Deidara bit into a bittersweet chocolate as he stared at his husband; of whom was busy preparing for his classes this coming Monday. With his glasses perched at the end of his nose, Sasori chewed the end of his pen lightly, huffing angrily as he heavily criticized his students essays. Each criticism it's own miniature essay on how terrible the original essay was. With his sweater vest now tossed on the floor, leaving him in nothing but a wrinkled white dress shirt with the top four buttons were undone exposing the light hair on his chest...
Deidara bit into another chocolate and then quickly another as he watched Sasori's pink tongue cross over the pen he chewed. Oh how the hunger overcame him. Damn was his husband sexy.
Of course... his students would never get to see this side of him. No. That wouldn't be okay. Sure Sasori looked adorable all dolled up in his grandpa sweaters, however that started off as a joke. A joke on his age, a joke on how it was girl repellent. Once Sasori put it on? Oh hell was that cute. It drove Deidara into a fit of pure giddiness as he adored the old man. His husband was the most divine little turkey pants on the planet.
Sasori was a damn lucky man to have a husband who loved him as much as Deidara did.
Deidara ate another and another chocolate. He really wished his husband would just give all the essays their failing grades, not even bothering to read them. In his defense, he was going to fail them no matter what! Instead of focusing on those papers, he wanted Sasori to focus on him and only him. It was the weekend after all!
"Why not just fail them? Why bother reading them in the first place, hm?" Deidara asked, mouth full of his treats.
Sasori simply took a deep breath through his nose, "Deidara, I just can't do that. I'm a teacher."
"You're going to fail them anyway..."
"That's not how it works." Sasori scorned. "To repeat, I'm a teacher. I will read every student's work so I know what I need to criticize about them next. They need to face my wrath for being incompetent idiots."
"Tsk!"
In reality Deidara swooned a little as he this time was lectured by his Danna. It was so responsible, tough, and sexy of the man. Oh how it made him hunger for him.
"Should I get some dessert, hmm?"
Sasori looked up at his chocolate smeared husband and raised a silver brow, "don't you think you've had enough dessert?"
"No, not for me. You."
Oh heck yeah Deidara wanted to give his man some dessert. Have a nice piece of him!
Sighing, Sasori marked the paper he read with a big fat fail and went to the read the next, "You know the doctor said for me to cut back on the sweets if I want to live a long life together with you."
Live a long life with him? Immediately Deidara squirmed in his seat as he didn't have any more pieces of chocolate to soothe him to go along with his husband spouting romantic mush. How dare he be so sweet!
"I know, I know. I was thinking something healthy already. I was with you at that appointment."
Sasori seethed as he recalled that day where Deidara demanded the doctor check for everything. EVERYTHING as he then demanded him be bent over the bed with his pants dropped. The sound of that glove snapping still sent shivers down his spine.
"Don't remind me."
There was only one man who should ever be allowed to do that to him; and that man had special permission via a gold ring on his finger. Not a fancy piece of paper on the wall.
"Anyway! You need to take your medication with food, Danna."
Sasori looked at his wristwatch, a lovely twenty-five year anniversary gift from his husband. As his love had said though, it was indeed time for him to take his night time medicines. "Fine."
Getting up and walking to the kitchen, Deidara made a move for the fridge pulling out a jar of soft and sweet, but without added sugar and completely organic, applesauce. A perfect healthy treat for his darling that he knew the man loved. Now to get the topping! Into his spice rack he put the cinnamon to the side and into the cabinet he pulled out a few bottles of medicine.
Putting the pills into a little plastic cup, he put them onto a tray alongside a small glass of water. Before he sprinkled the cinnamon on the dessert, just the way his Danna liked it, Deidara froze. Looking back to the cupboard and then to the doorway, he could see the back of his beloved husband's gray head.
Deidara smirked as he reached into the cabinet, dumping out a single blue pill onto the counter. With the back of a spoon he crushed it into a fine powder. Sweeping it into the palm of his hand he dumped the drug into Sasori's applesauce and mixed it in until it fully dissolved. Finally he topped it off with the cinnamon and put it on the tray.
"Here you go, babe." Deidara hummed, pitting the tray on the side table. "Medication and a treat for my honey bunny!"
Sasori scowled at the name but of course said nothing of it. He could never say he hated it, just give the illusion he did. Why? Because he absolutely was Deidara's hunny bunny- no buts about it. Grabbing the plastic cup in one hand and water in the other, Sasori popped the pills and chugged the water...
"And now the applesauce, un..."
"Hm?"
"Enjoy!" Deidara chimed loudly, "I'm going to have a shower and then crawl into bed to get...comfy."
"Yeah yeah, I still have some grading to do."
"See you in a little bit~" Deidara sang and he trotted away.
"Hm?" Sasori grunted again until he noticed he was alone, "Tsk, brat." He finally mumbled as he reached for his applesauce. As always, Deidara made it just the way he liked; delicious. He knew him so well.
As Sasori read, criticized and graded the essays, he squirmed. He squirmed and squirmed, he crossed his legs, and he huffed away as he found himself irritated. Quite irritated. Shifting positions once more after finishing up yet another terrible essay he frowned deeply. Uncrossing his legs, he glared at what oddity was going on between his legs.
"What the hell is that." He groaned, more as a statement than a question. He knew exactly what it was, the question was why.
Blinking slowly he thought carefully. He knew for a fact it was impossible for him to get aroused from failing stupid children. It was also impossible to get aroused around such poor writing and unconvincing works.
The only thing that changed in the past twenty or so minutes was...
"Deidara." He seethed, knowing very well his husband had something to do with this. "But how? Did he slip a viagra into my mixture of medication?" He hummed in thought.
It wasn't time for sex anyway. There just wasn't time and he was too tired. Not that he was too old! He had just a few more papers to do, then he could go to bed and give his husband the cold shoulder for this... this thing! Like hell he would let that brat have the satisfaction of successfully drugging him!
Now at the point, Sasori was in pain. These papers were just torture! They were stupid, vapid works that made him feel like a failure as a teacher! Sure his coworkers may say they were excellent examples of essays, flawlessly written and something to be expected to be taught by the older man. However to Sasori they were pure drivel. Here he was stuck, chewing the hell out his red pen, doing this while he could be doing...that...with Deidara in their bedroom!
Oh yes, there was also the pain of that in between his legs. Not that he was going to give any of it to Deidara! He could do it! But he wouldn't!
Sasori hissed as he tugged at the roots of his hair. This wasn't fair! He wanted to be in bed with his husband!
He partially caved. With a few failing marks he threw the schoolwork to the side and in and instant was standing at his bedroom door glaring down at a freshly shaven and great smelling Deidara, who sat happily on the bed in nothing but a silky black robe while brushing his long blond hair.
"Sheesh..."
...Did he ever smell incredible.
"Why Danna, I do believe you still had work to do, hmmm?" Deidara sneered, eyeing up the problem in his husband's pants.
"Cut your bullshit Deidara. How dare you mix a viagra into my pills!" Sasori scowled, unbuttoning his pants.
Deidara stared at Sasori a moment with wide eyes, "Ohhh! That would have been so much easier!"
"What?" Sasori scowled, slowing down a little but not stopping.
"Yeah, I crushed it up and added it to your applesauce." Deidara sighed, crawling on the bed to put his brush down on his bedside table.
"You're the worst." Sasori spat with the most vile tone he could muster, while still undressing
Deidara stood up and with a smile dropped his black robe, "am I still the worst?"
Sasori glared at his attractive young husband who had aged so incredibly well. His adorable little boyfriend was now a walking sex bomb. Quite the dangerous weapon.
Slipping off his shirt, Sasori promptly hung it up to prevent further creasing. With one final glare at Deidara, he stormed into their master suite bathroom and locked the door behind him.
Unfortunately Deidara wouldn't see his husband or his object of desire for an hour and half. By then the object and the desire was gone.
"Fuck you, old man." Deidara growled from the bed, his arms crossed as Sasori emerged from the bathroom with an unbothered lower region.
"You wish, you little shit."
"..."
"..."
"Well you're not wrong!" Deidara spat out rather pathetically and he waved his arms in desperation.
Sasori didn't cave though, "Deidara don't you dare pull that on me again." he scorned, giving the blond a wagging finger of shame.
Deidara crawled on hands and knees on the bed as he pouted, "Well you're just so sexy! And I knew you wouldn't be in the mood so I decided I would... force you to."
"Well I don't like being forced."
Burying his face into his hands, Deidara groaned loudly before banging the bed with his fists, "I cant believe you wasted it! I would have helped! I would let you do-"
"Deidara..."
"And then I'd go down and-"
"Deidara."
"And then touch and su-"
"Deidara."
"Then I'd ride and fu-"
"Deidara!"
"You wasted my sexy times with my sexy husband..." Deidara wailed into his hands as he curled into a ball. Glaring from his huddled ball, he seethed, "I won't forget this, Sasori Akasuna!"
Sasori just crawled into his half of the bed and huffed, "I don't know why you're the one who's mad, I was the one drugged!"
"The result of the drug was sex! Sex with me! Me, hn!"
"I'm the boss..." Sasori pouted this time.
"You're such a baby, hmph!"
"May I remind you that you just curled into a ball and practically cried?"
"Babies don't cry for sex!" Deidara cried out, missing the irony
Switching off the light, Sasori sighed, "Goodnight Deidara."
"I'll get you old man... I'll get you good!"
part one of two. please dont look too deep into deidara slipping his husband a viagra. yes it wasnt kind. i am aware.
BYE LOSERS
