October 6th, 2001

Dear Diary,

Mom and Dad want me to live with grandmother… they say I need a new environment… but I CAN'T! I need to wait here for him… what if he comes back… and I'm not here… no one here remembers him…

Mom and Dad get mad whenever I talk about him. Mom cries all the time now. I guess they weren't expecting this when they adopted me… I wish I could just go to my real parents… they'd understand me. I hate being here… being unloved… I wish they could just understand…

I still don't sleep very much and cutting is getting harder to quit. I have been cut free for 48 hours… and counting. Hopefully I can end this. I know I must get better… I must get better for him… I need to be at my best to help him. Not… this…