On the Road Again
So far their new touring style was working out pretty well - they'd play three shows in a city, fly home for a week or two, and repeat the process. Everyone was calm, relaxed, even their touring crew enjoying the slower pace for load ins and bump outs, and their production manager had stopped going quite so bald now that he wasn't trying to organise overnight freight of their entire stage set up whilst adhering to workers health safety standards. Plus it meant less time away from their daughter, and that was doing wonders for Gajeel's mood, no one feeling like they had to walk on eggshells around a cranky Slayer on show days.
They were almost halfway through the tour when everyone came down with a cold. Not a problem, they had two weeks at home to recover, which everyone did. Everyone, except for Levy's voice.
It was small; just a waver here, or a crack there at the top of her register, but she had the deeply unsettling feeling that something just wasn't quite right so she left Emme and Gajeel home, drawing with chalk all over their back courtyard in the sunshine, and snuck herself off to the ear, nose and throat specialist for a quick check, paying no mind to the report the technician was going to put together and pass on to the doctor. Instead, feeling better from just having done something about it, she went home to play with her family and prepare for the next few shows as best she could.
In fact, she'd forgotten all about it by the time the lights went up at the very next show, making it through the entire three hour concert without a single missed note, even if her throat was a little sorer than was usual by the end of the night. Levy put it down to just the last remnants of her cold, and took a little extra care than she would have otherwise - warm lemon, ginger and honey drinks; steam everywhere; and salt water rinses, even though Gajeel looked at her like she'd grown a second head the entire time she was puttering around their hotel room, before climbing into the enormous bed and curling up against his side.
"Yer wanna tell me wha' tha's about, Levs?"
"Just feeling a bit run down still is all. Trying to make sure I can get through the next couple of shows without sounding like Natsu" she hummed, snuggling in further against his warm chest, her fingers tracing light patterns across his bare skin.
"Yer okay kitten?"
"Mhmm" she made a noise, shuffling up the bed to kiss him, lightly teasing his lower lip with her teeth.
"Oi, ya'd wanna watch it kitten, or I'll make ya scream yerself hoarse" his eyes were sparkling with the promise of a good time, and she just smiled at him, dragging her nails down the side of his neck and across his chest, almost daring him to try, her lip ring caught between her teeth as she gazed at him through her lashes, breath catching a little.
It was the slight hitch in her breathing that did it, and Gajeel had her pinned under his weight so fast he was sure her head must be spinning. He gathered her tiny wrists in one hand, raising them over her head and pressing them into the pillows with a look that was so very clearly a demand not to move them, smirking as he watched her teeth worry her lip as he let Kurogane take over, eyes darkening in lust, voice deepening almost to a growl.
"Such a good girl for me, aren't you kitten?"
"Yes, Sir. Only for you." Another shaky breath.
"Not a noise, pet. Keep yer hands there, an' don' make a single sound."
"Yes, Sir."
"Tha's ma girl" he rewarded, loving the way she almost purred with delight at his praise. Sliding his hands slowly down her body to pull the tiny shorts down her legs, he warmed to see her staying still, eyes still open and on his even though he could tell she wanted nothing more than to move, to close her eyes and shrink away from the intensity of sustained eye contact. He wasted no time in diving between her thighs to swipe his tongue against her core, already weeping for him, he moaned happily at the taste of her, happily feeling her thighs trembling around him almost instantly he doubled his efforts, determined to make her break, to hear something - anything - slip from her lips. He chanced a look up her body, over the quivering muscles of her abdomen, passed the tiny crop top she still wore, and up to her face where her eyes were blazing down into his, hands right where he'd left them, even if she was tugging and pulling on her lip ring with her teeth in a way that looked almost painful.
"Come fer me, kitten." His voice was soft, but there was no mistaking the order behind it and the effect was almost instantaneous - one quick, hard bite to the tight bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs had her pushed hard against him, entire body shuddering all around him, her head thrown back as her spine arched, but her hands stayed exactly where they were and not a single sound came out of her mouth, opened in a silent scream. He eased her through her climax with soft kisses and gentle touches, easing his way up her body while he waited for her to come back to herself.
"Fuck, Levs, yer so goddamn beautiful when ya come fer me" he whispered, easing his length into her body with a sigh, loving the way she tensed and flexed around him, her hands staying buried in the pillows until he reached for them, wrapping them around his shoulders so she could hold on for dear life as he began to hammer into her. Too worked up to tease her any longer, Gajeel lost himself in her body, his world constricting down until there was nothing but him and her, tied together in the most intimate of embraces, his muscles quivering as he held back his release, not wanting to come without her. The second he felt her tense, breath catching in her chest as her nails dug into his shoulders almost painfully, he buried himself into her as far as possible, almost roaring with the intensity of the pleasure radiating through his body. And even though she was clinging to him for dear life, shuddering almost violently in his arms, Levy still made no sound.
"Fuck, tha' was somethin' else kitten. Ya okay?" He drew her into his arms, pulling her against his chest as they settled into the afterglow, limbs heavy and sleep at the edges of his mind.
"Perfect." Levy smiled, snuggling down into his embrace to enjoy the cuddles and the affection that always followed after an interaction with her fiance's more dominating persona. "Thank you, Sir."
"Yer such a good girl fer me, kitten. Sleep, love." Gajeel whispered into her hair, rubbing gentle circles along her arms as he felt her relax against him, her breathing levelling out and slowing as she fell into slumber, finally letting himself go when he was sure she was resting peacefully.
Apparently, a good romp and a good long sleep had been exactly what Levy had needed, she was positively bouncing on her toes as she waited for the lights to come up on the stage the next night, hearing the opening notes of "Sober" ringing out, she stepped up to her microphone to a deafening roar, motioning to Natsu to play through the first bars a couple of times until the crowd died off and she could hear herself think again.
"For a moment I can wait, it's a fight I guess I'll never know. For a moment I can wait, I'm holding on to hope. And I know you're stoned, I can see it, the struggle's getting old. For a moment I can wait".
Gajeel stepped up beside her then, adding his gravelly voice into her smooth one with a smile and wink in her direction, Levy just shaking her head fondly at him as she took a breath, stepping away from her microphone slightly for his verse, the two moving in sync with the music and each other until the last few drum beats from Wendy rang out and the crowd once against started screaming.
"Alrigh', alrigh'! Geez, yer'd think we ain't been here in years th' way yer all carryin' on" Gajeel teased, laughing as he took a swing from his water bottle while he waited for the cheers and laughter to quiet down again. "How's ev'ryone doin' t'night? Fuck, alrigh' then, guess it's gonna be a loud one t'night then" he shook his head at the sheer volume of the responses he was getting, they were possibly the loudest audience they'd had thus far on the tour. "Now, ya'll ain't come here ta listen ta me talkin' so this is "I Don't Wanna Know"." Levy had to laugh right along with him at the cheer that went up after his announcement; they'd been changing the set list every night, keeping everyone guessing, much to the chagrin of Erik who would have much preferred things stay the same for every show - he said it was easier for everyone - but it was definitely much less fun for both the band, and their audience. Plus, they'd been touring with the same crew of lighting and sound technicians for so many years now, they could have improvised every song and those boys would have known exactly what to do anyway.
From there, they swung straight into "Levy", following up with "It's Not Your Fault" to give Levy a breather and a chance to grab her violin from side of stage, stashing it behind a monitor as Gajeel guzzled some more water, motioning for some quiet while he spoke to the crowd.
"Ev'ryone havin' a good time? Good, good. Me? Oh, yer'll got no idea - I fuckin' missed this!" He yelled, arms out wide, motioning for quiet once again. "Now, do we gotta do th' thing where I introduce ya t' ev'ryone up here? Fuck, alrigh' - on drums, as always, Wendy Marvell!"
When the camera panned to her, Wendy gave a huge wave before sounding out the intro beats for one of their new songs, the whole band bouncing in time with the upbeat music, Gajeel's voice smooth in comparison with his earlier gravelly sound.
"Little supernovas in my head. Little soft pulses in my dead. Little souvenirs and secrets shared. Little off guard and unprepared. I was never good enough to find. I was never bad enough to mind. In the middle I will do my best. Take me in your arms and leave the rest."
Levy drew a breath, stepping up next to him to lead them into the chorus when she felt the tightness in her throat start again.
"I will give you anything to"
Gajeel had heard it, felt her waver next to him when her voice cracked on that one sustained note, and he quirked an eyebrow in her direction as he kept playing. Taking the slight shake of her head as a sign she was okay, if a little off her game for some reason, he tried to pay it no mind, giving his attention back to the song and the show he was putting on for the crowd.
"Little variations on my page. Little doors open on my cage. Little time has come and gone so far. Little by little who you are. I can see the patterns on your face. I can see the miracles I trace. Symmetry and shadows I can't hide. I just want to be right by your side."
That verse always had Levy blushing, knowing that he was singing about all those times they laid together, naked in the afterglow as he traced his fingertips along the barely-there lines she still carried from growing their daughter.
"I will give you everything to"
Thankfully her voice held strong this time around, if a little uncomfortable, and she let herself be carried by Gajeel's smooth vocals, taking a deep breath and trying to relax as she heard Natsu growl out the bridge to a round of cheers - it always made her laugh how much people loved him, knowing how seriously he did not take himself. Blissfully, Natsu got a little carried away and kept going right through their chorus intro, giving her something to hide behind, knowing her voice wasn't quite right and wanting to nurse it through the rest of the show however possible.
"Say you wanna stay, you want me too. Say you'll never die, you'll always haunt me. I want to know I belong to you, say you'll haunt me"
The emotion in these lyrics never failed to catch her by surprise - it wasn't a song Levy had been particularly taken to during recording, but once it had come together? This was possibly one of her favourites now, especially during a live show, because the way Gajeel looked at her with so much love, the lights dancing off the metal in his face, never failed to take her breath away.
"Together. Together. We'll be together. Together, forever. I belong to you. Together, we'll be together. Together, forever. I belong to you"
The last strains of Natsu's gravelly voice rang out, Wendy finishing the song with a flourish to huge cheers. Evidently, putting a new record out and then actually waiting three months so people knew the songs made for a better concert, so they had discovered.
"An' tha' crazy growlin' come from our idiot cousin, Natsu Dragneel!" Gajeel gestured to his right, where Natsu was clearly playing it up for the ground, waving his arms as if he was disappointed in the level of noise, plucking at steel strings to start them off on yet another new song, while Levy shouldered her own guitar to play along in unison as the rest of the band joined in, content to watch from the sidelines as Gajeel all but laid his heart out in the open, "Life is Beautiful" was about his recovery, about his process of learning how to accept himself as he was and learning to see the beauty in everything, as messy as life could be. She hated that it referred to her, but Levy also knew that was a turning point - the point that Gajeel had realised just how seriously he had fucked up and how much he didn't want to end up the same way.
Skipping the introductions, Gray led them straight into the next song, Gajeel's voice clear and calm as the lights turned blue, swirling overhead, not that he could have seen them - he always seemed to start this one with his eyes closed, Levy had noticed. She once asked him why this song, out of all of them, was so hard for him to face and he'd told her it was because he was still struggling to face what he'd done to the people he loved most. That had just made her teary, and she'd hugged him so tight he'd complained about needing to breathe, so every time they performed this one, she made a point to stand right beside him - a show of solidarity for anyone who might have doubted them, and a source of strength should he need it.
"One day, the shadows will surround me. Some day, the days will come to end. Sometime, I'll have to face the real me. Somehow, I'll have to learn to bend. And now I see clearly... I apologise."
Knowing how hard it was for him to reach the same level of harshness as Natsu, Levy quickly shucked her guitar and grabbed a tambourine as the song ended, winking at Natsu as she hustled Gajeel off to the side to take a breather and some water, who jumped straight up beside her and in true Natsu fashion, windmilled the opening chords as she started to rattle the tambourine against her thigh.
"Hi ho, trippers out cold. I've got a feeling like a tired out flow. But I know what I am, they know what they are so let me be".
As he took a half step back from the microphone they were sharing, Levy leant in and angled the stand down so she could be better heard.
"Gasoline, saccharine, I got no reason for the state I'm in. But I know what I am, they know what they are so let me be."
Together, they turned to face the audience, who were clearly having just as much fun as they were up on stage - the mosh pit was bouncing in time with Wendy's drumming and Levy wanted to laugh at the child-like joy she could see on the front few faces.
"But it's alright, its okay. I got the time but the time don't pay. It's alright, it's okay!"
She took a step back, dancing on the spot because it didn't matter how many times they performed together, her and Natsu never had anything but the best fun with this one. And, doubly so tonight - the song's lower register was almost a balm for her tired vocal folds, and she was having no trouble and no tightness with this one.
"Flick flack, no slack. I've got the wit that my enemies lack. But I know what I am, they know what they are, so let me be."
That line always made her laugh, because anyone who spent more than five minutes with Natsu could tell that while he might be smart in his own way - witty is not a word anyone would use to describe him. And Wendy's added harmonisation on her lines always made her smile, her fellow bluenette's voice was pure and sweet. Not strong enough to carry a song by itself, but layered with Levy's it was a beautiful sound.
"Trick some, just begun. Giving you more when you really want one. But I know what I am, they know what they are, so let me be. Woo!"
The rest of the song went by in a blur, Natsu hamming it up with one leg on his monitor as he really leant into the role of rockstar, as he did every night they pulled this one out. Levy, for the most part, spent their bridge dancing around the stage and generally forgetting to care what she looked like because she was enjoying herself so damn much. If there was anything in the world that gave a thrill quite like this one, she certainly hadn't found it yet.
"But I know what I am, they know what they are, so let me be. I know what I am!"
By this point, the entire crowd was clapping or stamping in time, and it gave them a burst of energy just as the song was starting to wind down, Levy holding the last note with just a little waver.
"I know what I am, they know what they are, so let me be".
"How's anyone meant t' follow tha?" Gajeel yelled, making his way back to the centre of the stage. "I swear, tha' gits more fun ev'ry night, kitten. Levy McGarden ev'ry one!" He had her hand in his, and spun her in a circle, before pulling her into a bow, letting her straighten just as Natsu jumped straight into the next song, giving her a moment to shed her guitar and get back to her spot in front of her microphone before she had to harmonise with her fiance.
"I gotta speak it, believe it, that's how I feel inside. I can't sit here quiet. You can take my heart, you can take my breath, when you pry it from my cold dead hands".
So far, Levy felt like she was doing okay. She was straining a little to hit a couple of notes, but she was still a little winded from getting pulled into Natsu's antics and hopefully that's all it was. She loved this song, to her it was their comeback song - it might not have been victorious in name, but it's definitely how it made her feel, getting to sing it with the people she loved, in front of the people who loved their music.
"This is how we rise up (heavy as a hurricane, louder than a freight train). This is how we rise up (heart is beating faster, feels like thunder). Magic, static, call me a fanatic - it's our world, they can never have it. This is how we rise up, it's a resistance (you can't resist us)"
It really was their resistance - their call to arms, that the Dragon Slayers would not go quietly into the night, they were not finished and looking over at the rest of the band, Levy knew they were all in this for the long haul, whatever it took they would face it together, and she'd never been more proud of her unconventional family.
"Up, up, up, up, up. We're rising up, up, up, up, up. (The voice of the unheard). Rising up, up, up, up, up. We're rising up, up, up, up, up. (Love is the answer). This is how we rise up. It's our resistance, you can't resist us"
As predicted, Natsu took the last few bars and turned them into almost two minutes worth of shredding - he seemed to go for longer each and every night, Levy realised with a shake of her head, cracking another bottle of water to hopefully soothe her throat, trying to relax because she knew what was coming next as she picked up her violin and drew the bow across the strings, eyes closed as she let the emotions fuel her playing, lowering her bow as she heard Gajeel's warm timbre from next to her, Gray's keys holding the melody steady.
"I hear them talk to me, but they're not listening. The words are kerosene. They don't know who I am, they never understand, what it's like to be me. I don't wanna be here, so stuck inside. Tell me how long have I been here? I'm losing track of time".
Picking her bow back up, Levy angled her body to be able to sing into her microphone without knocking it as she slowly played, holding her notes as her hand danced across the fingerboard.
"In all this loneliness, and all this emptiness. Been stuck inside this room like a prison sentence. I'm not gonna stay, tell me there's a way".
Unconsciously, her and Gajeel angled themselves towards each other as the lights came up and bathed the stage in a warm glow - highlighting the fact there was now a small group of string musicians right behind Levy, adding to the scale of the song, and she could swear she saw a tear or two in a few eyes as she looked around the venue.
"High above it all (above it all). Victorious, victorious. Far too long I've grown (far too long). In hopelessness, I'm over this. Don't give up on me (don't give up on me). Tell me you believe (tell me you believe). I can't face it all (face it all). Victorious, victorious."
She stood watching the man she loved once again be so open, so vulnerable, as he poured his life out to this venue full of strangers, singing about how she had been the thing he'd held tight to through everything - and how Levy had never lost faith in him, trusting that one day he'd have done the work and be back in her life, and now here they were. Together, a family, living something beyond her wildest dreams.
"Help me, 'cause I'm falling. When I can't sleep, but I'm holding on. Can't face this night alone"
Trying to relax her throat, Levy heard the other instruments fall away, leaving just her cue and Gray's keys, and she opened her mouth, hoping her voice wasn't going to fail her now - her solo moment in the song she had poured everything into.
"In all this loneliness, and all this emptiness. Been stuck inside this room like a prison sentence. I'm not gonna stay, tell me there's a way"
There was a moment of silence, shock almost that her voice had very audibly cracked, before the strings picked up and the sound guys turned five instruments into something that sounded like an entire orchestra, Wendy jumping in to help hold up her failing voice as they harmonised with Gajeel through the last chorus.
Quickly making her way off stage, Levy missed the looks of concern that were passed amongst her bandmates, though there was no escaping the unprecedented level of noise coming from the audience. She just needed a minute, and Erik was there waiting with a fresh shirt and her favourite throat spray as she heard Gray set his keyboard to synthesiser and launch into the opening for "The Light", so she knew she had about three minutes to pull herself together.
"You good, Blue?"
"No, but I'll get it together."
"Good, you got a set of songs coming up." His face was set into a grim expression, single eye serious as it bored down into her and Levy squirmed a little under the intensity of his stare as she quickly shimmied into her new top.
"I told you, I got it Cobra" she spat at him, relieved to see his face shift into a smirk.
"Good to see you've got some spunk still, McGarden. Get out there" he shoved her none too gently back towards the stage, just as Gajeel and Natsu were making their way off. The couple met just on the sidelines, still in view of the audience who got full viewing of their sweet interaction. They couldn't hear what was being said, but that didn't stop the "aww" that could be heard throughout the arena as Gajeel gently cupped her cheek in his palm, sharing a few words before Levy leant up to give him a quick kiss. And it didn't do anything to quell the laughter as the entire venue saw Gajeel smack Levy on the ass as she moved passed him to take her place front and centre on the stage.
"Hey everyone! Seeing as it worked so well last time, we've kept the tradition going. So, you're all stuck with me for a few songs if that's okay?" She took the resounding cheer as an affirmative, and swung her guitar over her head to launch into something that would, hopefully, ease her back into a full vocal range, their stand-in bassist and guitarist both understanding immediately as she played in a lower key than usual.
"All the windows swear to miss you, and the doors are cell block tight. Sweet sedation, sweep the issue, and the clocks about to strike. Did it call you down? Are you back just yet? Waiting now, please come set me free. And the only sound, is a minute left. This could be, this could be the last time"
Levy chanced a look to the side of the stage, thankful she couldn't see Gajeel in the dark - the look on his face, the pain in his eyes at this block of songs was almost too much for her . She'd been given free rein, and so she'd actually left him completely out of the process on the five songs that ended up on the record, not wanting any influence on what she wrote or included, because she'd known, been so acutely aware, that if she could have seen the look on his face then, she never would have gone through with any of them. And Levy was glad she had. The process had been healing, in a way, and she was actually proud of herself and the songs that she had ended up with. She knew he was proud of her too, he'd said so about a hundred different ways, but it didn't stop her flinching a little when their eyes met during one of them.
"It's only us. It's only now. It's only tonight".
She had to smirk as her blonde guitarist stepped on his reverb pedal in a very Natsu-esque move, but it made the transition into her next song a little more seamless, and for that she was thankful, even if she was a little nervous about making it all the way through this one and not letting Wendy's beautiful harmonies down.
"I breathe you in with smoke in the backyard lights (backyard lights). We used to laugh until we choked into the wasted nights (wasted nights). It was the best time of my life, but now I sleep alone. So don't, don't, don't wake me up, 'cause my thrill is gone. And the sunset's turning red behind the smoke. Forever and alone".
She knew she was screwed when she saw Gajeel show up back on stage, taking up a seat on the monitors, his legs spread wide enough for her to stand between his knees - almost mirroring what he'd made her do the last time they were touring, so he could embarrass her. This time, she knew it was his way of letting her know that he was okay - that they both were - and that he was proud of her, even if it hurt him to listen to all the ways he'd caused her pain over the years.
"This isn't fair, no, don't you try to blame this on me. My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me. And goddamn it, I can barely say your name. So it'll try to write it, and fill the pen with blood from the sink. (Whoa-oh). But don't just say it, you should sing my name. Pretend that it's a song, 'cause forever it's yours, and we can sing this on the way home".
Levy absolutely hated the way he always cringed at that line, but it was true for her when she'd written it - she had loved Gajeel without fault, and he had gone and ripped her entire world all but out from under her. They'd moved passed it, but it had taken time, and some wounds were still tender.
She was grateful that he came and stood behind her when he heard the intro for the next song, because no matter how many times she got through this one, it still hurt every time, leaving her raw and sometimes in tears.
"I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end. You were made to make it hurt, disappear into the dirt. Carry me to heaven's arms, light the way and let me go. Take the time to take my breath, I will end where I began"
By this point, everyone knew what this particular song was about, and no one batted an eyelid when Gajeel dropped his head onto Levy's shoulder, his own shaking just slightly, as she took a bracing breath and willed the tears away.
"Suddenly the lights go out, let forever drag me down. I will fight for one last breath, I will fight until the end. And I will find the enemy within, 'cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin."
Levy remembered how it felt, feeling like her own body had failed at the one thing she was meant to be able to do as naturally as breathing. And even know, after getting to experience pregnancy in all it's glory and misery, she still couldn't help but be mad occasionally - at her body, at the universe, at herself.
"Leave me alone. God, let me go. I'm blue and cold, black sky will burn. Love pull me down, hate lift me up. Just turn around, there's nothing left. Somewhere far beyond this world, I feel nothing anymore".
When her voice gave out on the last line, no one thought anything of it, the audience cheering supportively as she swiped at her cheeks, turning into Gajeel's embrace where they stood, just holding each other for a moment. Gajeel shook it off first, pressing kisses to her face before shoo-ing her bass player off the stage, taking his place next to her so he could support her just with his presence. Natsu had clearly followed a similar train of thought, sharing a quick high-five and one armed hug with the blonde guitarist as they switched places, waiting for Levy's signal for Gray to start up again.
"Will the faithful be rewarded, when we're coming to the end? Will I miss the final warning from the lie that I have lived? Is there anybody calling? I can see the soul within, and I am not worthy. I am not worthy of this."
Thankfully, this song had been written and recorded full of emotion as well, so no one paid any heed to the way Levy's voice was still thick with tears, her eyes still glistening under the warm yellow glow of the lights. She'd written this song to be lyrically vague - wanting people to draw their own meanings and conclusions. But for Levy? Standing on stage with the ones she loved? This song had always been about them, about loving them, not wanting to let them down, and not feeling worthy of being with them. It had always been about her insecurities, about getting left behind, forgotten, and her need for that reassurance, that sense of home she had found with each and every one of them.
"Heaven above me, take my hand. Shine until there's nothing left but you. Heaven above me, take my hand. Shine until there's nothing but left you".
As the outtro faded, all the boys moved to hug Levy, who laughed and waved them off, already feeling better, like she always did after those songs. She made a point of always doing them in that order, something about moving through the lyrics on "Ashes of Eden" helped calm her soul after the rawness that came from "Dear Agony". Plus, she loved to be able to take a breather and watch Gajeel sing to her like the rest of the world didn't exist, because he always followed her set with the same song.
"I went to bed, I was thinking about you. I wanna talk and laugh like we used to. When I see you in my dreams at night, it's so real but it's in my mind. And now, I guess, this is as good as it gets".
Levy had a love/hate relationship with this particular song - the way Gajeel sang about loving her was damn near earth shattering the first time she'd heard it. But she hated knowing he'd spent so long yearning for her, for their relationship, and it never failed to make her feel guilty about the time they'd spent apart.
"I went to bed, I was thinking about you. 'Cause I don't wanna leave this dream. It ain't the same since I been here without you. 'Cause I never seem to stay asleep. I know I gotta let you go. I don't wanna wake up."
The mood in the arena was a little melancholy, and Gajeel decided enough was quite enough of that.
"Thinkin' we could all do wi' a little perkin' up righ' 'bout now. Wha' yer say we crank out some ol' stuff kitten?" The crowd hollered as they watched Levy grab her violin, leading them into the far more upbeat "I'd Go With You Anywhere", and belting out a rousing rendition of "Vicious Love" with him. From there, the atmosphere in a decidedly better space, they big their goodnight's and left the stage, knowing full well they'd be back out in five minutes time for an encore, because there was no way they were getting away without one with that crowd. So, when everyone was breathing a little less heavily, long hair towel dried slightly, dry shirts replacing wet ones and after Erik had forced water into all of them, he gave the signal and the stage lit up with blinding white as they ran back out on stage, pulling every musician with them to take a bow.
"Keep it goin' fer these incredible folks, wouldn't be half th' show without 'em!" Gajeel encouraged, the cheering ramping a notch at his urging, Levy hugging them all on their way off the stage as the feedback from Natsu's guitar signalled that they weren't quite finished yet, Gajeel's voice starting softly and building with the tension.
"If you take a step towards me, you will take my breath away. So I'll keep you close, keep my secret safe."
Now this, this was the one that had Levy flushed scarlet from the opening note to the last chord. Gajeel had started putting one on every record, playing at least one at every show, just to embarrass her, because she intimately knew exactly what he was singing about.
"Let me take a step towards you, let me feel you in my hands. Let me cross this line, and show you where it leads. There's a darkness down inside me that I know we'll both enjoy, and it's screaming from within to set it free"
Oh yes, there definitely was a darkness inside Black Steel Gajeel - and it wasn't buried deep at all, as evidenced by the finger shapes bruises that were currently wrapped around Levy's thigh, barely visible under her denim shorts. Kurogane was never far away, and as Levy knew from experience, he never brought anything other than bone melting pleasure.
"If you cried out for more, if you reached out for me. I would run into the storm, just to keep you here with me. I have gone beyond my years, I've wasted half my life. Did I save you? 'Cause I know you saved me too. I know you saved me too".
He couldn't help himself, never could after particular song and seeing the way it affected Levy, her eyes cloudy and unfocused while she toyed with her lip ring were a dead giveaway - his voice, those lyrics, he'd always intended for the whole thing to turn her on, get her in the right headspace for him to play with later, once they made it through the last of the set. Instead, he settled for pulling her in tight against his body and kissing her absolutely senseless, much to the delighted screams of the crowd, and the joking gag noises from Natsu at the next microphone, who - deciding he'd had quite enough of that behaviour - launched into the next songs chord progression to force the couple to come up for air, Gajeel holding her possessively to his side until he had to pick up his bass again.
"I need you, right here, by my side. You're everything I'm not, in my life. We're indestructible, we are untouchable, nothing can take us down tonight. You are so beautiful, it should be criminal that you could be mine."
That had Levy giggling and rolling her eyes at him the way she always did, never quite able to see herself the way he did, she was nevertheless thrilled to know he still found her irresistible after all this time, and she didn't even notice her voice shaking as she added her own sound to the mix.
"And everybody said that we would never last, and if they saw us now I bet they'd take it back. It doesn't matter what we do or what we say. 'Cause nothing matters anyway"
He was right, they really had shown all the doubters - not just of their relationship, but of the band. Yes, they'd had their struggles, their ups and downs, their good and bad times, but through it all, they'd always come on top and better than before, and they would continue to do so, proving everyone wrong, for as long as they could.
"No matter what, I got your back. I'd take a bullet for you if it comes to that. I swear to God, that in the bitter end, we're gonna be the last ones standing".
"An' don' ya ferget it, yer hear? We ain't old, or outta touch, or anythin' else they been callin' us. We ain't finished! We are the Dragon Slayers, an' we are Undefeated!" Gajeel yelled, the whole band shouting in unison so they could finish the show with a band.
"Hands on my neck, foot on my back, closing in from every side. Bleeding me dry, I'm fading fast. Left for dead but I will rise up on my own, I could make it alone. I got all that I need to survive (all that I need to survive). Through the sweat and the blood, I know what I'm made of. It's the hunger that keeps me alive. (This time, I'm coming like a hurricane) This time".
There was a reason they ended every show this way - it really was their "fuck you" to the haters and the people who'd said their career was over, the perfect upbeat song to leave everyone in a good mood and posting about their comeback, because free publicity was always welcome. Levy was just hoping no one was paying that close attention to her performance tonight, knowing she had really been struggling, could feel it getting worse the longer the show went on. She did her best to push through, it was just one more song and she could rest for a few days, try and shake off whatever was going on with her.
"Here at the edge losing my ground, stare into the great divide. Pushing me over, pulling me down. Almost dead, but I will rise up on my own. No, I'm never alone and it's all that I need to survive (All that I need to survive). Through the sweat and the blood, if I fall, I'll get up. It's the hunger that keeps me alive (This time, I'm coming like a hurricane) This time"
It was definitely getting to be noticeable now, Gajeel glancing over at her every few seconds as he could pick up the difficulties she was having, could hear them clear as day through his in-ear monitor, but she waved him off with a quick gesture that those who knew sign language would pick as the sign for "later", which seemed to placate him enough to at least finish the concert, if not enough for him to drop it until they got home.
"I came to fight for the love of the game, unstoppable. That's why I, I'm undefeated. Off the leash, out of the cage, an animal. That's why I, I'm undefeated. I (I) I know I can beat it, won't give up 'cause I believe it. Fight for the love of the game, unstoppable. That's why I, I'm undefeated. That's why I, I'm undefeated".
The music halted all together, everyone on stage taking a bow before the lights went out, the venue dark as exhausted, the Slayers finally made their way off stage to collapse on the nearest flat surface.
Levy managed to dodge any tricky questions, mostly by avoiding everyone and making phone calls on the bus ride back to the hotel - claiming she was just checking up on her friends, and it had to be now because of the time difference. But, she could only stall for so long and once they were in their hotel room, door securely latched behind them, Gajeel wanted answers.
"Yer a bit off t'night, Levs. Ain't ever heard ya like this, wha's goin' on?"
She sat down heavily on the bed, and unlocked her phone to play a voice message that had come in during their show.
"Miss McGarden? This is Dr. Lates, I've received your laryngeal scope report. There is evidence of lesions, and I would like to see you in my office as soon as possible, due to the severity. Please call back on this number to schedule an appointment at your earliest possible convenience. Thank you".
"Lesions?"
"Used to be called nodules. Gaj, my instrument is breaking. My body's failing me, again". She burst into tears, the noise breaking his heart as he gathered her into his arms, holding her tight and trying to keep his own emotions in check.
"Hey, c'mon kitten, ain't no need fer tears. I love ya, an' we're gonna git through this, an' anythin' else life throws our way, t'gether, alrigh'? 'm here, an' 'm not goin' anywhere".
Phew! We made it guys, this chapter is ENORMOUS! Like, it's quite possibly the longest chapter I've ever written in one sitting, and it took me a whole freaking day. I feel like it sucks, but at this point I'm too tired and too invested to go back and change anything now. Plus, the app is still doing weird things to the formatting. Hopefully you enjoyed it in spite of all that? The concerts are always fun to write, if a little (a lot) time consuming. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on it all! And remember - if you love what I do, you support me via the link in my bio, if you feel like it - zero pressure, these chapters are going to keep coming either way!
Rao, Nic Dragonfly - I'm glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter! It's always a little scary putting something different out, but I'm really happy to hear you all got what I was going for!
Stay safe everyone, sending you much love right now (because lockdowns suck, going back to work sucks, and this virus really sucks)
- A.V xxx
Song list -
Sober - Bad Wolves
I Don't Wanna Know - New Found Glory
It's Not Your Fault - New Found Glory
Say You'll Haunt Me - Stone Sour
Life is Beautiful - Sixx a.m.
I Apologize - Five Finger Death Punch
I Know What I Am - Band of Skulls
The Eesistance - Skillet
Victorious - Skillet
The Light - Disturbed
11:11pm - All American Rejects
Bulletproof Love - Pierce the Veil
Dear Agony - Breaking Benjamin
Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin
Don't Wake Me - Skillet
I'd Go With You Anywhere - Birds of Tokyo
Vicious Love - New Found Glory (feat. Hayley Williams)
Song #3 - Stone Sour
No Matter What - Papa Roach
Undefeated - Skillet
