Neurotic
Summary: "My name's not Chris Perry" Chris said, as if it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to say. "It's Christopher." He paused, almost reluctantly. "Christopher Halliwell."
Disclaimer: Charmed and Chris don't belong to me, doo dah, doo dah, I'm not making any money from this, oh, dah doo dah day.
Chapter The Fourteenth
"I'll tell you, Leo Wyatt, that I may have many psychological complexes, but an oedipal complex is NOT ONE OF THEM!"
The words hung uncomfortably in the air. Words spoken like that can not be taken back, and that fact struck Chris heavily. The air, charged as it had been with an electricity brought forth of sheer anger, suddenly felt thick and cloying, like a heavy blanket trying to swamp them.
Leo's mouth moved uselessly, as if he was trying to breathe and couldn't find any air.
Finally, he managed two words, "Oedipal complex?"
The two words Chris managed weren't much better. "Oh, shit."
They were staring, and it was as if their gridlocked gaze would never break. For a few startled moments that felt like hours, they were locked as if made of stone.
"You're- you're my second son." Leo breathed the words out like they were a prayer. Chris blinked once, blinked again, and then shook his head as if to shake away the stupor they'd found themselves in.
"Uh-" Chris managed eloquently. He was startled by Leo's expression; the Elder's eyes were widened and he looked to be on the verge of tears. But not tears of pain, tears of wonder. It had been a long time since Chris had seen that expression on anybody, least of all his father. He looked down at his own shoes. Wow, they were scruffy… Why are you thinking of your shoes when he's stood there, staring like that at you! Anger bit into him, a life's worth of resentment gnawing at his damaged soul. "Biologically speaking, yes."
The words hit Leo almost as if he'd been slapped. His mouth fell open, but no words fell forth.
"No Elders in my time," Chris said simply. His eyes were cold, and Leo swallowed at the hardness in them – the lifetime of pain and sorrow and fighting always fighting for nothing, but you keep going, have to keep fighting smacking him in the gut, leaving him winded and sad.
"I-" Leo tried to force words out, but they got caught up in his throat. He swallowed, and tried again. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Chris looked at him as if he had gone completely crazy. "Right. The few times in my life I saw you, in the remotest context as a father, you lectured me on keeping the timeline pure, if I ever found myself in a situation where I was out of my time." He looked away, lost, chewing at his lower lip.
Leo studied the turned-away face, and saw Piper's gentleness in the arch of his eyebrows, the curves of his cheekbones, and he alternated between marvelling that he hadn't seen it before, and hating himself that he had not. Facts churned in his belly, raising bile in his throat, and he stumbled backwards, falling and landing on a stool by chance rather than design.
"I'm sorry," Chris said. "I know it must come as a horrible shock." Chris was still looking away now, but his arms were across his chest now. A defensive position.
"God, no!" Leo blurted. "I'm proud of you."
Chris whirled on his heel, staring at Leo in disbelief. Hatred shone across his face, blazing and open. "How? You don't even know who I am," he said simply. He turned again, and stormed out of the kitchen, waving his hand almost arbitrarily and dispelling the barrier as he walked out.
Leo stared uncomprehendingly at the doorway as the barrier shuddered automatically back into place. Muted by the intensity of everything he had just discovered, (his own worst fears come to life, and yet, joyous too) he simply stared, lost.
It took Victor to break the unnatural silence.
"Uh, oedipal complex?" Victor questioned briefly.
Leo turned to him slowly, but Victor had the distinct impression that the lights were on, but nobody was home. Although he had often had this opinion about Leo, this was the first time he could really apply it properly. "It's, uh, a term Sigmund Freud coined, about – uh – the predilection of a child to love one parent, usually the mother, in a sexual manner, and to develop a hatred of the other parent. Based from the Greek myth of Oedipus, who married his mother and murdered his father."
"I thought it was something along those lines," Victor said, with the expression of someone who is pretending to know more than they know.
"Right," Leo said slowly. "You knew who he was."
"Yes, I did," Victor said. He walked across the room and took the seat opposite Leo. "You know, it was one of the most damned bravest thing I've ever seen anyone do. He came to me, with no reference apart from the girls' suspicion, and- actually, it was quite funny."
Leo frowned at the small smile that quirked onto Victor's face. "How so?"
"Oh," said Victor. "I jumped to the same wrong conclusion that you did." He smirked a little. "Christopher told me Piper was pregnant with him, and I –of course- jumped to the conclusion that she was pregnant by him."
Leo's mouth twitched, and then he forced it to still, and then it twitched again before developing into an actual laugh. "Heh, so maybe he does have an oedipal complex."
"Not funny, I don't think that's funny," Victor said quickly, even while he smiled.
"It's not funny," Leo suddenly whispered, the sound course and resounding with a melancholy that touched Victor's heart. Suddenly they were on the same wavelength again – they were both fathers separated forcibly from their children.
Pain stilled their lips.
"Did you know he was head of the resistance against Wyatt?" Leo blurted out.
Victor looked at him, surprised. "No."
Leo looked down at the counter-top, a troubled expression playing on his face. "I pushed Chris for details about my second son… and he didn't even falter! He just lied away like- like he's been doing it his whole life…" He fell quiet again. I lied. It's not the first time and won't be the last. Chris' earlier words haunted him. "What kind of life has he been living to have to be this way?"
"The kind of life that we are going to prevent from happening to anyone. We're going to find who turns Wyatt, and we're going to stop them," Victor said simply.
"That easy, huh?" Leo said, his voice burning with self-loathing.
"That easy," Victor agreed, his voice light, but his eyes betraying the truth that really, he wasn't so sure.
"Hey, are you all right?" Phoebe asked, concerned. She felt a small wave of pain coming from one of them, and it troubled her.
Leo and Victor had finally come out of the kitchen. Victor had extracted a promise from Leo to let Chris tell the girls when he felt it necessary. Leo had readily agreed, not wanting to alienate Chris even further.
"Chris stomped past a few minutes ago with a face like a thunderstorm," Paige added, looking worriedly up at them. "What happened?"
"I got him mad," Leo said weakly.
"So you found out who he was?" Piper asked quickly.
Leo gaped. "How did you-"
"You did?" Piper said, her mouth falling open. "So who is he?"
Pippa rolled her eyes a little, but stayed tentatively on the end of the couch anyway. If Leo were about to spill who Chris was, then she was ready to fight him to stop him from doing it, if necessary. If Chris had wanted them to know, they would have known already.
"I can't tell you," Leo said weakly, looking strung out. "I promised."
"Great! Fan-frigging-tastic," Piper grouched, a wince crossing her face as her baby kicked at her. She looked down at her distended belly, and then dubiously across at Pippa. "Did your second baby kick you when you cussed?"
"Oh, yeah," Pippa said, a sad smile on her face. "A real Mr. Manners."
"Anyway, I- have to go," Leo said, looking pained. He looked away as he orbed. Piper looked down as he disappeared, the pain of his departure again constricting in her throat.
"Does this pain ever stop?" Piper asked her counterpart quietly.
The smile that crossed Pippa's face was a cacophony of emotion, of regret, pain, anguish, suffering, happiness, misery, and an absolute longing for something she would never have. "No," Pippa admitted, honestly. "But there are some things that make up for it. Make it better."
"God, I hope so…" Piper said.
"…Yo! ho, how we go!
Oh! how the winds blow!
"White Wings" they never grow weary,
They carry me cheerily over the sea.
Night comes, I long for my dearie,
I'll spread out my "White Wings"
And sail home to thee…"
The song floated easily out on the air. The sea crashed against the shore, and the sun sparkled down on the idyllic if abandoned scene.
Moments later, a dark figure orbed onto the scene, his arms folded over his chest. Paul looked around at the scene, scowling, as the last notes of the song, summoning him, faded away.
Before him, an image of Wyatt materialised. "Yo, ho. How do we go?"
Paul turned away, angrily, staring out to the sea. "Mom used to sing us that song."
"Mom used to do a lot of things," Wyatt replied airily. "How's the Paige situation going?"
"It isn't," Paul snapped back. "If you'd forgotten, I'm still pissed at you."
"My, my. How your language has deteriorated in this time zone," Wyatt said, smirking at his youngest brother.
Paul turned back to him, glaring. "I'll deal with Paige in my own time. It's not like she's going anywhere."
"I really am proud of that backbone you've developed. Besides, that can wait. I have a different plan." Wyatt's eyes, despite being an illusion, were dark and black and altogether unremorseful.
"Oh? What is it? Pull Chris' hair and wait for him to snap?" Paul mocked. "No, wait, I'll start a tickling match with him. You know he's got that sensitive bit under his left ribs…"
"Paul Daniel Halliwell, your impetuousness is not cute," Wyatt ground out. "Now, listen, or you know what I can do-"
"Yes, yes," Paul said, making a show of idly checking his fingernails and assuming a bored expression. "Big bad Wyatt will strike again."
Wyatt's upper lip curled. "I want you to visit Yenene."
Paul stared at him a little. "Why?"
"Because once upon a time, she was the mentor for the Seer – a personal friend of our dear ex-Uncle Cole," Wyatt said.
Paul stared at him, confused. "What's that got to do with-"
"Patience, my dear fellow." Wyatt sounded extremely amused. Paul's insides coiled – when Wyatt sounded amused, hell inevitably followed. "She taught the Seer the greatest poison of them all. A black potion, which, when ingested, enhances the thirst for power inside someone."
"The potion the Seer made Aunt Phoebe drink?" Paul stared at Wyatt, doom advancing upon him like a stalker he could not shake. "And what- what do you want me to do with this potion, once I – presumably – get her to make me some?"
Wyatt laughed. "Why, give it to Piper."
"Why?"
"Because the potion, once ingested, will affect not just her, but her unborn child…"
