Mischief mage: Hey i found away around me breaking my computer. Using my parents computer. I decided to give this chapter a name, i will eventually get around to finding ones for the others...eventually.
Three shots of tranquiliser and one straight-jacket later, Duo was being relatively quiet, tied to a pillar in the corner of the main lounge. Wufei sat near by, staring at his tousle-haired fellow pilot. He was rubbing his wrist where three reddening teeth marks were, evidence of Duo's reluctance to being trussed up. It was saddening that this had been the only way to keep Duo from driving the dune hoppers over the roofs of the village, Wufei's regret for the situation shining out through his dark eyes…
I knew I should have asked Quatre for a rabies vaccine
"Wufei! Shall we get started?"
Wufei nodded and joined Quatre at the table that had been righted since Duo's explosion. Quatre had already set out his polished pieces. His very polished pieces. Wufei stared. The pieces had so many layers of polish on them that each one looked like it was wearing a miniature upside-down gold-fish bowl on its top. Wufei shook himself and quickly set out his own chess pieces. Once done he nodded to Quatre who, with white pieces, would start first. Quatre did nothing.
"What's wrong?"
"Wufei…I you're missing some pieces…"
Wufei glanced down and counted.
"No I'm not."
"Count them!"
"Alright…1…2…3…4…5…6…yep that's all of them"
"You're meant to have sixteen pieces, you're missing 8 pawns, a knight and a queen"
Wufei sighed, trying to be patient, he explained.
"Quatre, Chess is a game that has strong parallels to a war right?"
"Right."
"Well, as the commander of my side, I refuse feed the fires of war with beam-cannon fodder such pawns, and I refuse to include women in my fighting force."
Wufei nodded, eyes shut, as if that settled the matter.
there was a brief pause before his opponent burst out.
"But Wufei, the queen is one of the most powerful pieces in the game!"
"Are queens still women?"
"Yes, bu-"
"Then I refuse to include one in my side."
Quatre face was difficult to describe as his need to play a proper game of chess clashed with the need to be an accomodating host. It looked as though the two opposing halves of his brain were playing a heated game of paper, scissors, rock behind those wide, wide eyes.
Finally...
"…… fine. But then why are you missing a knight?"
"Same reason"
The dumb-struck silence that followed was broken only by Duo's low growls as he gnawed at the rope that held him to the thick pillar.
Quatre had to say something.
"Wufei…knights are generally men"
"Quatre, quatre, quatre" the chinese pilot said, shaking his head in a mildly amused way, " if you looked closely at the other knight I had you would understand. No man could sit on a horse like that without crushing the contents of his pants into a fleshy paste."
Quatre and the other three pilots winced, their hands reaching instinctively for their groins.
The young man finally gave in.
"Fine" he said sadly as he began taking his pawns, his queen and one knight and putting them back into their velvet lined box.
Wufei nodded in a satisfied way. So far, Wufei's personality had successfully remained unchanged after sessions with five therapists. Despite Sally's pleadings, he had refuse to change his attitude and was ignoring the way that his inability to see women as equals was mutating into an inability to physically see women at all at particular times in the day . It had been particularly easy to avoid listening to the third therapist who had been a woman herself. His "little problem" had kicked in half-way through a session and all that Wufei had been able to see was a floating notepad and pencil in an empty chair that made odd whiny noises. The woman had become extremely nervous and by the end of the two hours had burst into tears, spilling her guts to Wufei about how she had always wanted to be a dog breeder and about her troubled childhood, telling Sally afterwards that she couldn't continue with Wufei because of the way he seemed to "see straight through her".
Wufei grinned to himself. His current therapist was well on his way to cracking. Wufei had been surprised that the balding man had agreed to meet with him again after he had set the couch and mounted moose head in the therapist's office on fire after dousing the room in turpentine. It probably had something to do with Sally spending three thirds of the Preventers' funding on it. Next time he would make sure that the man's toothbrush moustache caught alight too.
Bing
Wufei was distracted from his thoughts of therapist harassment by Quatre finishing his first turn. Quatre looked extremely disoriented with only six pieces, he had moved his one knight in front of his king, more out of desperation then anything. Wufei smirked, this was going to be easy.
Quatre was not used to playing without a wall of pawns to protect his king so his following moves were made in hope of protecting his king from an early disembowelment
Wufei on the other hand simply moved his own pieces into position to knock off each of Quatre's pieces, one by one.
Eventually…
Bing
WHAM
Wufei had brought his rook down on Quatre's bishop, hard. The blob-topped piece skittered off the board.
"AH!"
Quatre cried out has he dove to catch the piece as it sped off the table.
Tenderly, he deposited the bishop in the velvet box, pulling out a small square of fabric and a teddy bear the size of the remains of the therapist's couch after Wufei had finished with it. Wufei's jaw dropped slightly as Quatre laid the teddy bear beside the fallen bishop and tenderly tucked it into his bishop-shaped hole with the fabric. With a great deal of dignity, Quatre returned to the board and quickly made his move.
bing
WHAM
The same thing happened with Quatre's knight, his two castles, his one knight and his remaining bishop fell to the power of the descending black pieces until finally…
"Check mate"
WHAM
there was a sickly "snap" noise.
"NO!"
The top of the white king was snapped off by the force by which Wufei had brought his knight (it was a male one I assure you) down.
Wufei watched smugly as Quatre left the table and half walked-half sprinted out the door cradling the pieces of wood in his arms, sniffling all the way. Wufei knew that Quatre was no weakling…he was just…sensitive.
Wufei pulled a small notepad and pencil from his pocket as Trowa left in search for Quatre. He had successfully upset a comrade; that had to be worth an extra two sessions with the doctor, giving him a total of three. That would leave him with time to shred up the shelf of psychology books, write vulgar phrases across the wall with a welding torch, draw moustaches and devil horns on all the portraits, throw that porcelain vase out the window, foul up the fish bowl, shave the dog, drug the secretary and the parrot, unravel the tapestry, clog up the doc's mail box with spam, draw pictures on the new couch with red nail polish, pour paint stripper on every car in the parking lot, fill the water dispenser with vodka, dye the room purple and set fire to everything that had escaped his previous attention. That would keep him amused for at least another month with preventer work filling in his spare time.
Peace time had been good to him. Oh yes it had.
