"Here you are, two coffees!"
While Deidara happily grabbed the drinks, Sasori looked over the receipt carefully, eyebrows furrowed and nearly cross-eyed in confusion.
"What's up, babe? You look confused and you're like... never, hm."
Walking out of the cafe, Sasori held it up to his husband of BLANK years, "Look at this!"
Deidara's eyes darted around the paper looking for what he was supposed to be looking for. "The price? Were we undercharged?" He finally noticed as he saw the price was indeed lower that what it would usually be at another same chain location. Did she think he was so hot she got him a free coffee?
"It says a seniors coffee!" Sasori shook the small paper in Deidara's face furiously. "I'm only 57!"
Flinching back at the sudden gesture and horrific shriek, Deidara's eyes went up the receipt. It didn't take long for him to see it, process it, and then burst out laughing, "Pfft! Hahah! You! A senior!"
And Sasori wasn't even dressed in his old man costume today! In Deidara's opinion? His husband was fine as wine and looked nowhere close to the sixty-five requirement for senior citizenship. But of course, she couldn't have thought it was him who was the senior. He was only forty! Practically a baby.
With a small smile, Deidara snatched the receipt and stuffed it into his pocket, "I'll hold onto this thank you!"
"No!" Sasori hissed, "throw that out right now!"
"Sorry senior! No buenos!" Deidara cackled as he walked to the car, now having a hot dinner table discussion at their next meal with friends tomorrow.
"You little shit." Sasori seethed, the crude title creating a very little impact on the blond as he laughed it off. How could he be offended in the slightest when it was just so true? He was a little shit and everyone knew it.
"Aw! You poor baby, hm!" Deidara joked, pursed lips as he poked his husband with more teasing.
After driving to the grocery store with their cups now empty, they did their shopping with Sasori still left bitter; and not just from the black coffee. Even if Deidara slid a few of his husband's favorite snacks into the basket, he sulked. There was no coming back from this after all. First, one person thinks he's old, then the rest of them! Tomorrow Deidara could decide he was old and no longer walk alongside him with his... actually Sasori could live without Deidara tucking his hand in his back pocket in public.
"Oh wait!" Deidara said as they walked out of the store with their groceries. "Let's put these away and run into the liquor store. I want to get something before we go to Konan's tomorrow."
"Fine."
Into the liquor store, they both perused the selection. Both of them let their inner bitch emerge as they ridiculed and bickered over the best wine to bring. Apparently, one thing they could agree on was while Deidara had a trashy pallet and Sasori had a refined one, Konan could go either way and was unable to discriminate. In other words, they couldn't agree on what to pick. They compromised and got two bottles, one of their own choosing. Konan could drink from both easily as after having her second son she turned into a bit of a wine mom. The third son? That kid just ruined her. Was it so hard to produce a girl? Was she destined to be surrounded by men for all eternity?
Then those boys became teens... if she didn't have trouble with them then, she was to have a hard time now.
"Better make it three bottles, hm." Deidara quickly decided as they started on the way to the checkout, grabbing a cheaper, sweeter bottle.
Getting out his wallet, ready to tango, Deidara watched as the young woman at the register scan the three bottles. "Find everything you were looking for?" She asked with a stale retail smile.
Deidara noticed this and chuckled, flicking back his hair to woo her and give her day a little razzle-dazzle, "we sure did!" he said hand then going back to the wallet.
"Great! And how will you be paying?"
"...Debit..."
"Scan your card at any time!"
Silently with his eyebrows furrowed, Deidara scanned the card, punching in his code with a heavy finger and a huff.
Walking to the car the two got in, Sasori looking at his silent and cross-looking husband, "Are you alright?"
Deidara immediately blew up, "No! That brat didn't ID me, hm!"
Sasori frowned, "The sign there says they ID if you look under 35. Deidara you're 40."
"But I don't look 40!"
Sasori's eyes crinkled at Deidara's predicament. He looked at his husband head to toe and gave a sinister snicker, "Poor baby."
Deidara glared at his husband as he now had just as much ammo against him as he had, "Fine! I won't talk about the seniors discount at Konan's... but I'm keeping that stupid receipt, hmph!" As they drove home, he glared out the window, "Some people need to get their eyes checked... retail workers these days!"
oh no. vain babies got their feelings hurt.
bye losers!
