The sound of the quantum bazooka discharge was followed by a grim silence. Foss didn't dare move or breathe. Proteus, still in Bender's body, felt despair well up in his cybernetic soul as he realized what had happened. Mildred, still in Leela's body, gradually lowered the heavy weapon from her shoulder.

Proteus sank to his knees and let out a cry of pure grief. "You maniac! You destroyed my perfect body! Damn you! Damn you to hell!"

Foss watched Mildred's expression turn into one of confusion. Once satisfied that the one-eyed girl had no intention of killing him, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a device the size of a playing card. "I hoped I wouldn't have to do this," he said, attaching the magnetized end of the object to the head of the dejected robot.

The effect was immediate. Bender's face turned into a mass of vibrating squiggles. "Gbldgbldgbldgbldgbld," his voice repeated over and over at high speed.

Mildred laid her firearm on the counter and walked closer to the robot. "What's wrong with him?" she asked Foss.

"It's complicated," the bespectacled man replied.

"I'm complicated," said Mildred. "Tell me."

"All right," said Foss. "Bender and Proteus switched bodies. The robot you disintegrated was actually Bender."

"Oh, my God," said Mildred with alarm. "I didn't know. I didn't mean to…"

"No harm done," said Foss, yanking the device from the side of Bender's head. "I've just overwritten Proteus' personality with Bender's."

The dazed robot shook his head. "Where am I?" he asked. "What's going on?"

"I'll tell you what's going on," said Foss as he took Bender's hand to help him rise. "You know those devices with your duplicated personality that made you so angry? One of them just saved your life."

"Huh?" said Bender. "What devices? What are you talking about?"

"He doesn't remember anything since the duplication," Foss explained to Mildred.

Farnsworth the Rat crawled into the lounge, the tip of his tail waving. "I thought I heard a weapon go off," he said with concern.

"Aaaaaargh!" shrieked Bender. "A giant rat!"

"Mildred!" exclaimed Farnsworth when his beady eyes caught sight of the cylcops. "You've got some nerve showing your face here."

"D-don't let it touch me!" stammered Mildred, shrinking in terror from the huge rodent.

"I hope you're here to give Leela her body back," said Farnsworth. "Because if you're here for any other reason, I'll chew your knees off."

"I came here to kill Proteus," said Mildred as she climbed onto a chair to avoid the rat's groping paws. "He's as much your enemy as he is mine."

"Who's Proteus?" asked Bender.

"You succeeded," Foss assured the girl. "Proteus is dead. You're out of danger. There's no more reason to stay in Leela's body."

"Yes, there is!" Mildred retorted. "You can't imagine what life was like for me—the uncontrollable rages, the constant urge to kill. While other girls were dating and getting married, I was locked up in an institution. Mr. Burns and his inhibitor chip gave me my life back, but at a terrible price—I had to spy for him. My relationship with Philip was a sham. The real purpose was to observe Zapp Brannigan and help Mr. Burns get control over him. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to do any of it, but I had to, or else Burns would shut off my chip."

"Insolent whelp!" Farnsworth chided her. "Is it fair that Leela should suffer in your place? No, I say!"

"Why's everybody talking about Leela like she's not right in front of us?" Bender wanted to know.

"I'm not going back to my old body until the chip is reactivated, and can never be turned off again," Mildred vowed. "And if you try to force me to go back, I'll kill myself."

Farnsworth sat on all fours and fumed. Bender, weary of the confusion, opened the refrigerator door and reached for a beer. Foss, however, remained deep in thought.

"I'd like to talk to Mildred alone," he said without changing his serious expression.


To be continued