Neurotic


Summary: "My name's not Chris Perry" Chris said, as if it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to say. "It's Christopher." He paused, almost reluctantly. "Christopher Halliwell."

Disclaimer: Charmed and Chris don't belong to me, doo dah, doo dah, I'm not making any money from this, oh, dah doo dah day.


Author's Note: This ending scene of this chapter is the original scene that got stuck in my head – the one that made me want to tell this story! I. Love. It. So. Much!


Chapter The Thirteenth


"I really can't believe it's you."

Chris looked at his knees, rather than look at his mother. He twisted his head hesitantly to look at her, and then shied his gaze away. He'd dreamed this a thousand times, and each time woke up hating himself.

"Me either," he admitted to the carpet.

A silence occupied the living room that the girls had kindly vacated to give them some time to "catch up" as Pippa had put it.

"How long has it been?"

Chris squeezed his eyes shut, and let them stay that way. "Eight years," he said, his voice catching. "I got engaged, you know."

"Oh?" Pippa's voice caught as she said that, drawing the syllable out uncomfortably. "Uh, what was her name?"

"Bianca," Chris said, the name paining him.

"Bia- not-" Pippa's eyes rounded. "The daughter of that Phoenix witch we vanquished."

Still with his eyes closed, Chris nodded and smiled. It was not a happy smile. "Yup."

Pippa's mouth worked silently. The internal struggle she was going through blazed on her face and died. She obviously didn't want to push her son away after only just finding him. Especially after not knowing he was lost. Eight years! her heart cried. What happened to my happy, smiling boy to make him this bitter at the world?

"She was good," Chris said, his eyes opening now but fixating on some random detail of the fireplace. "You'd have been proud of how hard she fought for us."

Pippa nodded slowly, looking at his downcast face and seeing his pain clearly. "Past tense?" She whispered.

Chris said nothing, just inhaled and then exhaled, and then shrugged.

"I'm sorry," Pippa breathed, looking at him hard.

"Why?" Chris asked plainly, turning to her, shaking his head slightly. "You didn't even know you were gone."

"I know," Pippa said wretchedly. She lifted one hand to touch Chris' cheek, completely amazed as her hand fell away. "I just can't- I can't-" She closed her eyes this time, and her hair fell like a dense curtain against her face.

Chris, with the gentlest expression any of them had ever seen, put one of his hands under her chin and lifted it up. Tears were running down her face and he wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. "Hey," he said softly. "It's going to be all right. We're going to change this."

Pippa nodded tearfully. Her slight form trembled as the conflicting emotions of the last hour washed over her, and he pulled his mother to him. She instantly burrowed her head in his neck. "I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much."

Chris smiled, a tight lost smile, and pulled her closer. He put his head on her shoulder, and whispered, "I love you too."


"Oh, my god." Phoebe quietly and carefully replaced the grate in the kitchen. She got to her feet, looking between Paige and Phoebe. Leo's jaw was clenched, and Victor was very carefully looking out of the window so as to not say anything that would reveal Chris' secret.

"I guess I do like him in the future then," a surprised Piper quipped lightly, resting against one of the stools and looking a little confused. "Maybe I lose my mind?"

"I said we shouldn't have listened in," Paige grouched.

"You could have physically stopped me," Phoebe said, twitching her nose at Paige. Paige twitched her nose back, and fell silent.

"But, he said I'd been- uh- gone eight years," Piper said. "Wouldn't that put Chris-"

"-in his high school years?" Paige said. "Yup, miss cradle robber, it would indeed."

"Unless he's older than he looks," Phoebe offered.

Piper pulled a face. "Please. I just- I really can't see it ever happening." She glanced over in the direction of the living room. "It's just- Me and Chris? Ewwwww!"

"Seconded," an amused voice said. They looked up to see Chris standing there, leaning against the doorpost and shaking his head. They all looked at him guiltily. "You all finished eavesdropping now?"

"Yeahhh," Phoebe said, with the embarrassment of being caught out.

"Okay, wait up a second; you're saying the thought of being with me is ewwwww as well?" Piper demanded, suddenly realising the implications of what he just said.

Chris blanched quietly. "Uh- okay. Let's put this aside for a second. One day you will realise just exactly why it's disgusting, and then I will laugh at your expression hysterically."

"You could tell them now," Victor said, in a quiet sing-song.

Chris shot a death glare at his grandfather. "I could not," he said.

Victor folded his arms sternly.

"You promised you would," he said.

Chris shrugged. "I lied. It's not the first time and won't be the last. There's too much as could be ruined if they knew what would happen now."

"He's right." Pippa's voice came in tiredly, and she joined them in the kitchen, throwing an amused glance at Chris. "If I told you what I know of the future, it would be dangerous, and Christopher's seen a whole lot more of it."

"You see, there's that Christopher thing again," Paige grouched.

"Well I can see why he prefers Chris," Phoebe said. "I've never been too fond of Christopher."

"It was my father's name," Leo protested.

Phoebe blanched, and when Chris and Pippa and Victor all started to laugh hysterically, they thought it was from Phoebe's expression.


"You're sure you don't mind sleeping on the couch?" Piper looked doubtfully at it, even arranged as it was with sheets and pillows. "You can have the bed, I don't mind."

"Are you kidding?" Pippa grinned. "I'm so not going to kick my pregnant self out of my own bed-" She grimaced. "You know, if someone told me I was going to be saying things like this when I turned forty-five, I'd have smacked them."

"Forty-five?" Piper's eyes widened. "Wow."

Pippa shrugged. "There's no guarantees things will turn out the same," she said. "With Chris here in this timeline, I hope things will change."

Piper looked at her future self shrewdly as Pippa sat down on the couch-turned-bed. She took one of the armchairs opposite, resting her hands gingerly on her distended belly. "I guess I- do get close to Chris in the future?"

Pippa edged a look at Piper. "Yes. And much sooner than you'd think."

Piper watched the playful smile playing on her older counterpart. "Huh."

"Seriously, don't worry about me sleeping on this couch. The only other option would be kicking Chris off dad's couch, and I really don't want to have that close an acquaintance with Lumpy."

"Lumpy?"

Pippa nodded wryly. "You haven't been to dad's new apartment yet, have you?"

Piper shook her head. "No. He's been coming over here a lot since he moved in, to get glimpses of the Book of Shadows for Chris."

Pippa looked at Piper confusedly. "What do you mean?"

"Oh," Piper said, shaking one hand. "Uh, we had a slight misunderstanding with Chris, and, um, sort of kicked him out."

Pippa's eyes widened. "You didn't? Of all the stupid-"

"Hey, he was the one who brought a demon near Wyatt!" Piper snapped. "You would have done the same thing!"

"A demon?" Pippa asked, quietly.

"Apparently just to scan for evil," Piper said. "But put yourself in my position. You may know who he is, but we- we didn't. Don't. So unless you'd care to enlighten us—"

"No," Pippa said, shaking her head. "If Chris doesn't want you to know, then there'll be a damn good reason for it."

"I know," Piper said. "It's still hard, though. I mean, every time any of us have gone to the past, we've ended up spilling the truth in under twenty-four hours. Chris has been here nearly a year."

"God…" Pippa's face lightened several shades of pale. "I didn't know."

Piper took in the look of near anguish on her counterpart's face, and refused to acknowledge it too deeply. "He's let some things slip. Like, he's friends with- Paul?"

"You know about Paul?" The question came out hard, and then her face softened. "How- how is he? Have you- is he in the past too?"

"We got a visit from him. Two, actually. One was him barging in with a whole yeah, I'm your third son deal, and he- um- brought something with him…" Piper trailed off, the memory sickening her.

"What?"

"What was left of Bianca after Wyatt had finished with her, apparently," Piper said. Pippa looked like she was going to be sick.

"Oh, god…" Pippa looked off into the distance. "Both Wyatt and Paul gone… I guess I really did fail as a mom…"

"Well, Chris very forcefully said no when I tried to say something to that effect," Piper said. "And I'm beginning to think I should listen to what he says. He's had so many shocks. Apparently he thought Paul was dead, too. And, um, we know Wyatt killed Chris' mom, too."

"Right," Pippa said, nodding, the facts clearly overwhelming her. "Um, did anything happen in the second visit?"

"Wha- oh, from Paul…" Piper shrugged. "He just started a fight with Chris."

"Oh, yeah, that'll do it," Pippa said.

Piper looked at her, confused.

"Chris is very good at keeping secrets," Pippa said. "I should know. But- if you get him mad- that's when he sometimes accidentally lets things out. I'm guessing Paul provoked him to try and get Chris to let slip who he is, and get him in trouble."

"Thanks for the hint," Piper said wryly. She actually grinned when Pippa shot her a warning look. "All right. I won't push him. But put yourself in my position, you'd be just as curious."

The two women laughed, and continued to talk softly.

"Chris, can I have a word with you? Somewhere private?"

Leo looked at the young half-Whitelighter, a serious look on his face.

Phoebe and Paige exchanged a glance and slid off their stools. "We'll, um, go see Piper and Piper," Paige said, as she and Phoebe quickly left the room. Leo edged a look at Victor, who shook his head.

"You can say anything in front of him," Chris said quickly. "I don't mind."

Leo looked torn for a second, and then nodded. He brought up one hand, and a small blue forcefield shuddered into life around the kitchen. Victor's eyes widened.

"It's a silence barrier," Chris said, looking at Victor as if to reassure him. "It's a normal Whitelighter power."

"Silence- so the girls can't eavesdrop?" Victor said. Leo nodded, folding his arms across his chest.

"I want you to tell me exactly who you are," Leo said, his eyes fierce.

"Hell not!" Chris returned, mimicking Leo's gesture. They both took a step towards each other, glaring.

"No? For some future reason, yeah?" Leo's eyes glittered angrily. "I'm beginning to agree with what I thought first about you! You're scheming so you can have the future your own way."

"I've never disagreed with that," Chris said lightly. "But-"

"-you want me out of the way, and it's plain why, now. Piper. You've wanted me out of the way so you can have her all to yourself-"

"-and why shouldn't I?" Chris demanded. "You never looked after her properly!"

"At least I'm not psychotic!"

"God, you're so full of yourself!" Chris retorted angrily. "You're right, I have some psychological complexes – but need I remind you why? Because of your firstborn son! Going full-on evil and destroying the world!" Chris inhaled sharply, glowering darkly at Leo. They were so close now that Victor was contemplating getting a hose out and watering them down. Anger was palpable between the two.

"Yeah, and should I believe that?"

"You damn well should! Your ex-wife is in there, having narrowly escaped death by his hand!" Chris yelled.

"And you're so concerned about her," Leo snapped back. "That's why you want me out of the way so you can muscle in with her now, maybe save some lost time, I'll tell you now, your neurotic plans won't-"

"Me? Neurotic?" Chris' eyes were wide as he roared at Leo in complete disbelief. "I'll tell you, Leo Wyatt, that I may have many psychological complexes, but an oedipal complex is NOT ONE OF THEM!"