October 4th, 2001

Dear Diary,

The doctor saw my cuts today. I told him that my cat scratched me… but he didn't believe me. He asked me why I would do something so… "Heartless". I just started crying.

I am heartless… I've been hurting myself… for what? He won't love me for this… he won't love my bleeding wounds… I must stop this. I can't cut anymore. I HAVE to stop… I can't hurt him.

Later…

Dear Diary,

Oh God… Why? Why does this hurt so much? I can't stop thinking about that cool blade sitting in my dresser… I want it… I want it so bad… I want to hurt… I want to feel pain… I want to feel the pain I feel inside… it hurts so much…

I can't do this by myself… I need him… where is he?