October 9th, 2001

Dear Diary,

He is thinking of me… right now. I can feel his connection. I can feel him… like his eyes are on me. I know he is… it has been so long and I know he is thinking about me. I can almost feel him again… laying on the beach next to me… his hand holding mine… so many memories.

I wish he was here with me… I feel so alone again. I woke up crying again last night… this time I was sobbing. I don't remember my dream… but he was in it. Something happened. I wish I could remember.

Today was mom's birthday. Dad asked me to come down to celebrate with grandmother and everyone… but I just couldn't… I couldn't leave his presence… he is too close to me now…