ZOMG SCHKOOL
By Hoogiman
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Chapter Seven: OH NOES MATHS!1
"Welcome to maths!" said the teacher, smiling.
Everyone groaned.
"Why don't you enjoy maths, children?" asked the teacher.
"It's not interesting at all," moaned Falco.
"You'll enjoy it today!" said the teacher.
"Really?" chanted all of the smashers in unison.
"Quite so!" said the teacher, "Because I have dropped pills into your tea that will force you to smile!"
"Stupid (insert swear word here) teacher!" said Bowser angrily, smiling. "Manipulating our bodies in a way that we have to enjoy learning!"
"Ha, I didn't drink my tea!" said Donkey Kong triumphantly, "So you can't force me to smile!"
"Well… uh… there are… what is your favourite food Donkey Kong?" asked the teacher.
"How do you know my name?" asked Donkey Kong, alarmed.
"Staking- stalking- talking… yes, talking to your… uh… parents…" said the teacher nervously.
"Oh, okay! Well, my favourite food is freshly picked bananas!" said Donkey Kong.
"Well… uh… uh… there's uh… bananas… in your tea…" said the teacher.
"Really?" asked Donkey Kong. "Okay!"
Donkey Kong sculled down the tea.
Donkey Kong started to smile.
"Drat!" said Donkey Kong, smiling.
"You idiot!" said Ganondorf, with a forced cheery smile on her face.
"WTF? Her?" teased Marth, "Haha! Surgery! Surgery!"
"That is not true, you maggot-loving, goose-eating-" said Ganondorf, with a smile on his face.
"What if I did in the night?" teased Marth.
Ganondorf checked.
"Haha! Made you check!" laughed Marth.
"Ness, did you drink your tea?" asked the teacher.
"No!" said Ness, smiling, "I'm always smiling when it comes to education!"
"Bash that little whiny bas-" said Ganondorf, smiling.
Everyone bashed Ness.
"Anyone else unpopular to bash?" asked Ganondorf, smiling.
Everyone turned over and looked at Yoshi, who was enjoying reading a book.
"Bash him!" said Ganondorf with a cheery grin.
Everyone bashed Ness.
"Anyone who is unpopular gets bashed!" announced Ganondorf.
"Yay! I haven't been bashed!" said Peach. "Which means I'm popular!"
Everyone bashed up Peach.
"Ow," said Peach, "At least I have you, Luigi!"
"Oh my lord-a!" shouted Mario, "You have-a Luigi's dead carcass there!"
"Oh," said Peach, "At least I have this tea that's safe to drink!"
Peach drank the tea, and was forced to grin by the drugs.
"Stupid school!" said a cheery Peach.
"Today, we shall learn about Pythagoras' theorem!" said the teacher. "What is Pythagoras' theorem?"
The bell rung.
"Have you noticed how we don't actually learn anything in these classes?" asked Ness.
"Not really," said Falco.
"Falco!" said the teacher angrily, "You're talking in class! Extra homework!"
"WTF?" asked Falco, "The bell rung! Hence why everyone ran out of class, because perhaps it was over?"
"Don't talk back! Detention! And extra homework!" said the teacher.
"I hate this!" said Falco.
…
…
"Do you have like, a weapon of some sort?" asked Falco to the teacher.
"Uh… yes, this machete," said the teacher, taking one out from her pocket.
"Can I borrow it?"
"Sure."
Falco borrowed the machete.
Falco stabbed the teacher.
She died.
THE
END
(of chapter)
