Sasori was a mad lad when it came to decorating. Thankfully he married someone who was into it just as much as he was. For Deidara, there was something exciting about creating something big that lasted only for a few days, only to be taken down. If he was lucky, Deidara got to load his truck, and go to Hidan's place for a giant bonfire.

Of all the wild things Deidara did, he generally kept Sasori out of it, keeping him happy with a glass of wine to help ease his mind. Sometimes though, he couldn't help himself, which is how Sasori developed a fear of heights since marrying Deidara. To Sasori, he has so much to lose now. Life is so much more important now that he is married. Konan thinks it has something to do with Deidara jumping on bridges and in elevators or standing too close to edges in general. It's clear it all freaks Sasori out.

Still, Sasori must have his twinkly lights. Even if that means that he clutches his scarf like pearls as he watches Deidara hang them up. Deidara has proven himself to be quite the light king too. Especially with all his tech knowledge, he can make the display really shine.

"Don't you dare fall!"

Deidara snickered, "You tell me that every year!"

"And I mean it! If you fall, I'll kick your ass!"

"I'd rather you-"

"Don't you dare say it!"

Deidara rolled his eyes, feeding off the banter. Especially that Sasori still knew what he was going to say and got frazzled by it. So he still won. But as much as he loved his husband, he had to and decided to take a few overly wobbly steps like a jerk.

"You little shit!"

Ahh... a dear pet name Sasori often used when he's not impressed with the young man's stupid antics. Never a name Deidara took to heart. If anything, it swelled lovingly in his heart and made him want to tease Sasori even more. Like a jerk!

"Woah!" Deidara yelled dramatically, swaying side to side as if he were slipping, only to sway his butt in Sasori's direction in the end.

"Deidara!" Sasori yelled angrily, clutching his scarf harder. "If you think you're going to get any cookies when we get inside if you keep this up, you're mistaken!"

Deidara smirked, he did want those cookies as they usually included a warm drink and a cuddle under the blankets, but he just couldn't help himself,

"That's okay! I'd rather eat some of YOUR CAKE, babe!"

Gasping, Sasori the hand that held the scarf pressed to his chest as his pink cold tinted face grew red hot in embarrassment now that one of Deidara's sexual innuendos finally snuck out, "You little shit! The whole neighborhood can hear you!"

"They don't know what I mean."

"I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN AND I'M OLD!" Sasori yelled.

"Ah... maybe you're right... Woah!"

"Deidara! Enough with the fake tripping!"

"No- I-"

Sasori didn't know what to say as he watched the trip; Deidara dangling upside down from the roof yelling, only being held on by one boot.
What happened!?" Sasori finally yelled as it clicked this wasn't a joke. The way the blond just hung there awkwardly was strange though.

"I stepped in the gutter and my boot got lodged in it, hmmm!" Deidara whined, looking as best as he could to his ankle that was twisted painfully, "Owwww!"

Crossing his arms, Sasori let out a huff, "Good!"

"But what if I fall!" Deidara shrieked as his shirt rode up while he squirmed, the cold air quickly becoming uncomfortably cold as he had once been sweaty while working. Everything about this was an uncomfortable experience, especially when he tried to pull himself up

Sasori stood there as Deidara dangled in the cold. The fear of his husband's safety was long gone, instead, rationality kicked in. Surely the thick layer of snow would break the fall a bit. It wasn't like Deidara was cleaning the gutters. He'd be fine. Deidara wasn't hurt; he was a big boy.

"Oh my goodness!"

Sasori looked behind him at the house across the street. There a woman stuck her head out and stepped on the porch, "Mr. Akasuna! Would you like my husband to come over and help?"

"Yes!"

"No, thank you!"

Deidara glared at his husband and Sasori glared back.

"She called Mr. Akasuna. That's me." Sasori said firmly.

"She called Me! I'm Mr. Akasuna, hm!" Deidara argued back.

"That's it," she waved her hands at the two men bickering like children, "I'm calling my husband. Dear? Dear!"

Poking their head from behind the door as their mother walked inside, New Kid smirked at the scene, "Yo Mr. Akasuna!"

Both men looked at the boy.

"Throw snowballs at him!"

Deidara looked at Sasori, "No! He would never, hm!" he yelled as if speaking to both the boy and Sasori.

Even after saying that, Sasori looked down at the snow and picked some up, looking as if he was contemplating it. Usually, he would never, like Deidara said. But inside it just sounded so right. It was so deserved. Sasori needed this.

New Kid spoke up again, "Aim for his gut!"

Sasori looked up at the cold exposed stomach.

"Babe, no!"

Sasori made the ball and threw it. He missed and got Deidara's face. "Not bad..." he hummed as Deidara wailed in sadness. This was rather enjoyable. Looking back at his student, "Do you have a good aim?" He hollered across the street.

New Kid put on just his boots and gloves, no coat, and ran out the door to help his teacher throw snowballs at Deidara. This kid had long decided he didn't like Deidara, much like he didn't like his teacher. There was no way he was passing this up! Impressively enough. He managed to get Deidara in the stomach while Sasori hit his legs, around the shins.

"Ack! Babe ssstop! The snow is melting and going up to my chest!"

"Good," Sasori said as he threw another.

"Can I get him in the crotch?"

Sasori glanced at his student, "do you think you can?" eyebrow raised, intrigued.

"Only one way to find out!"

"AUGH!" Deidara shrieked, "MY DICK!"

Sasori and his Student snickered, all fun and well until the husband from across the street made his way over to dislodge Deidara's foot, but not before telling his son to stop throwing snowballs at Deidara. The guy was hanging like a salami and from the looks of it had been pelted with more than enough snowballs.

Having a good idea what to do, he moved the ladder that the man had already up and with thickly gloved hands wiggled Deidara's foot,

"Be careful as you fall!" He said, wiggling it more, ignoring any curses that slipped out from the other man's lips.

Like he cared if Deidara swore in front of his son. Kid probably heard much worse around his friends.

"Agh... Yeah yeah- I'm going to kick both your asses!" Deidara yelled down at the two, face bright red as Sasori still tried to hit him while not hitting the man who was helping. "Ack!"

The three watched as Deidara landed in the snow with a thud. Still loving Deidara and still being worried about his safety Sasori rushed over to see him lying face down in the snow.

"Are you alright?"

Deidara slowly got up. Snow all over his clothes, face, and hair. He looked awful, an absolute mess, and very cold. Being upside down for so long didn't help his complexion either. He looked dizzy as he tried to get up, and just standing there looked like a struggle as he swayed with knees buckled.

"N-n-n-no..."

"Good." Sasori gave him a few pats to get the snow off as he helped him up. "You can finish the lights properly tomorrow. Let's go inside." and linked arms with him.

"O-Oki..."

Sasori waved to the man on the ladder, "Thank you for your assistance."

"Uh, no problem..."

"You mean, 'It's not a problem.' However, I would prefer a 'You're Welcome.'" Sasori said smugly as he corrected the man's grammar.

The man rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

Oh, how he hated having to move back to his hometown for work. Who knew he'd pick a house right across from his most dreaded teacher!? He was a heartless bastard back then and a heartless bastard now. Definitely didn't deserve someone cool like Deidara- as irritating as the blond guy was. He looked over his shoulder at the house and shuddered. Old men these days...

"By the way son..." The man put his arm around his son's shoulder.

"Yes, dad?"

He sent the boy a thumbs up, "Good job."

"Gee! Thanks, dad."

"YoU'Re WeLCoMe."

They both laughed and went home. Truly a wonderful gift for both of them.

-x-

Deidara came down the hall to Sasori, thoroughly pink with warmth and all steamy after taking a hot bath. He looked at his husband sheepishly, spotting the plate of cookies and the extra hot beverage on the coffee table as Sasori sipped his own.

"Hmm...I'm not getting any cake tonight am I..."

It wasn't a question.

"No, you are not."

There was no argument.

Still, Sasori helped as he lifted the blanket, letting Deidara limp over and crawl under while his hands were full with the cookie plate and his drink.

"Feeling better?" Sasori asked as he glanced to the side, taking note of the high chance that the still tacky skin under the robe Deidara wore was in the only he was wearing. Intriguing, however, he was still needing to punish Deidara for his dangerous antics.

"How are you feeling?" Sasori said, quickly trying to ignore the steamy body next to his.

"I'm sore, hm," Deidara grumbled, stretching his neck side to side.

"You will probably be even sorer tomorrow."

"My ankle hurts."

Ah yes. The one that got stuck on the gutter and supported all Deidara's weight as he dangled from the roof.

"Good."

Deidara glared at Sasori, "No, not good, babe." Shifting in his seat he leaned more on Sasori. "What if I get arthritis in it now and can't get on my knees like you?"

Sasori choked a little as he caught on to what Deidara was implying. Apparently, he just could not stop himself tonight.

"Brat... I can still-"

"Yeah but not for long 'cause you get all whiny, hm." Deidara huffed, toying with his damp hair.

"I get the job done do I not?"

Deidara smiled like a child, "You do." and kissed Sasori's cheek. "But I'd prefer if you left all the heavy-duty work to me still."

"...are we talking about sex?" Sasori whispered.

"Yes, we're talking about sex, hm."

"Hm," Sasori grunted, smiling as he liked the thought of that, even though he had made up his mind that Deidara was getting nothing tonight. "Am I still allowed to tinker with those parts you purchased?" He flirted back teasingly.

Swooning, Deidara pressed up even closer to Sasori, the feeling of bare skin becoming more obvious, "Only if you use them on me, hm."

"Just not now." Sasori turned his nose upwards and away in a huff, "I'm still upset with you."

Deidara deflated instantly. He honestly thought he was actually getting somewhere here.

"Hmph!" He huffed before taking all the dishes and loving them to the side table much to Sasori's displeasure. With a squirm and many disgruntled groans, Deidara was on Sasori's lap.

"Why." Sasori groaned, tilting his chin down and his gaze upwards to Deidara. Not that this position was squishing him or uncomfortable. Well, maybe a little. But he had years of experience of Deidara crawling in his lap looking for affection. Deidara knew he had already said no and wasn't the type to force himself too hard. Not that Deidara ever had to try very hard. It was shocking how much the blond got away with. Not even Sasori knew what would happen.

Deidara ignored his question and instead wrapped his arms around Sasori's head, pressing his face in his neck. Sasori's eyes couldn't help but flutter; Deidara smelled so good. The little kisses on his forehead didn't help either. He was being smothered in Deidara's love. An all-out attack on his heart and his truest weakness.

"Well, I can't have you in my lap, hm." Deidara finally sighed out, still nuzzling his husband softly.

"And why is that?"

"Cause ya wouldn't like what you'd feel under your-"

"Enough!" Sasori snapped shoving at Deidara. As happy he was Deidara still found him attractive even at his age, sometimes it got unbearable and tonight it was beginning to be unbearable. Deidara's flirt game was strong though and Sasori could feel himself cracking. "Off now." Sasori huffed, still gently pushing Deidara.

"Ow ow ow ow!"

Sasori scoffed, "I hardly touched you."

"No, it's my ankle, hm."

Genuinely curious now, Sasori kept Deidara in his lap and lifted the edge of the blanket. Peeling back the festive socks Deidara wore, he recoiled in horror at the purple and the swelling. It even startled Deidara as it seemed to have gotten worse since he last saw it.

"Well that's not sexy at all, hm."

Sasori seethed and saw red, "To reiterate what I said to you when you were on the roof... I'm going to kill you!" He yelled as he grabbed Deidara's shoulders and shook them. It took all his willpower not to whoop-ass.

"Ahahahahaha!"

"Don't laugh! I'm very angry!"

Deidara really was a jerk.

The injury couldn't be ignored though as the two had to work together to get Deidara up so Sasori could get up and get some ice. As he held the ice pack at the freezer door, he stared at it and then at the back of the blond's jerk head. He wished he had another snowball. Maybe after he took Deidara to the doctor tomorrow, he would get him again.

At least he knew Deidara would never throw one back at him.

In the end, none of the holiday photos had Deidara's ankle cast and boot in them. It was embarrassing enough telling friends what Deidara did that caused him to break his ankle for the both of them. Photographic memories did neither of them any favor and the agony of the limitations the small cast caused to Deidara proved to be some of the best punishment Sasori could ever have wished for. That being said, cast or not, of course, it didn't stop the blond from trying... and failing for the most part.

Truly another holiday they wouldn't forget... Even if they wanted to.


and yes Sasori threw another snowball at Deidara. Men in crutches are easy targets. he has 6 weeks of healing time to pelt him with snow too.

bye bye LOSERS