Chapter 7 - Make Me Smile
She smiled as his mouth moulded over hers, her hands roaming up and down his torso, gently tracing the seam of his wife beater with her fingertips. He softly grabbed her hand, linking her fingers with his, before she pulled away, reaching for her top and pulling it over her head…
She quickly awakened, abruptly as her dream came to a sudden stop, with a slight smile on her face. Rolling over and reaching a hand out expecting to find Ryan, her hand hit the soft mattress, and she suddenly realised he wasn't there. Pulling her fluffy quilt tightly over herself, Marissa squinted in the dark as she tried in vain to look at her clock which was situated on her bedside table. Sighing, she swung her legs over the side of her bed and let her feet touch the cold floor, and switching on her lamp. Glancing at the clock, she made out that it was 12:55 a.m. She rubbed her forehead, wincing from the bright, artificial light the lamp brought, quickly flicking it off again before rolling over in her bed to face the lilac coloured wall which looked like a dark grey in the darkness. She hugged a cushion to herself, trying to create the warmth and comfort she had felt earlier with Ryan. Biting her lip, she realised it was all her fault as one single tear left her eye and slid gently down her face. Marissa wiped it quickly away as she closed her eyes, although unable to get him out of her mind. Rolling over she stared blankly up at the ceiling, wishing she had done things differently. Ryan had made a huge sacrifice to come and visit, she thought, and all you did was throw it back into his face. She sniffed, thinking about how pathetic she must look lying in the cold bed crying, when they could have been taking advantage of the empty house whilst her father was out for the night. Turning her pillow over again, her thoughts managed to cloud her brain and she realised she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.
Marissa got up from her bed, walking over to the window, and pulling it shut tightly, keeping the harsh wind out as it began to rain. She watched as the droplets of water pounded against her window, seemingly matching her cloudy mood. Shivering slightly, she wrapped her arms around herself, thinking about the nights previous events. She knew she had no right to blow up at Ryan over Courtney, but she couldn't help it. The fact he was here, but in the other room made her feel colder even after she had shut the window. After pacing her room for a couple more minutes, she realised the only thing she could do was to try and make things right.
Ryan turned over on the sofa, curling up his legs so they would fit on the small chair. He could hear the rain hammering against the window in the lounge, although it wasn't that which was keeping him awake. The thoughts of a blonde, blue eyed girl who was coincidentally lying asleep in the next room consumed him, making it unable for him to finally let his eyelids drop and lay his head against the pillow she had so 'kindly' chucked at him. Frustrated with himself, he kicked off the covers which lay haphazardly across his body, and sat upright, staring into the darkness. He always screwed things up. It was as if it was in his blood, his nature. It wouldn't necessarily be his fault, but Ryan felt as if the blame always fell on him anyway. This time Ryan knew it was his fault, and yet he couldn't muster up the courage to go in there and apologise to the only girl he would apologise to for anything he had done. Thinking back to his previous actions that night, he realised that he could have taken Marissa's feelings into consideration a little more. A lot more, his conscience told him, as he tried to shake his head to clear it. Unable to do so, he got up, beginning to pace the length of the room as he let his thoughts overtake him. Would Marissa ever talk to him? Would she ignore him? What if….she made him go home? His mind drew conclusions and he realised the only thing he wanted to do right now was to hug her, hold her and tell her he loves her. Because he did, he knew he did. Marissa was the only girl that could make him like this, to travel over half the country just to see her, to be up all night thinking about her. Running his hand through his hair, he decided to go grab a glass of water, getting something to focus on and to hopefully calm him down.
Walking quietly into the kitchen adjoining the lounge, Ryan fumbled for the light switch that was on the wall next to the door frame. The light bulb which hung from the ceiling lit, filling the room with dim light. Ryan looked around the kitchen, taking it all in. He thought it looked pretty nice considering they had only just moved in. He noticed Marissa's little touches trying to make it a little homier, the flower on the table, new blinds on the windows and bright little prints that lined the walls. He smiled a little as he noticed a photograph of himself and Marissa lying together in the park stuck to the fridge, poking out from behind a magnet. Ryan leant back onto the counter, picking up his glass of water, running his finger around the rim of the glass before he felt the icy cold water slide down his throat as he took a sip. The water had a calming effect on him as he stared out of the blinds and into the starry night sky. He wished that everything between him and Marissa would be easy, but he knew it would never come true. Obstacles came, and went as they overcame them, together, but there they were, hanging in an indeterminate state, as neither of them learned how to communicate with one another properly. Ryan knew that he was the biggest part of the problem. It wasn't just the 'Courtney' thing, it was everything. Everything in the relationship was a struggle, especially recently, and all he wanted was for her to be happy. For them to be happy. Together.
A noise from inside the lounge made Ryan turn his head towards the door, where he saw Marissa leaning against the doorframe, her hands by her side, just watching him. His eyes lit up, but he was careful to try and hide it. Marissa looked up, attempting a smile as she moved a couple of paces closer.
"Ry…" Marissa whispered quietly, fiddling with her fingers as she tried to look him in the eye. "I'm so sorry…"
"Its okay, its okay…it was my fault." Ryan replied, stepping forward to wrap his arms around her and softly running his hands up and down her waist. Marissa smiled slightly as she leaned into his embrace, placing her hands around his shoulders and resting her head on his chest.
"So…." Marissa pulled back, smiling, taking her hands and wrapping them around Ryan's, gently rubbing his palms. "I figured since we made up, you can come back into my bed…" Ryan laughed softly.
"Are you sure?" Marissa nodded, gently grabbing his hand again, leading him back towards her bedroom. She smiled as he opened her door and let her walk in first, before she stood in front of the door, closing it. Ryan was standing in the corner with his hands by his side, and Marissa walked over to her bed, laying down on it and patting the space next to her, gesturing for Ryan to lie down with her. Ryan lay down beside her, gently placing a hand on her waist, pulling the covers over the two of them. Finally content, Marissa leant her head against his chest, tangling their legs together as she pulled the covers tighter around their bodies, sighing happily.
"I feel like we've been together forever." Marissa stated quietly, adjusting her head so she could look up into Ryan's eyes. Ryan laughed softly.
"So, we're like an old married couple?" He replied, gently stroking her hair as she smiled.
"Something like that." She replied, quietly as she rested her head back on Ryan's chest. They lay in silence for a few minutes; their breathing in perfect sync as their chests rose and fell. Marissa slowly felt her eyes begin to close, just as Ryan whispered something into her ear.
"I always dreamt we would live in a house near the sea…" Ryan's breath brushed her earlobes as he whispered into her ear. Marissa turned, and leant her head upwards on Ryan's chest, her mouth curving into a smile.
"Ryan Atwood, dreaming huh?" Marissa replied softly, as Ryan turned his head away, embarrassed. Marissa leant over and gently brought it back to its original position. "I think that's really sweet." Ryan smiled, gently leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips, before moving to rest in their original position.
"Can we have a puppy?" Marissa's voice softly broke the silence, as Ryan couldn't help but let a grin spread across his face before replying.
"Sure, but remember Seth's allergic…"
"Who cares?" Marissa laughed gently at her answer as Ryan smiled. "It'll just be me and you, right?"
"Of course…and we'll have two little girls which look exactly like you." Marissa looked up again.
"Kids?"
"Well yeah…in my dream anyway…" Ryan felt his face blush once again as Marissa let out her soft laugh. He had never opened up to anyone like this, and even in this situation, he couldn't help but feel a little sentimental.
"Ry, we're still in high school…" Marissa nudged Ryan gently as she smiled, snuggling into his shoulder even further.
"Seniors in high school…" Ryan playfully nudged her back, tickling her underneath her ear. Marissa laughed again softly, as the couple fell back into their peaceful silence, neither one of them having to say anything.
♥
A/N:- Review if you want me to continue and apoligiesfor the shortness and crappy-ness. : )
