After Foss had recovered from enough confusion and shock to punch through a six-inch steel wall, he addressed the oversized brown rat with boldness. "You can't be Professor Farnsworth. Even if a human could turn into a rat, a disembodied human head can't spontaneously generate the skeletal structure and internal organs necessary for such a transformation. Furthermore, a rat's vocal chords are pitched at too high a frequency to reproduce the professor's voice."

The rat reared up on its hind legs, in which posture its nose was even with Foss' ribcage. "I find it hard to believe myself," it said, still using Farnsworth's familiar tones. "I can only theorize that my head landed in the toxic pool at the same time as a normal-sized rat, and my intelligence was somehow fused with the rat's DNA. I can't remember anything between falling into the sewer and waking up as a rat. I suppose I should be grateful to be alive in one form or another."

Foss scrutinized the creature's underbelly. "At least you're a male rat," he remarked.

"I know you, and I know Bender," said Farnsworth the Rat, scurrying closer to sniff Proteus' body. "But who's the slender fellow? I don't recognize his scent."

"Uh, that may be hard to explain," said Proteus/Bender. "Ya see, I'm really Bender, and the chump stuck with my body is called Proteus. I had to switch bodies with him to stop him from killing Fry."

Farnsworth's beady black eyes looked back and forth between Bender and Proteus. "Switched bodies, eh? I didn't know the Frinkomatic was designed to work on robots."

"It does require a certain suspension of disbelief," said Foss.

"You shouldn't stay here," Farnsworth the Rat warned him. "The toxic pool is brimming with rat DNA. If you fall in, you may turn into a rat yourself."

"I'm not leaving without you," said Foss firmly. "None of us is."

Farnsworth shook his head, and his rat eyes became moist. "You don't understand," he said glumly. "I can't live on the surface. I'm an unnatural freak, not to mention a plague carrier."

"I don't have time for this," said Foss, turning to his robot companions. "Grab him, boys."

"No, please! Leave me be!" protested Rat Farnsworth. His tail wagged forcefully as Proteus and Bender hoisted his furry brown body above their heads.

"He'll thank me for this later," said Foss.

Proteus turned on his eye headlamps while struggling to hold Farnsworth's unruly claws in check. "I'll thank you to not call me a boy," he said while leading the group along the sewer wall. "I'm androgynous, remember?"

Farnsworth had long since stopped resisting by the time the two robots dragged him through the manhole into the light of day. "Oh, dear," said the rat as he squinted. "I haven't seen sunlight for I've lost track of how many days."

The street was crowded, so Foss used some discarded garbage bags to conceal Farnsworth's new form from prying eyes. No one asked questions about the burden on the two robots' shoulders, although a few passers-by sniffed the air and wondered where the wet-dog smell was emanating from. Once they had reached Farnsworth's laboratory in the PE building, they uncovered the professor-rat and set him on the floor.

"I'll rustle up some cheese," said Foss. "In the meantime, you can look through your inventions for something to change you back into a human, or take a bath, whichever you like."

Farnsworth pulled his skinny rat body onto a stool and glanced over the contents of the shelves. "God, how I've missed the old place," he said wistfully.

On his way to the employee lounge, Foss informed the two robots, "We're not done for the day. As soon as I've fed the professor, we're leaving in search of Mildred. I've a hunch Monica and the other mutants are holding out on us."

At the entryway to the lounge they stopped in their tracks. Standing next to the refrigerator was Leela, straddling Foss' quantum bazooka over her shoulder. The laser sight waved back and forth between Foss, Bender, and Proteus.

"Uh-oh," said Proteus/Bender. "Mildred found us."

The girl's eye flashed fire. "Die," she said simply.

She pulled the trigger. A bolt of transparent energy flew across the room and struck Proteus' body, instantly dissolving it into its constituent atoms.


To be continued