Takes place after issue # 37

Personally I have no idea how I to come to terms with what Tim and Cass did. I don't know because I would if I died, MY best friend wouldn't hook up with my lover. But I guess I know my best friend(s) wouldn't do that. (Well, 2 of them I'm sure to be honest).

So what I decided the best therapy would be to put myself in their shoes, so I did a one shot as Cassie right after the kiss. I hope I capture her state of mind well enough…

Disclaimer: Yeah, like if I could make money on fics or owned these characters, Id post my stories on a fansite…

A song that helped me find where Cass/Tim were emotionally during the kiss scene:

Sia – Breathe Me

"Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me"

Why. Why did he do that… or did she? No, it was him. He had to have done it because she would never do something so wrong. Oh Zeus, Conner if you were still alive...

But he wasn't. He was dead, gone. The past year has been hell coming to terms with that. Cassie has never felt so alone because of it. She missed him.

Cassandra Sandsmark, Wonder Girl, protégé of Wonder Woman and Troia. Well, she had been at least. Now she seemed to be more a force of her own, on her own. And curse her for thinking this, but if it weren't for Ares, even truly alone.

She came back to the Titans, perhaps to fill some great paralyzing void inside her. To ease this throbbing pain that threatened to consume her whole being. It scared her to think that she could no longer remember exactly how it felt to feel Conner's hand against her skin, his lips against hers…

Perhaps then it was she who did it. In a moment caught up with sorrow and loneliness and desperation… she reached out for something she needed, longed for. But Tim was not the person for it.

Et tu Cassandra?

She curls up, sitting on the roof, staring intently into the open bay, the San Francisco skyline glowing with the down cast mist capturing the moonlight. She remembers seeing it with Conner, flying with him, his hand in hers… she remembers feeling complete, as if she was no longer alone in the world. She felt like she knew herself with him. She thought he felt the same.

But no, he needed to get himself killed to find out who he was. Couldn't he find it in her? Couldn't he trust that she could not love a Lex Luthor or some clone of Superman. She loved a hero, the only other heart that was like hers… She loved Conner, Kon-el… Superboy.

But he wouldn't be the Conner she loved if he hadn't done what he did. If he ran away from it, he would not be Superboy. She only wished it hadn't taken his life.

"Cass… are you crying?" came a sudden intrusion through the night air.

She gasps and straightens up, surprised that she had, in fact, been sobbing insanely. Had the pain over come her so terribly? Had Tim torn open the wounds that had begun to heal so slowly? Was it wrong of her to have begun to let Conner go when Tim had not?

She tried to ease her breathing and relax but couldn't as she felt Vic come closer, his metal feet not nearly as noisy as most would expect. He knelt beside her and she effectively turned her face away. He frowned.

"Cass, we just… what happened?" Concern was thick in his baritone voice, confusion even more evident.

"I don't think I'm ready for this, Vic. I think I over estimated myself, I can't… be here. It's not the same without Conner." She murmured, closing her eyes. What have I done… what now?

He frowned, watching her. And in that moment, Victor Stone realized why he needed to be here. In the end, they were all just kids, even Tim. He sat down. And being teenagers, would be too stubborn to admit they needed help. But he was 'one of them' in their eyes and he could be the help they needed. Like she needed.

"Cassie, Conner wouldn't want you to be alone…"

"Then why did he leave me!" she cried out angrily. Vic frowned. "Why did everyone leave me! Conner, Tim, Bart, Donna, Diana and even you! I didn't choose to be alone, everyone abandoned me… why, Vic? Tell me why!" She trembled, covering her face. "I was so scared, so confused and in so much pain… so scared of where that pain would take me and so scared that I could never be happy again. And I can't. Vic, I can't be happy anymore…"

He reached out and pulled her suddenly into a surprisingly warm embrace. Given she couldn't sink into him as she did with Robin or anyone else but the impact was still oddly soothing… pacifying. She shudder and began to cry. "You can be happy, Cass, Conner would want you to be happy…"

"But… Tim…"

Victor's brow furrowed and tilted his head aside. "He would want Tim to be happy to. He loved you and Tim dearly, you obviously… and Tim as his brother."

She clenched her jaw, curling up and dreading this horrible confession, admitting to such a betrayal as could be done. "But… Victor I did … something… we did. We kissed and now-"

"Whoa, whoa, stop. Breath…" He pulled her back a little so she could look up at him, so he could see her conflict in her clear blue eyes. He frowns deeply. "You … and Tim?"

She winced and nodded. "… Yes."

He sighed and touched her cheek. "Cass… It doesn't mean your love for Conner is any less… in fact, it makes sense. I can't tell you whether or not it's ok…" He just couldn't make that judgment. On the one hand, if Conner were still alive and Tim and Cass locked lips, he'd be lost, betrayed, and pissed as all hell. But on the other hand he was not. And he left behind two people that needed him. They were mourning, alone and turned to each other. Who better then his best friend, who else would be good enough for Cass?

"Just… Remember… he's gone, he died a noble death, Cass, but he died nonetheless. And you loved him and love him still… it doesn't mean that that love won't change or that you can't love someone else. He'll always be… your first." He briefly remembered Roy and Dick and the loss of Donna…

Her… first. She briefly recalled- No… no more painful memories… She flushed and looked away.

"I don't know… if I'm comfortable with all this… Not with Tim."

"Perhaps it was just spontaneous?" he offer, not pushing the idea of her moving on, especially with Tim.

"… I don't know." She admitted softly.

Victor sighed and leaned back, shaking his head. Teenagers. "Talk to Tim. Not now, mind you… but you need to talk to him. You will only know when you two are honest with each other." It was the only thing he could offer.

She sighed and looked up. He touched her shoulder. "And Cass… you're not alone, not anymore. This is still Titans Tower… it can still be your home, if no one else, you have me. I won't leave you. And I don't think Tim wants to leave you again either."

"… I bet Rose wants to leave me." She murmured, her blue eyes looking back toward him.

Vic chuckled. "More like she wants you gone." He sighed at her brief attempt for casual jokes. It was nice. She closed her eyes.

"Thank you, Vic…"

"It's what I'm here for after all. My joints are feeling creaky, I'm going to go-"

"Good night, Vic."

"Night Cass…" He turned and left her there, stare gazing. She sighed and closed her eyes. When she was sure she was alone, she lifted up, flying up into the sky until the Tower below was a small strip of black. She embraced herself and sighed.

"Conner…"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I might be moving on, I'm sorry that I've lost hope of you ever coming back how I remember you. I'm sorry, above all, that… it's Tim. Perhaps it could have even been Bart if he had stayed." She laughed as the tears fell at her attempt at a joke. "Oh Conner… I won't forget you, no one will… but I wish you could tell me… tell me its ok, tell me that I can… let you go…"

But only silence responds to her… and a breeze that caresses her face and brushes her hair back. Silence. Always silence…

Ok, so I guess I can make sense of it, obviously. I just… I don't know if I want Tim and Cass as a couple. It's like, great, THEY had a year to get over it but I haven't! pout pout

Anyway, Reviews welcome