Neurotic


Disclaimer: Charmed does not belong to me.

Summary: His name is not Chris Perry. It's Christopher. Christopher Halliwell.

Dedicated to: ME! Because it's my 21st birthday! Hurrah, hurrah.

Wait a second, it's my 21st birthday, and I'm uploading fan fiction… I'm so sad. :O


Chapter the Fiftieth

"Confession"


Chris knew the instant the Calling had been revoked, and dropped the shield immediately, to a chorus of stares.

"It's over," he said, looking at them all. "Can't you feel it?"

A host of shaking heads accompanied the blank stares.

"Oh," Chris said. He frowned. "Well, it is. The Calling bit of it all, at least."

"Brilliant," Paul said quickly, managing to speak despite the confusion of everyone else, breaking the silence.

"So I can stop researching the Calling now?" Piper asked, slamming the book closed with a very relieved expression. "Excellent. This book is making me cross-eyed."

"Wait 'til Chris has made the online version of the Book of Shadows," Paul said, winking at Piper. "It's amazing."

Chris blushed from the compliment, still feeling a bit weak and unable to stand. In the seat opposite of him, Paige sat, her face paler than normal, but a cheesecake milkshake in one hand. He had the feeling she would understand how he was feeling at the minute, and felt a rush of guilt again.

They'd been right to kick him out, several weeks ago.

His methods were faulty.

"You put the Book of Shadows on the Internet?" Cole looked at him. "Isn't that a little stupid?"

"Naw," Chris said. "Demons honestly thought it was a joke. And mortals… I got a publishing contract for it, actually, from some kids' book place, who thought it was a good idea for a novelty illustrated book."

"You really were obsessed with the Book of Shadows," Victor said, wonderingly, leaning against the fireplace. He looked a little tired, and Chris looked over at Paul.

"Paul," he said, inquisitively. "Seeing as you're still not under Elder employ, I don't suppose you could fix things around here, could you?"

Paul blinked, as if he hadn't thought of it, and then grinned. "Sure."

He went for the Grandfather clock first, putting his hands over it, healing it back to normality.

"I could get used to that," Piper said, smiling at Paul. Paul smiled back at her, a little nervously, and Chris got that rush of memory again, of a thousand off glances, of whispered huddles between Paul and Pippa, and suspicion rumbled in his stomach, but without more information, whatever Paul was hiding was going to remain a mystery. And Chris doubted Paul would respond to a direct question.

Paul had healed about everything in the sitting room when Leo orbed in, holding onto a young woman that Chris didn't recognise at first.

A young woman that Dan obviously did.

"Jenny?"

Dan stood up from being at Paige's side, where he had been constantly since the potion incident, and rushed over. The woman – Jenny – blinked at Dan uncertainly, and then burst into tears, throwing herself into his arms.

That's when Chris recognised her. "Jenny Gordon!" Chris blurted. Piper looked at him, her eyebrows high, then looked back at Jenny with surprise. Paige, who had looked a little confused and miffed when Jenny threw herself at Dan, seemed to tense even more that this strange girl had Dan's surname, her brain obviously going to the wrong conclusion. "Dan's niece," he added swiftly, in Cole and Victor's direction, as if to tell them, but in actuality to reassure Paige.

Paige tossed a thankful look at him and he grinned back.

"Jenny, what are you doing here?" Dan held her at elbow's length, looking her up and down.

"Long story," Jenny said. "I got kidnapped, about, uh, a week ago, your time, and-" She looked at the ground. "Stuffed through this time portal, I guess, 'cause I found myself in Roman Britain."

"What?" Dan stared at her downcast face.

"I know," Jenny said, "I didn't even speak the language."

Leo bustled in quickly, putting an arm on Jenny's. "She's been through some trauma," Leo said quietly. "And a severe shape change, one I assume you've been under for a while…"

Jenny nodded. "A while," she said, her voice gentle but haunted. "You could say that."

"But I didn't even know you were missing," Dan said, his eyes trained on her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"There wasn't anything you could do," Jenny said.

Dan blinked suddenly, and said very fast, "Roman Britain?"

Jenny laughed. "Afraid so."

"Then how did you get back here?" Dan said.

Jenny fell quiet for a long moment, and finally answered, "Another time portal, I guess," which seemed to satisfy Dan and the others, but Chris didn't believe her. Her eyes were haunted, and the pause was truly telling, and as she flickered her gaze quickly around the room, her gaze locked with Chris'.

An eternity passed in that stare, and Chris knew why she was lying. She hadn't been through a time portal, somehow the shape change had meant she was able to live until today, take the slow path through history. No one could go through so much history, so much pain and trauma, and not have it show in their eyes.

Chris knew about this all too well.

He also knew, to survive that long, sacrifices had to be made.

He hoped hers hadn't been too bad, and smiled at her. She blinked, and looked away. Chris quietly resolved to keep an eye on her – he didn't trust her.

Especially seeing as his dad had brought her back just at the same time as the Calling ended, which meant more than likely she had something to do with it.

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly, looking at Piper and Paige. "I did the Calling. I'm so sorry. I didn't have a choice."

Jenny looked so deeply ashamed that Chris was almost inclined to believe her for a second, but only a second. When it came to the Calling, you had a choice. 'Calling' was based on it being your choice – you couldn't do it otherwise.

Piper stared at her. "You almost killed my son."

Jenny blanched visibly.

"Wyatt has hurt her," Leo broke in.

Piper stared at him.

"We can't deal with this now," Chris said suddenly, his voice harsh. Jenny turned to him, her expression surprised. "Not this on top of everything. Do you have a home to go to?"

"My parents," Jenny stuttered.

"Now wait a second-" Dan started, turning to Chris.

"Great," Chris said, ignoring Dan. "Dad, can you take her?"

Leo moved to nod, and then froze, his mouth hanging open slightly.

Chris was unnerved by the expression. "What?"

"You called me dad," Leo said, a goofy grin on his face.

"I've called you it before," Chris said, suddenly feeling vaguely uncomfortable.

"Yeah, but that was when you were paying attention," Leo said, still smiling.

"Leo," Chris said flatly, his voice low.

"I can't go." Jenny looked at the ground again. "Wyatt will find me."

"I think Wyatt's a little more focussed elsewhere," Chris said to Jenny with a look that obviously told her he was deadly serious. "You'll be fine. If you're not, then call for Chris and I'll come and get you. Okay?"

"Okay."

Leo stopped smiling, stuck his tongue out, and then sheepishly put it back in when he caught Piper's incredulous stare. "Fine. Dan, is that all right?"

"Sure," Dan said, a little dazed. "Jenny, I'll be in contact as soon as this all breezes over, I promise."

Jenny smiled at him, and Leo orbed her away.

Just in time to miss the front door clattering open.

Ignoring the pain still rushing through him, Chris made his expression neutral as he forced himself to his feet and followed Paul as they both dashed out to the hallway. If the others knew he was still in so much pain, they wouldn't allow him to do anything, and that could cause his future to happen again.

He couldn't let them happen.

He wouldn't.

Skidding around the corner, fuelled purely on adrenaline, vaguely noticing Piper struggling to her feet, Chris hurtled around the newly healed furniture, ready to blast whatever demon was going to try its chances…

…only to have to freeze suddenly when he saw who it was.

"AUNT PHOEBE!" Paul whooped and jumped forward before Chris could react.

Phoebe was stood in the doorway, dirty and sweaty, holding baby Wyatt protectively, smiling as she saw Chris and Paul.

"Wait," Chris said hurriedly. "Is it her?"

Phoebe instantly levelled a dirty look at him. "You're getting skanky on my ass? I should be getting skanky on yours, Mr. I'm Your Nephew From The Future But I Can't Tell His Own Aunt?"

Chris flushed. "Oh."

Paul made a small gesture with his right hand, and nodded. "It's her."

"I hadn't been able to tell from that comment at all," Chris deadpanned. Paul rolled his eyes.

"Wyatt!" Piper elbowed past Chris, and he had to fight hard not to let the pain show on his face. One gentle shove shouldn't have hurt like that. He was still overly sensitive from the amount of power he'd just used. The amount of power he knew he shouldn't have used. But I had no choice.

Piper grabbed baby Wyatt in a huge hug, planting kisses all over his face, her face twisted in desperation that she'd lost him, that she'd forgotten about him again.

"What, no hug for me?" Phoebe said, plaintively.

Paul looked at Chris, clocked his non-response, and extended his hands out. Phoebe grinned and walked into the hug. "How did you get away?"

"Oh, you know," Phoebe shrugged. Paul levelled a blank look at her, and she caved. "Demons started attacking the place. One crashed straight into the bars that Wyatt – older Wyatt – had set up, bent a hole large enough for us to get through. I kicked my way out, baby Wyatt did some vanquishing of his own, until we were out of the house. Apparently that was as far as Wyatt had set the restriction on orbing, 'cause baby Wyatt orbed us, and here we are." She stepped out of the hug, and frowned. "But older Wyatt saw us go. He looked mad, and said a name. Jenny."

"Oh, god," Paul said, his face pale. "And we just let her go. Chris!"

Chris opened his mouth, and let it fall.

Paul frowned, and instantly stepped over to Chris, his hand on Chris' elbow. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah," Chris said, "just a little tired from-" He gestured with his hand instead of saying the words. "Uh, can you go and help dad, get Jenny somewhere safe. Somewhere concealed by a lot of fairies."

"Asking me for help," Paul said, his voice low. "You aren't all right."

Chris looked back at him challengingly. Paul rolled his eyes and orbed away. When the orb lights cleared, Phoebe had gone into the sitting room to surprise Paige, and Piper – Wyatt snugly curled in her arms – had moved closer to him.

"Are you all right?" She looked at him with such large, warm eyes that Chris didn't have the heart to tell her the truth at all. She'd gone through so much in the last few weeks, and dealt with it all, that he didn't dare make it any worse.

So he would pretend. For her.

And in the end, hasn't this all been for mom, really? You wanted her back, you always wanted her back.

"I'm feeling a little sick," he said, admitting a small amount of the truth. Piper immediately put her spare hand on his forehead. "I'll just go and get a class of cold water."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine," Chris lied. "You go and rest, and put my brother down. With all that extra strain of carrying him, your water will break."

Piper wrinkled a face at him, but stayed still. Chris sighed exaggeratedly, grinned at her, and turned to go off into the kitchen. He cast a look back as he went, and saw her going into the sitting room to where her two sisters were.

His face fell as he knew no one could see it, and managed to get to the kitchen without incident, but as soon as he was in there, he couldn't keep it bottled up any longer.

He hurt. Everywhere. Inside his bones and behind his eyes and with every small movement.

He crashed to the ground as silently as he could manage, sliding down the wall into a heap on the floor, his vision blurring. He closed his eyes tight, trying to fight past the pain, and then freaking out when he heard footsteps.

Chris yanked himself up into a sitting position, knees pulled tight into his body, hands clasped around the edge, just in time for Cole to walk into the room.

Cole's expression was wary, like that of a trapped animal, until he saw Chris. He stopped in surprise. "Chris!"

"Hey Cole," Chris said, pretending to be fine.

That lasted about two seconds, until the wave of pain he'd been blocking with the aid of his passive power for the last few hours suddenly crashed down, and his head fell back, his eyes slamming closed again, and he was faintly aware that he was whimpering out loud, his fingers sliding out onto the cool tiles, grasping on nothingness.

"Chris!"

Chris was also vaguely aware that Cole's shout would bring too much attention, so he snapped his eyes open, and clenched one hand. A silence barrier shuddered awkwardly into life.

Cole looked around himself, open-eyed, and then dropped down to kneel in front of Chris, his eyes searching Chris' face.

"What's going on?" Cole demanded. "Are you hurt?"

"Hurt?" Chris exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. He coughed, the sound abrasive, and he knew he was shaking. "Yes. Everywhere."

"We've got to get you to Leo," Cole said.

"No," Chris said, forcefully, his gaze fiery into Cole's own. "You can't. You can't tell anyone."

"You boys and your blasted secrets, this is serious, you're hurt, and from the looks of things we're really going to need you over the next few days," Cole said furiously. "I-"

"You can't do anything," Chris insisted. "It's not the kind of hurt that can be healed. Because I'm not hurt."

Cole looked confused. "But you said-"

"I'm not hurt," Chris repeated, his voice as steady as he could make it. "I'm dying."


T - 3