I can remember it like it was yesterday. The day the skies took you from me.
The night before, while our jets were set along the expressway of the capital city...I remember the time we spent together, alone...kisses and touches exchanged in the dark. Time spent expressing our love to each other in a hotel room near where we would take off from on our final mission. It was the sweetest moment of my life, to love and be loved in return. The heat, the feelings, the electric touch of our bodies becoming one...one triumphant moment, and then hours spent lying together in the night, our hearts beating as one.
I remember the confident expression you wore...always keeping your chin up in front of the soldiers, keeping our squadron's morale up. It was like you had every confidence...no...that you knew that this mission would succeed. That we would intercept the mass gradually making its way down from the heavens to destroy our city, and stop it from inflicting its terrible destruction.
Grimm, so young, who came to us on wings of fire. Despite everything he had been through with us, he still looked nervous. You walked over and slapped him on the shoulder, expressed your confidence in his abilities...I watched as the tension left his shoulders, some of your confidence spilling into him.
Snow, the outsider...the one that came to replace our dear friend, Chopper. You made him feel as if he were one of us...no...you made him one of us. I can remember how he stared off in the direction of our mission, lost in thought...remembering his lost carrier, the Kestrel. It was a blow to us, but an even bigger loss for him. It was his ship, and he felt he had let his captain and crewmates down...despite the fact it was no-one's fault at all. I remember how you stood beside him and talked with him for a few minutes as the techs made their final checks on our planes...the very Raptors we had escaped the Kestrel with. Afterwards...Snow didn't seem as burdened, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Finally, you came to me, a cute blush on your cheeks. I felt my cheeks tinge as well, and I looked away...the activities from the previous night still fresh in my mind...in your mind. You simply touched my hand...and I understood. No words were needed. I looked back into your eyes and saw your love, and knew that mine was reflected in my own.
Then the call came, and we took to the skies, rushing out to meet our destiny. Once in the air, you were yourself again...silent over the radio, unless you needed to give orders or respond to comments and commands. We knew you would lead us to victory once more...we knew that, with you as our leader, we could accomplish anything.
Then, the former Belkan fighters appeared...two squadrons, blocking us from our objectives. Eight tiny, delicate pieces of metals and plastics against our four. You had us keep formation and blow right through theirs, heading first to the interception point to maximize the ammount of time we had to take down the SOLG. When we arrived, we turned to meet our pursuers head-on.
Everything happened so fast...these were crack pilots, trained nearly as well as we were. We danced the dance of death with them miles into the sky, darting around, twisting and turning to try to out manuver each other. It was your finest hour...each of us killed one, you killed four...you took no damage from the battle, they couldn't touch you. We could almost feel your fury from our own planes...fury for their part in causing this pointless war, fury for the act that they were committing...fury at forcing you to kill once more.
And then it rushed over us, hurtling towards the city at terrifying speeds. You were the only one that could catch it...our jets were too damaged to get enough speed. We watched as you flew ahead, watched as you opened fire with your last missiles when you were in range...with skilled shots, taking down three of the four points we had to hit to break the SOLG. Your last missile was blocked by the slowly rotating blades that once kept the beast stable in orbit.
We thought all was lost. I could hear Grimm curse under his breath...and I could feel tears in my eyes for the countless lives about to be lost. After a few moments of silence, I heard your voice over the radio...talking to command.
"Command, this is Razgriz One...I'm out of missiles...my squadmates can't reach the objective in time. Is there anything else you can do?" Your voice was filled with despiration...you, too, felt responsible for the coming calamity.
"Command to Razgriz One. Blaze, we know you did your best...there's nothing that can be done. Break off engagement and return to base."
And that was when I felt as if something was wrong...a feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me something horrible was about to happen. I heard you click on your radio once again. I heard the eerie calm in your voice, as if you had come to some terrible conclusion in your thoughts. I knew, then, what you were going to do.
"Command, this is Razgriz One...I still have one more missile left."
"Negative, Razgriz One. We're showing that you have zero ordenance left."
I wanted to scream...I wanted to call out to you, beg you not to do what you were about to do...but my voice froze in my throat. They didn't know. They couldn't know.
"Nagase...I'm sorry," was all you said.
Snow and Grimm realized what you were planning. They shouted simultaneously over the radio, yelling for you to stop...to not do the terrible, noble thing you were going to do. It was too late.
We saw you accelerate, full burn, into the final area that needed to be destroyed...your plane suddenly engulfed by a massive fireball...soon followed by the SOLG itself shattering into many tiny fragments over the open water, burning as it took you down into the cold, dark sea with it.
I remember screaming your name...I remember hot tears rolling down my cheeks...and then, nothing.
When I came to, I was in a hospital bed...apparently, I found out later, I had landed my Raptor with everyone else...but when they came to get me, I was in a state of shock...numb to the world. They took me out of the jet...when I suddenly a screamed and broke free, grabbing the pistol that had been holstered on my hip. I pointed it at myself, but Grimm tackled me to the ground, knocking me out in the process. They had taken me to the nearest military hospital, sedated, and restrained to stop me from hurting myself.
I wanted to die, you know. I had not only lost another leader...I had lost the man I loved. For awhile, I started to let my body waste away. But then...but then I discovered something...a reason to keep on living.
Everyone came to your funeral...even our former base commander. Surprisingly, he expressed his regret at having misjudged you...at having misjudged us. Grimm was silently crying...Snow's face was a mask of grief. I...I cried...I was dressed in my uniform, with my medals and new stripes...and I would have traded everything I had gained simply to have you back again. I half-expected you to arrive suddenly from somewhere else, that it had all been a terrible mistake...that the search and rescue helicopters had missed you and you had had to stay on some deserted island until you were rescued by a passing merchant ship.
But as your coffin was lowered into the ground, and the rifles from your salute fired off...and the roar of F14's passed overhead in a missing-man formation...I knew that you would never be coming back to me...that you, and Chopper, were both watching everyone from above. Angels watching over the peace we had fought so hard to bring.
That was four months ago. Now, I kneel in front of your grave...the stone monument is the Razgriz, you know...burning incense in your memory. I've given up flying, now...the sky can bring me no joy anymore. My one joy...my last tie to you...sleeps in my womb until the day he or she is ready to meet the world.
That night left me with more than memories of you...it left me the greatest gift you could ever give to me. Our child will be named Blaze, your callsign...and I will raise our child in this world of peace we now have.
I love you, my angel...one day...one day we will meet again, and soar in the skies once more.
END
Author's Notes: Quite angsty, wouldn't you say? This is basically what I see as a possible alternate ending for Ace Combat 5...and I'm most deffinately a BlazexNagase fan. Sorry if this seems a bit OOC, but it's just something I had to get out. I tried putting in proper formatting, but wouldn't let me :P.Hope you enjoyed reading it!
