Kids these days.
They relentlessly murmur and grumble, hissing over how bad that old man Mr. Akasuna is, the toughest, frumpiest, and most grumpy teacher at their school. Wrinkles, unkept grey hair and his reading glasses; making all the female students gag. He was short, thin and old. At first they just assumed knew he was in his late fifties, maybe his sixties, as he often bragged about being over half a century old. Thus for he knew leaps and bounds more than they did as well as deserved far more respect than they already gave them.
In reality he was just bragging about being a mean old man.
To top of off, with a gross, mucus sounding cough and hoarse yelling, the kids this year were so over him. Even when they found out his sixty- second birthday was coming up, they planned nothing nice for him, even went as far as to all agree to be extra irritating as if to push him over the edge and into retirement.
The man was a heartless fiend. Without a second glance or without a care in the world, all your break plans at lunch you had with your friends or your after school activities were over as he would send you to his detention tomb without a moment to spare. This man- no- creature, had no favorite students and each teen knew it. They also knew that would never change no matter how much ass kissing they tried. This old man hated everyone and cared for no one.
It was a shock why he was a teacher in the first place.
If you were one of the lucky ones, you just got lunch time detention. Sitting there in silence as you ate, not daring to make a noise. Slowly eating so as not to drop a crumb lest you wipe every desk clean or sweep the entire room, being careful not to drop your utensil causing a loud noise, and heaven forbid you chew with your mouth open. Any noise of any sort earned you a glare and often an added after school detention. No one wanted to stay after school hours if they didn't need to; especially with Mr. Akasuna.
The other teachers loved it as it not only struck fear into their own students hearts that they might go to Mr. Akasuna's detention hall, but to them it seemed that the old man actually enjoyed his time with the trouble makers as he offered to be the permanent jail keeper. As if he had a sadistic core that desires to strike fear in the hearts of teens. It was also nice as it left all the other staff as 'the good guys' and not 'the bad guy' like the old man.
Sitting during the lunch hour detention hour was hell alright; as the kids would watch as Mr. Akasuna would, without a word, take his seat and get out his tin lunch box. Of course as always, he would carefully pull out his neatly prepared lunches. Today it was a sandwich, cut again into two small triangles, without the crust, and a small thermos of soup. Silently he would eat, carefully and slowly, then put everything away and get back to work like he had nothing else he would like to do on his break.
On a particular day, before he ate, a few regular trouble making boys watched him particularly well as they actually noticed something. They watched as he put on his reading glasses and stared intensely at a small piece of paper that was in his tin. Of course the boys had a near heart attack as they heard their heartless teacher scoff at the paper, his new found gravely voice loudly ringing with bitter tones, leading into a gross coughing fit. Into his desk as he cleared his throat, he pulled out a notebook and placed the paper inside.
The boys could only wonder; what was that paper? What was written on it? Where did it come from?
The next day the three boys arrived at detention hall, Mr. Akasuna's class, early with a plan. They knew they didn't have long as the old man was just down the hall in the staff room to making a few photocopies. Having one stand near the door, the other two easily broke into their dreaded teachers desk, finding the notebook they saw the man use earlier placed in a odd spot in the drawer. Almost as if it was being hidden.
"Well, here goes nothing!" One boy whispered loudly as he took a deep breath, opening the black leather book.
Inside, the two boys raised their brows at the massive accumulation of little notes, all in the same poorly scribbled handwriting. On each one in not only red ink, but also in someone else's neat writing, was a commemorative date. Each and every one of them.
"Well?" Called the boy keeping watch near the door, "What's in it?"
One of the boys reading the book gagged while the other shook his head in disbelief. Each page was carefully decorated with the most lovey dovey notes, dripping with affection. Some were even just ridiculous doodles of weird creatures!
"Love notes!" The boy who shook his head gasped, not only responding to his friend, but also bursting out the shock from his very core.
The boy who gagged slapped his forehead, "I didn't know Mr. Akasuna was even married!"
The boy at the door abandoned his station and ran over, needing to see this heart filled act for himself, "Gross... the poor lady. What could she have possibly done in her past life to deserve a husband like Akasuna?"
"Maybe she was a mass murderer and this is how she's paying for her crimes...?"
"Yeah! Only another psycho would love someone like Akasuna... yuck!"
Thankfully for them, thick coughing could be heard down the hall, alerting them to their teachers return as their watchdog had left his post. Quickly, they put the book back carefully and returned to their seats, ready for Mr. Akasuna and eventually the other detentioners to show up.
Mr. Akasuna of course walked in scowling, clearing his throat as he sat down. For once he actually acknowledged his detentioners as they showed up oddly early. Instead of questioning them he only glared at them a moment before setting his photocopies to the side and getting out his tin lunch box while the rest of the students rushed in for their punishment. As usual, he took the note off his lunch, scoffed at it and placed it carefully in his book and dating it in red ink.
"Gotta hand it to him though..." one of the boys whispered, "he saves every single one. Who knew the guy was so romant-"
"Silence! One more peep out of you and I will see you after school as well!" Mr. Akasuna roared.
"Yes sir!"
Back in class, while everyone was working away, they cringed as their teacher blew his nose, the awful sound of his snot bubbling, ringing throughout the class room. Mucus coughs and more throat clearing- it's been clear for awhile now that their teacher was very sick with a cold, but was unfortunately just too stubborn to take a sick day. He apparently never does! For just once, his students dreamed of the day they would walk in to see a substitute. A day with smiles, easy work and no detention.
There was a knock on the door sending chills into the students souls. Were their prayers being answered? Was the second half of the day going to be without the nasty old man? Had he finally called in sick and this was the angelic replacement arriving to save their poor souls? Had their angel truly arrived?
"Yes?"
Two girls stick their heads in, lowly pointing them down in revered fear of the old teacher, "Uhm, Mr. Akasuna, sir..."
"Spit it out already!"
"We met this strange man in the hallway... he said he needed to see you urgently."
The students noticed as the color drained from their teacher's face.
"Send him away!" Mr. Akasuna growled, standing a bit and slamming his thin hands on his desk as if to show he meant business. However the act seemed to be too much for the sick old man as he ended right back up in his seat from a mixture of exhaustion and dizziness.
Unlucky for their teacher, his request was quickly denied and the students flinched as the rest of the door slammed open. Their hearts immediately began to soar as there stood the coolest looking guy in the world. Long blond hair that still looked a tad wet , strikingly handsome features and... half a face of facial hair?
Seriously, not like it was a style or anything. This man at the door looked like he got three, maybe four swipes in with his razor on his cheek and just gave up. It was kinda a hot mess.
Walking in in his tight dark jeans and leather jacket, whoever's dad was this... he was everyone's dream dad! Not only that, by the looks of it, he was going to yell at crusty old Akasuna! Oh how the kids were on the edge of their seats, dying to hear this cool dude tell that old bastard off - who could only scowl in his seat as he held his head with his hand for if he didn't he would flop over from being too dizzy.
"Go."
"No."
"Why are you even here?" Akasuna growled, "You- your face is half shaved! You're a mess."
The cool man scoffed and crossed his arms as he jutted out his hip in the most charismatic manner, "Well no duh! Didn't you hear those little sweeties?" He gestured back to the girls who were still shyly standing at the door, twirling their hair as the handsome gentleman called them endearing names, "It's an emergency!"
"Fine. What?"
Digging into his shoulder bag, the cool dude handed Mr. Akasuna his little metal lunch box, "You forgot this at home, hmph!"
Mr. Akasuna looked up at the stranger in the classroom with wary eyes, "Oh... that doesn't explain your appearance. Why did you only shave half your face? Please tell me it's not to search for your new tingly stimulations, so your senses don't dull up... or something like that."
"That's not even what I say! And excuuuse me Sasori. I was getting ready for the day and while I was shaving the phone rang," his hands shot up while explaining, "while answering it I noticed the lunch kit on the counter, so I wiped my face off, picked you up some more cough drops and rushed here!" Digging into his pocket the man handed him the said cough drops.
Mr. Akasuna pursed his lips, "Thank you... wait a darn moment here you brat!"
"What now?"
"Did you just barge into the school!?"
"Yeah? So?"
"This is a closed campus, Deidara!" Mr. Akasuna slammed his hand against the desk, " I've told you this before, you as well and I could get in trouble for this!"
"It was an emergency!"
"Not really, I could have just gotten something from the cafeteria."
Deidara gasped hand to chest as if his heart inside were breaking into a thousand pieces, "What? And let my Danna eat that trash?" his hands then went up in the air dramatically once more, "What kind of husband would I be then? You're sick too! Take the cough drops and eat your damn soup I made!"
Sasori furrow his brows, rubbing them as he scowled loudly. This had to happen now? While he was teaching? In front of his students!? If Deidara had just waited twenty more minutes, his class would have been dismissed for lunch instead of having this ridiculous public spectacle.
Lowering his glasses down his nose and voice to a growl, "Honey... Go home."
Both hands on his hips and a great hair flip, the blond man scoffed loudly, "And this is how I'm treated?" He turned to the class, "is he like this to you kids too?"
Sitting there in shock at the spectacle. They didn't dare say a word against their heartless teacher, as the man with the big heart and personality, caused a wild scene. What were they supposed to say anyway? Go against their teacher just this once and then get a years worth or detention? No way! Instead only one brave boy could ask what the rest of the classroom was thinking,
"Who are you?"
"I'm Deidara, his husband, un."
They watched as their teacher hit his face against his desk, fist clenched. Still, two things now went through each student's head. First, they had no clue the old man was gay. Weren't gays fun and exciting? Not bitter and crusty. Second was-
"No way... how!?"
Their teachers husband, Deidara, had to be in his mid to late forties. Young, cool and handsome. Now this man just by his explosive gestures alone, they could easily believe was a gay man. The man was full of life, cheerful, seemed a little devious, and overflowing with love for everything.
Guess their teacher was either good at hiding himself or their perception of the gay community they knew was presented as grossly stereotypical. One more look at the blond though... perhaps their teacher was just the odd one here.
Deidara shrugged as he leaned against his husband's desk, "Same as how most young people meet nowadays; mutual friends at a club."
"What? Old man Akasuna? At a club!?"
"Well... this was when he was a 'younger man Akasuna.'" Deidara hummed, "Still kinda old cause he was thirty-five, but hella charming!"
Charming? Akasuna? No way! This blond though- he was charming!
"Seriously..." a boy put up his hand catching Deidara's attention, "how did a heartless grump like Mr. Akasuna get you?"
Sasori glared up from his head pounding and at his student who so callously called him a heartless grump. Not that the boy was wrong, it was just rude to point such a thing out. Perhaps we wasn't being tough enough in teaching proper manners. Kids these days!
"Oh... I was nineteen and naive." Deidara simply laughed as he twirled his long hair, "but he bought me a sweet drink and served me a smooth pick up line."
Now this was incredibly interesting. This pick up line had to be the most suave and cool one on the planet if it managed to get Akasuna a date. Not to mention there was that age gap when the flirting occurred. If the boys had this information? Imagine all the ladies they could get!
"What was the pick up line!" One boy cried.
"Tell us, please!" Another boy bellowed.
"We beg you!" A third pleaded.
Sasori increased his head to desk pounding.
Deidara sucked his teeth and broke into a smile, "Well he gave me a cherry bomb cocktail and asked me..."
The boys, no, every student leaned foreword...
"If I was a piece of art because he wanted to nail me to a wall, hm!"
The only sound in the room after those words left his lips was the massive thud of their teacher giving it his all in one mighty face smash to his desk. Each student was smart enough not to make a peep, not to say a word, and to hold their laughter in lest they ruin the rest of their sweet youth.
"Oh Danna! Are you okay? Did you just faint!?"
"Deidara... please..."
Deidara knelt at Sasori's side, his hands firmly clasped into his own, "Oh anything darling!"
"I promise you I'll take a damn sick day tomorrow if you just..."
"Yes?"
"Go HOME."
Kissing Sasori on the cheek, Deidara laughed, "Deal! Finally you can have some time to rest...Oh!"
Sasori flinched at Deidara screeching in his face, the student being no exception as they tried to still their rapidly beating hearts. While they watchedon, Deidara reached onto his husbands desk and pulled out a tissue from the conveniently placed box. Moving his husbands glasses up and pushing back his moppy hair, he used the tissue and rubbed the inner corners of his eyes, clearing them of any residual eye gunk.
"There ya go, Love, hn." Deidara chimed happily, kissing Sasori's forehead before pulling the glasses back down.
Surprisingly enough, Sasori made no effort to swat his husband away nor scold him. Some even swore they saw their teachers lips move silently making the blond stranger smile wider than ever. However, once Deidara walked out of the room smiling from ear to ear, Sasori quickly changed back, grabbing the phone and ringing up the school secretary informing her that Deidara,
"Yes... once again he's snuck in here. Yes, my apologies."
There was a moment of silence after he hung up. Sighing heavily he drummed his slender fingers on his tin lunch kit, where on top were the cough drops. Opening them in silence he popped one in his mouth and stared into space, not acknowledging his room full of his students with their wide eyes.
"That..." Sasori finally said with his gravelly voice, even after clearing it, "was my husband, Deidara. No further discussions on the matter. I guess there will be a substitute tomorrow."
Knees wiggles in excitement and there were a few fist pumping under their desks. Their teachers husband was an angel. The angel they had been dreaming of.
"However! That does not mean there will be any slacking! As soon as I get back there will be a test!"
"Awwww!"
"Tch!" Sasori growled at his whiny students, "Kids these days."
-x-
At the end of the day the three boys who broke into their teachers desk sighed as they looked into the grey sky, autumn leaves crunching under their feet. Each pondering the sight they saw earlier that day involving their teacher and his newly discovered gem of a husband.
"You know, Akasuna has such a nice husband. Makes you wonder why he's such a jerk." One said. "He was a such a goofy guy. Who knew The Grouch was into that sorta thing?"
"Maybe there are things we just don't know about the guy? That blond seemed to be pretty gaga for Mr. Akasuna." Another spoke up.
"Right right... and those notes in his lunch that he keeps!"
"Yeah, even though the blond was silly and all touchy... Akasuna never once got mad! He kinda just, patiently accepted it."
"Weird... makes you realize old man Akasuna has a heart after all."
Finally the last boy chuckled, earning his friends attention, "Yeah, he's got one alright. It's just not for us."
Prompt: heart/less
so he's not heartless after all! happy 2019 sasori mini bang. i may write an epilogue for this.. to better explain some..stuff?
sorry if having the unnamed students made it confusing.
bye losers!
