Sandy stared at her in disbelief. He didn't want her to blame herself, but instead she blamed him?
Kirsten stood there, looking angrily at him, thinking of what she had just said, and immediately regretted it. It hadn't been his fault, it had been, like he said, an accident. But she couldn't take it back now, it was too late, the words were already out of her mouth. The angry look on her face got a bit milder. Then, she simply turned round and walked off towards the car, she looked back at him, she saw a tear rolling down his cheek. She stopped, hesitated, she desperately wanted to go back to him and hug him, say that she was sorry. But she didn't. Instead, she kept walking towards the car where Seth was waiting. He held the door open for her to get into the car. She climbed into it and Seth after her, and they drove off. Kirsten looked back towards the tree one last time, but Sandy was gone. She cried. She cried loudly all the way home.
Summer and Marissa stayed at the Cohen's over the night. Kirsten had locked herself in her bedroom. It was dinnertime and Summer and Marissa had been out to pick up some pizzas.
"Dinner's ready" Marissa said as she entered the kitchen. She looked around. "Do you think Kirsten want some? I'll go ask her, just in case" she said and walked off towards Kirsten's bedroom.
Kirsten was lying on the bed with an unopened bottle of vodka standing on her bedside table.
She heard a knock on the door. She sighed, she knew what they were going to ask and she wasn't hungry. No, actually, she was starving. But she just couldn't eat, the thought made her feel sick.
The door slowly opened and Marissa showed up in the doorway.
"Hey Kirsten. I thought you might be hungry." Marissa said. Kirsten shook her head.
Marissa noticed the bottle of vodka.
"Have you been drinking?" Marissa looked worried as she asked this question.
"Not yet" was the short answer she got out of Kirsten through her crying.
"Oh, honey." Marissa said as she quickly walked over to Kirsten and sat down next to her on the bed. Kirsten sat up too and let Marissa hug her.
"I miss him, I miss him so much" Kirsten sobbed.
"I know, me too" Marissa answered as she rubbed Kirsten's back.
Sandy was standing in the doorway, he had been sent there to solve his problems with Kirsten, if he didn't, he wouldn't get to be her guardian angel any more. And he didn't want to lose her. He saw her lying in Marissa's arms.
"Marissa, can I trust you with something?" Kirsten suddenly asked and sat up straight.
"Sure, I can keep a secret" Marissa answered, slightly confused, wondering what she was about to hear.
"Sandy is my guardian angel, and I can see him if I want to, but only nine minutes a month. Today he was at the funeral, and he had heard what I said about his death being my fault. So when I said that I had forgotten my sunglasses in the church, I went to speak to him. He told me that his death wasn't my fault, and I said that he was right. It hadn't been my fault, it had been his. So I accused him for being responsible for his own death!"
"Ok, so he's an angel now?" Marissa asked, she wasn't sure what to believe. Kirsten saw that Marissa didn't quite believe her, but she needed her to believe that it was true.
"Yes, he is. Seth can see him too. Please, Marissa you have to believe me!" Kirsten begged.
"I believe you…wait, when you passed out in the hospital, did you….I mean, did you meet him? Cause I heard you whisper his name when you woke up, and you had that beautiful necklace in your hand." Marissa suddenly realized. Kirsten nodded.
"Yeah, he gave it to me as a sign to proof that it hadn't been a dream" Kirsten explained.
Sandy was still listening from the door.
"Marissa, what am I going to do? I have to talk to him, but if I summon him, I can't see him again until next month!" Kirsten cried.
Before Marissa could say anything, Sandy knocked on the doorframe. Kirsten looked up and saw him.
"Sandy" she whispered. Marissa turned around, but she didn't see him of course. She realized how stupid it must have looked.
"Is he there?" Marissa asked. Kirsten nodded. Marissa got up from the bed.
"Then I'll let you two talk. There's food downstairs if you get hungry later" she said as she walked towards the door. Since she couldn't see Sandy, she walked right through him, but of course she didn't notice. Although, Sandy did. It felt like walking through a cold shower. He shivered. It had looked weird from Kirsten's point of view too. She saw Sandy as a normal human, solid and real. And it was scary when she saw Marissa walk right through him. Marissa disappeared and Sandy walked over to her.
"That felt…weird." He simply said as he sat down beside her.
"What are you doing here? I didn't summon you…" Kirsten was confused, how could he be here?
"I know you didn't. They sent me here to work things out with you. You see, I'm not allowed to be you guardian angel if we are in a fight. So, what are we fighting about?" he said, remembering the Valentines Day two years ago when he had asked her the same question.
"I don't know. But I guess it serious…I don't know." She was confused, what were they really fighting about? All she could think about was the cause of his death, but was that really that serious? She had no idea.
"Well, they told me that we have to talk about how I died." He said. She looked at him.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said. It wasn't your fault or mine." She apologised.
He took her hand in his, trying to remember what had really happened that faithful morning. He remembered when he woke up, his first thought was to stay home with Kirsten, then he looked out through the windows, he saw that it was a beautiful day. He was torn between staying home or go surfing. Finally, the ocean won. That was a decision he deeply regretted. By holding hands, they shared thoughts, she saw his memories as clear as he did. It was a strange feeling, but she felt more connected to him than ever. It felt…nice, powerful…magic.
They remembered together.
When he had been out in the ocean, the waves had simply collapsed over him, he was hit in the head with his surfboard and passed out. Kirsten felt the same pain he had felt, Sandy felt Kirsten's pain when she had found out that he was dead.
The pain suddenly stopped, and they sat there, looking at each other, both knowing what the other were about to say. But she was the one that broke the silence.
"I'm sorry." She simply said. He nodded. "I'm sorry too"
She leaned her head against his chest.
"I think we understand what the other has gone through now" Sandy couldn't help saying.
"Yeah" was all she said to this. They were silent for a while, then she said "You know, I fell that pain all the time, and it won't stop until I die, when I can be with you"
"Well, I would feel the same if I was left alone, not able to see you more than 9 minutes a month" he said.
"So, you don't feel any pain being without me up there, but you would if you were down here?" Kirsten questioned, hoping that was not the truth.
"No, I feel pain, not as great as yours, but that's because I always see you, I always feel your presence. But the pain is always there too" Sandy leaned in and kissed her softly. "They're calling for me, I have to go. I see you soon, my darling. I love you so much" he stood up. She looked sadly up at him.
"I love you more." Was her answer. Sandy smiled at her.
"Wanna bet?" he stroked her hair, then he faded into a white light, then it disappeared.
Kirsten was left alone, she looked over at the bottle of vodka, reached for it, opened it and took a sip. Then she started to cry again. And she drank more.
