Chapter 7: Human Reactions

It wasn't that bad. Meredith had a hard time admitting it to herself, but the second day of Derek's presence at the practice didn't seem that bad. He didn't interfere with her patients, he didn't make offensive comments, he was just his overly charming self. She even caught herself cracking a smile when he retold an amusing story from the hospital he worked at. She wouldn't risk taking the tag off the asshole yet of course, but she felt much less annoyed.

She was just finishing with her patient when Izzie knocked on her office.

"Mer, will you be done soon? Wayne needs you; they found a dead girl on the rocks. Probably an accident, they still need a doctor though. Dr. Shepherd is free but he's all green. I don't think we should send him even if he clearly wants to."

"Good thinking, Iz. It will just take five more minutes, I hope. I'll be right back with Wayne."

"I'll be perfectly fine, really." She heard Derek's assurance when she joined him, Izzie and Rigsby at the reception desk.

"You don't know what you're talking about," said Meredith. "I'll go. Where exactly did you find her?"

"A little south from the highway."

"Someone we know?"

"Fortunately, no. Clearly a tourist. Are you coming with me?"

"I'll take my car," she answered.

"That's fine," nodded Wayne. "We're about 15 miles away from the town. Then you change the means of transport."

"Be right there."

"I'm going too," insisted Derek.

"Why can't you ever listen to me?" she sighed.

"Why can't you?" he reiterated. "I hate being of no use. This was supposed to be my call. I want to go and see at the very least."

"Okay, fine. Just don't tell me later that I didn't warn you. Have you ever ridden a horse?"

"I have." He had. The last time when he was in Rachel in fact. It was more than two decades ago, but it was like riding a bike, right?

"At least that. Come on."


"You don't look so confident anymore," Meredith commented on his focused expression and rigid movements as he sat on top of a brown horse. They were following one of the Sheriffs to the place when the poor girl's body was found. It was virtually inaccessible for vehicles.

"It's… it's been a while," he admitted. Now, I remember my ass hurting like hell."

Meredith let out a little laugh and lapsed into silence.

"So," he started conversationally. "Do you often have to do this kind of thing?"

"Not really."

"Has it ever been not an accident?"

"Uh, once."

"A murder?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Really."

"The weather's nice."

"Sure."

"Are you capable of producing a sentence consisting of more than one word?" he sighed defeatedly.

"What, you wanna talk now?" she arched one of her eyebrows.

"Yeah, that was kind of my point."

"Oh, well, sorry, I don't think we could strike an interesting conversation, so I just didn't make an effort."

"We can't even talk?" he frowned. "Why can't we talk?"

"I think… that we're just two different people who have little in common. Can't possibly imagine what we would talk about. Plus, you irk me."

"Okay, let's forget about the irking thing. I think we have a lot in common," he argued looking at her. "We're both doctors, we're not from here, we're stubborn and we don't like losing. About the likes and dislikes, that I can't tell much since people actually talk to get to know each other."

"You might be overlooking the fact that I don't want to know you."

"Nah, that's not possible," he grinned. "Where are you from?"

"Far far away," she cut short.

"So, you must know Shrek personally," he quipped.

She looked at him as though he had just confirmed her suspicions that he was insane.

"Sorry, my nephews have made me watch it at least five times. Well, I'm from-"

"Yeah, I know. We all know, you're from New York."

"Yeah, but I also wanted to add that my Dad was born here, in Rachel."

"Oh?" She knew that the Shepherd family was once very large.

"He was born and grew up here," Derek went on. "Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that but he spent all his childhood here. He moved to New York when he was 19."

"For work?" asked Meredith curiously.

"No, actually. For love," he said with a smile. "He fell in love with my Mom and dropped everything to be with her."

"That's romantic," Meredith said softly. She squinted her eyes as the desert was becoming bright red with the rays of the sun that's going down slowly. The sky close to the horizon was almost pale, in stark contrast to deep blue of the high heavens.

"It is."

"Doesn't he… I know it's not really my business, but doesn't he miss Rachel?" she asked him. "It's a place that worms into your heart when you live here a bit."

"He did, as far as I can remember. He died when I was ten," he clarified seeing Meredith's puzzled expression.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said delicately.

"That's okay now. Just don't start to treat me better because you know I've been a half orphan most of my life," he joked.

"I'll remember not to," she giggled.

"Don't you miss… wherever you're from?" he asked as the terrain became more steep. They were finally able to see a little group of people awaiting them.

"No," came a very decisive answer. Something in her voice, a hint of bitterness perhaps, told him not to pursue.


They dismounted their horses and went up a narrow path to the scene of the tragedy. Suddenly, a terrible nauseating smell made them recoil.

"Sweet Jesus, what is that?" Derek coughed hiding his face into the crook of his elbow.

Meredith pulled two masks and two pairs of plastic gloves from her shoulder bag and passed one set to Derek. "Here, wear this."

"Thanks."

"Listen, maybe you should stay here," she offered good-naturedly. "Trust me, it won't be pretty."

"No, I… I'll be fine," he assured her adjusting his protective mask.

"Okay," she just said. It was pointless and inappropriate to argue at this stage. "Do you know who she is? Are there any witnesses of what happened?" she asked their guide.

"She had the whole set of documents on her. April Kepner, 27, from Boston. She was on a trip with friends, they're still in a hotel in Vegas. She split from the party without their knowledge two days ago. Everyone thought she was in her room feeling unwell."

"It sounds weird," frowned Meredith. "What was she doing all the way down here alone?"

"Well," the sheriff looked apologetic. "Seems she was not completely right in the head. Thought she was part alien part human. It looks like she didn't take her meds the fatal day. And… here we are…"

They finally reached their destination to see a body of a young woman lying in a strange position in a slight indentation of rock.

"Oh, God," Derek gasped doubling over and turning away from the horrible sight. He started choking as the bile rose up his throat. "Oh, God… Oh, God…"

"I know," Meredith said gently placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. She couldn't blame him for his violent reaction. She didn't do any better in her first time. It was nothing like practicing on cadavers in med school. "Take a step back, Derek."

He shook his head taking a few deep breaths in order to calm down his queasy stomach. "I'll be fine…"

"Derek, please. I'm saying this for your own sake. Take a few steps back, take off your mask and breathe in fresh air. Come back when you feel better. It really won't make anything easier if you start throwing up here. I need to take care of her, okay? So, they can move her from here."

"Okay…" he breathed out. "Sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry about," she said, tracing reassuring circles over his shoulder blade. "It's a traumatizing view. Go now."

When he was back, he still looked deadly pale but he seemed definitely more collected. Meredith was just finishing the examination when she looked up at him, "You alright?"

He nodded and knelt to look closer at the body of the girl. He was a doctor after all.

"So, what can you tell, Dr. Grey?" asked the sheriff.

"The cause of her death was a severe trauma to the head. No signs of struggle or physical abuse. She must have fallen from that shelf above, probably slipped. The death was instantaneous, her parietal lobe is practically shattered to pieces. There's also a broken leg, three cracked ribs from what I was able to establish. Also signs of minimal internal bleeding."

"May her soul rest in peace," nodded the sheriff. "At least, she didn't suffer."

"That's really all I can do for her," sighed Meredith getting to her feet.

"Thank you, doc. One of our men will escort you back."

"Oh, one thing," she said looking at Derek with concern. "Do you have a spare jacket? He's shivering."

"Sure." A minute later, he handed her a brown leather jacket with the badge of the county sheriff office.

"Put it on."

"I am fine-"

"Sure you are. You're also cold. Don't be a baby. The sun has just set, it's a night in the desert."

He accepted the jacket with a nod of his head, and they started to descend. The way home was silent but for occasional remarks.


Meredith stopped the engine of her car as they reached William's house. Derek looked like crap since he saw April Kepner's body, and she didn't have the heart to let him march home from the practice alone.

"I'm sorry I've been so inarticulate," he confessed apologetically. "I don't know what came over me."

"I know," she nodded. "A normal human reaction. If this makes you feel better, I actually threw up when I was first called to a scene. It's the worst when they find them in the desert. The heat and the animals… well, you know."

"Thanks for being so understanding. Felt good to see your softer side."

"Don't get too used to it," she replied crisply.

"Why not? Being nice is… nice."

"I was being nice because you weren't acting like an asshole. Since I don't believe you're able to go long without acting like an asshole, I fully expect you to piss me off again soon."

"Have a little faith in me," he quipped.

"How lame was that?" she chuckled turning to him. "I see you've made your first friend here."

"What?" His eyes peered at her, but he registered with a slight disappointment that she was looking past him. He certainly thought that today they were the closest since they met.

"That's Bert," he said following her gaze.

"Bert? You named your dog Bert?" she laughed freely.

"It's not my dog… besides, he chose it himself," he defended himself.

"Riiight," she giggled.

She was laughing at him, but he found himself not caring this time.

"You have a beautiful laugh," he said quietly. "Maybe because you don't show it off too often."

"What?" she asked, the laughter dying on her lips, but the traces of the smile still on her face.

"Just what you heard. Your laugh is beautiful, just like the rest of you."

She wasn't exactly sure how to react to it. She didn't want these kind of compliments, but she wasn't angry either.

An energetic knocking on the window made them both jump. Meredith whirled her head to see Miranda standing outside with an unreadable expression. "You mind moving this tail wagon? You're blocking me in."

True enough, Meredith's car was parked practically in the middle of the road making it impossible for Bailey to drive through.

"I'm… I'm going, Miranda. Sorry," she said quickly. "Good night, Derek. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You will," he smiled and got out. Miranda Bailey was still watching him attentively, even after Meredith drove away. Was it a warning for him to stay away from Meredith? Nothing could make him do that. He was too intrigued. Every day he discovered a new layer to Dr. Grey. His mind was set on shedding them all. Literally and figuratively.