"You don't have anything pressing? Then why exactly did you come back from the future in the first place?"
Neurotic
Disclaimer: Charmed does not belong to me.
Summary: His name is not Chris Perry. It's Christopher. Christopher Halliwell.
Chapter the Thirty-ninth
"Slowly, Slowly"
"I see. I'll pass the word on to Paul. Uh-huh. You take care."
Chris placed the handset back on the cradle, his fingertips pressed heavily against the bench where he rested. The skin turned white where he was pressing, and flushed red when he pulled them away.
Picking up the cloth he'd been cleaning with before the phone had gone off, Chris sauntered easily back into the main section of the bar, where Paul was stacking bottles and glasses behind the counter.
"Hey, Paula." Chris' voice was light and teasing.
A dark mop of black hair surfaced from behind the counter, and two dark eyes like holes narrowed in warning. "Christina," Paul batted back easily.
"Touché," Chris admitted, moving with a feline grace to lean on the counter. "That was Piper. Apparently Paige turned up."
"She did?" Paul grinned. "That's fantastic. Wh-"
"Not so fast, kiddo." Chris fixed Paul with a dark look. "Apparently she was sprouting some weird stuff about being trapped in a book with some guy called Dan Gordon, and then went on about how Piper's first child is missing."
Paul leant back in amusement, tis fingers tracing the bottle he was holding. "Dan Gordon, isn't he the guy mom used to date before she married dad?"
"Paul. Not so loud!" Chris lowered his voice to a conspiritorial whisper. "Just 'cause Grandpa knows doesn't mean anyone else should. You know Leo still doesn't trust us yet."
"Aye, he is a proper git bag," Paul said knowingly, nodding his head.
"Git bag?" Chris looked puzzled.
Paul shook his head. "You're totally behind on what's cool, aren't you?"
"Am not," Chris retorted, but a puzzled look swept across his face. "Was that cool when we left the future?"
"Duh, yes," Paul said, looking entirely more amused than he probably should be. "Why? Feeling your age?"
"Ha, ha," Chris muttered. "'m only nine months older than you and you know it."
"Nine months can make a huge difference. You can get a girl pregnant and she can have a baby in nine months."
"You checked the stores yet?"
"Chr-iiiissss!"
Chris raised a single eyebrow. Paul sighed, and yanked a clipboard from the countertop before swanning off to the back store rooms in a sulk. Chris coolly watched him go before turning to the shadows.
He shook his head. "How long have you been there?"
The shadows rustled, and Paige walked out from them, dirt streaked down her pretty white dress, Dan standing guardedly behind her.
"Piper warned you I would be coming," Paige said, her voice soft, her hands extended and palms open to show she wouldn't harm him.
"She suspected you might try me next," Chris said evenly. His right hand twitched as if he was restraining himself from using his power. "Who are you?"
"I am Paige," Paige said quickly, her voice low. "Three weeks ago, a book was delivered to the mansion. I opened it and got sucked into the book."
Chris glanced at her appraisingly. "But you have no proof."
Getting frustrated, Paige tried not to show her annoyance. "No, I don't. And Piper says she knows nothing about Wyatt!"
"Leo Wyatt?" Chris questioned.
"No, Wyatt as in Piper Halliwell's first son! The reason you came back to the past!"
"Uh, I came back because the Titans destroyed my future-" Chris started.
"Save it," Paige said, sounding disgruntled. "Look, maybe I'm in some sort of alternate reality, okay? What happened to your Paige if that's the case?"
"She justdisappeared," Chris said, gesturing slightly. A blank look fell on his face.
"What, disappeared as in woke up one morning, walked out of the door, never came back? Disappeared as in demons took me? Disappeared as in-"
"I- I don't" Chris squinted, suddenly unsure, and he looked at her softly. "Wyatt"
Struck by the uncertainty on Chris' face, Paige realised another possibility, far more possible than the alternate reality one. "Or is it likely your memory was wiped? You mentioned to me that whatever turns Wyatt – and destroys the future – happens before Piper's second child is born. Wouldn't it be possible that Wyatt from the future wiped all your memories?"
"Wyatt from the future? And whatever turns Wyatt?" Chris was looking absolutely bewildered, but also slightly stunned. Paige knew that if Chris was one hundred per cent sure that she wasn't talking absolute rubbish then she'd have been out of there on her ass before a minute had passed. Some part of Chris, at least, believed her.
"Well, think about it. Wyatt wouldn't – even if you only believe this situation hypothetically – be the first of Piper and Leo's children to come back to the past," Paige said reasonably.
Chris' jaw dropped. "How the hell did you-" He looked completely flustered, and his cheeks flushed a little. "How did you know?"
Paige sighed impatiently. "P-"
"You told us," Dan broke in quickly. Paige looked at him quizzically, wondering about the reaction. She opened her mouth to speak, but he squeezed her hand tightly. The meaning was clear, the words plain by his expression even though he didn't speak outloud: no, let me talk. "You told us that you were Piper and Leo's second son."
Chris' eyebrows knotted together, and Paige suppressed the small hiss that wanted to come out. She looked up angrily at Dan that he didn't tell her, flashed a shocked look at Chris and forced herself to look calm even as her insides rolled in confusion. "I- I did? I don't-" He looked horribly lost. He looked at them. "Does Piper know?"
Dan shook his head. "Not that I know of. But we've been gone three weeks. You may have told her yourself."
Chris looked a little winded, and he obviously didn't know what to do with himself. His eyes flittered over the floor, then between Paige and Dan nervously. "And you say we... don't have much time?"
Paige let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Chris had obviously felt enough confusion and bafflement to at least start to believe them. Or, at least, believe it was possible.
"I suppose we only have a week now," Paige said, trying to figure out the math in her head.
"Chris, is everything all right?"
Paul's voice floating through from the store room made Chris turn like a startled faun. Blinking rapidly, as if trying to do long division in his head, Chris managed to stutter, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just gonna go out- I've got a meeting with the band manager we booked for next month."
The sound of footsteps coming closer filled the small club, and Chris quickly gestured at Dan and Paige. Understanding, Dan pulled Paige back into one of the small alcoves, yanking the curtain closed and putting his hand over Paige's mouth.
Paige lightly smacked him away and leaned in closer to listen. Half-hidden, she could barely make out Paul's face, creased in worry and annoyance.
"All right," Paul was saying. "You wanna pick me up some fried chicken while you're out?"
"I thought Whitelighters couldn't eat," Chris replied, almost absent-mindedly.
"Uh, Chris, did you get hit on the head or something? Or are you just regressing to insanity?"
"Hey!" Chris automatically replied. "Low blow. At least I'm not the one who kissed my own cousin."
"That was bloody once and you know it," Paul snapped back, "and that was even a lower blow, and you fucking well know it too." He paused. "Okay, twice. Damn you."
"Whatever." Chris paused. It was quite an awkward silence. "So, chicken?"
"Yep."
"You finished in the store cupboard?"
Paul rolled his eyes. "No. At least lock the door when you leave."
"Lock you in?"
"Hello, I can orb."
"Oh, yeah."
With a lookof fatigue crossing his face, Paul turned and stalked back to the store cupboard. As soon as the door clicked shut, Paige and Dan hurried out of their hiding places.
"Kissed his cousin?" Paige looked faintly confused.
"You really don't want to know," Chris said absently. "Wyatt killed her before it could go anywhere."
"Wyatt killed her before it could go anywhere?" Paige repeated in dull amazement.
"Yeah," Chris said confusedly. Then he stopped. Squinting, he pulled a face at her. "Did I just" He looked dazed. "I need to sit down," he said plaintively.
Dan thoughtfully pulled one of the stools out for him, and Chris collapsed onto it, sinking his head into his hands. He made a gurgling sound into his hands, and then raised his head.
He inhaled slowly, as if he was about to say something profound. "Fuck," he managed instead, sounding plaintive and lost.
"Exactly," Paige agreed. "Hang on... The spell didn't quite work the way we expected it to last time, but" She frowned. "It might work."
"What are you going on about?" Dan looked between Paige and Chris. Chris looked almost as if he knew what she was going on about, but as if the memory was hazy.
"About a year ago when Chris first came, Wyatt conjured a dragon from the television screen," Paige said, explaining it to Dan. "There's these magical beings called the Cleaners, and they erased all knowledge of Wyatt from the world. We cast a spell to get our memories back of the day that was missing, and we relived the day instead. But from Chris' vague recollections of Wyatt, I would hazard a guess at a memory altering spell, or perhaps memory dust..."
"Memory dust?"
"It's a powder Whitelighters have at their disposal," Chris said slowly. "It can cause people to forget things. Leo often whinges a lot when he has to use it, and has this really big moral spiel about why he hates to do it – people could forget their own children's birthdays, or an important meeting, for example – but he really gets so whiny because of theside-effects." Chris looked almost embarrassed.
"Side-effects?" Despite the gravity of the situation, Paige was abruptly curious.
"Uh, sexual side effects," Chris muttered.
Paige snorted in laughter. "Ohhh, boy," she said, with a soft giggle.
"Come on," Chris said softly. "We'd better go into one of the offices. Paul will get suspicious if he comes out and finds us here."
Paige and Dan nodded and followed him as he went into one of the side offices. Chris sat down on the couch, looking expectantly up at Paige and Dan as they came in and sat on the desk.
"Can you remember the spell?" Chris asked Paige when it became apparent she didn't know what he was waiting for.
"Oh! I think so." Paige turned, and picked up the notepad strewn carelessly on the desk, swiping a pen as she did so.
"So we're assuming it's memory dust, then?" Chris looked up at her through his hair, and Paige was struck just in that moment by the fact that Chris' eyes were just that same almost comforting colour Leo's eyes were. How didn't I see it before? "So I should just... get my memories back..."
Paige made an sound of affirmation and passed him the sheet of paper. "Here you go."
Chris managed a weak sarcastic smile and took the paper, unfolding it and scanning over the words before he spoke them outloud. "Moments lost make this witch wonder, warlock's plot or demon's plunder? If this is not a prank, help me fill in the blanks."
There was a tentative hush as everything seemed to freeze for a moment, and Chris' face registered a soft disappointment that it didn't work for only a second, before he suddenly folded over in pain; his face creased up and suddenly very red. He smacked his head into the corner of the couch, one soft whimper of pain escaping him before he clenched his teeth and pulled all his limbs in so he was as small as possible. Sweat stood out on his forehead, and he inhaled sharply. His breathing got harder, and Paige slipped forwards, grabbing his hand between her own.
After an agonising minute that almost seemed like an hour as pain washed over Chris. Paige stroked his hand, trying to calm him as he thrashed a little, and eventually he calmed. He turned his head, anguish etched on his face, and Paige was surprised to see anger on his normally calm features.
"He wiped our memories," Chris breathed, his voice harsh. "The son of a-" He stopped himself before he finished that sentence, but it rang in the air anyway, unspoken. Pulling himself up into a sitting position, he realised Paige was still clinging onto his hand. A thought struck him, and he looked up at her, startled. His green eyes were wide and moist. "You- you- didn't know. You didn't know who-"
"Don't make yourself sick over it," Paige said, her voice surprisingly tender. She smiled at him, wonder on her face. "We've got other things to worry about."
Chris sounded unsure, but hung his head. "Yeah."
"Hey," Paige admonished him softly. "This is a setback. But we'll figure everything out."
"Will we?"
Paige was struck by the doubt and pain in Chris' voice. She smothered the urge to hug him. I'm not normally this motherly around people... but he's bringing out the instinct in me. "Yes, we will," she said, surprised by the strength in her own voice. "We'll get Piper and Leo and Paul their memories back, and we'll get whomever gets Wyatt."
"But" Chris' face was drawn with pain. "Phoebe..."
Paige tensed, and she felt Dan's hand warm on her own shoulder. Slightly strengthened, Paige inhaled and exhaled slowly. Her voice wavered, though, as she tried to speak. "We'll manage. Even if we don't have-" Her voice hitched. "The power of three anymore..."
"No, that's not it." Chris' face was dark. "We figured out that she'd been pushed out-of-phase with it, and I resurrected Cole." He had the grace to look embarrassed. "But that's not- Cole, Paul and I went to examine Phoebe's body to see if it was one of Wyatt's clones."
Paige looked at him hard, hope rising in her throat. "And was it?"
"I don't know." Chris sounded miserable. "That must be when Wyatt worked his magic mojo on us."
"Did you not get a chance to examine her then?" Paige quizzed him, confused.
"Paul did the examining," Chris said. "He was just about to tell us when- I don't know... The wall caved in, I think." He looked troubled. "Her body must have gotten damaged then... Her face was..." He looked abruptly sick.
"Sshh. It's okay." Paige took her hand away, and turned her head to the door, just in time for Paul to push the door open. She sighed and froze.
"Chris?" Paul's voice was filled with uncertainty as his eyes flickered over the scene. "Chris, what's going on? I thought you said-"
"Paul, do you trust me?"
"Y-yes, but-"
"Then read this." Chris passed the spell over to Paul, who numbly took it. "But substitute witch for Whitelighter."
"How did you-" Paul's face was open and frozen in shock.
"How did I know you were a Whitelighter?" Chris stood up, and guided the numb Paul to the couch. "Read it."
Looking between the three people in utter consternation, Paul did as he was told and read the spell. The pain hit him as fast as it had Chris, and Chris held him softly until the pain stopped. Paul's face was ashen as he sat up again, and he looked at Chris in horror.
"That son of a bitch," Paul whispered.
"I'm not the one who's gonna tell mom you called her a bitch," Chris informed him darkly.
Paul swore so violently and inventively that Paige blushed and Dan chuckled a little. He looked at Chris in anguish. "We've lost so much time! The git bag knew just what he was doing, didn't he!"
"Yes." Chris' face was closed. "And we need to get mom and dad to remember as soon as possible, else..." He trailed off. "But one more important thing first. Did you manage to see if Phoebe was really-" Chris' throat tightened, and he forced the words out regardless. "-was really dead?"
Paul nodded, and opened his mouth to speak. Which was exactly the moment as the door splintered inwards. An energy ball flew through the air with vicious speed towards Chris and Paul, and Chris managed to fling both himself and Paul from the old couch as the energy ball smashed full force into the hapless piece of furniture.
Chris was vaguely aware than Dan and Paige had taken refuge behind the desk too, and his head twisted in horror to see a familiar blonde-haired figure standing in the doorway, holding an energy ball and looking incredibly pissed.
T-14
