Neurotic
Summary: "My name's not Chris Perry" Chris said, as if it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to say. "It's Christopher." He paused, almost reluctantly. "Christopher Halliwell."
Disclaimer: Charmed and Chris don't belong to me, doo dah, doo dah, I'm not making any money from this, oh, dah doo dah day.
Chapter The Eleventh
"Ow! Be careful with that!"
Paige glared at him as she bound up his arm carefully, holding his arm as she tied the sling. "You're lucky it's not broken. That nephew of mine sure has a temper."
"I did sort of provoke him," Chris said quietly, his sea-coloured eyes looking worriedly at Paige. "I guess he would have been touchy about the- the Event. I should have let it go."
She sighed and her eyes scanned his face. "Chris, I have no idea what you've gone through. I'm beginning to get the idea that it's been pretty awful, and that – perhaps – for everyone in the future it's awful. But we're going to stop it from happening."
"Yeah?" Chris questioned briefly, searching her gaze for the truth. Paige swallowed at the intensity of the look.
"Yeah," she replied, but it was quieter than it should have been, and neither could quite believe it.
"You really thought he was dead, didn't you?"
That was from Phoebe, who was alternately looking between the Map, Chris and Paige, and Piper and Wyatt.
Chris froze for a second, and then nodded. "I did. That's why I was so shocked when he turned up."
"You must have been close to him, though," Piper mused, lifting Wyatt into her lap and letting him sleep against her. She mussed Wyatt's set of curls. "When you grow up, young man, you're not to pretend to kill your younger brother, do you hear me? Even if you are evil. It's not evil, it's just mean."
Chris stifled a laugh. "Okay. I really have to get out of here. It's too weird."
"Hmm, let me see." Phoebe turned back to the table, where the two Maps were lying side by side. "What job can a half-Whitelighter hiding mysterious secrets about the Halliwell future do with an injury?"
Chris sighed as he shuffled over to look down at the Maps. "Uh-" He frowned, and sat down on one of the chairs, wincing slightly as his arm hit the table. "Nag you guys to go and defeat some demons while I babysit mister anti-farting over there, and do some internet research on your work laptop about some of your ex-boyfriends?"
Piper smothered a smile. "Wish he really was anti-farting at the moment. You're a mister smelly pants, aren't you?" Wyatt just giggled at her, and Piper rolled her eyes. "Ah, trust me to try and make conversation with a two year old," she grouched.
"To be honest, Piper, if you called anyone a smelly pants, I think they'd be a little less likely to wanna talk to you," Paige said with a knowing grin.
Piper threw a look at Paige, which clearly said that if her hands had not been full of baby, she would have flickered some kind of rude gesture at her youngest sister. Paige just smirked, knowing what her sister was thinking all too well.
"So, when do you want me to start nagging?" Chris asked, looking between them all. "You could get the Festri demons, the Ghalish Gnomes and the Shishi Sisters if you go now."
"You're very eager to get us out of the house," Phoebe said suspiciously. Chris threw a dark look at her.
"I'm anxious to get some alone time to feel sorry for myself," Chris retorted with a self-directed wry smirk. Phoebe tossed him a confused glance. "Come on. One of my best friends has returned from the dead, given me a gift that is worth of one of the greatest evil minded people, my arm feels like someone fried it in vinegar and now Piper is calling the boy who in my future grew up and killed people for insulting him smelly pants."
"What, is that excess vinegar from the sandwich?" Piper questioned, putting Wyatt back down in his playpen and making a funny face at him.
"Funny," Chris said.
"I'd like to think so," Piper returned sunnily.
"Hey, Vic, you got some guy to see you."
Victor looked up from his desk, his brow furrowing when he saw his co-worker Jerry. "Who is it?"
"He didn't say." Jerry just shrugged. "I figured it was one of your clients."
Victor frowned. "How old did he look?"
Jerry tossed him an askance look. It read very plainly I am not your secretary, man.
Victor sighed. "Tell him to meet me in here," he said, figuring he could yell for Chris if it was a demon or anything. He'd gotten increasingly paranoid about something like that happening, especially when Chris had described the future, and mentioned the possibility of a demon coming back. He really, really hoped it wasn't Paul, though. To be honest, the boy sounded as bad as Wyatt, and he was just relieved that at least one of them – and partly from his influence, by the sound of it! – was good.
Jerry had already disappeared, and Victor tapped a pen against the desk as he waited for the visitor. He didn't have to wait long, as the door creaked hesitantly open and a very familiar blond head poked around.
Victor resisted the urge to let out a disproving sigh, or maybe catapult the pen into the man's forehead.
"Is it okay for me to come in?" Leo asked, trying very hard to look Victor straight in the eye.
"Would you listen if I said no?" Victor said, somewhat testily. He knew that he'd probably never be entirely happy with anyone who married one of his daughters, that was part of the whole fatherhood deal, but to be honest Victor had never truly forgiven the deception Leo had played on him at the beginning. When Leo had orbed away, it wasn't just an insult to his already ingrained dislike of Whitelighters, it was an insult from a guy wanting to marry his daughter…
Leo sighed, and closed the door behind him. Crossing over the room, he dropped into the chair facing Victor directly. "I'm sorry you have such a low opinion of me at the moment," he said, his voice low, his eyes staring straight at Victor. "But I need your help."
"You? You need my help?" Victor's hands clenched the desk involuntarily as his voice rose in volume. "Never mind your family that need your help-"
"-no one is more regretful of that than me!" Leo said, somewhat heatedly. "I- leaving my two- my two boys, not to mention Piper, is the hardest thing I've ever done! I thought you of all people would understand!"
Hit by the intensity and the truth of Leo's words, Victor sank deeper into his chair. It was true. He, of all people, could understand. "Three," Victor said quietly, the words thick and hard to get out. But Leo deserved to know. "Three. You're going to have three boys."
Leo frowned, as if Victor was speaking a language he didn't know. "Th-three? Did, uh, did Chris tell you that?"
Victor shook his head. "No. Paul turned up all on his own, with a very nasty surprise for Christopher."
Leo's face registered his own confusion.
"Paul?"
Victor resisted the urge to slam more details at the guy, but decided to take pity on him. Leo did rather look like he'd been blindsided by a flying pixie. "Paul. Apparently Chris thought he'd died a while ago, but it's not the case."
"I-" Leo's voice fell away, and he stared not quite at Victor, but somewhere far beyond.
"He's not a nice kid," Victor said flatly. Leo blinked, snapping out of his daze, his brow furrowing. "The nasty surprise I mentioned was a head." Leo's eyes twitched. "The name Bianca mean anything to you?"
Colour instantly flooded out of Leo's face. "Oh god…"
"Exactly," Victor said coolly. "So was there anything particular you wanted from me?"
Leo blinked several times, fast. "Uh-" He shook his head as if to literally shake the daze from his brain. "I was going to ask you if you would care to share Chris' identity. The Elders are still worried about him, and there's been a general murmur of the few who want to send him back to the future. Not," he added quickly, "perpetuated by me."
Victor stared at him flatly. "I can't," he said simply. "I can't tell you who Chris is."
Leo looked pained.
"I did make Chris promise to tell you and the girls at some point," Victor said quickly, though. Hope crept into Leo's eyes. "But don't get your hopes up. After the two nice 'messages' that Paul left, I really don't think he's up to the emotional stress."
Leo nodded, his skin still pale.
"You could, uh, come with me after work, though," Victor said. Leo looked confused. "I'm going to have dinner with the girls, and pick Chris up to take him back to my apartment. Maybe you should spend some time with him. I'm sure if you maybe get to hear some of his motivations, the Elders might be quietened with your firsthand experience."
Leo looked undecided.
"I'll call Piper and ask if it's okay first," Victor promised. Leo still looked tense for a further moment, and then nodded. His eyes were still dark with worry, and Victor knew that he was scared about spending too much time with the girls and getting even more attached to them. He felt a warm rush of sympathy for the man which he'd never felt before. Leo was in the same position he'd been in nearly thirty years ago.
"Okay," Leo said, his voice hushed.
"Great," Victor said. "If you don't mind waiting, I can finish this up in an hour or so."
Leo nodded again, looking relieved.
"And hey, don't worry," Victor said. "It'll turn out all right, I'm sure."
As if strengthened by his words, Leo smiled. For the first time, Victor believed the expression and welcomed the emotionally struggling man in front of him as his son-in-law. Victor felt an echoing smile creep onto his face, and he hid it in his paperwork.
"Ooooh, signal!"
Phoebe and Piper watched in disbelief as Paige waved her cell phone around like a mad woman.
"Well, it is," Paige said grumpily as she hit the speed-dial for home, and, perched on her tiptoes, began to talk into it. "Chris, hi! We're in the underworld! Yeah… Yeah, it is hard to get a signal down here!" Paige edged a glare at her sisters during that comment. "Uh, we got the first two lots, but we forgot the spell to vanquish the Shishi sisters… That's it? And just one of the basic shield potions?... Great!"
Paige hit disconnect with aplomb, sunnily hopping over to her two sisters despite the acrid atmosphere. "See, I told you I could get a signal down here."
"You got the spell?" Piper questioned, a little testily.
Paige put it down to hormones, and didn't rise to it. "Yup." She told them it, twice, so they could memorise it.
"Huh," Phoebe said. "That's really the spell?"
Paige shrugged. "Chris said so. You two ready?"
"As we'll ever be," Piper said, amused. Holding hands, the three walked briskly down the long corridor hewn out of rock, turned a left and found themselves in a large, hollowed out cavern, lined with rocks that glowed like small furnaces. That had been what Chris had told them to look out for.
Immediately, a hissing sound filled the air, and smoke started to pour from the centre of the cavern.
"WHO DARES INFILTRATE OUR PLACE?" A voice boomed out, nearly knocking them over with the tremors it caused in the cavern. They held onto each other for support, watching as four figures materialised out of the smoke. Four almost identical sisters, with navel and cleavage baring outfits, slim curvaceous figures, black hair and sneers on their porcelain faces.
Paige threw the potion at them.
"Shishi sisters on the loose, vanquish now, die now, vamoose!"
The Shishi sisters looked at each other, laughing at the spell. Paige's stomach flopped over and died, but it was very premature, for just at that moment the four sister demons screamed and exploded. When the smoke cleared, the cavern was empty except for the three amused Charmed Ones.
"Hoo yeah, we rule," Phoebe proclaimed happily. "Although that was the crappiest spell written ever."
"Don't blame me," Paige said. "Chris told me it."
"And he'll have got it from our book," Piper said, dryly.
"True," Phoebe said. "Now can we get out of here?"
"She says, when earlier she couldn't wait to stay down here and bask over our success?" Paige questioned.
Phoebe pulled a face, and murmured something. Piper and Paige exchanged a bewildered look.
"What did you just say?" Paige asked.
"I said, I need the toilet!" Phoebe whined, loudly.
It took them a few moments after that for them to orb. It would have been instantaneous, if Paige hadn't bent over double and started laughing hysterically.
Ding dong!
Typing one handed was hard, so Chris was almost pleased by the distraction of the doorbell. Minimising the window just in case it was Darryl or someone who may not be too impressed that he'd hacked into the main state registrar office's database, he headed over to the door and opened it.
Leo and Victor stared back at him.
"Oh! Oh, yeah," Chris said. "Um, the girls will be back soon," he explained as he opened the door and they walked in. He saw them looking at his arm, and pulled a face as he pushed the door shut.
"How did that happen?" Victor asked pointedly.
"Um, uh, our visitor from the other day showed up," Chris started ambiguously.
"Paul?" Victor questioned.
Chris glanced worriedly at Leo.
"He knows," Victor quickly reassured him.
"Um," Chris said, clearly uncomfortable with that fact, "he kind of showed up, started an argument, and pushed me into the wall. It's just a sprain," he added quickly.
"Sprains can last a while," Leo said quietly, moving his hands forward and healing Chris. Startled, Chris looked at him and stuttered his thanks. "No problem." Leo distractedly moved over to the table, looking down at the new Map. His eyes narrowed as he glanced at the Map. "You've put Elders on here?"
Chris shrugged. "I've put everyone on there, man," he said, clearly upset that those were the first words out of Leo's mouth. "You may even notice my own presence on my own column, thanks to Piper."
To Chris' complete surprise, Leo chuckled a little. "Heh. Where did you say the girls were?"
"I didn't," Chris said, which earned him a quiet glare from both Victor and Leo. "They're vanquishing some demons. They'll be back soon."
Leo opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the three girls orbing into the room.
"We got them!" Piper announced cheerfully to Chris, before glancing suspiciously at Leo. "Uh, what are you doing here?"
"Oh," Leo said, a little startled. "Um, there's some disquiet Up There… Some Elders are worried about Chris, worried about who he is. Uh, Victor suggested that I, uh, spend some time with him, and hopefully that may reassure the Elders a little."
"Okiedoke," Piper said, with a twitch of her eyebrows that plainly said to all present that the Elders confused her and annoyed the hell out of her and that she was just going to deal now with whatever they were going to throw at her without getting too upset about it. "You're going to stay for dinner, then?"
"If it's okay," Leo said, his voice showing pleased surprise. "I'd love to. I-" And again, he was interrupted, but by something he'd felt. That they'd all felt. A small tremor, wending its way through the house, through them.
"What is that?" Victor asked quickly, pointing at the air in front of the door. Instinctively they all moved backwards.
A small silvery gash had appeared out of nowhere, splitting the air in two.
"It's a portal," Leo said with a gasp, his eyes wide. "Not one of ours."
"Not one of yours?" Phoebe said, her eyes trained fearfully on the portal as she unconsciously moved to shield Piper with her body. "So we're not going to get sucked into the past again?"
"It looks like a one-way portal," Chris said quietly. "Something's coming here. Or someone." The fear etched into his face told Victor clearly that Chris was frightened that it was Wyatt who was about to come through. Future Wyatt. Evil Wyatt.
They couldn't say much more, as the portal opened, in a shimmering display of crimsons, looking like an energy charged rose unfurling there in the middle of the hallway. Seemingly out of nowhere, a strong wind started up, swirling around them as they stared in horror at the portal.
The wind whipped up to a frequency that whistled in their eyes, and moments later the portal had shimmered out of existence, leaving a figure sprawled on the ground. A feminine figure.
All they could see of her was a mass of short dark brown hair. There was a deep gash in the cream coloured top she wore, with blood running freely from it. Hissing under his breath, Leo quickly knelt down, getting blood on his robes but just not caring. Holding his hands up, he healed the newcomer with ease. Piper, Paige, and Phoebe exchanged a glance, and then looked to Chris to see what he thought of the unexpected arrival.
Chris was looking even more pole-axed than any of them. His face had paled to a shade of white that rivalled the fluffy marshmallow clouds floating in the cerulean sky outside.
The glow from Leo's hand faded as the wound healed, the recipient obviously not a demon from this act. Cautiously Leo helped turn the woman over as she coughed and spluttered a little, and Piper realised just exactly why Chris looked so pale.
The woman who had tumbled out of the portal, with the stab wound running right through her, that Leo had just healed… was Piper.
