The teen was salty as heck. He never asked to move to a new house, he never asked to move to a new town, and he certainly never asked to move to a new schools Especially after the year had already started! He'd be in a new town, new school and new friends... if he ever made any that is. This possibly couldn't get any worse for the boy in the prime of his teen life.
"Oh! So you'll be attending the school that Mr. Akasuna teaches at."
"Who?"
"Over there, that's Mr. Akasuna's house." The neighbor pointed, gesturing to across the street.
The boy rolled his eyes as he now got the information from overhearing his mother and his new gossiping neighbors that person across the street may or may not be his new teacher. This was just great. What a way to start the his new life. Of course there was yet another reason to hate it all. Why did his dad have to move back here? Didn't he tell him just a few years ago he would never move back to his hometown due to unspoken trauma in his teen years; and here they are because his father's new job. It was like he was okay with subjecting his son to whatever he went through!
This was the worst.
At his new school, the boy's first day was so far quite easy as the teachers were quite lenient on him. They gave him very little to catch up on and were nothing but supportive. That was awfully kind of them. When lunch rolled along and he needed somewhere to sit? The kids were also very friendly! In fact this place was oddly in line. No one was rowdy, no one broke any rules, and in classes they were absolutely polite. Maybe this place wasn't so bad after all... until he saw a few kids crying in the hall as they exited their classroom. Perhaps they watched a sad movie about war? What else could make a pack of teen boys weep?
"Lemme see your schedule!" A chipper boy spoke, taking it from the new student while they got to know each other during their break, "Uh-huh... Yeah... uh-huh... uh...uh oh."
"What?" The new boy asked, confused as how the colour could drain so fast from such a smiley boy. "What's wrong?"
"You have Akasuna after lunch..."
The table went silent with hands over their hearts as if they were mourning the poor new boy.
He went to say that Mr. Akasuna was apparently his neighbor, but stopped. He just met these kids and they were so kind to him. What if their opinions changed once they found out that if they come over they might run into the teacher that apparently scared them so terribly bad. That could ruin his social life!
"Is... he mean?" He asked, already knowing the answer.
"Frightfully so!"
"The worst!"
"He's downright heartless!"
"Do NOT get detention. For your sanity, do NOT do it."
The New Boy narrowed his eyes, processing the notion of detention, "Huh?"
A boy at the table leaned foreword, "Be on your best behavior. Detention is hell."
The new boy rolled his eyes. There was no way some old geezer could be that bad. He was tough! Where he used to live; you had to be! These kids we just weak, pampered little babies.
Oh boy was he wrong...
"Detention after school!"
The New Boy stared wide eyed. He only asked the girl beside him a little question! She already looked terrified, her head locked down as she drowned him out as if she had nothing to do with the boy who dare spoke out in class.
"But I didn't do anything!"
"Detention after school tomorrow, too! And you can kiss your lunch hour tomorrow goodbye too!"
"Wh-"
"Shh!"
The New Boy looked over at the girl whom he tried to talk to. Her head still down and body trembling, "Shhhh..."
The new boy gave up and sat in his seat with his arms crossed. So this crusty old man was his neighbor? Gross! He'd pay for putting him in detention. He'd pay big time.
"Uncross those arms, sit up and drop the attitude!"
"Oh my god." The New Boy gasped as he clung to his bed as if he were going to die. He just finished his two days of detention sessions with Mr. Akasuna and never wanted to go back. That place was hell! Those boys really weren't kidding.
Looking out the window and across the street he seethed at the old man's house. Weird clay trinkets littered the garden; maybe he could smash those. The plants were well maintained; maybe he could rip them up. Write with grass killer on his pretty little lawn. Maybe leave burning crap on his steps.
The New Boy narrowed his eyes as something caught his attention while eyeing up the front steps where he could place the burning feces,
"A package!"
Sneaking casually across the street, the boy swiped the box. However not before looking around for a hidden camera. Not seeing one he took the package and made his way back home and into his room, his blood pumped with adrenaline as he had just stolen from the meanest teacher in his new school's history! He was such a badass.
"Take that ya Jerk!"
Taking a couple proof selfies to flaunt to his new friends, his finger pointing to the neatly placed paper that labeled it was indeed for 'Mr. Akasuna', he felt as if he was on top of the world. Fingers wiggling with excitement, he could only wonder what was in the box. Old man ointments? Ugly sweater vests? Books on how to torture students? Something ritzy and expensive he could keep all to himself? Whatever it was, that old coot wouldn't have it and that was good enough for him!
Slicing it open, he peered inside, his grin growing wider and wider until something snapped. He closed the box and looked at the ceiling. Back down, he opened and looked into the box again; this time narrowing is eyes.
There in the box was sex toys. So many sex toys. Dildos, vibrators, anal plugs, beads. He swallowed as the list continued with nipple clamps, cuffs and even...
"Lingerie?" He spoke in a whisper as there was black silky material. He scoffed, "Maybe he has a wife and-" Picking up the lingerie, he saw the space made to accommodate male genitalia. He gagged as he thought of the old man with the cuffs and clamps, "Oh..." he gagged again this time louder, "I think I'm gonna be sick..."
The next day at school the boy couldn't even look his teacher. He was just a grouchy, crusty, and mean as ever; but there was something new. He felt as if he knew too much about the guy. Way too much. No amount of therapy could save him, nothing could wipe out the mental image. Why wasn't that bleach meme a real thing? Oh if only he could actually get bleach into his eyes and brain to clean it.
"Hmmm..."
Some kids looked up to see the old man glaring into his cellphone, adjusting the distance so he could see the text properly. Of course no one called out the man for using it, and to the new boy he just assumed the man was ready with a witty response to shut anyone down. Other kids however knew the real reason that the man would not only be willing take it out at this time, but also own one in the first place.
"Is everything okay, Mr. Akasuna?" One boy asked, hand raised politely.
"Hm... you see there was a package apparently delivered to my home yesterday... and it wasn't there."
Oh how the New Boy wanted to puke as he recalled that box.
"Oh you buy things online?" Smiled the boy genuinely, proud the old monster of a teacher was learning new things, "Good for you, Mr. Akasuna."
"Oh no it wasn't me. It was Deidara." Sasori waved off rather gruffly yet without malice, not caring since they met the younger blond already, "He says in his text he doesn't know what to do now. I certainly don't know either so I don't know why he's pestering me."
"May I help?"
"Go at it." Sasori groaned, handing the boy the phone. He really couldn't care less if the package came or not. Lately the blond had been buying useless or weird things online. Things they for sure could live without.
As the boy helped his teacher out, the New Boy leaned over to the girl beside him once more, "Who is Deidara?"
The girl's eyes lit up and he face broke into a smile. She looked positively smitten, "Oh that's Mr. Akasuna's incredibly handsome Husband! He's so cool and dreamy!" She gushed.
"...Husband?"
"Yeah, Deidara Akasuna. He's totally weird and totally fun. Not only that, he's drop dead gorgeous! Sometimes he drops in and gets Mr. Akasuna all angry but it's actually so cute how he just accepts it." Looking towards the teacher, now she asked, "What did Deidara order?"
Mr. Akasuna just shrugged, "who knows. He just started doing it so it's been a little of everything. Last thing that he got was a...Nerve gun of some sort? Apparently he had one as a child and decided it would be fun to shoot me... at any time."
While the class snickered quietly at the thought of their mean teacher being pummeled by foam bullets, the boy on the phone had eyes the size of saucers as he left a claim that the package was missing, probably stolen. On the website he could clearly see a list of what Deidara exactly bought.
"Ahem..." he pointed it out to his teacher who just narrowed his eyes and got a good look. What he saw wasn't another childish toy, that's for sure. Not childish at all.
"Children if you may, please pardon my language for just a moment."
"Yes sir!" They chimed, already having a good hunch what was to come next...
"Fu-" A slurry of swears as the old man took the palm of his hand and beat his forehead with it. "Deidara!"
The students just tuned him out, all but one that is. Of course he wasn't used to this display, but one thing was for sure was apparently what this Deidara guy did wasn't new. And secretly he knew what he did.
That evening he planned how to get the box back to his teacher. What else was he going to do with the items? What if his parents saw them? There was also the idea of just tossing the box... until was a knock on the new kids door, his mother was busy preparing dinner so he got it as she hollered. There as he opened it, he was instantly smitten. There was the most incredible, most handsome man he had ever see in his life. He looked so... so cool! Was this a new neighbor introducing himself or-
"Yo, where's my package, hm."
The New Boy's face dropped, "Whaaat..."
"My package of toys. Hand it over, Kid." The blond narrowed his eyes into slits, "Now."
It didn't take a genius to figure out who this 'handsome' and 'cool' man was. Especially looking one looking for his box of toys.
Rushing upstairs, skipping steps, he and back quick as possible and shoved the box into the blonds hands once he got back, "I'm so sorry, Mr. Akasuna!" He yelled as a cold sweat broke out on him. Not only had he done something illegal and that directly affected his school life with an evil teacher, it also resulted in one hell of a embarrassing package. He was sorry for so much.
Looking into the box, Deidara shook it to shuffle the objects around, checking to see if they were all there. Reaching in he grabbed a small vibrating toy and placed it into the poor kids hand,
"You should really try this home delivery stuff if you're curious." Deidara spoke cooly and calmly this time, "Then you won't need to steal mine."
"Uh..." The New Boy didn't quite register all that as one thing weighed heavy on his mind, "Your not gonna tell my teacher, right?" he asked, embarrassed to even say it. One would think to not tell their parents, but their teacher?
He knew who he feared.
"Ahh... wait. Wait, he's your teacher, hm? You thought you were stealing your teachers mail?"
"Yes."
Thrusting put his finger towards the teen boys chest, Deidara blew a fuse as he puffed out his cheeks, "Well back off skank; he's mine!" And stormed away. Down the path from the front of the house, Deidara hissed once more, "I don't know what you're up to, but one of the first things I bought was a secret camera for my house!" He yelled some more, "don't you try and steal my stuff! ANY of it! He's my handsome hubby! MINE!"
Once the shrieking Deidara was back in his house with his package, the New boy stared into a void, feeling not the shock that he was indeed found out by a camera, but by,
"Skank?" He muttered, "Does he think... I'm trying to steal his man?"
Looking down into his hand, he saw the little pink toy that he could only assume went up where the sun did not shine. Plus on top of being mistaken that he was interested in that gross old Akasuna?
"Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick..."
ooops i wrote another! and i may write another in the future mwahahaha! BYE LOSERS
