"And when it happens this where I wanna be. I love you."
Neurotic
Disclaimer: Charmed does not belong to me.
Summary: His name is not Chris Perry. It's Christopher. Christopher Halliwell.
Author's Notes: Am NOT abandoning this. Am back to uni, and working, and I'm going to finish this thing even if it kills me in the process. Am so sorry for the delay betweeen chapters - as much as it annoys you, believe me - it annoys me even more. I haven't been able to write for four months, and it possibly HAS killed me. If so, then my ghost is staying on this planet until Neurotic is finished.
Chapter the Forty-Fourth
"Without You"
P3 wasn't normally as jam-packed as it was. Piper felt stifled even before Ray dimpled a smile at her and swerved aside to let her pass. The dance floor was crammed with writhing, sweating bodies, in a rainbow spread of the latest fashions. The thrum of the beat of the music echoed through her. Her heart thumped in time with the music.
She hoped the baby wasn't affected. It's Chris inside of you. The thought, as always, made her feel a little bit weird. The person she'd seen walking around, fighting, using magic, talking back, swearing, orbing, and all manner of other things, was currently growing inside her. Her womb was incubating him.
She tried to imagine what Chris would look like as a baby, and couldn't. The very idea of small, perfect baby hands increasing and swelling into Chris' long, slender hands, piano-playing hands, disturbed her on a level she couldn't explain with words. She imagined if it happened, if a baby grew up fast, in accelerated time, that it would hurt. Bones popping into place, pushing up against newly expanded skin.
It would hurt. Piper could identify with the dull ache of growing pains, and she tried to imagine all those aches during growing up, when limbs reluctantly lengthened or gained inches during the night, all compressed into a few seconds...
She shivered, and threw those thoughts aside. She was looking for-
Piper paused, but was hit by a gyrating youngster in low-riding hipsters, exposing a smooth, taut stomach that she was briefly jealous of. She moved away as quickly as she could, weaving a way through the tightly packed dances, exubing the aura only the owner of such a club could.
Her hands fluttered to her belly, curving over it protectively, and her heart thrilled at the movement she felt beneath her fingertips. Bomp, bomp, bomp. His tiny heart was beating, strong. He was a fighter even from the very beginning.
She felt the smile curve onto her face even without meaning to smile. Stepping forwards, she was stopped by a wave of unmentionable pain.
Piper gasped, her vision of the undulating mass of bodies creaming into an indefinable blur of colours. Her hands left her belly, stretched out, searching, only to be knocked back by the mass of dancers.
Her whole world was, for a moment, narrowed down to that precise feeling of losing control. It perhaps hurt more than the deep feeling of unrest in her belly.
She forced herself in to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Her eyes flittered closed for a moment, and she tried to calm. As she opened her eyes, the world swum more into focus. The dancers swirled around, like fireflies dancing in the night sky, moving to the music that her heart was still thumping along to. There was no one else to come here right now, and she knew the bar was to keep functioning if she was ever to have the chance at a normal life.
Piper stepped forwards with renewed confidence in her work, but her legs felt wooden and heavy, almost as if moving them under water. She felt moisture on her shoulder, and touched her forehead. She was sweating.
She felt moisture on her legs, too, but ignored it. She stepped forwards into the throng of dancers, and suddenly the floor span away from her.
With a soft cry her feet fell from under her and she fell backwards. Piper was vaguely aware of arms supporting her fall, and a sea of faces swam before her.
"Is she okay?"
"Piper!"
"Her waters have broken..."
"Call 911!"
Those voices weren't her own... She reached out with her hand, vaguely aware that she was capable of damage, somehow, by doing that... All reason eluded her.
"Ni-"
Another voice said something, but pain swam over her like a fast, furious wave and she cried out, unable to understand it.
"Leo! Leo!" But it was absolutely no use. She knew it even as the words ripped from her lungs into the ether of the club.
"She's bleeding!" Another voice said, a voice which Piper refused to listen to for a moment. In fear she looked down.
Blood was flooding from her, a river of blood, soaking her clothes and puddling on the floor around her. Desperate her hands fluttered to her belly. She pressed down gently, searching, already knowing in her heart that she was too late.
"The baby?" She asked, not knowing whom she asked, just asking.
"Gone," a voice told her.
Piper opened her mouth and started to scream.
She stopped screaming when an arm reached down and insistently rocked her shoulder, in sharp jerking movements. Her eyes remained closed. She didn't want to see the physical proof that her baby had- that Chris was-
"Piper!"
Paige was there? It was probably Paige shaking her...
Piper opened her eyes. It was too bright for a moment, and she blinked furiously. Paige's face blurred and then became clear. Piper couldn't move, and she felt her eyes tear up. Her eyes and face felt hot, too hot. "The baby," she eventually got out, "I lost-" sob "-I lost the baby."
She cried like she'd never cried before, the tears scalding her throat, burning her vision, drowning her in a shame that she'd never felt before.
"Oh, honey," Paige said, her tone painfully reminding Piper of honey, and nothing sweet would ever make her feel right now, "you were asleep. It was just a dream."
Piper's mouth worked silently, silently. She thought she would never speak again. Paige would know no moment of rest if this was a joke. "A dream?" Her voice, broken, managed those stilted words.
"Yes," Paige said, soothing, looking over her shoulder. Her hair covered her face like a glossy brown curtain, and fear gripped Piper tightly again. She looked down. Her t-shirt was pulled tight over her belly, over the smoothness below. In wonder, her heart still beating fast, she touched her leg.
No moisture.
She looked around.
No blood.
"So Chris is all right?" Piper couldn't stop the relief from flooding through her voice, and realising in one swift and startling moment how deeply ingrained in her heart Chris had become. In a matter of weeks, she'd gone from deeply mistrusting him to being unable to imagine a life without him. She pictured his smile, and felt strengthened.
Paige turned her heart-shaped face back to Piper, her dark eyes scanning her sister's face. "As far as I know." Her expression turned grim. "As fine as he can be with that louse Gideon still on the loose."
"We still don't know it's him," Piper reminded her gently, still slightly dizzy by the realising that it had been a dream. Extremely vivid, though, and it felt real, as evidenced by her still high heartrate. But why would my dream have been so bad? She knew it was usual for mothers-to-be to dream of their baby's death in the womb or during birth. She'd experienced it with Wyatt. But that dream had been so much more visual and tactile. She could still smell her own blood, and that was probably what was keeping her on edge.
"Hmm," was all Paige said in response. She could probably feel Piper's distress, for her hand held onto Piper's. For once their skin tone almost matched. Piper's hands were still trembling from the aftermath. "They'll be fine," Paige told her. A quirky grin slid onto Paige's face. "Trust me."
"ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
At the sound of his younger brother screaming, Chris immediately stopped, tensing his entire body to swivel around. He wasn't given enough time. Something slammed into his back and his entire body lurched forward. He braced himself for the hard landing, and freaked out when he collided with something solid and warm.
He let out a small yell of his own, before hearing a chuckle. He looked up hesitantly to see eyes the same colour as his own, smiling at him.
Chris pulled out of Leo's grasp, and self-consciously smoothed down his clothing as he tried to assess the situation.
"Do you have to scream like that every time you run into someone?" Chris said, hearing the bite in his tone but hating his inability to pull it back. He softened the edge with a small apologetic smile.
"I wasn't!" Paul stepped hurriedly aside, mirroring Chris' movements unconsciously and smoothing his black t-shirt. "I just remembered Leo was still..." He faltered, gestured with his arms for a second before sighing in a huff. "Y'know."
"Leo's still what?" Leo prompted, looking confused and wary.
"Oh." Chris grinned. "You don't know we're your sons from the future."
"Your- sons- future- what?"
As Paul bent over laughing, Chris took pity on his father.
"Moments lost make this witch wonder, warlock's plot or demon's plunder? If this is not a prank, help this Elder fill in the blanks."
Leo stumbled back, and Chris winced, moving forwards to grab Leo's elbow and steady him. His burst of pain was shorter, and he shook his head a couple of times as if to clear it. Leo's eyes widened. "Paige, and Phoebe-- and Piper- and--"
"Ssh, it's okay, they're all right," Chris said quickly, still holding Leo's elbow, completely unaware of the tender expression on his face as he soothed his estranged father-to-be. "As far as we're aware. Phoebe's still missing, but we've figured out how. Paige is fine. But look, Leo, we know. We know who's going to turn Wyatt."
Leo's eyes flew to meet Chris'. "Who?" His voice was tense and with an edge that both Halliwell boys felt.
"You won't believe us," Paul said candidly, pushing back his hair with one hand, annoyed with it.
"Try me."
Chris and Paul exchanged a long look, and Chris flung his hand around carelessly. A silence barrier shimmered into place. "We figured out that no one's trying to turn Wyatt evil."
"Huh? But-"
"Shut up and listen, okay? We don't have much time." Chris locked gazes with Leo, trying to convey the urgency. "No one's actively trying to turn Wyatt evil. Wyatt turns evil from the side effect of the person planning to kill him."
"Kill-?"
Chris absently noted how flustered Leo got when he was completely surprised, and realised he must have gotten his calmness under extreme pressure from his mom. "But I don't really mean person. I mean Elder. It's an Elder."
Leo's mouth worked silently for a second. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. "Any particular Elder?"
"You're not surprised?" Paul questioned, surprised himself.
"After this last minute, remembering everything... I think it'll be a while before anything surprises me. Which Elder." Leo's eyes went flint-hard.
Paul opened his mouth to reply, but stopped in surprise when Chris put one hand on his chest. Chris shook his head softly. "We can't tell you," Chris said, simply.
"What do you mean you can't tell me-" Leo started to demand.
"Because we need the element of surprise," Chris said simply. "The only way we'll be able to catch them off guard is with shock. You knowing it's an Elder, though, may help a little... Is there any way you can call all the Elders together? Tell them you have suspicions of a rogue faction of Elders planning to kill Wyatt. It'll give us the half hour we need to do what we have to."
Leo started to nod, then froze. "Is it-- Is it Gideon?"
Chris swallowed down the urge to nod, and casually said, "Why would you think that?"
"Just that you're at the school," Leo said nervously, his eyes skittering between the two.
"Oh, we came to find you," Paul said, airily. "Weren't expecting to find you so quickly, though."
"Right," Leo said softly, still looking worried. "I'll go. You two take care. I'll be keeping an eye on you, though."
Paul opened his mouth to protest, but Chris softly smacked him on the arm. "That'll be fine," Chris said quickly, a false reassuring smile fleeting across his face. He dispelled the barrier, and Leo orbed away.
"Quick," Chris said. "His office is this way." The softness that had surrounded Chris when encountering Leo immediately fell away, and a determination took hold instead. Paul tensed up automatically from the tension in Chris' body and on Chris' face.
They moved silently and swiftly through the halls, purpose in their driven movements.
"This way," Chris said.
"You sure?"
"All the times I got sent in for causing trouble? Sure I'm sure." Chris turned a corner, and then held up a hand as he stopped by a large oaken door. "Sshh."
"Wha-" Paul started, before earning himself a furious glare and shutting up.
Chris bent closer to the door, listening. There was a sound of soft murmuring, and then a muttered curse. Blue light sparkled under the door and then there was silence.
"He's gone. I'll go first," Chris said, pulling the handle and yanking the door open. Swiftly and surely he stepped around the corner, his hands curved, ready and outstretched to do some damage if necessary. "It's clear," he said.
Paul followed him in, before quietly shutting the door.
Chris absently set up a barrier around the walls of the room before heading towards the desk and starting to rifle through the contents. The barrier cast an eerie light over the room, and every footstep chilled Chris to the bone. A nervous energy egged him onwards. They were so close, but maybe they were even now too late...
He sruffled through some paperwork, sighing at the badly spelt homework, and detention cards, and assorted broken stationery. He slid the drawer closed softly. Dnnk.
Startled, Chris lifted his head up. Confusion splayed childishly across his face, and Paul looked across, worried.
"Chris, what is it-"
"Sshh." Chris waved his hands around. Experimentally, he opened the drawer again and slid it shut. Dnnk.
"What the hell are you on and where can I get some?" Paul said, hands akimbo as he stared at Chris.
"Must you always spout those tired cliches of yours?" Chris said tiredly, as he glanced around the room, a curious light in his eyes.
"What have you eureka'd yourself into now?"
Chris narrowed his eyes, and let that one slip. "There's an echo in this room," he said.
"It's a big room," Paul said, although now he looked slightly intrigued.
"Not big enough for this much of an echo," Chris said warily. "Stay still."
He started to step around the room, listening to the volume of his footsteps. As he approached the door, they started to get louder... Then quieter... Closing his eyes, he followed the sound of his own footsteps as he edged around the room. Letting his senses completely take over, Chris moved as if in a trance until his footsteps got really loud. Reaching out with his hands, he felt a soft material slide under his hands, and he yanked it away.
His eyes snapped open as he came face to face with eyes the same colour as his own.
Chris let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding, feeling deflated and a little bit silly.
"It's just a mirror," he said, disappointed.
"Just a mirror?" Paul repeated, his voice lilting up into a question. "I don't think so."
Confused, Chris turned back to his own reflection, before realising just what it was that Paul meant. The Chris in the mirror had long, dirty hair, and was staring right at him.
Chris turned back to Paul, lost, and turned back to the mirror.
"Oh, crap," Chris said, eloquently, vaguely registering the similar sentiment from behind the mirror.
T-9
