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Top Ten Questions We'd Ask the Cast II

Another Day. Another Interview.

I stood at ease and regarded the small group of teens in front of me. Ozai, Iroh and Zhao are absent. No one can say I didn't learn from my mistakes.

"Avatarians; welcome to the headquarters of Baal Industries. I'm your host La Femme and I hope you enjoy today's conference."

"Will you please take these anti-bending pills" I held out the red pills but no one made a move to take them. I gave a shrug, "Well, I had to try".

"Where is the guy in black?" Zuko asked looking into the boardroom.

"Baal? He is in a meeting" I looked at the faces of Zuko and Katara, and was pleased to see that they were relieved. "He caused too many problems last time and we didn't make any progress so I thought we should exclude him from this discussion."

"Finally, you show signs of intelligence." Zuko sneered.

"Please take your seats," I said ignoring him and stepping into the boardroom. When everyone was settled down, I began, "As you can see, we have new members in our little 'club'."

"Who's that idiot?" Zuko said pointing at Jet who flashed his hooks menacingly.

"Zuko meet Jet. Jet meet Zuko." I started the introductions.

"Everyone this is Haru, Haru everyone." I said pointing at Haru.

"Everyone Suki, Suki everyone." Suki gave a small smile. Zuko gave her a full-blown glare.

"Suki? Weren't you the one the Baal guy was talking about?" Zuko said looking at Sokka.

Sokka blushed. Suki blushed. Zuko laughed. I immediately intervened.

"Ok, first question to Haru. Will you and your father be seen in Ba Sin Sei?"

"Yes, but how did you know that? My father, along with the other benders, is going to Ba Sin Sei to help with the war. We believe that the Earth Nation capital will be the first place the fire lord will attack when he gets power from the comet."

"Yes that was a very beautiful answer, but it was rather boring. Therefore, I'll ask you another question. Why do you look like a girl?"

"Do I?" Haru asked adjusting his bandana.

"Yeah I mean you have better hair than Pamela Anderson. What's your secret? "

"I dunno. Maybe it's because my mother brushes it every night? A hundred strokes." Haru shrugged modestly.

"I wish my mom was like that." I said but I'm cut short by Zuko's derisive snort.

Ever the diplomat I keep my peace "Any thing troubling you Zuko?"

"Yeah. I can't help but wonder what your mother would brush?" the scarred Prince points out my short bangs.

"Ladies and gentleman you have witnessed a classic case of a pot calling the kettle black." I smile, reaching out to tap Zuko's shaven head, (and retract my fingers as a jet of flame misses them by inches.)

"Pot?" Aang gives me a weird look. I start laughing remembering our fanfic Why you shouldn't sniff Iroh's stuff.

"Kettle?" Sokka raises an eyebrow.

"Oh that's right." Katara fires up. "You don't know what a kettle is. Because you're the warrior and you don't have time to help in the kitchen. So let's just leave the cleaning up and the cooking to the girls and go off to battle the forces of evil. Right Sokka?" She finishes her passionate monologue with a knock to her brothers oddly shaped head.

"Hey" Sokka grumbles.

"Watch it!" Suki stands up. "Katara show your brother some respect. Just because the safety of his entire tribe has fallen on his strong shoulders does not give you any right to hassle him about not helping out with your chores. I myself don't know how to cook or clean. The men of our village do all the house work."

"Well then you're perfect for my brother aren't you? I'd love to see your house. It'll look no better than a pig sty and smell worse than Zuko's breath."

"Hey" yells Zuko, but to be on the safe side he holds up his hand to his mouth and exhales….and promptly faints.

"STOP right there!" I pound the table and the noise subsides. I walk over to a filing cabinet and return with some business cards. "Suki here's the number of a professional maid. Katara here's the address of a 'Women's rights Organization.' And Zuko…" here I look down upon the sprawled form of the unconscious Prince. I allow the card to flutter down to his prone body. "Zuko here's a free voucher for a life time's supply of Miracle breath mints."

"Thanks" Suki and Katara say at the same time.

"Ok, a question to our dear Zula. Why do you hate your brother so much?"

Zula returns to her seat after beating Zuko to pulp.

"What did you say? How can you say such a thing! I love him the way my esteemed father does! I don't know what gave you the idea that I hate him!" Zula replied sweetly.

"Ah, yes that was quite a convincing answer. So tell me, if you love him the way your father loves him, then where's the scar that you gave him?" I said smirking.

"Believe me you don't want to know!" Zula let out a hideous laugh.

"Hey La Femme!" Baal enters the room and sees all the people. His face darkens.

"What's the meaning of this betrayal? Who called these people to my boardroom?" he shouts as he looks around the room. He suddenly spots Zuko's unmoving body, lunges at him, and proceeds to smash him on the head with his briefcase.

I come over and pull him off. "C'mon Baal, don't act like a kid!" That puts an end to the fight.

He takes off his coat, throws it over Zuko, and takes his seat. He looks around imperiously.

"Hi there Jet! How many old people have you killed lately?" Baal smirks when he sees Jet go red.

"I have flooded another village, and failed yet again," Jet said sadly.

"Yes, the fire nation has you recorded as the worlds ugliest and worst warrior, next to Sokka." Baal said.

"Hey!" Sokka retorted and was about to jump on him when Suki threw a blade edged fan at Baal that nearly cut his head off.

"Don't say such a thing about Sokka ever! He's a good warrior!" Suki said glaring at Baal.

"I wouldn't want to come between you two. But when I say what I have to say you won't be defending Sokka for much long," Baal said plucking the fan out of his chair.

"What have you got to say?" Suki said looking at Sokka. Sokka looked away.

"Sokka will dump y—"

I cut him off. "Why don't you try asking some questions instead of handing out heart breaks?"

"But, that'll be boring" Baal said glancing around for his next victim. Suddenly…

"My, my, doesn't someone look good today…" Baal purred looking straight at Katara.

Katara looked at Baal suspiciously but when his gaze did not waver she blushed a little, but it was short lived because just then Baal completed his sentence.

"…NOT! You're the most un-sexy thing I have ever seen in my life!" Baal laughed before getting out of his chair and holding the unconscious Zuko as a human shield while Katara pounded away blindly.

While Katara and Baal had their fight, I turned to Suki.

"Do you think that your relationship with Sokka was meant to be?"

"I think so, even though it was a small kiss to the cheek" Suki blushed.

"Ok, who else is there?" I asked looking around. A hand came up from under the table.

"Aang, what is being the Avatar like?" I asked pulling him from under the table and seating him on a baby chair.

"Well, you feel powerful" Aang said simply.

"Besides that?" I said patiently.

"You feel strong," Aang said.

"Besides that?" I asked losing patience.

"I feel as if I have a large load on my shoulders," Aang said looking at his shoulders. "Oh wait there IS a load on my shoulders" Aang said and threw down the 10 ton weights that Baal had just kept on him.

Baal joined my side once again.

"Do you cry when you remember Monk Gyatso?" Baal asked looking at Aang.

"Sometimes. We were more than friends" Aang replied. Baal's eyes widened but before he could say anything, I immediately left my seat and hugged him. Katara came over and pried my hands off him.

"Leave him alone! He's mine!" Katara said a murderous glint in her eye.

"So you finally confess? Katara likes Aang!" Baal got on the table and started singing "Katara and Aang sitting on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-ump!"

Katara swept Baal's feet off the tabletop and stuffed all the business cards in his mouth.

"Ok Ok, so you don't like Aang. Will you two follow Aang to the ends of the fire nation?" I ask pulling Baal back to his chair.

"I can't say, if he ever hides something from us ever again… or if we die" Sokka said in his off hand manner.

"I will accompany Aang until the moment he meets with the Fire Lord." Katara said proudly. Aang gave her his charming smile.

"Yeesh! What a lie! The moment Zuko gives you a chance to marry him and be his banished princess you will lure Aang in to a trap and let Zuko capture him." Baal looks at the ugly expression on Katara, the dangerous look on Sokka's face, and the uncertain and suspicious look on Aang's face and continues. "You will betray Aang and your brother without blink or a backward glance, in short you are a—"

Just then, Zuko jumped on Baal and while punching him shouted, "I will NOT marry the water PEASENT GIRL!"

"YES YOU WILL! YOU ARE A TRAITOR KATARA!" Baal shouts over Zuko's punches.

Katara came over Baal and started to hit him too.

"I WILL NEVER BETRAY AANG! I LO—" Katara stopped in mid sentence. Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at Katara. She blushed madly.

"What did you say, Katara?" Sokka said.

"Did you say that you love me?" Aang said his overly large eyes going even bigger and falling of his chair. (It seemed as if he shrunk a little too)

"Katara loves the short brat?" Baal muttered his mouth agape. "This meeting is getting too weird, let's go everyone." This time there were no arguments.

However, before anyone could even get up I began to speak.

"Hey Guys as usual my last question is open to the floor…."

"Fine, then the floor can have it." Zuko snarls.

I finally lose my temper…

"That's it, you spoilt brat. I'm older than you and I don't have to take your SHIT. I may admire your bad boy tendencies and that dangerous edge you've got going on is yummy. But I will NOT tolerate any of your whining. Am I CLEAR? If you so much as twitch in your seat I'll drag you to the dungeons and electrocute the daylights out of you. In case you don't know what electricity is you narrow minded simpleton, imagine a thousand bolts of lightening coursing through your veins and burning you from the inside, get it?"

Complete silence greeted my words. Everyone was looking at me wearily. Katara whispered something to Baal. He grins. "Yeah she's like this all the time. The smiles and the handshakes were all for your benefit. Pity me mates. 24/7 of this; no wonder I'm so messed up."

"Let's get on with it." I smile. No one falls for it. "I'm going to quote something and you should finish the sentence as you see fit."

"When God was giving out brains you were…" I spread out my hands and wait.

Sokka scratches his head, "at the loo"

"Probably out hunting the Avatar." Zuko mutters reluctantly.

"The first in line." Zula smirks.

"When God was giving out brains I was…is this a trick question?" Katara queried.

"Answer please." I insist.

"I was skinning seals."

"I was skinning Fire benders." Jet winked.

"Polishing my fans." Suki shrugged.

" Did that happen in the last hundred years cuz I was probably stuck in the ice."

Baal laughed. "Boy what a bunch of idiots. They actually fell for that."

"Give them a break Baal." I smirk. "They don't even know who God is."

"But they know what brains are right?"

"This meeting is officially over!" I declare and turn on my heel. Thankfully when God was handing out brains I stole a pair. Because right now I desperately needed a replacement.

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Hello Dudes and Dudettes,

Hee hee hee. How'd you like this one?

Anywayz Chapter 3 is coming on and that will have a different tune.(hint: the "grown ups have some down time") So stay tuned for that.

We love this story and we'd be thrilled if you loved it too. So please review. Your reviews make ideas crawl out of the cob-webbed crevices of our minds. (Baal says to make it clear that only MY mind contains any such insect infestation. Lol)

So please leave us a line of inspiration.

Thanks a bunch,

La Femme & Lord Baal