Neurotic


Summary: "My name's not Chris Perry," Chris said, as if it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to say. "It's Christopher." He paused, almost reluctantly. "Christopher Halliwell."

Disclaimer: Charmed and Chris don't belong to me, doo dah, doo dah, I'm not making any money from this, oh, dah doo dah day.


Chapter The Fifteenth


"Right, so what's on my list of things to do today." Paige leant full across the table, leaning her head on her hands, using her elbows to drag the Maps closer to her. She peered at the columns for a while. "Hmmm, two demon vanquishes - power of three - for later. Brewin' a potion, and callin' some exes."

Instead of moving straight back, Paige slumped on the table, and pretended to sleep.

"Paige," Chris warned, shaking his head at her.

"Whaaat," Paige grouched, getting up and smoothing down her rumpled shorts. "I quit my temp jobs to get this done as fast as possible, and that sucked, so I think I am deserving of a period-free of Chris-nagging."

"Chris-nagging," Chris repeated, in disbelief. "You know what, I'll start on the beginning of the potion, you start dialling, and I'll call you once it comes to the tricky part."

Paige rolled her eyes. "Yes, master."

Chris' eyes darkened for a second, and he looked at her with a look of real anguish that Paige found herself wanting to apologise. "No one will ever be your master, Paige. As your Whitelighter, I'm your guardian, advisor, but not ever a dictator."

With that said, he casually picked up the piece of paper with the potion recipe scrawled neatly on, and turned on his heel to head upstairs to the attic.

Paige gaped at him. "But I-" Her voice fell away as he disappeared upstairs. Still feeling wound up by the trapped feeling she still had, staying at home and not working, she despised herself for a second. This was for the greater good, for her baby nephew. All of her baby nephews, come to think on it.

A few weeks discomfort for a happy future was definitely worth a couple of relaxed moments and then hell on earth.

Fuelling herself with that thought, she took up the list of numbers she was due to call that day (a lot, between Phoebe and Piper and Prue they'd probably dated half of San Francisco - the male half) and bounced into the kitchen with a cheery smile.

The sight made her laugh. Piper and Pippa were cooking and cleaning, alternating between each while cooing over baby Wyatt. She paused, hanging off the doorway, unconciously mimicking Chris' position yesterday when he had eavesdropped on them speculating in the kitchen about who he was.

Even though Chris had protested there was nothing between him and Piper like that, there had still been the I love you they'd overheard, and the I love you too. If they weren't involved, why would they say something like that? But why would Chris lie about it?

She was feeling almost as if she was coming to some sort of conclusion that would solve the big Chris-shaped puzzle that was Chris, as several small facts started to clamour for her attention, if she could only just figure it out-

"Hey, day-dreamer."

Piper's voice, warm and soft like honey, broke her out of her reverie. Startled, Paige blinked three times in rapid succession.

"Oh, um, sorry. I was just coming to grab the cordless and tell you the phone would be occupied for the next hour or so," Paige said, quickly moving across the kitchen and grabbing the aforementioned phone. She looked down at the cooling racks. "Oooh, gingersnaps." Her hand reached out for one. Pippa slapped it away with a grin. "Aw, this is not fair," Paige grouched. "Two of you against the one of me." She pouted. "Make me a really chewy one, yeah?"

"They're in right now," Piper said, grinning as she rested.

Paige nodded. "Fantastic. Oh-" she tilted her head as the thought occured to her "-Chris just got majorly PMS-y with me when I sarcastically called him master. D'you have any idea why-"

Pippa blinked, realising the question was directed at her. She turned to Paige, and Paige was struck again by how similar the two were - they could be twins. In fact, if Pippa hadn't told them she was forty-five, then they'd have never known how far in the future Piper would be attacked by her own son.

Pippa shrugged. "No idea. Although..." It looked as if her mind was working over an idea.

"Although," Paige prompted hopefully.

"If what he's said- about Wyatt ruling the world... Maybe it's just an inherent distaste of dictatorship of any kind after seeing first-hand what can happen," Pippa said, chewing her lower lip thoughtfully. "It's just a thought," she added, hurriedly. Her face looked blank. "I just wish I didn't think those things, sometimes."

"Um. Thanks, anyway," Paige said, bobbing her head a little. She turned as if to go, then with a grin ran to the counter, grabbed a handful of still warm gingersnaps and ran off yelling in triumph to the sitting room.

Piper and Pippa looked at each other and just rolled their eyes.

Settling onto the couch with her well-earned prize, and snuggling up in the blankets seeing as they were there anyway, Paige piled the cookies in a pile on the side table before unfolding the paper. Bringing out the phone, she scanned down the list of names.

Alphabetical order. Boring. Chris was so predictable, sometimes! Still mad at him, for some reason that Paige couldn't fully explain, but was probably prolongued by that uncomfortable thought that she'd had earlier -that she was so close to figuring out just who he was, and why Victor trusted him and future Piper loved him and Leo understood enough not to tell them too...

Damn it! She was close earlier, but now she felt the facts swimming away, and leaving her. In frustration, she picked up a pen, and waved it around above the paper. She closed her eyes and jabbed at one of the names.

"Dan Gordon." Paige spoke the name aloud. She'd heard the name somewhere before, maybe the sisters had mentioned it, but he was obviously before her time. Listen to yourself. Before your time. Making your sisters sound like old fogeys. She stifled the thought before it got too strong and Phoebe could feel it. Even though Phoebe was half-way across the city (still in her job) having an empathic sister still made her a little paranoid on occasion.

She read the number off the sheet, and then dialled it in. The area code was for somewhere in Seattle. Shrugging, she dialled the number and held it to her ear.

"Hello, this is Paige Matthews. I'm looking for a Mr. Dan Gordon?... He's moved?... I'm afraid it's very important I have his new number, yes... Uh, yes, I'm family. Sister-in-law," she lied quickly. The voice on the other end reeled a number off and she took it down. "Thank you very much."

As she got off the phone, she looked down at the number she had written down. It had a San Francisco code. Raising her eyebrows slightly, she dialled the number.


"Yeah, got it, thanks." Struggling under the last box the removal guy handed him, Dan Gordon lowered it to the ground, and grabbed the proferred clipboard offered to him. Scrawling his name, Dan cheefully said thanks, and when the guy had disappeared, he leant against the door and closed his eyes in relief that it was all over.

After taking a brief moment to revel in the silence and lack of mayhem, he straightened and took a long look around his new apartment. It was small, but clean, and a remarkable find. The apartments on the lower floors were a lot scruffier, but this one was clean, modern and big enough for him, and a guestroom for if Jenny were to come stay over.

He'd tried his hardest to stay away from San Francisco. After a long period of trying to blank it all out from his mind, pretending it hadn't happened, he'd felt the inexorable drag to come back. It was like something was physically pulling him back. He had noticed it at first, thought it was the golden thought of Piper, and then had pushed it away. But it had continued, tugging at him slightly. Nearly every day he saw something that reminded him of San Francisco.

And he missed it, dammit! He missed the clean streets, the nightlife, the friendly people, staring at the Golden Gate bridge as the light died at nighttime... He'd been at peace in Seattle, but had grown restless. His heart sang out for him to join the fight, the fight he knew was going on everyday and that he'd wanted so badly to ignore.

The phone ringing startled him out of his thoughts. Remembering the mistake of moving to San Francisco that time with Jenny, he'd paid the phone guy double to do plug it in ahead of his visit, and now was regretting it. However, he had paid Sharon at the office to forward calls from friends or family to the new number...

He picked up the handset, one hand in the back pocket of his jeans. "Hello?"

"Dan Gordon?"

Dan didn't recognise the female voice that floated down the line, but it sounded a little familiar. Something about the delivery sounded... recognisable... although he couldn't place the tone. "Speaking."

"Hello, you don't know me, but my name is Paige Matthews. I'm, uh, Piper Halliwell's youngest sister."

The words floored him. Here he'd been, valiantly trying not to think about Piper (it's been nearly four years, you idiot, move on!) and her name had been mentioned. Then his brain properly kicked in. Paige? He'd thought Piper's youngest sister was called Phoebe. So he said so.

"Oh, they only found out about me three years ago," Paige explained. Her voice was warm, and Dan realised why he found it so familiar - being around Piper that long, like a family member would be, would make anyone pick up some of her voice mannerisms.

"Oh," Dan said. It was all he could think of to say. "Uh, how is she? I mean, all of you? Prue, Phoebe-"

There was a stillness on the other end of the line, and then a hitch in Paige's breathing, as if something had hurt her. "I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this. Uh, Prue died. Three years ago."

Prue- was dead? Piper's older, driven, fiery sister was dead? Dan had always been struck by how alive Prue was, how ready she was to face down anything that threatened her or her family... But dead? No... and Piper- His throat tightened. Piper loved her so much...

"How- how did it happen?" He found himself asking.

"Uh-" She managed, and Dan knew in that instant that Paige was going to lie to him.

Staring straight ahead of him, and standing straighter, Dan decided to get straight to the point. "Was it a demon?" He asked quietly.

He'd thought it would shock her. He didn't expect her to drop the phone.

"Sorry for dropping the phone," she said after a while. "Um, are you doing anything today"

Dan took a long look around the room, piled high with boxes and with the furniture all shoved together at the end of the room. He glanced at the fridge, knowing exactly how empty it was. He thought of the million things he had to do that were generally associated with moving in.

"Nothing," he said, down the phone. "Shall I come over?"

That made Paige pause again. "Yeah. Um, there's gingernaps- lots of gingersnaps- Uh, do you know where the manor is? Oh, stupid, of course you know where the manor is. Um, twelve o' clock all right for you? You can stay for lunch. Um. If you want."

"Twelve's fine," Dan said, knowing he would probably try and skip out quickly but he could get lunch at one of the sunny San Francisco cafés he remembered. "See you then," he said easily, and as Paige made a similar statement, he dropped the phone back onto the cradle. His eyes settled on nothing in particular. What had he just agreed to?


"I think I just stunned Piper," Paige announced as she climbed the last stair into the attic. Chris looked up at her over the admittedly huge pipette he was wielding, and frowned. "All right," she ammended. "I stunned one of them, and made Pippa start to laugh."

"What did you do?" Chris asked as he started to add some fernwort to the simmering mixture in their - and it always made Paige laugh - cauldron.

"Invited Dan Gordon over," Paige said, sticking both her hands in her pockets, twisting her mouth and looking up to the ceiling, as if she knew she'd done something blatently wrong.

"You did?" Chris shot her a look, and he smiled a little. "Cool."

Paige did a doubletake. "Cool? You- know him"

A look flashed across Chris' face. "Are you kidding? Best player the Seattle Mariners ever had!"

Paige scrunched her nose up, and then her mouth fell open. "That Dan Gordon? The baseball player?"

"That Dan Gordon," Chris said. "The Dan Gordon that Piper almost chose over Leo." He looked as if he thought it was one of Piper's worst decisions.

"Rea-lly," Paige said, drawing out the syllable and sounding interested. She pursed her lips. "I didn't tell them that apparently he knows about demons."

Chris took this information in his stride, which made Paige think that Chris knew way more about Dan Gordon than he was letting on. "Probably not a good idea," he admitted. "Bet Piper was just shocked he was turning up."

"You could say that again," Paige said. There was a still a wry twist to her lips that Chris knew well. She hadn't told him everything.

"What else?" He asked, suspiciously.

"I invited him over for lunch," Paige said. "In about half an hour."

Chris edged a look down at the stairs, and obviously was imagining Piper panicking. A guy she'd been crazy over was coming, and there she was - sat in the kitchen with her older self - baking gingernaps with said future self and her firstborn child. Not to mention being, oh, just over four weeks until she gave birth to her second son.

Both of them could almost hear the panic, and they started to laugh.

"Come on," Chris said, through a choked laugh that didn't come fully out. "Let's finish that potion. It should be finished by the time he's here."


Dan checked his watch as he stared up at the manor. It hadn't changed. The windows glared at him forbiddingly, and that damn door that had plagued him for so long was shut, as if to pointedly say, nuh-nuh-ne-nuh-nuh.

He wanted to turn away. Piper was probably still very happily married, and was probably all over Leo and- But part of him cried out you still want to see her, if only it's just this once. And who knows? Maybe you were right? Maybe he wasn't right for her, after all...

With a deep breath, he walked up the steps, each one making his legs feel heavier and heavier. He stood at the door, and knocked. He could face his worse fears. He could face Leo Wyatt and smile and not punch out the lucky bastard's front teeth. He could do this, dammit!

He lifted up his hand. He knocked. The door opened.

A brunette young woman with very pale skin was standing at the door, smiling at him hesitantly, in long shorts and a tank top. Her eyes were a familiar colour. He realised she must be Paige. "Uh, hi, you must be Dan," she said, warmly.

He nodded, and moved to extend his hand forward to shake her hand, when he saw it. A very large, very ugly demon suddenly appearing as if from nowhere behind her, raising a large pointy thing at her.

"DEMON!" He bellowed, and did the first thing that came to mind. He flung himself forwards, relying on his sports training to tackle Paige solidly to the ground. She fell with a muffled squeak, and the demon's sword thunked into the door.

"Holy sh-" A familiar voice yelped, and Dan looked up in time to see a heavily pregnant Piper skid onto the scene and bring up her hands. The demon exploded in a fiery twist of nothingness.

Dan sighed in relief, and got to his feet, helping Paige up as he did so. She looked startled.

But not as startled as he was when a second Piper ran around the corner, wielding a frying pan.

He looked around at the scene dazedly, absently noticing Phoebe's absence, and he bristled a little as a young man came softly down the stairs. He had brown hair, hanging lankly into his sea-green eyes, and he felt somewhat... dangerous.

Dan swallowed, and grinned. "Well, at least I managed to get through the door" he quipped. "Mind explaining to me why there's two of you?"

"Um," Piper said. "This is Pippa, and she's... from the future."

"It's a long story," Paige interjected from the side, her pale face shining with worry.

Dan looked at the scene slowly, and the words came easily to him. "I've got time."