Day 4: In Which He Finds Out That She Is Actually A Crazy Mama Bear

Jack had just received an email from HR officially canceling his travels until further notice. Not that it surprised him, what with the pandemic's exponential growth and arising mass chaos. He was just glad he still had a job, and that part of his work could still be done from home.

He set up a comfy nest of blankets and pillows outside and sat there, armed with his laptop, a thermos of piping hot coffee, and a whole package of Double Stuf Oreos. The trifecta of caffeine, sugar, and cold-ass wind hitting him in the face kept him awake as he worked. He had practically a terabyte of photos to edit, and since he wasn't going anywhere for only God knows how long, he had no excuse not to get to them. Still, cleaning up studio photos was a pain, and he got bored pretty fast.

He dozed off somewhere between Flynn in a speedo and Wilbur looking constipated just to be woken up by the neighbor's doors sliding open. Jack grunted as he rubbed the sleep off his eyes.

"Oh, hey, Jack," Elsas greeted him as she went to tend to her plants.

"Morning," he grumbled, sitting up.

She looked at him with an arched eyebrow. "It's seven p.m.."

Damn. That had been one hell of a nap. No wonder it was so chilly outside. And the darkening sky suddenly made so much more sense.

Jack clicked his tongue. "I knew that..."

Elsa watched him carefully. Her eyes were so hard on him that he was pretty sure she could read his soul. "Tell me you weren't sleeping outside."

"I wasn't. I only closed my eyes for, like, a second."

"Jack!" she shouted, hitting the railing with the watering can.

"Elsa!" he mimicked her, punctuating her name with a slap on his thigh.

Elsa crossed her arms. "Now's not the time for you to get sick because you were being an idiot!"

He snorted. "It was just a nap—wait, did you just call me an idiot?"

"You need to be careful."

Jack pouted like a small child chastised for touching the cool blue flame on the stove. "But I am being careful."

Elsa had none of his bullshit. She snapped her fingers, then pointed at his door. "Go inside, crank up the heat, and eat something nice and warm to up your antibodies count."

"What are you, my mom?" He tried to laugh, but that damn girl had her reprimanding glare perfected to a T. Jack threw his hands in the air before getting up. "Alright, I'm going. Happy?"

"Sleep well, Jack!" she sang, and her voice tone was so patronizing he felt like throwing a pillow at her. If they weren't avoiding contamination, he probably would have done just that.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled instead. "See you tomorrow, Elsa."

Despite all grief he gave her, Jack ended up doing exactly as she had ordered. By the time he hopped off the shower, his intercom was ringing, and he rushed to get it.

"Food delivery for Jack," a guy said from the other side of the line.

He frowned. "I didn't order anything."

"You sure? It's already paid for."

Still skeptical, he wondered if Hiccup had sent him something. That wouldn't be the first time they had stuff delivered to each other's place anyway. "What's the delivery?"

"Uh… Super Immunity Boost Soup, large size, extra garlic… And a bottle of ginger tea."

Nope. Definitely not Hiccup.

Jack groaned, running a hand down his face with disgruntlement. Jesus Fucking Christ, that girl was a psycho!

"... Sir?"

He sighed the heaviest sigh he could muster. "Yeah… I'll be down in a second."