SOAPBOX: Hi. I had a really good day today. Went to see Pirates 2 with a friend and a "special friend" at the midnight showing for my birthday. :D ((its my b-day)) We dressed up as pirates and raided, pillaged and kicked the mall's butt for about five hours starting at 5PM and ending at 3AM. It kicked general ass. Didn't sleep until 6AM, which doesn't matter.

AUGH! I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK! STUPID FUCKING SQUARE OF IDIOCY!

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SASUKE-CHAN!

I scrubbed the tub/shower with bleeding, sore fingers after work today. All day after I got some advice from Haku. Why Haku? One word. Zabusa. Nothing can turn off a boy in the shower faster than mildew and if there's gonna be foreplay in the shower...that isn't gonna fly, I thought grumpily.

I sighed and set the rag down with a huff on the counter and reached for the cabnets behind the mirrors. There...taking about three shelves was the lube. Thank god its all here. I stood up, grabbing my BAM shower cleaner, two rags, and took a nice stare at my work.

The tub was spotless. I smirked, next up...the internet. Why the internet? Well, I've had a plan for about two weeks that's been taking affect for about two days now. It was an idea I had at the office. My knees were brought against the cloth of my 22,813 yen suit and 7,984 yen tie ((which is 2,000 dollars in America and two hundred dollars in America)). You get really bored sometimes. So Haku came in and said, "Wow, how long have you been dating Naruto?" I, of course, answer polietly,

"Two years."

He smiles and suddenly I realize, even though we've been dating for two whole years which is about...630 days, we, being both members of ANBU and working for the same company, made absolutly no time for sex.

Sure, we've had our on "kind of, but not really" stuff, but never ACTUAL intercourse. If you include the fact that Naruto was a recently retired prostitute and I was a whoring around it's no wonder he never wanted to do it with me. I can't blame him, personally. With a defeated sigh, I wondered how many times we could have but didn't. A pale hand was brought to sheild my forhead.

So here I am, searching the web, futilelessly for some sort of interent web browser on how to find the most romantic honeymoon suites or a Ryokan. Of course, the dobe, had no way of knowing what fate awaited him in two weeks time. A smirk was brought to my lips and a shake of excitment was sent to my groin.

Unfortunatly, luck was not with me today. I was near tears as my obsidian eyes bore into he computer screen, nyon lights and electronic whizzing about me. Nothing was coming up! I didn't even hear my koi's silent footsteps as he walked behind me and leaned over me, behind the chair at the desk.

"Gee, bastard, you've been here for an awfully long time. What's up?" He asked, quizically. Like hell I'm gonna tell you, I mentally cursed. He frowned and grabbed the mouse, setting his hand ontop of mine. I shivered as he wrapt his arms around the recliner and rested his small head ontop of mine. His hands are always so warm.

"Your hands are cold." He complained, whistfully in my ear, it was almost a whisper. I attempted to compose myself.

"Yours are warm."

"Then why is it that I'm always shivering? It's freezing." Fighting the urge to run up to him and straddle his ass, I told him to put on a sweater. He declined and said, "If your looking for something you should use a search engine." Naruto, said this with his trademark Uzamaki grin, showing off his nice incisors and canines.

I smiled and shooed him away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakura and her mother, who was a plump, friendly lady, helped me to a selection of Traditional Japanese Marriage kimono's. Her shop was called Tengoku Kekkon and I figured I would get some type of discount as a former flame or something.

She smiled and welcomed me with open arms, dressed in an informal pink, Sakura kimono. "Haruno-san," I mumbled as I wrapped my arms about her grudgingly. Her kimono was soft, but not silk. "Sasuke-chan! So nice to see you again." I felt her long hands lingered then let me go and dragged me inside her tiny shop filled with god knows what.

She pulled me in, gripping my fingers, past the soft red curtains, and I got full blast what every guy fears that's in excess, purfume. God, must be strong jasmine, I practically wept.Chokingit down, she sat me in a white, satin seat, her across from me. "So!" She piped, "Who's the lucky lady-er, I'm mean," The kunoichi grimaced, "boy? Who's the lucky boy?" God she can be dense, I thought swallowing air.

"Naruto. You knew that." My voice could barely go above a whisper.

"Ah."

"I'm looking for uchikake and haoiri-hakama attire."

"Oh, traditional way, eh?" Sakura nudged, "Well, lets get you started on our selection."

"I haven't asked him yet."

"...Sumimasen?"

"I have not asked him to marry me yet. I just need an idea."

"Don't you need a ring, too? Y'know...some people now adays DO do the US Western rings. In America it's very pop-"

"That'll be taken care of momentarily...in the next few hours...depending on how this goes."

She smiled and stupidly said that they carried no rings in stock. That was hard to figure out, really? I mean I had absolutly no clue you didn't carry-C'mon, Uchiha, remain calm. Air entered and refreshed my lungs as I inhaled and exhaled. If I tried to smoke, I would go into convulsions for so many bad fumes.

"Well," Sakura said, smiling, "Go look at our selection towards the back. Tell me if you need help."

I gave her a half smile, and pushed myself off the soft chair.

Jeeze, what a pain. Still need to call caterers, make a list of people attending, music and ambiance, location, time and maybe a Western style wedding rings, too...Ino will take care of the flowers, most likely. God, who knew that marriage would be such a problem? I thought as my sore feet thuded against the floor, heading towards the white and orange Uchikake for my future Uchiha Naruto-chan.

SASUKE'S NARUTO-CHAN?

Uzamaki Naruto climbed grabbed the faucet from the bathtub and turned it on heat hot, applying Mr. Bubbles bubble gum bath bubbles to the rising sea of growing pink incandescence.

I really wanted to take a break. My new boss wouldn't let me rest much anymore, what with interviews and judging and phone calls and whatnot. I sighed. Truly I was tired, but it had many perks and I got paid a nice sum from a few sources who don't let me sleep until I get the job done.

Slipping off my froggie boxers and tossing them to the floor, I noticed the steamy water was beckoning me. It's heat rose up and fogged the mirror. I sighed. The job DID have a few perks, though, I thought cheerfully dipping a tanned toe into the water cautiously. It singed and I stepped in, submerging myself in the soothing aquatics. What a wonderful way to spend an afternoon off.

My hair tickled my neck as I leaned my head against the wall. It was lovely, simply lovely. Nothing could spoil this moment.

Oh, that reminds me. Lee and Gaara got married...I thought, recelecting two weeks ago. It was nice...I mean..it wasn't that early was it? They had been dating for about three years now...or was it two?

My thoughts traveled to a not so simple sixteen years of age, when Lee and Gaara first started their rocky realationship. Life had crashed on me before I was ready to take it all in at a tender teenage year. Smiling aided me in no way as I struggled to bring back all the memories. They were fragile and momentous. I could never forget the all of my sixteenth yearif I tried to.It was wonderful and horrendous in the same sense, I thought raising my arm out of the water and examining it.

"Ah...this is perfect." I sighed.

"I agree."

My heart stops in my chest for a fraction of a second and starts up again. I grab a shaver I always leave in my shower...for...well, you know. Anyway, I gripped it's cool surfaceand thrust it behind my backuntil I feel a strong hand stop it from penetrating the perpatrator. Male. Taller than me, judging how the voice came from above. I look behind me and see Sasuke, standing above my gentle figure, stark naked.

"Oh, jeeze, hey bastard." I let the knife drop into the water and leaned against the wall.

"Why scare me like that, teme?" I asked him, rubbing my eyes. He shrugged and told me to make room. I took one more glance at him before I would follow that command. Thepeeved lookingUchiha had his arms crossed, in a miffed type of manner, weight shifted and squinted eyes stared at me with intense irritablity.

God...he was so gorgeous. Casually, he KNEW he was drop dead sexy but did nothing to enhance nor prevent that. My greedy eyes scanned his body. Pale skin that was sculpted into a tight, chizzled sixpack and muscled forearms.

Not grossly, body builder muscled though, thank Jesus. What with broad shoulders and showy hipbones...masculine, yet cute adam's apple. Fuck, the Uchiha's body was inviting. I swallowed, attempting to prevent any manly urges. He didn't even notice that his being naked was just so hot. I mean, right now, Sasuke seems totally innocent.

Previous experiences told me otherwise. Unfortunatly, my ultra-marine eyes lingered on his always huge. He had never guessed my size correctly.

I stared at his eyes and his hair too, oh his eyes. They were love colored too. Black, true but nonetheless. They were peircing.

"Well? Let me in."

"Right away, sire." I grumbled. Why was he looking so disgruntled? Usually he seems sulky, which is one of the reasons he's such a turn on or a total pain, but now he looks more surly.

I scooched forward and he reclined against the tub wall. "Ah...this is great, dobe." I nodded, figitivly. Sasuke put a hand on my shoulder and tilted me backward, so I leaned on his chest. My heart vibrated as goosebumps scaled my arms like Canadian mounties. "This is perfect, your perfect." Better than today, Sas thought.

"How did you get in?"

"The lock? Ha, that was nothing compared to the trials and tribulations of sophmore year."

I nodded, feeling stupid. He's right. I felt his penis touch my ass. "Eep." and I gigerly moved my groin forward, attempting to make no contact like that. The brunette chuckled, dryly.

"C'mon dobe, just rest on my shoulder." It SEEMS like a romantic gesture, but will it last? Deciding to trust him, I gave in andlounged against his torso, the broadness supporting me. This was great...it felt so perfect. I was kind of embaressed, despite all else.

"Thanks, Sas! It's great..to have you inside the tub with me." Sasuke looked slightly puzzled, but smirked and decided to play a part, casually throwing an arm over Naruto's own shoulder. "Of course...I'd love to be inside you...oh...I mean I'd love to be inside the tub with you..again."

I sighed against, Sas, deciding to ignore what ever it was that I heard. I almost fell asleep against him, like that until I felt something cold crawl up my theigh. GEH! It-Its Sasuke's hand! It's his hand! His touch was cold against my tight thighs.

He cocked his head, "What's got you so figity, Naruto? Knowing that if you left me in the bed alone...I'd be more than pissed, but do it anyway? Consequences got you.." The boy's hands dove to my straight to my penis.

"...a bit touchy?"

I squeaked in terror. "No, Sas, no. W-we don't have time for...th-this!" I attempted to have him release me, but had no such luck. Sasuke proceded to rub my member up and down. "Oh, but as your boss, I say you have all the time in the world. Wouldn't you...say that, too?" He asked, tartly, grabbing me harder. I snatched his hand, and tried to pry him off.

Sasuke only leaned froward and began leaving a wet trail of saliva up my neck. I can't...believe...it...I struggled to think, he's multitasking. His white hands went to work on my groin while his pink lips went to work on a hickie.

"Ngh." I felt him smirk in my neck as he caressed the underside of my member and I became harder and harder.

"Haha, what's the matter, koi? You're flushed." I felt like punching him. My eyes were half closed. I could barely see the turning valve infront of me. My face became a bright shade of red, despite there being only four eyes in this room, I really was embaressed. I stifled a moan, and bit my lips as his thumbs massaged the tip.

"Oh...s-stop...ahh..." I gushed,

The second sensation was just as bad. The Uchiha's mouth sucked on my skin as his tounge traveled the spot, softly. It tickled almost, but I was into much physical agony to even attempt the slightest chuckle.

"Mmm...you taste so good." I felt my groin get really hard. It actually hurt and throbbed in the water. "Agh...oh god..I gotta..." After it sits for a while, it can really hurt like a...

I felt myself precum and Sas began to get impatient, his hands told the story. I moaned softly and then as he gave another squeeze, I could take no more. Even though it was extremely embaressing to release myself in the santuary of Mr. Bubble's, I tossed my head on his strong shoulders and came in the water.

"AHH...UHHHAHH..." It rang through the Uchiha estate bathroom, echoing off the walls.

"Hu, hu...hu..."this was slightly comforting to just be resting on his shoulder again, but, I was sexually exausted. I huffed and puffed against Sasuke's torso as he again tossed an arm around me and brought me closer to him.

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Me/Elliot: ((yawn)) g'morning...((scratches toe)) Guess who I sat next to at the movies?

Sasuke: Put some socks on, it's freezing.

Me/Elliot: Glad you asked, Sas...I sat next to my one of my bestfriends who is also a taken beautiful mexican. The other one sat on my right. ((Mexican boy IS taken, but not by choice, long story no one needs to know))

Momo((the other one XD...)): What about me, faggot?

Me/Elliot: Oh...its you. Hey.

Momo: Yah, its me! I was the one you raided the mall with! ((grumbles about ellie being a butt muncher))

Me/Elliot: Seriously.

Sasuke:...So...you were enchanted?...

Me/Elliot:3 yup.

Sasuke: If you sat next to that boy...you certainly weren't thinking about the movie...were you? You should have no problem writing my special scene with the dobe, then...in that case, WRITE MY HOT SE-

Momo: ((Slaps teme's hand)) Sheesh...so horny, Sas. I'm mean...we're almost done! Just wait a one chappie more!

Me/Elliot: ((figets)) I really was watching my husband's movie! Stupid Sasuke! My heart belongs to Johnny! It really does! Really, dammit! ((how do YOU know, Momo?))