Yay! I've got another chapter up! I'm doing pretty good with this one; I do hope you like.


Disclaimer: Paradise Kiss is property of Yazawa Ai and not me. Sorry, you can't sue me. Besides, I'm broke.

Strings

by Boomerang Butterfly

Chapter 2

"Reality"

Yukari slowly wiggled her booted foot underneath the table of the café where she and Arashi attempted to eat breakfast the next morning. It wasn't really so much of eating as it was sipping tea and sulking, staring absently at the sidewalk or the newspaper or the table. They were quiet, trying desperately to ignore the cold, but bright and sunny December morning, the delicious smell of the warm cinnamon rolls, the cheeriness of the pretty waitress that served them. It was as if, because they were miserable, the whole world around them should have been.

But at least they had each other.

At the moment, though, neither was really thinking about each other, caught in their own misery. Misery loves company, but it's still rather selfish at times. And this was just one of those times. Regardless of how much he'd thought and thought and thought some more about his situation, Arashi had to think some more. The more he thought, the more it hurt, and for the oddest of reasons, he wanted it to. He needed to remind himself how it felt to be this despondent so he'd never feel this way again. He wanted to face it head on, get it all over now, so he could move on.

Only thing was, he wasn't very sure it would work or not. And yet, he sat with the hot cup of tea between his hands, staring at the sidewalk but not seeing it, torturing himself over and over again, hearing Miwako's words ring through his ears.

"I'm leaving…Arashi, I'm leaving. I'm sorry but…Miwako loves Hiro so much! I could never stop loving him…"

And she had cried, after she finished her speech, and that was probably what had hurt the most. She was leaving him because she loved another man, and he couldn't exactly blame her. Hiro had what he didn't; a stable job, a warm house where the heater didn't go out, a bright future. And to put the cherry on the ice cream, so to speak, he loved her. He genuinely loved her. Everyone knew that they'd been childhood sweethearts. But so had she and Arashi. It was only a case of who had more to offer, he thought, and stirred the tea for the hundredth time, actually lifting his eyes for the first time to look at his equally miserable companion.

Misery loved Yukari as well.

She looked so dejected, so stung, though with all her pride and glory she was trying to hide it. Of course, Yukari had always had a hard time hiding anything. She wore her feelings on her sleeves for the world to see. And right now, anyone could see how miserable she was. Arashi, afraid she'd catch him staring, looked away for a minute, but then back at her, as she stared blankly at the newspaper but wasn't reading. She was merely staring, not even thinking, just existing at that moment as she mechanically lifted her elegant hand and bit slowly into her cinnamon roll.

"I'm trying not to think about it", she said suddenly, catching him off guard. "Oh," he muttered as a reply and looked back over at the sidewalk. "I have a feeling you aren't doing a good job, though." She looked up at him and then back down at the newspaper. "How well you know me, Arashi," she said quietly with a strange smile.

Smiling?

How in the world was she smiling at a time like this?

Arashi frowned and picked up his uneaten roll, propping his chin up on his free palm and taking a bite. He studied her for a moment, watching the creepy curve of her mouth until it wavered and trembled and fell into a harsh frown, her eyes closing to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

So that's how…

"I want to forget, Arashi."

"I know. But, ya can't really, ya know…"

"And so you're dwelling on it, reveling in the pain of it while it's still fresh on your mind?"

Arashi took another bite and sat silent for a few moments, trying to think of a way to explain. "No," he finally said after he swallowed and took another sip of tea. "I'm…I'm purging it out m'system. If I don't do it now, I never will." Another sip of tea, another bite of roll.

Yukari mulled over his statement, then took a nimble bite of her roll. "It sounds ridiculous to me," she said flatly. "Why in the world would you want to go on torturing yourself like that? It doesn't make any sense." "Why would you try forgettin' when ya know you couldn't?" he said simply. Yukari put down her roll and stared down at the paper again. "Because it hurts too much," she murmured and unsuccessfully blinked back a fresh onslaught of tears. Arashi sighed and looked away, placing his hand awkwardly on top of hers and giving it a squeeze.

Not knowing what to say, they remained silent the rest of breakfast, splitting the tab and staring at the sidewalk again.


It was cold in Arashi's apartment when they walked in. Not knowing where else to go, Yukari had agreed to visit for a while. She was in no mood to look for another apartment, and definitely in no mood to talk to anyone.

Well, except Arashi. It was a whole lot easier to talk to someone who was going through what you were at the same time, even if that person wanted to deal with it in a different way. Face the pain head-on? What kind of remedy was that? Yukari only wanted this all just to go away. She wanted to forget how awful she felt. She wanted to forget the sting of betrayal, the pain of rejection, the hurt. It was enough that he'd been seeing another woman behind her back, but what made it worse was that it had been that way for two years. Two years of lies, of falsehoods and stories that she believed. Two years she thought she meant the world to him and she was just a liability. Why had he proposed if he'd been seeing another that long? Why had he asked to spend the rest of his life with her if he really loved another woman? And why, of all the people in the world, did that woman have to be her best friend? She'd been betrayed by not just one person, but two, doubling the sting of the infidelity almost the instant she thought of it. Plopping down on Arashi's couch, she buried her face in her hands and willed herself not to think about it anymore.

Just go away…just go away…I want it to go away…

Only problem was, she had a feeling it wasn't just going to go away.

Seconds later, a new batch of tears sprang forth from her eyes and ran in torrents down her cheeks, wetting her skirt and giving her a headache. A few seconds later and the couch caved in on the other side of her and an arm pulled her to a thin but warm and inviting body. A few seconds after that and she was sobbing freely in Arashi's lap, while he tilted his head back and massaged circles in her back, a cigarette poised between his lips, and his eyes closed to capture his own tears, though they leaked forward anyway.


"What time is it?" she asked groggily several hours later. Arashi, staring at the television with red rimmed eyes, sniffed and glanced at his watch. "About 3 in afternoon." Yukari sat up and looked around the room, taking comfort in the fact that every trace of Miwako was gone. There was no pink, no cute, no Happy Berry; just rock and roll and Arashi splayed all over the place. Thinking of Miwako made her think of Hiro…and thinking of the two of them together hurt. Bad. On the verge of tears again, just that quick, she blinked several times and rubbed her eyes, shaking her head as if trying to get the image out her head.

"Are ya hungry?" Arashi asked, his voice low in the dark room, the T.V. flickering against the walls. Yukari nodded and leaned back on the couch. "Starved." Arashi got up and walked into the kitchen. From the living room, she could hear him moving things around in the fridge. She began conjuring up what he could possibly have in his refrigerator-ketchup, soda, water, leftovers, freezer-burned ice cream in the freezer-and wound up successfully diverting her mind away from her current situation. She got so carried away, in fact, that she was just barely aware of her companion returning to the living room with a tray full of food. There was almost everything imaginable on that tray for making a good sandwich, and as if in approval, her empty stomach gave a low rumble.

"I didn't know what you wanted, so…"

"Thanks, it's fine," she said softly and picked up one of the plastic knives and a piece of thick wheat bread and began spreading mayonnaise on it. Arashi piled his bread high with three types of meat, various vegetables, and every condiment he had available. Yukari stared at him for a moment before chuckling and glancing down at her small sandwich of turkey, mayo, and lettuce.

"What's so funny?" he asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

Yukari shook her head and laughed some more as chunks of the sandwich flew out his mouth when he spoke. Arashi glared for a moment, but couldn't help but laugh himself. It was, in a strange way, a bit funny. They sat, eating and chuckling every now and then for a few minutes until the lunch was finished, then sat back and stared at the television.

"That felt good," he said and picked up the remote.

"Yeah," she agreed, still smiling a little, and wiped her mouth with a paper towel.


"Do you think we'll be alright?" she asked through tears minutes later.

"I dunno," he answered, gripping her hand in his and fighting the urge to scream.

The T.V. flickered off the walls and the sodas got hot and they still sat on his couch, watching T.V. but not watching it, hurting and crying.

"I dunno," he whispered an hour later to a numb Yukari, her head on his shoulder and his resting on top of hers.


Dinner was quieter than lunch. There was no laugh, no smile, no sweet break from their hurt. Instead they sat at the same couch and ate more sandwiches, washing it down with hot soda and silently staring at the T.V. again.

Then, it was 10 p.m. and Yukari had to go.

"Where you going to?"

"I dunno…"

She wouldn't go back to that apartment, even though she still had the key and the new people hadn't moved in yet. She wouldn't go to her mother's cause she wasn't ready to hear what she had to say yet. She wouldn't go to her brother's cause no doubt, his girlfriend was with him.

She had no where to go…she could only stay.

"I'll make your bed," he said when she trailed off, thinking of where she could spend the night. "I don't have any clothes," she said softly but silently thanked him and followed him toward the spare room. "Wear mine," he stated simply and gathered some sheets for the futon.


It was terribly nostalgic laying on that futon, staring at those walls, listening to the night outside in this apartment. Nostalgic from ten years before, when she was just a girl, when she was still naïve and innocent, when she began growing up. When she first felt what it was like to be free, when she fell in love, when she made real friends.

When Miwako became almost a sister and Hiro a trusted ally.

When Isabella made the best curry and George…when George was all she thought about.

And it had only been for a few days, but it had been beautiful.

Yukari, at 28, curled up underneath the same old thick blanket she had slept under at 18 and cried for ten years gone.

Arashi, at 28, curled up underneath the same old thick blanket he'd slept under since he was a kid and ached for ten years gone.

He ached for the simplicity of Paradise Kiss. He ached for Miwako.

But most of all, he ached for Yukari, who cried herself to sleep.


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