gesture of frustration. "I know," I tell her softly. "So what an I to do, then?"
Padmé runs her hands lightly through my hair. "Sleep on it," she suggests. "Talk to the children about it, talk to the rebel leaders; don't shoulder this alone, Ani. You know how many people you have supporting and loving you, lean on us for help."
I look up at her. "You always did know what to do in a crisis, didn't you?" I tell her with a smile.
She smiles softly. "Well, I was a queen you know," she reminds me. "And a senator. We are trained to deal with crises."
"And you were married to a stubborn, pig-headed Jedi as well," I tease her with a smile. "That was more challenging than all your political duties put together."
She laughs. "Well, not all of the time, Ani," she replies, looking down at me. "There were many wonderful times too."
"Yes, there were," I tell her, meeting her gaze. Hesitantly I reach my hands up and encircle them on her slender waist. Silently I draw them along the sides of her body, following the curves of her hips and then back up again, my eyes traveling with them, drinking in the sensual beauty of her. When I look back up into her eyes, I see there that my touch is affecting her as much as hers affects me. I pull her closer, desperate to touch her, and feel her hands slide around behind my neck as I draw her into my lap. Our faces mere centimeters apart now, I bring my mouth down to hers, softly, gently, with a feather soft kiss. She closes her eyes as our lips meet, and then opens them as I pull back from her.
"Ani?" she asks. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong," I tell her. "I just don't want to push you. I understand that you…"
She stops me with a finger over my lips. "You aren't pushing me, Anakin," she tells me softly. "I promise you." She wraps her arms around my neck again and pulls me back to her. When our lips meet this time, there is no hesitation, no holding back. I feel my own passion reflected in hers, and for the moment, the past is erased, and we are merely a man and a woman deeply in love. As Padmé's fingers curl around my hair, I let my own hands roam up and down her back, as the intensity of our kiss increases. My mouth leaves hers and I bring it to her ear. "I need you Padmé," I whisper, followed by a kiss on her earlobe. I hear her sigh as my lips travel down the side of her neck, grazing her soft skin, the scent of her driving me wild with wanting her.
Suddenly the door chime is heard. Padmé pulls back, a look of alarm in her eyes. I look up at her, frustrated by the interruption.
"Guess we'd better see who it is," she says, getting off my lap. She walks over to the door as I gather my senses, trying to slow my racing heart.
"Hi there, Padmé," I hear Lando Calrissian's voice. "Is Anakin here?"
"Yes, he is," she says. "Did you need to see him?"
"I just wanted to let him know that we've heard from Mon Mothma. She and Admiral Ackbar will be here in a few hours."
"Thank you, Lando," I hear her say. The door slides closed again. Padmé returns to me, a smile on her face.
"That was ill timed," she says wryly.
I laugh. "You could say," I reply. We stand and look at one another for a moment, the embers still smoldering. Yet we both realize that this isn't the time…as much as we both need and want one another, this will have to wait for later.
"Well, I should get out of this," I say, looking down at the leather suit.
"Alright," she says. "I'll let you get cleaned up."
I nod, wishing ardently that our magical moment had not been cut short.
She rises on her tip toes to give me a soft kiss on my mouth. "We'll finish this later," she tells me softly. I smile at her, and then watch her leave. With a sigh of disappointment I head for the 'fresher, where I know the shower I enjoy will be somewhat colder than I had originally planned.
