Foss managed to keep his head up as he landed on his back, but his momentum was such that he slid several feet and struck a cabinet. His chest, back, and head aching terribly from the phony Leela's assault, he watched from the floor as the foggy image of the cyclops bent down to retrieve her pillow. She's going after Fry again, he realized. I can barely see, and I don't know if I can even stand, but I've got to stop her somehow…

He was able to stand by grabbing hold of a scale and dragging himself upward. To his dismay, the hospital room was apparently free of pipes, wrenches, baseball bats, or any sort of blunt, heavy object he might employ as a weapon. Leela glanced indifferently at him while she pressed the pillow against Fry's face. He knew the young man had only seconds to live.

Suddenly a familiar voice bellowed, "Get away from my best friend, you murderous murderess!"

Foss' first impulse was to check his cell phone, but it quickly occurred to him that Bender actually was in the room with him. The robot, arms curved and raised, appeared ready for a fight. "You came!" said Foss with relief.

"I thought about what you said, with the blood on the hands and all," said Bender as the evil Leela tossed aside her pillow and took up a defensive position before him.

"So your conscience got the better of you," said Foss.

"Nope," said Bender. "I just wanted to make a dramatic gesture by showing up at the last minute and saving the day."

As he spoke, the fake Leela morphed into her skeletal robot form. "You can't hope to defeat me, bending unit," it uttered in a chilling voice. "My frame is composed of reinforced titanium. I can lift twenty times my own weight. I have a black belt in Arcturan kung fu. I AM PROTEUS."

"Not for long, buddy," said Bender.

Several curious orderlies filed into the room, stood next to Foss, and watched Proteus and Bender circle each other. The shapeshifting robot's servo mechanisms whined as its legs swiveled gracefully. Just as it was tensing up to make a move, Bender reached into his chest cavity and pulled out a device shaped like a steering wheel. Suspecting it was a weapon, Proteus reared back and pounced. Bender had only enough time to shield himself with the device before his enemy was upon him…

…and then, abruptly, both robots withdrew.

The device was now in the hands of Proteus, who effortlessly snapped it in half. Bender looked down at his arms, legs, and torso, and his eyes nearly burst out of their sockets. "No," he gasped in shock. "No! NOOOOOO!"

"Congratulations, loser," said Proteus in a flippant tone. "You are now the proud owner of my body. I hope you like booze, because you need it to live."


To be continued