Wow, thanks a lot for the reviews:3
By the way, my name is Mel.
Alright then, here goes my next chapter, I hope you like it. ;)
Blackrose2005: Nice Idea, let's see. So far I have no fix ideas. ;) If I want to stretch the story for even longer it would be a good idea.
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We are Friends
Chapter 5
(Cloud POV)
Slowly I made my way into the bar where Tifa usually prepared breakfast. Today, in my dreams, I saw this woman again. The same angelic face. But her eyes, last time I had seen them it felt as though I was looking into a sea, but this time, they seemed so dead. Was she sad?
I knew I needed to find her. Though I still wished I knew what her name is. I believed she was somebody important to me.
Entering the room I saw Tifa giving me a brief smile but it had vanished as fast as it appeared. Why? She always smiled at me, last time she bumped into me I saw her beaming. And now, now she would not look at me for longer than a few seconds. Was it about me sneeking outside yesterday? Might I have worried her? I should apologize.
(Cloud POV End)
"I'm sorry about yesterday, I should not have gone like that. I should have told you." the blonde apologized. A sigh escaped the woman's lips. "It's not that." she retorted.
"What then?" asled Cloud curisouly and took a seat right in front of her, eyeing her warily.
"I-" Tifa hesitated and placed the mug she had been cleaning on the threshold. Her eyes avoided his and stared into the sink. 'What am I to tell him now? I told him the woman he believes to have met was not real, caused by his medicine.' Once again she sighed. Brushing a few hairstrands out of her face she raised her head and looked into his blue eyes.
"I was worried." she retorted placidly. "You have been shot not too long ago, strolling around on your own is too dangerous so far."
Cloud nodded. "I understand. I am sorry." Giving Cloud another brief nod she turned around and put the already cleaned mugs into the little cupboard. Cloud's eyes rested on her back. Taking in every of her moves his eyes wandered up and down her body.
"I saw her again today. In my dreams." he said as if he was in trance. His face wore no expression just focused the woman in front of his eyes who had not turned around yet. Tifa dropped the mug she was about to put away back into the sink.
(Tifa POV)
Why can't you just forget her Cloud? I fought the urge to ask him what he remembered about her, but I made a promise to myself that he would not find out she ever existed. It's too dangerous, but knowing he would not give up so easily, I wondered. Can you promise me never to search for her?
"I see. What was this dream about?" I was curious, yes I really was.
"She was wearing a pink dress and a basket with flowers." He told me. From the corner of my eyes I saw this dreamy look in his face again. It somewhat disgusted me. I never saw you wear this look when you told someone about me. Sadness arose inside me again. The feeling that I would burst inside. Time to wear my mask, time to smile and pretend to be happy. It's just like back then. Aerith. Do you know what you are causing?
"She spread her arms wide, told me she would hug me and comfort me. She was in this church I was at yesterday again. Her smile, it was so warm, so pure, so gentle." The way he said it, it was something I never heard before. Not from this man's mouth, a man that would not show his emotions to the outside and only allow one single person, the person he loves, to see some of them. I wanted to see them, wanted to share this very moment with him, the moment he would reveal his feelings to me like I am sure he did towards her. Didn't you know that, Cloud?
"Even though I know she's a product of my fantasy, she feels so real to me. As though I really knew her." I heard him say. If I had not turned my back towards him, he would see tears forming in my eyes again. I knew back then it was wrong for me to think this way, to feel a little part of my heart being happy about her death, but now I realize that it was justified. The pain she caused me and the pain she caused Cloud. You are still between us even if you are dead.
"Sounds nice." I said and turned around smiling, pretending to be interested in his story and happy. But I am not and he would never find out.
(Tifa POV End)
"She is dead Cloud. Dead, you hear?"
Cloud woke up from his nap on the couch. Who was dead? The words still rang in his mind. Someone had died. Did he know her good? Was she a friend?
(Cloud POV)
Tifa being my only source to my past I wanted to ask her. I strode into the living room where I eventually found her. She had been ironing clothes it seemed.
"Tifa?" I tried to get her attention. She turned around and I watched her long dark hair swing along with her movements. It looked silky. Might it feel silky too?
"Yes?" she raised an eyebrow at me. Might I have disturbed her?
"Did anyone in my past ever die? A person close to me?" asking this I felt her expression froze. Did I ask something wrong? Was there really someone that had died?"
She avoided my eyes and scanned the pile of clothes.
"Yes." she finally retorted. She bit her lower lip. "Your mother."
"My mother?" I stammered. Parents. I completely forgot about them. Waking up to a woman who I lived with, I did not even bother thinking about my parents. Mum. My head lowered. Glancing at her I felt this was an uncomfortable subject to her. Might she have known my mother good? I decided to change subjects.
"Well then, tell me more about our childhood days. What kind of friends were we?" A happier subject, indeed.
(Cloud POV End)
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(Tifa POV)
I lied to him. With a straight face I lied to him. My heart, it ached so much. But it was only for you Cloud, you hear? Only for you.
"We were good friends." No way I could have told him I had a crush on him to start with. That's something I confessed to him later on. How hard it was for me to tell him. And I would need to do it again. If only I knew what he remembered about the time we shared. Though I doubted he remembered anything. After all, I was not as important as Aerith, right? Cloud, you have hurt me so.
"We grew up in the same town." I added. "It was called Nibelheim." After telling him the name, I prayed to god he would not be stupid enough to go search about his mother or anything. But I was confident, that he would not do so. If only I had this confidence about the matter with Aerith. I knew you would go on searching for her. And it was up to me to stop you.
"Sounds nice. I bet we played a lot." he retorted smiling at me a little.
Swallowing my pain away I nodded and forced a smile onto my lips. "And later on we travelled with friends. Just anywhere around the world." I lied again – with the same straight face. Remembering Sephiroth would mean remembering Aerith too and everything that happened. And Zack. Yes there was still his friend, the one he believed to be once. "Hey, could you do some errands for me?" I asked him, hoping he would agree. And yes he agreed, he nodded at me. I handed him the letter and waited for his departure.
The door fell shut and I felt a door inside me falling shut too – the door I kept open for so long. Hope. I sank to the floor feeling the goose bumps forming on my arms. I thought it was hard to gain access to your heart once, to be close to you somewhat. But now it feels as though this time was wasted. All these tears I shed because of you, all these pain I held inside. You forgot them in an instant, yet you remember her. If I walked out the door and never return, would you care? Maybe now you would, after all you were dependand on me. I was the only gate to your past you had. And as a friend and someone who cared deeply for you, it was my duty to protect you from finding out she is dead.
Aerith. If you wanted him to be happy, you should have made him stop looking for you. Made him realize that there were others caring a great deal for him.
I felt pathetic praying to a dead, asking her for help. Sleep, how I welcomed sleep.
(Tifa POV End)
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A little short but I hope you'll enjoy it either way. :) Once again I'm looking forward to see reviews. Stay tuned!
