Sasori glared at his students written work, the paper blurring as the words danced. Damn his ever failing eyesight! He could scowl all he wanted to, yet he couldn't help but bite his bottom lip as he knew that once he got home and complained, his darling husband would kiss his forehead and tell him how beautiful his eyes were no matter how much vision he lost. Perhaps it was time for a new eye exam like Deidara had said a few weeks prior. He didn't take that all to heart because it wasn't his fault that Deidara would yell "heads up!" after throwing the object.

Still, his eyes burned a bit.

"Having trouble there, Mr. Akasuna?"

Glaring up and at the young teacher, "Shut up, Hatake." He hissed.

Of course Mr. Kakashi Hatake wasn't bothered by the grump as he knew the older man while growing up himself. In fact, his father went to school with Sasori for awhile, his father being a few years older than the man. Unfortunately for Kakashi, there was a bit of a grudge to be held though that extended his father and had passed on to him... Apparently with the 'Big Buddy Program' at their school, let's just say Sasori didn't like his 'Big Buddy Hatake' very much.

What a jerk!

Driving home was a handful as he struggled to see properly. Man was he ever tired, the days were shorter, drier and cold. He was tired and his eyes burned. As he walked up to his front door he had it all planned out, lie on the couch and have Deidara put some eyedrops in, then have some dinner and quickly go to bed. He was exhausted! Taking off his glasses as soon as he finished driving felt a lot better, but that meant he could see even less. It still felt good to give them a good rub though.

Hopping up off the ground from his work he had brought home and laid out, Deidara rushed happily to greet his husband of many blissful years; ready to coat his darling in a mass of sugary love. To be honest, he had something silly he wanted to share with Sasori...

Sasori narrowed his weary eyes as he looked at Deidara's face carefully. He didn't say anything though all evening; after the drops, or after dinner. Unable to see very well, he didn't want to pass judgement on what was probably some sort of new makeup and end up insulting Deidara unnecessarily. For all he knew, under that massive blur was something very lovely.

After a taking his meds early, he dropped everything just to turn into bed to rest his weary eyes... he was dead as they burned even while closed, "You don't need to pat my butt like a baby. I can fall asleep on my own." Sasori hissed as Deidara cuddled with him since he was turning in so early.

"But you are my baby..." Deidara sighed, still patting his butt as he spooned Sasori. "And it's such a nice baby bum."

As usual, Sasori couldn't refute it- but this time without a silly excuse as he had already fallen asleep. Deidara kissed his head, "I love you so much Danna, I'm blinded with love. But seriously are you blind too?" He snickered.

-x-

The following day, two senior girls cut their class before lunch, just to walk about and eat somewhere else. Of course they would return afterwards as they had the dreaded Heartless Akasuna at the end of the day. If they had skipped his class- no, if they even had the thought, Mr. Akasuna would rotate his head 360 degrees and spit fire at them. They were already pushing their luck skipping ANY teachers class as they would send the ditchers to Mr. Akasuna's Detention Club.

"Ugh." groaned one of the girls as they walked into a convenience store for a slush. Cold weather didn't mean a thing when you needed you sugar rush to put up with an afternoon with...

"What's wrong? What's with the shuddering?"

"Just thinking about a horrible monster I know."

"Oh my god, I think I know what you mean!" The other girl cackled as she on multiple occasions felt the fear crawl like a spider up her spine. "Wait- speaking of monster... isn't that the monster's beautiful bride?" She then joked as she nudged her friend in the right direction.

With a little flinch, she stood on her tiptoes to get a better look, "I think it is!" she watched on as he tussled around his long blond locks and fiddled with his red scarf, "Gawd he is so-o dreamy!"

"What a hunk!"

"Uh...huh." Muttered the girl as she narrowed her eyes and tilted her head.

"What's wrong?"

"Does... no way..." she looked even harder, making sure she was seeing things from a distance correctly, "does he have a face tattoo!?"

Deidara looked around at the shrill voice in confusion but saw no one as the girls ducked back into hiding, "Bwuh?"

-x-

"How could you! You let him ruin his gorgeous face like that!" Wailed one of the girls to her teacher, the other with clenched fists.

Sasori glared at the whiny girls who had just stormed into his room, the rest of the kids moving like perfect puppets on strings as to not anger their teacher. It was the last class for them today, they come bursting in and start squealing like pigs at him! Kids these days! Did they want to join him for detention?
"What thing?"

"A face tattoo!"

Sasori tilted his chin down, "A what now?"

"He had a black design...or was it writing... fancy writing... on his face! Wahhh! How could you let him do that to his beautiful face!"

Other students heard and gasped quietly at the news while others didn't know who Deidara really was. This class was mixed with some older teens whom had had the delight of meeting the blond, plus others who had only hear vague stories like they were legends. Myths even because who would love a man like that.

These girls were of course a couple of the older ones.

Sasori was in shock while they continued to whine as he recalled the night prior when his eyes were bothering him. He wasn't seeing things properly yesterday, but he could recall seeing a black blur when Deidara got close to him. Yes! There really was something strange on Deidara's face! And if it was there today, the writing was the thing he saw from yesterday.

With this big news, Sasori couldn't focus all class, struggling to x,y, and z. Sure, Deidara had gone off and gotten a tattoo before without his permission. He didn't need permission! Most of the time he asked for feedback though, gave some sort of warning- and did not put anything near his beautifully sculpted face. Being unable to even form proper sentences before getting lost in a fog of panic, he rushed his class without handing back essays, checking yesterday's homework, or even assigning tonight's homework. His main goal was to go home. In fact, the biggest shock of all... end of the day detention was put on hiatus!

Into the house, Deidara happily greeted his husband with a big smile while he watched television and folded clean laundry on the floor.

Sasori sat on the floor and stared at Deidara, moving close and further, glasses and no glasses to see the tattoo.

Deidara stared back just as obnoxiously- just to rile him up. What was Sasori's problem? Storming in so early, plopping himself down and glaring at him with his head bopping around like a chicken. He looked ridiculous! Holding up a pair of his husband's underwear to hide behind, he laughed, "What's your deal, hm?"

"Where... where's the tattoo?" Sasori asked, moving the hands holding the underpants to the side so he could rub harshly at Deidara's skin.

"Ack!" Deidara yelped as was scrubbed, Sasori licking his thumb to rub some more, "My makeup-"

"Exactly! Makeup! See?" Sasori held up a black thumb, "Black- wait that's just eyeliner..."

Deidara touched his face where Sasori has callously smeared the makeup down his face, "My eyeliner... jeeze... wait, what tattoo?"

"My student said you had a tattoo. Deidara? Where is it?"

"Oh!" Grabbing at his waist band, "you mean-"

"Not that one!"

"Hmm you're right... I don't know how they would have seen that one anyway...un."

"Deidara!"

"This one, hm?" He rolled up his sleeve.

"Not that one either."

"This one?" He held out his hand, pointed to his palm and two fingers. "Or these?"

"Not those..."

"What about this one?" He said pointing to his ring finger to where it said Sasori's name.

Sasori smiled at that one, "No not that one, but I do like that one."

Tugging again at his waistline, Deidara gasped, "More than-"

"Well that one is good too!"

"So the tattoo on my chest is what's left..."

"What about the new one on your face!? A student caused an uproar because she said she saw you with a face tattoo!"

Deidara blinked, "I fell asleep at work yesterday and Konan drew on my face. She said I couldn't wash it off until the end of my shift today. I guess your student might have seen me at work... Oh! Or while I stopped at the the corner store quickly at lunch on my way home..."

"That's it!"

"But yo...man.. you mean you really didn't see it last night, hm? It was there last night and you didn't say anything."

"My eyes were too dry and my reading glasses weren't on to see your face..."

Deidara grabbed his husband by the collar of his dress shirt that poked out from his sweater, "You! You shouldn't have been driving then if your vision was that bad!" he then reached around and spanked his husband. "Idiot!"

"Idiot?"

"Although...I should I have figured something was up when you didn't say anything about what was on my face..." Deidara hummed "I mean, even now your not accusing me that your students saw what it was, just that something was there."

"What was it? Did it say anything bad?"

"Sasori Sucker."

Sasori's eyes went wide, "You... you mean you walked around for a day and a half... with 'Sasori Sucker' on your face?" his hands shaking in horror.

Deidara wiped under his eye where Sasori had gone searching for the tattoo and attempted to clean up any stray liner, "Well it's not like I had of choice of what was written, but yeah, hm."

"I...I'm going to kill that girl." Sasori spoke as if he was in a demonic trance, getting up to phone her and cuss her out.

Deidara sat there a moment before going back to folding his husbands undies, "Damn that's hot... but it's not like she wrote anything wrong. She could have changed one letter and written something much worse." He rationalized. Then with a sighed his arms drooped and he looked up, "Sasori Sucker, huh?" He mused as he reached into his back pocket and got out his cellphone, "I kinda like that."

-x-

"I think it said something like a scorpion...?" The girl mumbled in thought as her teacher held her back after class before lunch, steam coming from his ears. "Like the scorpion thing? Yeah, I don't know what that means? Why?"

Sasori sighed in relief and informed the girl it wasn't a tattoo, just a penalty from Deidara's boss for being a poor worker on the job. Thank goodness she caught half of what was written and didn't even know his full name.
Mr. Akasuna was plenty good enough, thank you very much.

"Don't go gossiping about things when you don't know the whole story. Especially about teachers and their home life."

"Yes sir."

"But Deidara does have tattoos, right?" Asked a friend of the girl who stayed behind, "I've seen the ones on his arms."

The other girl coo'd "Oh I've seen them too! Super cool."

"Yes he has a..." Sasori got a little more quiet, "few.
Quite a few actually.

"You like them?" The girls asked, feeling rather daring today. If anything, knowing that Sasori's husband was handsome, cool, young and had tattoos was kinda strange to them. How could such a dreadful old man have such an amazing taste in men?

Sasori growled at the kids, "What did I just tell you? This isn't gossip time where we talk about boys, it's learning time so you all need to learn to shut your mouths! Detention after school!"

"Aw man!"

"It's not even learning time, it's lunch!"

-x-

Coming home to Deidara resting on the couch, Sasori sighed as he was told dinner was just pizza. Delivery was on its way so he had to get ready to pay for it.

"What are you doing just sitting at home in your boxers?" Sasori groaned as sat down beside Deidara. Just his boxers in a nest of a mess. Did Deidara take the day off of work?

"Well..." Deidara hummed, coming clean and lifting the hem of his boxers rather high, there on his lower hip was a bandage over his old tattoo.

"What- What did you do!?"

Sasori loved that tattoo!

"Just a modification..."

"Why-"

Lifting the bandage carefully, Deidara showed the change with a wicked smile. The once simple tattoo of a scorpion was now one of those lollipops with the scorpion inside.
"Now I'm a real Sasori sucker, hm!"

Quiet a moment, Sasori pressed his fingertips to his lips. It was kinda hot. The girls had asked earlier if he had liked tattoos. Not all of the things Deidara had put on his body did he love, but yeah, most of them were damn hot. Especially the ones pertaining to him.

"It's still sore," Deidara sighed as he had come to know the pain all too well, and recover it, "but why don't you give it a gentle press, like a button~"

With a feather like touch, Sasori quietly leaned over the lounging blond to touch the bandage, ready to see what that sexy 'button' did. While he was in close proximity to the blond, he got a big kiss to the forehead as Deidara grabbed handfuls of hair, sucking that smooch good and hard as if he was like a zombie out for brains.

"You..."

"Mm! Tasty!"

"Brat..."

"Nuh-huh! I'm a Sasori Sucker."


heads up, unless stated, chapters are in no particular order. dates and seasons may jump around.
just to make it easier and more fun also im boss fight me

bye,losers!