"How do you feel?" the nurse asked him.
"Terrible," Fry replied. "It's like needles are poking me everywhere." He glanced down at the rest of his body. "Oh."
"Don't try to move," the nurse advised him. "Just lie down, relax, and talk as little as possible." She turned aside and spoke to two figures which, to Fry, seemed little more than upright blobs. "Go easy on him, all right? It's rough adjusting to a new blood type."
The two humanoid shapes approached him. Fry squinted and struggled to focus his vision, but the effort only made his head hurt. The person on the left took on a more definite form—it was Professor Foss. The person on the right resembled more than anything a fusion of the Tin Woodsman and the Scarecrow.
"We just want to ask you a few questions," said Foss, his voice seeming to come from a mile away. "First, are you really Fry, or are you Leela in Fry's body?"
"Huh?" said the dazed and confused Fry. "Oh, right. The body switch. We reversed it just before Leela attacked me."
"Leela attacked you?" said Foss with surprise.
Fry turned his head slightly to the right. "Who are you?" he inquired of the slender personage.
"I'm your old buddy, Bender," was the reply.
"You've lost weight," Fry remarked. "And you had a new voice chip put in. I like the old voice better."
"Save your strength, Fry," Foss cautioned him. "No more small talk. This is important. I have reason to believe that it wasn't Leela who attacked you, but a shapeshifting killer robot in the guise of Leela."
"No, no," said Fry, his voice lowering to a mumble. "It was Leela in the guise of Mildred. They switched bodies."
Foss and Bender shot each other bemused glances. "Tell me more," Foss said to Fry.
"Okay," the young redhead wheezed. "Right after Leela and I switched back into our own bodies, Mildred grabbed the device and used it to switch with Leela. Then Mildred, who was inside Leela, said, 'I'm free!' and ran away. That's when Leela, who was inside Mildred, went bonkers and skewered me. That's the last thing I remember."
"Free," mused Foss. "Free from what?"
"That's what I wanted to know," said Fry in a hoarse whisper.
Foss thought deeply for a second, then asked, "Have you ever heard of a robot named Proteus?"
Fry mouthed the word "no", and closed his eyes.
"Philip needs his rest," said the nurse to Bender and Foss. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to finish your conversation another time."
Neither the human nor the robot could make much sense of Fry's responses. As they strolled past the hospital's reception desk, Foss said, "I can only theorize that Leela was suffering from some kind of psychosis as a result of the second body switch. That would explain why Dr. Zoidberg had to restrain her."
"Uh-huh," said Bender. "That just leaves one simple question—where the hell is everybody?"
"Mildred obviously didn't want to be put back into her own body," Foss observed. "For all we know, she hijacked Raven to avoid getting caught. She has Leela's face and voice, so she could easily assume command."
"Naw, I don't think Goldilocks is smart enough to do that," said Bender. "She's probably hiding out somewhere, afraid to show her face."
"Perhaps," said Foss. "But where would a gorgeous one-eyed woman go to hide?"
"That's an easy one," said Bender. "When mutants want to disappear, they look for other mutants and try to blend in. That's something I learned while I was hiring mutants to work at my munitions factory. And I learned it from my good friend…"
"…Monica Tao."
Foss stuck his hand out to the Asian woman in the brownstone apartment, and she shook it eagerly. "I'm Philaster Foss," the professor introduced himself.
"Nice to meet you," said Monica, who cradled a sleeping infant in her arms. Turning to Bender, she said, "You've changed a lot since I saw you last. What did you do, trade in your old body for a newer model?"
"You could say that," replied Bender.
Foss looked quickly at the dirty interior of Monica's apartment, and the three children who were frolicking about in nothing but shirts. "Your children are lovely, Ms. Tao," he remarked. "It must be difficult for a single woman to support so many."
"I have the support of a generous uncle," said Monica.
"Now to the matter at hand," said Foss. "I'm looking for a mutant."
"You found one," said Monica. "I'm a hermaphroditic mutant. I father my own children. You should know that before you jump to any conclusions about me."
"I'm looking for a specific mutant," Foss told her. "Female, tall, purple hair, ponytail, one eye, very attractive."
Monica gazed upward as she thought. "No, can't say that I've seen a mutant fitting your description. However, I have several friends who are cyclopses, and several more who have purple hair. They may know more than I do. What's your interest in this mutant?"
"She took something that doesn't belong to her," said Bender in a booming Proteus voice.
"Sorry I can't be of more help," said Monica. "If you come back tomorrow morning, I may have something more for you. In the meantime, you may want to pay Mr. Tobler a visit. His cat had kittens. They're adorable."
"Will do," said Bender.
Once the robot and the professor had vanished around a corner, Monica drew the shades over her windows. Retreating to one of the many bedrooms of her apartment, she opened a closet door and allowed a female, tall, purple-haired, ponytailed, one-eyed, very attractive mutant to step out.
"Are they gone?" asked the cyclops girl.
"Yes," answered Monica. "You're safe now."
To be continued
